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My kid hates going to school!



 
 
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  #1  
Old November 22nd 07, 05:57 AM posted to misc.kids
A father willing to talk!
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Posts: 2
Default My kid hates going to school!

We have a son 5 years old. He has been in school since he was two
years. His first school was a traditional one. Although he has had
good relation with his classmates, he always found it boring.
Everytime we had to drop him off at the school, he threw a big
tantrum. He usually was ahead of his classmates counting number,
reading the alphabet, etc. But he always complained saying that the
school was just boring. He started having fights with other kids.
Finally, the school asked us to take him home because they did not
know what to do with him. Then, we took him to a Montessori school at
the age of 3 years and half. Since he is a very active kid, he did not
get used to the routine. He always wanted to play and do non of the
regular activities in the classroom. After few moths he got used to
work and followed the teacher orders. However, we were asked to take
him to an emotional and intelligence evaluation. He ended up having a
high level of intelligence and a average level of emotional adaptation
to the group. This unbalance seems to create quite a character. He
does his homeworks (math in particular) but he finds boring practicing
writing. He does not obey his teachers' order anymore. He does not
want to work in the classroom. He does not want to take any of the
practice test required by the school. He only works at home. He just
want to stay at home. He loves watch books, computer, TV
documentaries. In particular, about animals and dinosaurus. He always
want to read a book and play with his toys. We are almost tempted to
keep him at home and find a private tutoring. The guy is smart but he
always finds the school just boring. The school is almost to give up
on him. We won't. Sometimes we get angry at him for not cooperating.
But at the same time I do not see the school creating a fun
environment for learning. We do not know what to do. Should we keep
him at home and find a private tutoring or look for another school
with the uncertainty that he does not adapt. We believe that this is
just a matter of time, before he mature emotionally. But in the
meantime we do not know what to do.
  #2  
Old November 26th 07, 07:42 PM posted to misc.kids
toto
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Posts: 784
Default My kid hates going to school!

On Wed, 21 Nov 2007 20:57:08 -0800 (PST), "A father willing to talk!"
wrote:

We have a son 5 years old. He has been in school since he was two
years. His first school was a traditional one.


If the school was academically oriented at 2, this was probably a
mistake. At this age, schools should be play-based. Kids learn by
playing not by doing worksheets in this critical preschool years.

Although he has had good relation with his classmates, he always
found it boring. Everytime we had to drop him off at the school, he
threw a big tantrum.


How did you react to these tantrums?

He usually was ahead of his classmates counting number, reading
the alphabet, etc. But he always complained saying that the
school was just boring.


It may have been boring in terms of the learning academics, but it
should have been fun in terms of the social and emotional skills as
well as the fine and gross motor skills. If it was not, then it is a
good thing that you changed schools.

He started having fights with other kids.


What was he having fights about? How did you react? What did the
school do to discipline him for fighting?

Finally, the school asked us to take him home because they did not
know what to do with him. Then, we took him to a Montessori school at
the age of 3 years and half. Since he is a very active kid, he did not
get used to the routine. He always wanted to play and do non of the
regular activities in the classroom. After few moths he got used to
work and followed the teacher orders.


This does not sound like a traditional Montessori classroom for 3 to 6
year olds. In a traditional Montessori classroom, kids work, but they
are not usually under much teacher direction except for the direct
teaching in how to use the materials. They choose their own materials
from the shelves and use them, then they put back that one and choose
another. It's a quiet environment, but an active one.

However, we were asked to take him to an emotional and intelligence
evaluation. He ended up having a high level of intelligence and a
average level of emotional adaptation to the group. This unbalance
seems to create quite a character.


Unbalance is actually fairly common in gifted children. Read about
asynchronous development he

http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/gifted_101.htm
http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/asynchrony_squared.htm


He does his homeworks (math in particular) but he finds boring practicing
writing.


He may be saying it is boring because his fine motor skills are not
well-developed. Many boys find writing difficult at this age. You
may want to look into Handwriting Without Tears to help him get the
skills he needs.

He does not obey his teachers' order anymore. He does not
want to work in the classroom. He does not want to take any of the
practice test required by the school. He only works at home. He just
want to stay at home. He loves watch books, computer, TV
documentaries. In particular, about animals and dinosaurus. He always
want to read a book and play with his toys. We are almost tempted to
keep him at home and find a private tutoring.


You might find that private tutoring will develop the same issues if
he has to comply with the tutors demands. It might work. Home
schooling might also work with you as his teacher, but you need to
decide if it will create power struggles at home with you or with his
tutors.

The guy is smart but he always finds the school just boring. The
school is almost to give up on him. We won't. Sometimes we get
angry at him for not cooperating.


You need to actively teach cooperation and to model it for him by
cooperating yourselves.

You can teach cooperation using games. There are some great ones
from the past.

You can use things as simple as Ring Around the Rosy which pulls two
or more children together for interaction. Singing games like London
Bridge and The Farmer in the Dell work to teach cooperation as they
don't work if everyone doesn't cooperate in the play. You can use
games with rules that focus on the importance of the method, like
Chutes and Ladders or Monopoly (these teach taking turns, following
directions, etc.). Card games teach patience. You can use role
playing to teach empathy. This can involve any number of fantasy
scenarios. You can use puppets or dolls or stuffed animals to role
play as well. These kinds of play allow children to try out scenarios
and roles and to control their own impulses. Strategy games can be
used to build competence and cooperation too if you use teams.

But at the same time I do not see the school creating a fun
environment for learning. We do not know what to do. Should we keep
him at home and find a private tutoring or look for another school
with the uncertainty that he does not adapt. We believe that this is
just a matter of time, before he mature emotionally. But in the
meantime we do not know what to do.


It sounds like the Montessori School is not working well for him.
What other options do you have?


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits
  #3  
Old November 27th 07, 04:51 AM posted to misc.kids
joni
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Posts: 27
Default My kid hates going to school!

I would bet 10 to 1 that the term 'bored or boring' label came from
you the parent and not the child - he certainly latched onto it as you
use it as an excuse for his bad behavior/lack of social skills! A two
to five year old isnt 'bored' when he cannot listen to directions,
obey the teacher, and socialize with his classmates without fighting.
In todays classrooms, there are many kids who excel at the first
numbers/reading etc so dont think like he is leaving the other kids in
the dust by his 'brightness'. Every parent likes to think their child
is so much brighter but trust me, get over it or you will be making
excuses for him his whole life.
You say he is quite an active kid, quite a 'character', and this makes
me think he does need to be evaluated for learning/behavior problems.
Some very bright children have problems with writing (they arent
'bored' - they just arent brain wired to do it) and this is probably
why he refuses to take tests.
Do you do homework with him at home? It seems you let him do only the
things he likes to do, not what he perhaps should be doing (like
practicing writing).
Btw, have you ever sat in on a class of your childs? Many schools have
parents help out or sit-in to see just what goes on. This might
dispell your thoughts that the class isnt as entertaining or advanced
for his needs. You might get an eye opener that your child may be
bright, but its going to waste if he cant interact with others.
(so homeschooling would not be in his best interests at this time).


joanne
  #4  
Old November 27th 07, 06:07 AM posted to misc.kids
Beliavsky
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Posts: 453
Default My kid hates going to school!

On Nov 26, 10:51 pm, joni wrote:
I would bet 10 to 1 that the term 'bored or boring' label came from
you the parent and not the child - he certainly latched onto it as you
use it as an excuse for his bad behavior/lack of social skills! A two
to five year old isnt 'bored' when he cannot listen to directions,
obey the teacher, and socialize with his classmates without fighting.
In todays classrooms, there are many kids who excel at the first
numbers/reading etc so dont think like he is leaving the other kids in
the dust by his 'brightness'. Every parent likes to think their child
is so much brighter but trust me, get over it or you will be making
excuses for him his whole life.


If a parent thinks a child is misbehaving because he is gifted, I
think it is better to test the child than to dismiss the parent's
belief out of hand -- or to accept it uncritically. Books on gifted
children do report cases
where misbehavior subsided when children were taught at a higher
level.
  #5  
Old November 28th 07, 02:59 PM posted to misc.kids
Citcom
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Posts: 16
Default My kid hates going to school!

"joni" wrote in message
...
(so homeschooling would not be in his best interests at this time).


joanne



Since homeschooling does not mean never interacting with his peers I
wouldn't dismiss it completely. Actually, I'd seriously look into it. He
*does* need the peer interaction but most places have homeschool groups
where he can participate in field trips, activity days, clubs, etc. and get
that, there's also county sponsored sports, scouting, church, etc.. With
the homeschooling you can teach him at his level and speed (slower
sometimes, faster others). Also, homeschooling a 5 year old only takes
about 1 hour a day.
--
L. Miller
My Homeeschool Space www.myhomeschoolplace.com/Hogwartsacademy/
Usborne Books Representative )
Transylvania Data Recovery Services - when your computer is junk but your
data )
Nutronix - http://nutronix.com/jwhomeschoolmom
Berry Tree - http://www.MyBerryTree.com/bt36911
Automatic Builder - http://automaticbuilder.com/jwhomeschoolmom
Silver Solutions - http://www.automaticbuilder.com/jwhomeschoolmom/silver

  #6  
Old November 28th 07, 03:18 PM posted to misc.kids
Beliavsky
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Posts: 453
Default My kid hates going to school!

On Nov 28, 8:59 am, "Citcom" wrote:
"joni" wrote in message

...

(so homeschooling would not be in his best interests at this time).


joanne


Since homeschooling does not mean never interacting with his peers I
wouldn't dismiss it completely.


I have lurked on some homeschooling forums and noticed that
homeschoolers tend to have lots of kids. The median seems to be 3. I
don't think kids need to interact primarily with kids within one year
of their age -- siblings a few years apart can serve just as well. I'm
not intending to homeschool, but with kids of age 1, 2.5, and 4.5, I
would not worry about "peer groups" if I did.
  #7  
Old November 28th 07, 05:16 PM posted to misc.kids
toypup
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Posts: 1,227
Default My kid hates going to school!

On Wed, 28 Nov 2007 06:18:21 -0800 (PST), Beliavsky wrote:

On Nov 28, 8:59 am, "Citcom" wrote:
"joni" wrote in message

...

(so homeschooling would not be in his best interests at this time).


joanne


Since homeschooling does not mean never interacting with his peers I
wouldn't dismiss it completely.


I have lurked on some homeschooling forums and noticed that
homeschoolers tend to have lots of kids. The median seems to be 3. I
don't think kids need to interact primarily with kids within one year
of their age -- siblings a few years apart can serve just as well. I'm
not intending to homeschool, but with kids of age 1, 2.5, and 4.5, I
would not worry about "peer groups" if I did.


I think the dynamics between siblings is much different from that with
other kids. It does help when kids have siblings, but it's just not the
same.

There are also such situations such as dealing with new kids, kids they
don't like, choosing which kids to make friends with, how to handle group
dynamics, politics, etc. Those situations can't be duplicated at home.
  #8  
Old November 29th 07, 05:02 AM posted to misc.kids
Marie
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Posts: 181
Default My kid hates going to school!

On Wed, 28 Nov 2007 16:16:41 GMT, toypup wrote:

I think the dynamics between siblings is much different from that with
other kids. It does help when kids have siblings, but it's just not the
same.


It definately is different. I have 3 kids, and they interact totally
different with each other than with their friends. I don't actually
consider their relationships with each other to be "socialization".
I'm sure many of you would understand that /

There are also such situations such as dealing with new kids, kids they
don't like, choosing which kids to make friends with, how to handle group
dynamics, politics, etc. Those situations can't be duplicated at home.


Yes, that's why we have homeschool groups, dance classes, sports, and
the list goes on... My middle daughter is somehow very unlike me
socially and is the "chosen one" within all her groups of friends. She
has had to deal with so much jealousy and petty arguments from certain
other girls. On the other hand, she picks right up with any new-comers
and they are "old friends" by the end of the day/class. My oldest
child has always had more of a problem with shyness, but now at age 12
she seems to be coming out of that, which is great. My shyness
tormented me until these past few years. My intention with my kids
regarding interactions with peer groups is to let them grow in their
own time, and not be forced into social situations they aren't ready
for. And it is working for us- here is my 12 year old blooming into a
more social young lady(and she did have several friends, the problem
was getting to know new people and that's what she's overcoming) I
have actually met a few homeschooling families who do NOT have any
groups, or classes, or anything at all for their kids to go to(besides
church). That is very abnormal and detrimental. Kids in those families
seem really...warped, and weird. I think it's important for children
to know many different ways of life, and many other families. It helps
them develop their own personalities and be exposed to so much more
than if strictly molded by mommy/daddy.
Marie
  #9  
Old November 29th 07, 06:55 AM posted to misc.kids
toto
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Posts: 784
Default My kid hates going to school!

On Wed, 28 Nov 2007 16:16:41 GMT, toypup wrote:

On Wed, 28 Nov 2007 06:18:21 -0800 (PST), Beliavsky wrote:

On Nov 28, 8:59 am, "Citcom" wrote:
"joni" wrote in message

...

(so homeschooling would not be in his best interests at this time).

joanne

Since homeschooling does not mean never interacting with his peers I
wouldn't dismiss it completely.


I have lurked on some homeschooling forums and noticed that
homeschoolers tend to have lots of kids. The median seems to be 3. I
don't think kids need to interact primarily with kids within one year
of their age -- siblings a few years apart can serve just as well. I'm
not intending to homeschool, but with kids of age 1, 2.5, and 4.5, I
would not worry about "peer groups" if I did.


I think the dynamics between siblings is much different from that with
other kids. It does help when kids have siblings, but it's just not the
same.

Homeschoolers do NOT only socialize with their siblings. Most
homeschoolers participate in scouts, in dance, art and music classes
and in sports. Many homeschoolers participate in homeschool groups
that go on field trips together or have activities together at other
times. Many homeschoolers participate in church groups. It's a
fallacy to think that kids who are homeschooled don't get to
socialize.

Many homeschoolers are socially more mature because they are not
placed in groups with only a single age. When I grew up it was common
for children to play with kids of many ages in the neighborhood. This
is less common today and I think kids are the poorer for it. This
does not generally happen in school at all unless you go to a
Montessori school or other school where ages are combined.

There are also such situations such as dealing with new kids, kids they
don't like, choosing which kids to make friends with, how to handle group
dynamics, politics, etc. Those situations can't be duplicated at home.


No, but they are duplicated within many other activities the kids do.


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits
  #10  
Old November 29th 07, 08:54 AM posted to misc.kids
toypup
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Posts: 1,227
Default My kid hates going to school!

On Thu, 29 Nov 2007 05:55:36 GMT, toto wrote:

On Wed, 28 Nov 2007 16:16:41 GMT, toypup wrote:

On Wed, 28 Nov 2007 06:18:21 -0800 (PST), Beliavsky wrote:

On Nov 28, 8:59 am, "Citcom" wrote:


I have lurked on some homeschooling forums and noticed that
homeschoolers tend to have lots of kids. The median seems to be 3. I
don't think kids need to interact primarily with kids within one year
of their age -- siblings a few years apart can serve just as well. I'm
not intending to homeschool, but with kids of age 1, 2.5, and 4.5, I
would not worry about "peer groups" if I did.


I think the dynamics between siblings is much different from that with
other kids. It does help when kids have siblings, but it's just not the
same.

Homeschoolers do NOT only socialize with their siblings.


I never said that was the case. I was replying to the statement "I'm not
intending to homeschool, but with kids of age 1, 2.5, and 4.5, I would not
worry about "peer groups" if I did."
 




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