Child support modification in Texas

A couple of points:

1) The assets he took from the divorce have nothing to do with the amount of
CS he will pay. Divorce and CS are separate issues. The assets he recieved
were based on the length of the marriage, not the existence or number of
children.

2) Have you ever tried to get day care for only 1 month? It is virtually
impossible to get day care services for only 1 month because the providers
have more than enough parents who need day care the whole year. The
situation is similar to finding an apartment owner that is willing to rent
an apartment for only 1 month. The reason for this is that landlords and
daycare providers make money when the apartment is rented or the day care
slot is filled. Why fill the apartment for 1 month or daycare slot for 1
month when you can fill it for 12 months. A 1 month situation means you
will have to fill the slot again 1 month later. It just doesn't make
economic sence.

3) As for you providing the clothes, underwear, etc. and benefiting from "me
sending clothing and personal items with the kids"
I beg to differ. He payed you $550 per month in CS, are you going to tell
us that some of the $550/month didn't pay for clothes, underwear, personal
items, etc. If it didn't pay for some of the clothes, underwear, personal
items, etc, what did it pay for? Don't forget that you too have an
obligation to pay based on your income, even though you don't have to cut a
monthly check to be spent on the children. Bottom line is, contrary to what
you believe, you didn't provide everything. You provided anything you spent
over and above his $550 per month CS payment. If you spent less than
$550/month on the children you provided nothing. Going to the store and
doing the shopping doesn't necessarily mean you provided something.
Further, anything you spent above $550/month was entirely within your
control. If you chose to spend less than $550/per month, it was a choice
you made that he didn't have.

4) You are correct once the children are emancipated he will no long have to
pay CS. But neither will you. If you allow the children to stay with you
after they become adults, that is your choice. Why must he continue to pay
for your choice? Is it decent to kick your children out of the house the
minute they become an adult?, I'd say no. Nor is it decent to require
support based on the NCP's and CP's income. Rather the decent thing to do
is base the amount of support on the cost of raising them. Sure you will
argue that the $550/month didn't cover the cost of raising them. That may
be true, but don't forget that you too were attributed a certain amount of
your income towards their support. Thus, the $550/month he payed wasn't
intended to cover the entire cost of raising the children. A fact
frequently forgotten by the custodial parent.

5) I understand that you think you have been considerate of him. However, I
submit that your belief is based on the false belief that his CS payment was
supposed to cover the entire amount needed to support the children. And
that,simple put, isn't true, because whether implict or explict to the
guideline formula, the CP also has an obligation to pay to support their
children. BTW, some courts have found that basing CS amounts solely on the
NCP's income is unconstitutional, becuase it violates the equal protection
clause. If the Texas formula is as you say, sooner or later Texas will be
revising its CS formula to explicitly incorporate the CP's income. But
don't fear, it won't make difference in the end, the NCP will still pay the
same amount.

Food for though.

Leslie wrote in message
om...
First of all I was asking for information on the process of going
through the Texas AG's office. I will address the questions and
bashing, however, if there is anyone that has actual experience of
working with the AG's office for a modification of child support
(increase or decrease) I would still like to hear from you.


In response to your questions. First of all the calculation for Texas
is based on the ncp's income after taxes. 20% for the first child, 5%
for each additional child, but no more than 50% of net pay. Plus new
children of the ncp's can reduce the total percentage. The ncp's
spouse's income is never considered. The cp's spouse's income is
never considered. The state guidelines do not include the cp's income
either. However, I understand that a judge can rule differently than
what the state guidelines are, but history of the rulings rarely show
that they vary from the state guidelines.

Before I answer all of the questions, I'd like to point out a few
things. When we divorced 10 years ago he was at that time making
$40k-$45k a year. With his income at that time, along with his other
assets that he took from the divorce my lawyer wanted me to go for
$1000 a month child support. I did not want to cause him hardship
with paying child support, so I chose to only ask for $550 a month.
$550 a month for two kids is what an ncp would normally pay based on
$32k salary in Texas.

In the 10 years that we have been divorced I have NEVER asked my EX to
pay any extras. I understood that the child support was all that I
got, and never asked for any more. My children played at least 2 or
more sports every year, had decent clothing, a good education, prompt
medical, vision, dental care, etc. Even though I knew then that my EX
could be paying more, I never asked for more. He did provide
insurance and sometimes paid his 1/2 of uninsured medical expenses,
but most of the time I didn't ask for that either. Plus, because I
work for the same company, I know for a fact that the insurance
coverage is not expensive as it sometimes can be. To cover the
employee and two dependents for medical, dental, and vision is less
than $100 a month. Even though our "standard" custody order stated
that my EX was supposed to provide all clothing and personal items for
the children when he had visitation, I always sent them with clothes
and personal hygiene items. I always sent clothes, and most of the
time they were not returned, so I had to replace things like underwear
and socks every other month. But I still sent clothes with them
because I knew my EX didn't want to spend the $$ to have clothes for
them at his house. When my children were younger and required day
care or a babysitter my EX refused to exercise his visitation if it
ever fell on a weekend or holiday that he had to work. I never had a
problem with that, even though I could have told him tough luck, hire
a babysitter like I have to when I work. In 10 years my EX has never
exercised his full month of July visitation. He always had the excuse
of "I have to work and don't have a babysitter". Yeah, he had to
work, so did I every month of the year, and I had to pay for child
care. Once the kids were old enough to stay home by themselves he
still never did his full visitation. So he has never had the
additional expense of having his children full time during extended
vacations.

So, after 10 years of getting FAR less child support than I could, I
asked my EX to contribute $150 a month more. It would have been $75
more out of each of his paychecks. After 10 years of him knowing that
he was paying far below the state guidelines (he readily admitted this
to me) he still refused to pay a cent more. After 10 years of him
never having to buy a pair of socks or underwear or jeans or t-shirts
for the kids to have at his home, because I provided everything, he
still refused to pay a small increase.

Yes, I am forced to take him back to court to get him to contribute a
little more to his kids support. I do not intend on taking the entire
amount that I could get, but he will understand that he should have
taken the initial offer of an increase of $150. Plus, how many
children actually move out of their parents house the day after they
turn 18 or graduate from high school? How many custodial parents are
able to stop feeding, housing, or providing medical care to their
children the day after they turn 18 or graduate from high school? Not
many. Of course I would be well within my LEGAL rights to cut off any
and all support to my children when that day comes, pack their bags
and escort them out of the house, but that will not happen. I will
have support expense long after the day of emancipation than my EX
will. My children will be going to college and I will do my best to
help them out. They will have to work, and possibly get student loans
or grants, but I will still have to help them out. Yet their father
will be completely and totally off the hook to ever spend another dime
on them once that day comes. Sure, most will say why should he
continue to support an adult, which is true. However, no decent
parent is going to give their child an unconditional boot out the door
the day they turn 18 or graduate from high school.

So, regardless of any opinions of me being a money hungry ex-wife. I
know myself that I have been MORE THAN FAIR and considerate of my EX's
financial obligations to his children. He NEVER had a problem with
benefitting from me sending clothing and personal items with the kids
for every other weekend visitation for the past 10 years. He NEVER
had a problem with me never uttering a word about him not exercising
his summer vacation, thus him saving hundreds of dollars in child
care, and me paying hundreds of dollars for child care instead. He
NEVER had a problem when I didn't bother to ask him for his half of
what the vision insurance didn't cost. He NEVER had a problem giving
me his sob story of why he couldn't pay hundreds of dollars in medical
expenses that accumulated, of which I had already paid out, and have
never gotten reimbursed for. Even though I have been considerate over
the past 10 years, I ask for a little bit more in child support, and
all of a sudden I am the evil money sucking one? Whatever...


1. ) What do you base his income on? Do you have any facts like
paystubs,
tax returns?

We work at the same company and he has the same job level and title
that I have, plus he has been at the company for 8 years longer than I
have been. Our company has salary levels for each job level and
title. Therefore, I am able to estimate what his salary is. He has
not told me what his salary is, but I have a very good idea what it
is.

2.) Are you married?

Yes, but Texas doesn't consider the CP's new spouse's income.

3.) Is he married?

Yes, but Texas doesn't consider the NCP's new spouse's income or
expenses.

4.) Does he have any other children?

Yes, he and his wife have a child together. I understand that this
will reduce the percentage that the calculation will be based on.

5.)What is your gross monthly income.

$68k, but it is not used in the calculation.

6.) What is your new spouse or live-in B/Fs gross monthly income.

Doesn't matter. This would never be considered in the calcuation in
Texas.

7.) How much time do you allow him to spend witht he children each
month?

I have never restricted his visitation, he has always been welcome to
see his kids any time that he wants.

The court ordered visitation is the 1st, 3rd, and 5th Friday 6pm -
Sunday 6pm. Wednesday evenings 6-8pm. The entire month of July.
Every other Spring break, every other Thanksgiving, we split Christmas
break.

However he never exercises the entire visitation that he could. He
does the 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekend. Never once in 10 years has he
done a Wednesday visitation. For the first 7 years he never did the
entire month of July, just did the eow throughout the summer.
Occassionally has the kids some of the time during their Spring Break,
but most of the time they stay with me or I take them on vacation
because their Dad doesn't do his visitation. He does use his
Thanksgiving and Christmas visitation. Oh, and btw, he has always
lived within 20-30 miles of me, so it's not an issue of long distance,
plus he drives within 2 blocks of my home every night on his way home
from work.

8.) Do you own a home?

Yes

9.) Does he own a home?

Yes

If I understand the process with the AG's office when reviewing child
support for a modification, my EX and I will have an opportunity to
have a meeting with an agent of the AG's office to negotiate an
increase. I will have the ability to accept less than the state
ordered amount.

I did try via several letters and conversations to talk to my EX about
an increase. He angrily refused to negotiate any increase what so
ever. His exact words were "I know you can get more money, but I
won't voluntarily give you one cent more, you will have to take me to
court". To which I replied, "I guess that is what I will have to do
then". I also told him "All I have to do is contact the AG's office,
and then they will take it from there". So he knows that it can be
done.

I guess there is still time that I could approach him once more. But
the other times that I approached him he refused to even consider it.
Contrary to popular belief, I'm not out to rob him blind.

"ND" wrote in message ...
Yes, I am forced to take him back to court to get him to contribute a
little more to his kids support. I do not intend on taking the entire
amount that I could get, but he will understand that he should have
taken the initial offer of an increase of $150.

How did you come up with $150 increase?



Once the Attorney General is involved in Texas they take control, you have
very little say. They can take away your EX's drivers license and put him
in jail if he falls behind in payments. They constantly harass the NCP with
threatening letters. My brother-in-law recently lost his joband had to
move. He called the Texas Attorney Generals office and gave them his new
address and wanted to set up new payments due to him being unemployed. He
receives threatening letters every week saying they "found him" and they are
taking him to court. Funny because he contacted them first. The Attorney
General is only interested in how much money they can collect becasue it
makes him look good and increased their Federal revenue. I believe they
take a percentage of what they collect.



Your best option is to sit down and talk with your EX again tell him you are
going to contact the Attorney General and see if you can work something out.
It is best for all involved to keep the case out of the courts hands,
especially over only $150. Tell him it is not ruining his life, because the
courts won't leave him alone and no one deserves that.

Maybe, Leslie...

I have recently opened a case with the Texas Attorney Generals office
to request a review of the amount of child support my EX pays. It has
been 10 years since the original amount was set, and I know that my EX
makes at least twice as much as he did when it was set. He currently
pays $550 a month for two kids, which was based on $32k. I asked him
to voluntarily agree to an increase of $150, and I would file the
modification with the courts, but he refused. He admitted that I
could easily get more money from him, but said that he wouldn't do it,
I would have to take him to court. Which is why I am doing so.

I know that he makes at least $70-$75k a year now. According to the
guidelines after taxes for two kids, he could be forced to pay
$1000.00+ in child support. I don't know why he wouldn't agree to
paying $700?

He wants to prove to the kids how greedy you are beyond any doubt...

Mel Gamble

I've filed all the paperwork, and have provided the AG's office with a
copy of the original divorce decree, and sent in an affidavit showing
payments that my EX has made directly to me (which is all over the
past 10 years). I've been told that I would receive a notice in the
mail of the court date when it is set.

So, I'm assuming my EX will be served papers to appear in court for a
child support review. I'm wondering how the AG's office handles it if
the other parent conveniently avoids being around or available for the
subpeona to be served? I'm sure that my EX will avoid being served,
just to prolong the time until he has to pay additional child support.
Has any other custodial parents been through this? How does the
Texas courts look at a child support increase when the non-custodial
avoided or prolonged the court hearing?

Any others that have been through a child support modification with
the Texas AG's office, please let me know how it has gone for you.

Thanks!

So what???

I wanted to comment on your response separately.

There is nothing in the law that states that child support is or
should be 50% of the actual costs of money spent directly on a child.
Also, there is nothing in the law that states the entire amount of
child support received should be matched by the receiving parent and
spent directly on the child. Texas bases child support on a
percentage of the NCP's net income. Texas posts charts each year of
what they recognize as net income based on gross income for child
support calculations.

I have never forced or expected my EX to pay strictly by the
guidelines of the state of Texas. If that were true he would have
started out paying more than $550 a month in the first place, and I
would have had the child support reviewed every three years and taken
the entire amount that the state allows. I've never done that and I
didn't intend on doing that.

Let's look at some numbers he

You're starting with BS numbers...you're reaching BS conclusions. What if "the
law" said you could have $130K per year and one of his ribs each year? Would
you still be telling us how kind you were by not taking an award that was so
ridiculous in the first place.

Consider: I DID NOT sneak into your house and rob you last night...now does
that prove what a nice guy I am or not? Shouldn't you be thanking me for not
doing so?

Mel Gamble

If I would have started out with the state guidelines for child
support when first divorced, when my EX was making $45k he would have
paid $730 a month. Let's say I went in for a review after 4 years and
he was probably making about $60k, that would have put him at paying
$948 a month. Then, I could have gone in for another review 4 years
later when he was making $70k and that would have him paying $1075 a
month.

So, I could have been receiving the following amounts for the past 10
years by the state guidelines:

4 years @ $730 a month = $35,040
4 years @ $948 a month = $45,504
2 years @ $1075 a month = $25,800

For a total of $106,344 in child support over the past 10 years.

But, I have remained at receiving $550 a month for the past 10 years
which has been $66,000 in child support over the past 10 years.

My EX still has from today 23 months to pay child support for two
children, then another 34 months after that to pay for one child.

So, if I receive the state guidelines of child support for that period
of time and not taking into consideration any other increases it
would be:

23 months @ $1075 = $24,725
34 months @ $860 = $29,240

For a grand total of child support until the last child is emancipated
of $160,309

But, I was asking him for an increase of $150, which would have put
the child support at $700 a month. This would have put him at paying
the remaining 57 months at $700 a month for a total of $39,900, making
the grand total of child support for what I actually asked for at
$105,900.

So, I asked him to pay an additional $150 a month, which would have
resulted in him paying a whopping $8,550 more over the next 5 years
than what he is currently paying, even though I could have forced him
to pay by the guidelines and gotten a heck of a lot more money over
all.

All things considered, if you look at the differences of what the
state guidelines are and what I'm asking for, I'd say he is getting a
pretty good deal.

From what I have read about the process for child support
modification, he and I will have one meeting with an agent of the
state, where a modification amount can be agreed upon. If my EX will
agree to $160 increase at that meeting, sign all the necessary
paperwork, etc. then that will be the amount I will ask for. If he
fights the increase or refuses to cooperate, I will probably leave it
up to the judges discretion on what the child support amount should be
set at.






"gini52" wrote in message
...
"Leslie" wrote in message
om...
I have recently opened a case with the Texas Attorney Generals office
to request a review of the amount of child support my EX pays. It has
been 10 years since the original amount was set, and I know that my EX
makes at least twice as much as he did when it was set. He currently
pays $550 a month for two kids, which was based on $32k. I asked him
to voluntarily agree to an increase of $150, and I would file the
modification with the courts, but he refused. He admitted that I
could easily get more money from him, but said that he wouldn't do it,
I would have to take him to court. Which is why I am doing so.
====
You're taking him to court to get more money because he makes more money
now?
What are your expenses for the kids? Do you spend more than $1100. a month
on the kids
(assuming you are contributing *your half* of their support)?
(More Below)
===

I know that he makes at least $70-$75k a year now. According to the
guidelines after taxes for two kids, he could be forced to pay
$1000.00+ in child support. I don't know why he wouldn't agree to
paying $700?
===
Maybe because the guidelines are based on an artificial "standard of
living"
that has no relationship to the custodial parent's actual costs for the
kids' needs.
Just because the guidelines state that he *should* be paying a certain
amount, does not
mean that your children have a need for that amount of support. There is no
reason
he should have to shoulder more than half of the childrens' actual needs.
Have you
determined the dollar outlay you actually spend on the kids and then
divided
that
amount between you and your ex? My guess is that if you do that, you will
find that he is already paying
a fair share of the childrens' costs. You have a choice to get every dime
the court will give you and strain the relationship between the kids and
their father or you can appreciate that he is paying his fair share and not
cause the undue strain on that relationship. What is more important to you?
What is more important to the kids? Who wins and who loses in your plan of
action?
===
===

Although it should be obvious to any sane adult with moderate
intelligence, I will point it out anyway - there is a huge difference.

A person that willingly gives up something that would benefit them and
be entirely legal in the eyes of the law does merit much more thought
and consideration than a person that willing gives up something that
would benefit them that was entirely illegal in the eyes of the law.

You really need to come up with a better example if you want to get
your point across.

I have willingly agreed that the state guidelines are high on child
support by taking far less from my EX for the past 10 years, and I am
asking for an increase that would still be quite a bit less that the
state guidelines. With that in mind, why am I constantly reminded and
blamed for the state guidelines being high?

I have made a statement through my actions that child support
guidelines are high. I have shown consideration to my EX for the fact
that they are high by never demanding or attempting to get what the
state guidelines call for.

(Mel Gamble) wrote in message ...

You're starting with BS numbers...you're reaching BS conclusions. What if "the
law" said you could have $130K per year and one of his ribs each year? Would
you still be telling us how kind you were by not taking an award that was so
ridiculous in the first place.

Consider: I DID NOT sneak into your house and rob you last night...now does
that prove what a nice guy I am or not? Shouldn't you be thanking me for not
doing so?

Mel Gamble

Mel Gamble wrote in message
...
Maybe, Leslie...

I have recently opened a case with the Texas Attorney Generals office
to request a review of the amount of child support my EX pays. It has
been 10 years since the original amount was set, and I know that my EX
makes at least twice as much as he did when it was set. He currently
pays $550 a month for two kids, which was based on $32k. I asked him
to voluntarily agree to an increase of $150, and I would file the
modification with the courts, but he refused. He admitted that I
could easily get more money from him, but said that he wouldn't do it,
I would have to take him to court. Which is why I am doing so.

I know that he makes at least $70-$75k a year now. According to the
guidelines after taxes for two kids, he could be forced to pay
$1000.00+ in child support. I don't know why he wouldn't agree to
paying $700?

He wants to prove to the kids how greedy you are beyond any doubt...

Mel Gamble



I don't know if she is greedy Mel, but she probably doesn't realize what can
and will happen when she lets the government take control if this. She
should be happy that she gets some financial help from him period and be
more concerned with him spending time with the kids. Adding also that once
this goes to Domestics, he will probably see the kids less. So maybe Leslie
should take a second look at this and see what is more important.... money
or the kids.

T

I do not recall placing any blame on the state for the child support
increase, so I'm not sure where you came up with that idea. I
initiated the review, I've not said anything contrary to that fact.

Like I've said several times, I made several offers to him and asked
him to voluntarily agree to an increase of $150. His exact words were
something like "I know you can get more money from me, but I won't pay
any extra, you will have to take me to court to get any more".

What do you mean by false choices? I asked him more than once to pay
a little more he refused. I am taking him to court because he would
not even negotiate paying any more that what he has paid for the past
10 years. What false choices have I made?

I can tell you right now that any NCP is paying child support, knows
that they are paying about half of what the state guidelines call for,
is approached by the other parent for the first and only increase in
10 years, and are asked for a 1/3 of the amount the increase would be
by the state - they are an idiot if they refuse and tell the other
parent to just take them to court. Plain and simple. I asked my EX
for a small increase, and because he refuses to negotiate at all, I am
taking him to court.

Of course, as with everything that happens to a NCP, his stupidity is
my fault, right? Whatever...

"Bob Whiteside" wrote in message arthlink.net...
"Leslie" wrote in message
om...



But, I was asking him for an increase of $150, which would have put
the child support at $700 a month. This would have put him at paying
the remaining 57 months at $700 a month for a total of $39,900, making
the grand total of child support for what I actually asked for at
$105,900.

So, I asked him to pay an additional $150 a month, which would have
resulted in him paying a whopping $8,550 more over the next 5 years
than what he is currently paying, even though I could have forced him
to pay by the guidelines and gotten a heck of a lot more money over
all.

All things considered, if you look at the differences of what the
state guidelines are and what I'm asking for, I'd say he is getting a
pretty good deal.

Here's an option for you. If you are really serious about only wanting to
get an additional $150 per month, would you agree to return any amount over
that amount you get through state action back to the father? Your comments
seem to indicate that since he refuses to agree to your plan, he is going to
be"forced" to pay more and it is all his fault.

It is my ongoing opinion that women who give these false choices to men are
really just trying to justify for themselves their own guilt in using the
state to screw their ex-husbands. The game is to pretend the mother is
innocent and the state is doing all the dirty work. When the children get
older they see through this little game. They see their mothers pretending
the state is the bad guy and call their mothers on it saying things like,
"Mom, the state is going after dad because you gave them your approval to do
it."

One side of your CS increase argument blames the father. The other part of
your CS increase argument blames the state. You are treating the situation
like you are an innocent bystander.

More like she doesn't give a rats ass because revenge is much too imporant
to her.

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

Mel Gamble wrote in message
...
Maybe, Leslie...

I have recently opened a case with the Texas Attorney Generals office
to request a review of the amount of child support my EX pays. It has
been 10 years since the original amount was set, and I know that my EX
makes at least twice as much as he did when it was set. He currently
pays $550 a month for two kids, which was based on $32k. I asked him
to voluntarily agree to an increase of $150, and I would file the
modification with the courts, but he refused. He admitted that I
could easily get more money from him, but said that he wouldn't do it,
I would have to take him to court. Which is why I am doing so.

I know that he makes at least $70-$75k a year now. According to the
guidelines after taxes for two kids, he could be forced to pay
$1000.00+ in child support. I don't know why he wouldn't agree to
paying $700?

He wants to prove to the kids how greedy you are beyond any doubt...

Mel Gamble



I don't know if she is greedy Mel, but she probably doesn't realize what
can
and will happen when she lets the government take control if this. She
should be happy that she gets some financial help from him period and be
more concerned with him spending time with the kids. Adding also that once
this goes to Domestics, he will probably see the kids less. So maybe
Leslie
should take a second look at this and see what is more important.... money
or the kids.

T

I read all her posts, I think. Everyone deserves a chance. I won't be
surprised if she takes this to the courts though.
Batch File wrote in message
.. .
I think you need to read her heartless attack on the poor man who has
mental
problems. I'm prefectly sure that she is and always will be, a heartless
wench.



"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

Batch File wrote in message
. ..
More like she doesn't give a rats ass because revenge is much too
imporant
to her.


Possible but I wanted to add that before I came here, I didn't know the
extent of abuse that NCP's get through the CS system. Hopefully Leslie
will
read through the negative bashing and get some good info that will
assist
her in a wise desicion.

The false choice is paying $150/month more with no assurance that you won't
take him to court to increase the amount beyond the $150/month you ask, and
being taking to court to pay what court orders, anyway. Either way he ends
up paying what the court orders. Unless you can provide assurance that you
won't ask for anything beyond $150/month more, it is a false choice. And
you can't provide that assurance.

If I were him, I'd do the same thing. For some reason, he doesn't trust
you. Why might that be?


Leslie wrote in message
om...
I do not recall placing any blame on the state for the child support
increase, so I'm not sure where you came up with that idea. I
initiated the review, I've not said anything contrary to that fact.

Like I've said several times, I made several offers to him and asked
him to voluntarily agree to an increase of $150. His exact words were
something like "I know you can get more money from me, but I won't pay
any extra, you will have to take me to court to get any more".

What do you mean by false choices? I asked him more than once to pay
a little more he refused. I am taking him to court because he would
not even negotiate paying any more that what he has paid for the past
10 years. What false choices have I made?

I can tell you right now that any NCP is paying child support, knows
that they are paying about half of what the state guidelines call for,
is approached by the other parent for the first and only increase in
10 years, and are asked for a 1/3 of the amount the increase would be
by the state - they are an idiot if they refuse and tell the other
parent to just take them to court. Plain and simple. I asked my EX
for a small increase, and because he refuses to negotiate at all, I am
taking him to court.

Of course, as with everything that happens to a NCP, his stupidity is
my fault, right? Whatever...

"Bob Whiteside" wrote in message
arthlink.net...
"Leslie" wrote in message
om...



But, I was asking him for an increase of $150, which would have put
the child support at $700 a month. This would have put him at paying
the remaining 57 months at $700 a month for a total of $39,900, making
the grand total of child support for what I actually asked for at
$105,900.

So, I asked him to pay an additional $150 a month, which would have
resulted in him paying a whopping $8,550 more over the next 5 years
than what he is currently paying, even though I could have forced him
to pay by the guidelines and gotten a heck of a lot more money over
all.

All things considered, if you look at the differences of what the
state guidelines are and what I'm asking for, I'd say he is getting a
pretty good deal.

Here's an option for you. If you are really serious about only wanting
to
get an additional $150 per month, would you agree to return any amount
over
that amount you get through state action back to the father? Your
comments
seem to indicate that since he refuses to agree to your plan, he is
going to
be"forced" to pay more and it is all his fault.

It is my ongoing opinion that women who give these false choices to men
are
really just trying to justify for themselves their own guilt in using
the
state to screw their ex-husbands. The game is to pretend the mother is
innocent and the state is doing all the dirty work. When the children
get
older they see through this little game. They see their mothers
pretending
the state is the bad guy and call their mothers on it saying things
like,
"Mom, the state is going after dad because you gave them your approval
to do
it."

One side of your CS increase argument blames the father. The other part
of
your CS increase argument blames the state. You are treating the
situation
like you are an innocent bystander.