My son's friend

Shelley wrote:
"NL" wrote in message
snip
So my advice is: don't talk about, talk with and try to work something
out. They don't have to become best friends, but setting up playdates
might make it easier for both kids to realize that they don't play well
together and that there might be better friends out there with whom they
do play together well.

The feeling I'm getting from my son J is that he doesn't hate C and wouldn't
mind playing with him some of the time but sometimes would like to do his
own thing with his other friends too. I'm not sure about talking with C's
mother either as she seems to have some of her own issues (father is not in
the picture and they live with the grandpartents)

And? I always feel so insulted when people don't come to me with
problems because "you have so much on your plate already" meaning me
being a single mom of two. They let things escalate before telling me
which makes the problems so much harder to "fix". I mean, if something's
been going on for half a year without me knowing I can usually not fix
them withing 3 days while the teacher/parent/whoever thinks "It's been
going on for half a year, when's she finally getting a handle on that
kid?!" and usually results in the "Oh, I can see you're very overwhelmed
with your children" No, I'm not, I'm just overwhelmed with people not
telling me the truth and assuming stuff instead of talking to me!

Single mothers aren't any different than married mothers. Imagine that:
A military wife whose husband's gone to Iraq for 18 months gets treated
differently than me because OMG she's married and has a husband and I'm
not. Or the wife whose husband goes on business trips that last weeks. I
mean, who's raising those kids? Is that mom just as overwhelmed as me in
other peoples eyes? At least I'm not sitting here worried that my
husband might get killed.

They have had some playdates as they live right down the road from my mother
(J's after school caregiver). I think they get along OK but are not best
buddies.

Well, they don't have to be best buddies, they just have to keep on
getting along. And in my experience the best way for kids to get along
well is for them to interact a lot. So they can get a feel for how the
other one might react. I don't know how applicable that is for a child
with Aspergers, but it's definitely applicable for your son. And this
way he can learn different ways to deal with "clingy" peers.

cu
nicole

"NL" wrote in message
...
Shelley wrote:
"NL" wrote in message
snip
So my advice is: don't talk about, talk with and try to work something
out. They don't have to become best friends, but setting up playdates
might make it easier for both kids to realize that they don't play well
together and that there might be better friends out there with whom they
do play together well.

The feeling I'm getting from my son J is that he doesn't hate C and
wouldn't
mind playing with him some of the time but sometimes would like to do his
own thing with his other friends too. I'm not sure about talking with
C's
mother either as she seems to have some of her own issues (father is not
in
the picture and they live with the grandpartents)

And? I always feel so insulted when people don't come to me with
problems because "you have so much on your plate already" meaning me
being a single mom of two. They let things escalate before telling me
which makes the problems so much harder to "fix". I mean, if something's
been going on for half a year without me knowing I can usually not fix
them withing 3 days while the teacher/parent/whoever thinks "It's been
going on for half a year, when's she finally getting a handle on that
kid?!" and usually results in the "Oh, I can see you're very overwhelmed
with your children" No, I'm not, I'm just overwhelmed with people not
telling me the truth and assuming stuff instead of talking to me!

I didn't see her comment that way. I saw the "some issues" as "liable to
blow up at me" or cause problems in another way, or even burst into tears.
Not "she can't cope because she's a single mum".
Maybe I'm wrong, but I wouldn't see being a single mum as a reason not to
approach a parent with an issue you think they are best dealing with.
However it seems that this issue is happening at school, and the teacher is
sending notes home so the teacher is the one to approach.
Debbie

I didn't mean to offend. This was me trying to be tactful. The issue isn't
her being a single mom. I think she may have some of her own "social
problems". My sister was friends with her growing up and said she was
always a bit off. She seems to rely heavily on her parents and they were
awarded guardianship of C at one point early on. It's my feeling that they
don't really have the resources and understanding of how to deal with some
of his issues either.

--
Shelley
mom to 2 boys (6 and 3)


"NL" wrote in message
...
Shelley wrote:
"NL" wrote in message
snip
So my advice is: don't talk about, talk with and try to work something
out. They don't have to become best friends, but setting up playdates
might make it easier for both kids to realize that they don't play well
together and that there might be better friends out there with whom they
do play together well.

The feeling I'm getting from my son J is that he doesn't hate C and
wouldn't
mind playing with him some of the time but sometimes would like to do his
own thing with his other friends too. I'm not sure about talking with
C's
mother either as she seems to have some of her own issues (father is not
in
the picture and they live with the grandpartents)

And? I always feel so insulted when people don't come to me with
problems because "you have so much on your plate already" meaning me
being a single mom of two. They let things escalate before telling me
which makes the problems so much harder to "fix". I mean, if something's
been going on for half a year without me knowing I can usually not fix
them withing 3 days while the teacher/parent/whoever thinks "It's been
going on for half a year, when's she finally getting a handle on that
kid?!" and usually results in the "Oh, I can see you're very overwhelmed
with your children" No, I'm not, I'm just overwhelmed with people not
telling me the truth and assuming stuff instead of talking to me!

Single mothers aren't any different than married mothers. Imagine that:
A military wife whose husband's gone to Iraq for 18 months gets treated
differently than me because OMG she's married and has a husband and I'm
not. Or the wife whose husband goes on business trips that last weeks. I
mean, who's raising those kids? Is that mom just as overwhelmed as me in
other peoples eyes? At least I'm not sitting here worried that my
husband might get killed.

They have had some playdates as they live right down the road from my
mother
(J's after school caregiver). I think they get along OK but are not best
buddies.

Well, they don't have to be best buddies, they just have to keep on
getting along. And in my experience the best way for kids to get along
well is for them to interact a lot. So they can get a feel for how the
other one might react. I don't know how applicable that is for a child
with Aspergers, but it's definitely applicable for your son. And this
way he can learn different ways to deal with "clingy" peers.

cu
nicole

Shelley wrote:
I didn't mean to offend. This was me trying to be tactful. The issue isn't

I didn't feel offended, it's just that it's happened to me a lot of
times now and I think it's stupid. The problems Sam has in school now
started in kindergarten with a teacher who didn't approach me because
we'd just moved here so I was obviously busy... ARGH. He learned then
that he can get away with really horrid behavior while I'm not around,
and since then people some how assume that because he's doing it when
I'm not there he's doing it at home, too. And even worse, one teacher
accused me of being physically violent towards him!

her being a single mom. I think she may have some of her own "social
problems". My sister was friends with her growing up and said she was
always a bit off. She seems to rely heavily on her parents and they were
awarded guardianship of C at one point early on. It's my feeling that they
don't really have the resources and understanding of how to deal with some
of his issues either.

So she'll need to learn to deal. And she won't feel she needs to if she
always gets left out of the picture "because she can't deal with this".
I'm sure there are some organizations around who have parenting classes
available at little or even no cost, self help groups with parents of
special needs children, etc.

I'm not saying this is your job, just that she'll not become a better
parent if she doesn't even know she's not being the best parent she
could be. You know? It's kind of hard to explain...

cu
nicole

Shelley wrote:

My son, J, doesn't really want to play with this boy, C, but C won't leave
him alone. C will always sit with him on the bus and follow him around on
the playground.

My son was in a very similar situation in the 1st grade. When it was
finally figured out that there was a situation the counselor handled it
with both boys and things were 99.9% better. It wasn't a major deal.
They worked with the kid that wanted to be left alone to write a letter
to the clinger explaining things. They told him to use specific phrases
with clinger kid. They spoke with clinger kid and helped him understand
it all and to respond appropriately to those specific phrases. Problem
solved. They also worked with clinger boy to stand up for himself
because the situation, left un-addressed, did move into bulling
territory. Neither boy is a bad kid, they just needed a little guidance
and it all worked out well. With no intervention I think it would have
gotten really ugly.

I'd talk to the teacher. I'd leave the other mother out of it for now.
I'm not sure what that would accomplish other then making everyone
uncomfortable.


-

Nikki

"toypup" wrote in message
...



I think you're being harsh. Kids need to figure things out, but they
could use guidance. Teachers should send notes home when things get out
of hand. Otherwise, how would the parent know when things are not good?

the kids usually throw them away on the way home

mk5000


----- Original Message -----
From: "marika"
Newsgroups:
soc.culture.usa,soc.culture.europe,soc.culture.jap an,soc.culture.australian,alt.usenet.legends.leste r-mosley
Sent: Saturday, September 27, 2008 9:21 AM
Subject: INTERNATIONAL STUFF - Obama-McCain Debate | Rescue Haggling |
Palin's Persuasion | Munich's Wies'n



"Frank Kalder" wrote in message
...
M. K. ~ e-glob, Washington, DC
Frank Kalder ~ GLOBAL HAPLIFNET
~ http://haplifnet.blogspot.com [US+EU Community]
- transatlantic daily -


. US Campaign

New Yorkers declared Barack Obama the debate great over John McCain.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/poli...a_the_deb.html

John McCain drew on experience to out-debate Barack Obama.
http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/gerald_...barac k_obama

============

I believe they tied. I didn't think either of them did such a great job



. Rescue Haggling

Bush, McCain, Obama at the White House:
http://haplifnet.blogspot.com/2008/0...l-bailout.html


They're still haggling.

I'm watching the first debate between McCain and Obama.

That's one of the issues but they haven't solved anything.

I think they put too much makeup on Obama.

I think the government should seize the mortgage bonds and then
distribute
them to the public like its a combo lottery and stimulus check. Some
folks
would get good bonds some bad. Some would get some income from it and
some
wouldn't.

That would probably be costly to adminstrate but no less costly then what
they are proposing.

Maybe, a good idea. We'll see what's coming up after the weekend. A
package (jointly by republicans and democrats) as George announced
it.

=========

they've sworn to do it before the Asian markets open.
I believe there's a scam coming

============
. Bankruptcy

Another large bank went under.

Washington Mutual, now, acquired by JP Morgan Chase.



. Sarah Palin

... Babbled stupidly about Russia and not at all about
the mortgage crisis.

She appears to be sort of Jesus inspired.

Sort of? She grew up Catholic but then switched to evangelist
persuasion.
She's VERY religious.

But she also performed very poorly in the soft ball Katie Couric
interview
and that failure is much more important.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sq7xMGcuKK0

omg you got to see the faces McCain makes at Palin in this.

Yeah, and it's very funny with that soundtrack.



__
"Yeah, I left my wallet in El Segundo
Left my wallet in El Segundo
Left my wallet in El Segundo
I gotta get, I got-got ta get it"--tribe called quest


. Transatlantic Daily

Here's our summary:
http://haplifnet.blogspot.com/2008/0...update_27.html

. Munich's Wies'n News

BAVARIA, BEER AND GLOBALIZATION.

Sacrilege of Chinese Lederhosen Clouds Oktoberfest

The Munich Oktoberfest, the annual showcase of Bavarian culture, got
off to a rousing start with almost a million visitors downing 450,000
liters of beer over the opening weekend. But folk societies are
warning that the region's proud heritage is under attack from cheap
Lederhosen made in China, India and Eastern Europe. .
http://www.spiegel.de/international/...579729,00.html


13 Photos: http://www.spiegel.de/fotostrecke/fo...cke-35485.html

Australian dirndlmirndl:
http://www.spiegel.de/fotostrecke/fo...-35485-12.html



=================

omy isn't anything sacred anymore

I was on the metro coming home from George-town from the MBA tour. the
night I had the interview but then I stopped for a meal and then got on
the orange line metro.

CHeck this: read down through the email I just sent my sister



i was reading this hysterically funny article about a spat Stephen Hawking
was having with another scientist.


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/mai...scicern411.xml

it could be an Onion satirearticle except it's real

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2441451264/nm0001570

And I saw this guy on the metro .
I couldn't believe that no one recognized him,
He was reading a book, had a knapsack, and was wearing a baseball cap.

Unless it was a sibling, the resemblance was uncanny

I studied every inch of his face just to be sure it was him and I am sure
it was him
and I ran home and checked the features of the person I saw against these
photos

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1977915392/nm0001570

this photo is even more like what he looked like

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001570/

his bio says he was raised in Columbia MD and he went to college I think
William and Mary, William and Lee or Mary and Lee, wherever one of the
guys I used to work for sent his kid because she went to school with him

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Norton

omg his grandfather is developer Rouse

and now I am sure OMG IT WAS HIM LOOK AT THIS ON WIKI

Personal life
Norton is generally known for his reluctance to embrace his celebrity
status, and has said, "If I ever have to stop taking the subway, I'm gonna
have a heart attack."[18] Norton has stated in interviews that he is a fan
of the Baltimore Orioles.[19] He was involved in many of Cal Ripken Jr.'s
retirement activities in 2001 when Norton was asked to be a part of
Ripken's biography for Major League Baseball (MLB).[19] He attended
Ripken's ceremony at the Hall of Fame in July 2007.[20] Norton has a
private pilot license and discussed his flight training when interviewed
on episodes of The Late Show with David Letterman and Inside the Actor's
Studio.[21]

mk5000

"What I need is a good defense
cause Im feelin like a criminal.
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I sinned against"--Fiona APple, Criminal