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#21
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"Chotii" wrote in message ... Were the parents there? Just curious. Unless the parents had specifically told the grandparents they should feel free to spank, that was way out of line. Oh, I don't know. IF the grandparents had spanked their own children AND the parents failed to intervene, knowing perfectly well that the child kicked, THEN I would certainly understand if the grandparents intervened in the way familiar to them, for an offense against their own bodies. Now, you can argue that it's out of line to spank the child, but it's *also* out of line for the parents to ignore a physical assault upon another person, and act like it didn't happen. How is the child to learn anything? If the parents refuse to teach him, then they're going to have to accept that sooner or later, somebody else is going to step in and do it...one way or another. That said, I once got in my niece's face over some roughhousing that hurt me, and my other brothers (not her father) got all over me for 'disciplining someone else's child.' Like I had no right to tell the kid she'd hurt me, and that she was never to do it again? I didn't spank her, I just snapped at her, and I *still* got jumped on, for defending myself. I don't understand this. --angela I don't disagree with you at all, if the parents were there. Otherwise, though, I don't think its ok to assume that its ok to spank someone else's child (unless specifically authorized to do so). I'd be pretty surprised if the parents were there and ignored the kicking. If a child was hurting me or my small children, I'd also feel free to address it verbally. Nancy |
#22
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"Nikki" wrote
My secret weapon for all manner of throwing, hitting, and kicking in the house is one of those balloons that have a rubber band attached that you can punch. They are tougher. It can get pretty annoying but oh my, the energy it can burn Good idea! |
#23
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"Nancy P." wrote Were the parents there? Just curious. Unless the parents had specifically told the grandparents they should feel free to spank, that was way out of line. Yes, they were around, but just watching him kick. Also, the same kid got into a golf cart (at 2.5 years old!! amazing) and turned it on and sped straight for the road (it was in their yard). They didn't do anything to him for that, either---well first of all that was their fault for making it accessible to him and not watching him! This same kid also ran up to his sister and hit her finger that she sprained, knowing it was bandaged up and had a boo boo etc. I don't think they should spank him but I think they should do something-- divert him, time out, or just talk to him. I know nothing about toddlers but it just seems to me like maybe it would be helpful not to let him run free doing all this stuff with no consequences? He is not a brat, just a very very very active kid. I have no idea what would work on him, but probably it would be the removing of things, or taking him away from the scene...I think that would get the point to him, because when he does all this stuff, he doesn't want to go away...he wants to remain where the action is! He is tiring to watch, so energetic and you can barely keep up with him! So while I don't know what tactic would work best it just seems to me like maybe they need to use *some* tactic, instead of ignoring? Now the golf thing was their fault. But their has to be some way to teach him not to go toward the road if he ever does get into something......?? I can barely wait until Rachel is a toddler! But as someone said, surely I would have an instinct and know what is effective with her. |
#24
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"Mary S." wrote You've kind of got to jump straight to
the endgame of consequences, which would hopefully be a last resort if it's your own kid. Mary S. While the boy is just a normal toddler and not a brat etc, I asked DH what he would have done if he had kicked Rachel, or what would have been done if he had kicked the wrong person in the knee, such as his *great*grandfather etc. He said, nothing I guess. I told him I don;t think it;s right to spank but if he kicked Rachel, I'd have to insist that something be done right then. My husband thinks you can see it coming so you can always "not get kicked". And he'll never kick Rachel because we don't put her down too close to toddlers, because that is relatively normal for a toddler to do things like that. |
#25
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"Welches" wrote
Really, if the parents refuse to discipline I don't think (as another relative) you can do much except express displeasure to the parents. If you discipline then the parents may well comfort/give attention to him and then he's got the attention he's probably wanting. Debbie I agree w/ this- I mean, I definitely would not want someone else spanking my child, I'd be upset. I also know I wouldn't want someone else popping off on her either, it would hurt her feelings. I guess I am looking for more tactful ways of handling things but with toddlers it's hard to know what is running through their minds and what they will respond to! |
#26
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"Nancy P." wrote in message ... "Chotii" wrote in message ... Were the parents there? Just curious. Unless the parents had specifically told the grandparents they should feel free to spank, that was way out of line. Oh, I don't know. IF the grandparents had spanked their own children AND the parents failed to intervene, knowing perfectly well that the child kicked, THEN I would certainly understand if the grandparents intervened in the way familiar to them, for an offense against their own bodies. Now, you can argue that it's out of line to spank the child, but it's *also* out of line for the parents to ignore a physical assault upon another person, and act like it didn't happen. How is the child to learn anything? If the parents refuse to teach him, then they're going to have to accept that sooner or later, somebody else is going to step in and do it...one way or another. That said, I once got in my niece's face over some roughhousing that hurt me, and my other brothers (not her father) got all over me for 'disciplining someone else's child.' Like I had no right to tell the kid she'd hurt me, and that she was never to do it again? I didn't spank her, I just snapped at her, and I *still* got jumped on, for defending myself. I don't understand this. I don't disagree with you at all, if the parents were there. Otherwise, though, I don't think its ok to assume that its ok to spank someone else's child (unless specifically authorized to do so). I'd be pretty surprised if the parents were there and ignored the kicking. If a child was hurting me or my small children, I'd also feel free to address it verbally. It's not clear from the OP's post whether the parents were present. She says "...he will just walk up and haul off and kick someone, and his parents do not say or do anything to him? He kicked one of his grandparents, who promptly spanked him, and it made the parents angry at the grand parent." From this, I inferred that the parents *were* there, and simply don't care. But it's well within the grandparent's right to care if he's being kicked! I mean, okay, how much damage can a 2 1/2 year old do? Maybe not much. But how about when he's 5? 7? When *will* the parents begin to teach the kid? And if they won't...? --angela |
#27
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"Chotii" wrote in message That said, I once got in my niece's face over some roughhousing that hurt me, and my other brothers (not her father) got all over me for 'disciplining someone else's child.' Like I had no right to tell the kid she'd hurt me, and that she was never to do it again? I didn't spank her, I just snapped at her, and I *still* got jumped on, for defending myself. I don't understand this. Oh I don't get that. If one of my kids did something to hurt my sister, I'd expect her to correct them. There's also a couple neighbors I'm very close with who know its ok to correct my children if I'm not around, or if I don't see what happened. Denise |
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