next step

I received full custody and a child support order about 3 years ago, but
never tried to collect.

Now the ex has got her act somewhat together and will be starting work soon
once she receive her degree.

She has made no attempt to be a mother again. So I think it's time for me
to get what is owed to the children. At least finacially. She has move out
of state also.

Any suggestions as to what is the first step? Anyone? Beside going back to
a lawyer. They seem to cost me $1000s and her nothing.

TIA

Jefe

Why do you need her money?
Your children need two parents more than they need their mother's money.
A better post would have been; How can I make their mother more interested
in and a participant in our children's lives? That my friend is what is
owed to the children.

Unless your children are picking garbage out of a can for dinner, why chase
their mother?
Raising them on your own? Pay for em. They are yours.
"jefe" wrote in message
...
I received full custody and a child support order about 3 years ago, but
never tried to collect.

Now the ex has got her act somewhat together and will be starting work
soon
once she receive her degree.

She has made no attempt to be a mother again. So I think it's time for me
to get what is owed to the children. At least finacially. She has move
out
of state also.

Any suggestions as to what is the first step? Anyone? Beside going back
to
a lawyer. They seem to cost me $1000s and her nothing.

TIA

Jefe

You should have little or no trouble enforcing the current order, and I
applaud your effort to do so. Call the Clerk of Courts in your area.
Explain your situation, stressing the 3 year delay. Ask them what your
first step should be. Much depends on the laws of the two states
involved.
Have you spoken to you ex about this? She may be willing to voluntarily
begin payments. You may mention that, by law, she owes from day one.
That's three years back support, so you have some leverage going in.
Either way call your clerk of courts and they will tell you what to do
and the next step you should take.
Your decision to put your children first, despite any negatives, is what
sets the truly great parents apart from the average ones. It would be
much easier to just let it go, but certainly not what is best for your
children. Increasing your children's standard of living is a huge part
of successful parenting.
You cannot control your exwife, you probably don't even wish to. You
can, however, make sure she pays her fair share.
Best of luck,
Bill

In article , William Barger
says...

You should have little or no trouble enforcing the current order, and I
applaud your effort to do so. Call the Clerk of Courts in your area.
====
And how many times have you dragged your ex into enforcement hearings, and how
many times has she been jailed for contempt for not paying, and how successful
have you been at collecting?
====

Thanks for the input. Contacting the court should be my
first step.
thanks
"jefe" wrote in message
...
I received full custody and a child support order about 3 years ago, but
never tried to collect.

Now the ex has got her act somewhat together and will be starting work
soon
once she receive her degree.

She has made no attempt to be a mother again. So I think it's time for me
to get what is owed to the children. At least finacially. She has move
out
of state also.

Any suggestions as to what is the first step? Anyone? Beside going back
to
a lawyer. They seem to cost me $1000s and her nothing.

TIA

Jefe

You can't make someone be a mother. If the interest doesn't come from
within, it just isn't going be there. I guess it's more on principle. You
just don't walk out of your own children's lives. It should be a crime.

"Unless your children are picking garbage out of a can for dinner, why chase
their mother?
Raising them on your own? Pay for em. They are yours."

of course I will take of my children, not just because they are mine. I
will do it with the money I earn and what they are owed. They have been
ripped off enough

"SCREWEDBYJUDGEGEOTOOKIEJAMES" wrote
in message ...
Why do you need her money?
Your children need two parents more than they need their mother's money.
A better post would have been; How can I make their mother more interested
in and a participant in our children's lives? That my friend is what is
owed to the children.

Unless your children are picking garbage out of a can for dinner, why
chase
their mother?
Raising them on your own? Pay for em. They are yours.
"jefe" wrote in message
...
I received full custody and a child support order about 3 years ago, but
never tried to collect.

Now the ex has got her act somewhat together and will be starting work
soon
once she receive her degree.

She has made no attempt to be a mother again. So I think it's time for
me
to get what is owed to the children. At least finacially. She has move
out
of state also.

Any suggestions as to what is the first step? Anyone? Beside going back
to
a lawyer. They seem to cost me $1000s and her nothing.

TIA

Jefe

"jefe" wrote in message
...
You can't make someone be a mother. If the interest doesn't come from
within, it just isn't going be there. I guess it's more on principle.
You
just don't walk out of your own children's lives. It should be a crime.

"Unless your children are picking garbage out of a can for dinner, why
chase
their mother?
Raising them on your own? Pay for em. They are yours."

of course I will take of my children, not just because they are mine. I
will do it with the money I earn and what they are owed. They have been
ripped off enough

Oh, you're not making enough money to support them? That is, indeed, sad.
But you seem to have managed for the last 3 years.

How do you see them as having been ripped off? They have a loving father
caring for them, don't they? You've provided for all their needs, haven't
you?

Their mother, by your account, doesn't seem to have had her act together,
and has been, for whatever reason, out of their lives. Wouldn't it be nice
if, somehow, she could become a part of their lives again? Whic do you
think is the worst "rip-off? Losing their mother? Or losing the money she
should have provided? Which would they rather have? Their mother? Or the
$$$$$?

what do you think? they would like to have there old lives back, of course.
I do believe children are better off raised by a mother and a father. Yes
in most cases they can have there need met by just one. It happens all the
time. So you don't see how there getting ripped off???Money is obviously
irrelevant. One parent can NEVER provide what two healthy parents can. My
point was to "bow out" parentally is wrong. If the law say you still must
provide, you should.


"teachrmama" wrote in message
...

"jefe" wrote in message
...
You can't make someone be a mother. If the interest doesn't come from
within, it just isn't going be there. I guess it's more on principle.
You
just don't walk out of your own children's lives. It should be a crime.

"Unless your children are picking garbage out of a can for dinner, why
chase
their mother?
Raising them on your own? Pay for em. They are yours."

of course I will take of my children, not just because they are mine. I
will do it with the money I earn and what they are owed. They have been
ripped off enough

Oh, you're not making enough money to support them? That is, indeed, sad.
But you seem to have managed for the last 3 years.

How do you see them as having been ripped off? They have a loving father
caring for them, don't they? You've provided for all their needs, haven't
you?

Their mother, by your account, doesn't seem to have had her act together,
and has been, for whatever reason, out of their lives. Wouldn't it be
nice
if, somehow, she could become a part of their lives again? Whic do you
think is the worst "rip-off? Losing their mother? Or losing the money
she
should have provided? Which would they rather have? Their mother? Or
the
$$$$$?

jefe wrote:

what do you think? they would like to have there old lives back, of course.
I do believe children are better off raised by a mother and a father. Yes
in most cases they can have there need met by just one. It happens all the
time. So you don't see how there getting ripped off???Money is obviously
irrelevant. One parent can NEVER provide what two healthy parents can. My
point was to "bow out" parentally is wrong. If the law say you still must
provide, you should.

Personally, I have no sympathy for a parent who *chooses* to bow out of
their kids' lives. Parents who are chased or muscled out by nutty
ex-spouses are another matter, but those who just abandon... I really
don't care, throw them to the family court hyenas.

Unfortunately I think they are a very small percentage, and it is the
rest of us the family court hyenas are licking their drooling chops over.

- Ron ^*^

bingo

Jefe
"Werebat" wrote in message
news:F6p%d.66094$7z6.59594@lakeread04...


jefe wrote:

what do you think? they would like to have there old lives back, of
course.
I do believe children are better off raised by a mother and a father.
Yes
in most cases they can have there need met by just one. It happens all
the
time. So you don't see how there getting ripped off???Money is
obviously
irrelevant. One parent can NEVER provide what two healthy parents can.
My
point was to "bow out" parentally is wrong. If the law say you still
must
provide, you should.

Personally, I have no sympathy for a parent who *chooses* to bow out of
their kids' lives. Parents who are chased or muscled out by nutty
ex-spouses are another matter, but those who just abandon... I really
don't care, throw them to the family court hyenas.

Unfortunately I think they are a very small percentage, and it is the
rest of us the family court hyenas are licking their drooling chops over.

- Ron ^*^