If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
#11
|
|||
|
|||
GRANDPARENTS
"'Kate" wrote in message ... On Sun, 11 Jul 2004 20:56:45 -0400, "Tiffany" "Stink" wrote in message . 254... -----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE----- Hash: SHA1 On Sun 11 Jul 2004 06:29:41p "Nick" Composed news alt.support.single-parents SNIP "WE" parents have made it just too easy for you young folks to just go out and mess around and not think about what can happen... YOU made it easy for YOUR daughter, I didn't. SNIP.... forget the moral rules we once had... BTW, my grandbaby is also bi-racial.. but we won't go there... The moral rules YOU should have instilled in YOUR daughter. So its immoral to have a bi-racial child. ???? I do however believe there is no such thing as a ******* child, so please don't attack me... let's just teach our girls how to hold a penny between their legs and never drop it.. Again, YOU should have taught YOUR daughter to keep her legs closed and told her to date within her own race if that concerned you. Thats your screw-up. I don't want to share the blame in YOUR lack of parenting skills. Me either. I think placing blame on the parents in out of line to begin with. The best of parents end up with 'bad' children. Blaming parents for our sins is a big copout! T In this guy's case... he's probably right. It must be that he didn't teach his daughters about morality and virtue. Can you imagine being 30 years old and living with your parents? 'Kate When I was 33 my parents move in with me for about 6 months....it was hell....... |
#12
|
|||
|
|||
GRANDPARENTS
"Nick" wrote in message news I just have to jump in and say, the ones that end up raising these single parent kids are the Grandparents... I'm a Grandpa.... divorced over 10 years, yet my daughter and her daughter still live with me (30 and 6 now) and when she can, her (grand) mother takes the "baby" to give me a break too... "WE" parents have made it just too easy for you young folks to just go out and mess around and not think about what can happen... 'YOU" parents maybe.....certainly not ME. You sound like quite the enabler. It's funny as you get older, you're views change... I was as wild as they came, yet now, I think that it once being a complete embarrassment to be in certain situations was a helpful thing... having kids and not being married means nothing anymore, Yeah.......bet you loved to call kids "*******s" It was so much better then.................... along with being gay.. all this stuff was better left in the closet, free hint for the clueless.........gays have been around forever.......their 'acceptance' has been a rollercoaster ride throughout history, from total acceptance to being put to death. and stopped many people from crossing over... but with it being so accepted, I may as well screw men and women and just make babies.... If that is what make you happy. forget the moral rules we once had... BTW, my grandbaby is also bi-racial.. Another hint to the clueless.....almost everyone in the world is of "mixed" race........ but we won't go there... I do however believe there is no such thing as a ******* child, so please don't attack me... let's just teach our girls how to hold a penny between their legs and never drop it.. I pity any child brought up under your influence. -- http://www.911Date.us --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.717 / Virus Database: 473 - Release Date: 7/8/2004 |
#13
|
|||
|
|||
GRANDPARENTS
"Paul Griffiths" wrote in message "Cele" wrote in message , 'Kate wrote: snip In this guy's case... he's probably right. It must be that he didn't teach his daughters about morality and virtue. Can you imagine being 30 years old and living with your parents? Ahem. I'm 45 and I live with my parents. But that's just *this* year. Although I'm thinking about moving out before too much longer.... There's no rush though. You should take your time, fine a nice guy, make a home together and then settle down and raise a family. :-)) And make sure you hold a penny between your knees in the mean time ;-) Dennis |
#14
|
|||
|
|||
GRANDPARENTS
On Mon, 12 Jul 2004 10:51:01 +0100, "Paul Griffiths"
wrote: "Cele" wrote in message .. . On Mon, 12 Jul 2004 04:11:47 GMT, 'Kate wrote: snip In this guy's case... he's probably right. It must be that he didn't teach his daughters about morality and virtue. Can you imagine being 30 years old and living with your parents? Ahem. I'm 45 and I live with my parents. But that's just *this* year. Although I'm thinking about moving out before too much longer.... There's no rush though. You should take your time, fine a nice guy, make a home together and then settle down and raise a family. :-)) Oh God help me. The next family I raise will be in another lifetime. I'm 45. I'm SO not having more kids! Cele |
#15
|
|||
|
|||
GRANDPARENTS
On Mon, 12 Jul 2004 19:01:46 GMT, 'Kate
wrote: On Mon, 12 Jul 2004 06:54:24 GMT, Cele On Mon, 12 Jul 2004 04:11:47 GMT, 'Kate wrote: On Sun, 11 Jul 2004 20:56:45 -0400, "Tiffany" "Stink" wrote in message .5.254... -----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE----- Hash: SHA1 On Sun 11 Jul 2004 06:29:41p "Nick" Composed news alt.support.single-parents SNIP "WE" parents have made it just too easy for you young folks to just go out and mess around and not think about what can happen... YOU made it easy for YOUR daughter, I didn't. SNIP.... forget the moral rules we once had... BTW, my grandbaby is also bi-racial.. but we won't go there... The moral rules YOU should have instilled in YOUR daughter. So its immoral to have a bi-racial child. ???? I do however believe there is no such thing as a ******* child, so please don't attack me... let's just teach our girls how to hold a penny between their legs and never drop it.. Again, YOU should have taught YOUR daughter to keep her legs closed and told her to date within her own race if that concerned you. Thats your screw-up. I don't want to share the blame in YOUR lack of parenting skills. Me either. I think placing blame on the parents in out of line to begin with. The best of parents end up with 'bad' children. Blaming parents for our sins is a big copout! T In this guy's case... he's probably right. It must be that he didn't teach his daughters about morality and virtue. Can you imagine being 30 years old and living with your parents? Ahem. I'm 45 and I live with my parents. Although I'm thinking about moving out before too much longer.... Cele The difference is just that... your desire isn't to avoid responsibility. It is economic. You aren't, then, using your parents as the "grandfather" in the post implies that his daughter is using him... because she has never taken responsibility. There are some situations in which being able to accept help is healthy. Using it to avoid accepting responsibility is not. I should have clarified what I meant. My bad. 'Kate No drama. Sometimes, though, I guess we don't know the whole story. Could be bad things happened to his daughter that *he* doesn't recognise as legitimate reasons for need.... Who knows? Not me, that's for sure. I can barely remember my name today. Cele |
#16
|
|||
|
|||
GRANDPARENTS
"Nick" wrote in message news I just have to jump in and say, the ones that end up raising these single parent kids are the Grandparents... I'm a Grandpa.... divorced over 10 years, yet my daughter and her daughter still live with me (30 and 6 now) and when she can, her (grand) mother takes the "baby" to give me a break too... "WE" parents have made it just too easy for you young folks to just go out and mess around and not think about what can happen... It's funny as you get older, you're views change... I was as wild as they came, yet now, I think that it once being a complete embarrassment to be in certain situations was a helpful thing... having kids and not being married means nothing anymore, along with being gay.. all this stuff was better left in the closet, and stopped many people from crossing over... but with it being so accepted, I may as well screw men and women and just make babies.... forget the moral rules we once had... BTW, my grandbaby is also bi-racial.. but we won't go there... I do however believe there is no such thing as a ******* child, so please don't attack me... let's just teach our girls how to hold a penny between their legs and never drop it.. -- http://www.911Date.us What about teaching boys to be responsible too? You sound like you are just bored and are about the age of 19...out of school for the summer..... Trolling about newsgroups. Why do you not get a summer job? V |
#17
|
|||
|
|||
It sounds like you need to set some rules when it comes to your daughter.
You need to let her know that you are down raising children of your own and that it is her time to take care of her daughter. You have made it to easy for your daughter to go messing around. By the way, you can not say that all parents made the same mistakes that you have made with your daughter. There are a lot of struggling single parents out there who take responsibility of raising their children without having some one like you to go around and blame them for the mistakes you have made. "Nick" wrote in message news I just have to jump in and say, the ones that end up raising these single parent kids are the Grandparents... I'm a Grandpa.... divorced over 10 years, yet my daughter and her daughter still live with me (30 and 6 now) and when she can, her (grand) mother takes the "baby" to give me a break too... "WE" parents have made it just too easy for you young folks to just go out and mess around and not think about what can happen... It's funny as you get older, you're views change... I was as wild as they came, yet now, I think that it once being a complete embarrassment to be in certain situations was a helpful thing... having kids and not being married means nothing anymore, along with being gay.. all this stuff was better left in the closet, and stopped many people from crossing over... but with it being so accepted, I may as well screw men and women and just make babies.... forget the moral rules we once had... BTW, my grandbaby is also bi-racial.. but we won't go there... I do however believe there is no such thing as a ******* child, so please don't attack me... let's just teach our girls how to hold a penny between their legs and never drop it.. -- http://www.911Date.us --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.717 / Virus Database: 473 - Release Date: 7/8/2004 |
#18
|
|||
|
|||
First, I want to apologize to everyone here if You get offended by what I'm
about to say. Because I'm so new to this group and I like to generally lurk first so I can get an idea for who the trolls are and who is genuine and so I can just go over the FAQ's, not to mention the fact that I"m piggybacking to a response to the orginal poster. I have a lot to say on this particular situation and again, I hope I don't offend too many here. You know, I only got the original of this post because if your reply. And my only response to this man is this: We did not necessarily ask to become single parents. I became a single parent because of the abuse I endured with my exhusband. While I don't necessarily agree with teenagers being sexually active before they're 18, I do believe that it's the culture in which we live. Moral Values? Come on! The damned government *tells* us how to "discipline" our children! They want us to screw around with the ol' "now Jonny, that wasn't a very nice thing to do to Susie. Tell her you're sorry for throwing the cat on her!" Man, I tell ya what, I don't believe in physical discipline for every little infraction but believe you me, I do believe that physical discipline has its place! I try behavior modification as often as I possibly can (which means all the time!) and you know, you sound like my parents... "I'm not raising your kids, you do it! I've raised my own! Look how you turned out!" Know what I tell them (especially my father) when he pulls this crap with me, I say, "yes, look at how I turned out. I'm a single parent, I have a disabled child, I work my ass off to make ends meet, I never have time for me. Even 1 hour to go to the gym, but do you hear me complain? I can't afford to complain! I have kids I need to raise and I'm gonna raise them, All I want is for you to be a *grandparent* and take the kids for a couple of hours!!" This was when I lived closer. We live 2 states away from each other and They always want me to travel... with 3 kids! Now, I consider myself a "single parent" to my son! My current boyfriend, or you could call him my significant other, and I have been together for 7 years! I don't want to get married because of the abuse of my ex! That ring was nothing more than a collar and leash for that jerk! I was his property and you know, I'm no one's property!!! My SO became daddy 7 years ago because he knew I was a packaged deal. He has no problems with it. The only problem he has is the feelings of helplessness when my child goes into one of his rages (part of his disability) and becomes hard to handle. To be honest, 2 people don't have to be married to be partners... To be partners means that it's a team effort, especially where our kids are concerned! My partner and I do quite well in spite of any hardship we may be faced with, so to sit there and say that we're making the same mistakes you did is just plain gutless and cowardly! Back then, single parents were shunned from society! The only reason a mother was "allowed" to be a single mom was if her husband died. Well, let me give you a newsflash! Many parents (not just moms but dads too) have different reasons for becoming single parents. It has nothing to do with moral values or lack thereof. What it has to do is with the increased rate of child abuse, the increased rate of spousal abuse, the increased pressure for there to be 2 incomes, the increased pressure for parents to first establish their careers before starting a family... The fact that many times, a couple tries so hard to have a family only to find out that there are fertility problems, the fertility gets treated and conception comes but by that time, it's sometimes too late for the relationship! So you want to talk about mistakes? Before you judge us, make sure that you're completely flawless! It's a much harder society nowadays on relationships! Where's the time for romance, courtship and establishing a good history before making the plunge into the depths of what could be marital hell (like in my situation!) Keep in mind that above when I mentioned child abuse, That means that like in my case, I was emotionally abused so bad by my father that I had 2 choices, go into the military or get married. My first choice was military. I failed a crucial part of the physical. Plan B was marriage. What a MISTAKE!! (not meant as a shout, just emphasis!) The issue with your daughter going out and messing around... Well, you can't necessarily blame her 100%. You're as much to blame because *you let her* go out and mess around! I don't care if she's 30... She's living under *your* roof! She should abide by *your rules* and *you* should enforce *your rules* and not make it so "easy for her to go and mess around!" It's not all of our faults that you have problems with your daughter's irresponsibility. And it's not all of our faults that you feel that those of us who became single parents (mostly through no fault of our own) did so with the intention of being put in our situation for the "fun" of it! The comment about the penny was rude, sexist and simply tasteless! It certainly shows a lack of class and couth. Needless to say, I'm grateful that *my* grandfather has *never* said anything as derrogatory and demeaning to me! I'm doubly grateful that my own father has never said anything as ugly as your comment about the penny to me! I'm sure that many, if not all here would agree that we as single parents try to be as responsible as we possibly can under the types of pressures out there in the real world! That we didn't necessarily ask for this situation but instead of going out and leaving our kids to fend for themselves, we're trying to do the responsible thing by going to work, getting an education, looking out for the best interest of our kids in spite of being purely exhausted and drained emotionally, mentally and physically! When I gave birth to my eldest, I made a promise to be in it for the long haul! Good, bad, thick and thin.... I"m doing the best I can! Anyway, Sorry this got long. BiG snip |
#19
|
|||
|
|||
not to mention the fact that I"m piggybacking
to a response to the orginal poster. Well actually you are responding to a troll....which you would know if you really have lurked and read the FAQ anyway what you say is all very interesting and yada yada yada but I'd just like to point one thing out to you.... . To be honest, 2 people don't have to be married to be partner I hope you realize that because you haven't bothered to marry your so-called partner - if you die, your kid who has become attached to him will likely be sent off to his father who you claim was abusive. Seems to me, for the sake of your kid alone you would provide him with some legal protection...despite your misgivings about marraige, which have nothing to do with marraige but are all about the bad choices you made. Joelle The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine Joelle |
#20
|
|||
|
|||
You go girl!
-- Blessings, Jennifer "Corabear" Kulp Science without religion is lame, religion without science is lind. --Albert Einstein "slykitten" wrote in message ... First, I want to apologize to everyone here if You get offended by what I'm about to say. Because I'm so new to this group and I like to generally lurk first so I can get an idea for who the trolls are and who is genuine and so I can just go over the FAQ's, not to mention the fact that I"m piggybacking to a response to the orginal poster. I have a lot to say on this particular situation and again, I hope I don't offend too many here. You know, I only got the original of this post because if your reply. And my only response to this man is this: We did not necessarily ask to become single parents. I became a single parent because of the abuse I endured with my exhusband. While I don't necessarily agree with teenagers being sexually active before they're 18, I do believe that it's the culture in which we live. Moral Values? Come on! The damned government *tells* us how to "discipline" our children! They want us to screw around with the ol' "now Jonny, that wasn't a very nice thing to do to Susie. Tell her you're sorry for throwing the cat on her!" Man, I tell ya what, I don't believe in physical discipline for every little infraction but believe you me, I do believe that physical discipline has its place! I try behavior modification as often as I possibly can (which means all the time!) and you know, you sound like my parents... "I'm not raising your kids, you do it! I've raised my own! Look how you turned out!" Know what I tell them (especially my father) when he pulls this crap with me, I say, "yes, look at how I turned out. I'm a single parent, I have a disabled child, I work my ass off to make ends meet, I never have time for me. Even 1 hour to go to the gym, but do you hear me complain? I can't afford to complain! I have kids I need to raise and I'm gonna raise them, All I want is for you to be a *grandparent* and take the kids for a couple of hours!!" This was when I lived closer. We live 2 states away from each other and They always want me to travel... with 3 kids! Now, I consider myself a "single parent" to my son! My current boyfriend, or you could call him my significant other, and I have been together for 7 years! I don't want to get married because of the abuse of my ex! That ring was nothing more than a collar and leash for that jerk! I was his property and you know, I'm no one's property!!! My SO became daddy 7 years ago because he knew I was a packaged deal. He has no problems with it. The only problem he has is the feelings of helplessness when my child goes into one of his rages (part of his disability) and becomes hard to handle. To be honest, 2 people don't have to be married to be partners... To be partners means that it's a team effort, especially where our kids are concerned! My partner and I do quite well in spite of any hardship we may be faced with, so to sit there and say that we're making the same mistakes you did is just plain gutless and cowardly! Back then, single parents were shunned from society! The only reason a mother was "allowed" to be a single mom was if her husband died. Well, let me give you a newsflash! Many parents (not just moms but dads too) have different reasons for becoming single parents. It has nothing to do with moral values or lack thereof. What it has to do is with the increased rate of child abuse, the increased rate of spousal abuse, the increased pressure for there to be 2 incomes, the increased pressure for parents to first establish their careers before starting a family... The fact that many times, a couple tries so hard to have a family only to find out that there are fertility problems, the fertility gets treated and conception comes but by that time, it's sometimes too late for the relationship! So you want to talk about mistakes? Before you judge us, make sure that you're completely flawless! It's a much harder society nowadays on relationships! Where's the time for romance, courtship and establishing a good history before making the plunge into the depths of what could be marital hell (like in my situation!) Keep in mind that above when I mentioned child abuse, That means that like in my case, I was emotionally abused so bad by my father that I had 2 choices, go into the military or get married. My first choice was military. I failed a crucial part of the physical. Plan B was marriage. What a MISTAKE!! (not meant as a shout, just emphasis!) The issue with your daughter going out and messing around... Well, you can't necessarily blame her 100%. You're as much to blame because *you let her* go out and mess around! I don't care if she's 30... She's living under *your* roof! She should abide by *your rules* and *you* should enforce *your rules* and not make it so "easy for her to go and mess around!" It's not all of our faults that you have problems with your daughter's irresponsibility. And it's not all of our faults that you feel that those of us who became single parents (mostly through no fault of our own) did so with the intention of being put in our situation for the "fun" of it! The comment about the penny was rude, sexist and simply tasteless! It certainly shows a lack of class and couth. Needless to say, I'm grateful that *my* grandfather has *never* said anything as derrogatory and demeaning to me! I'm doubly grateful that my own father has never said anything as ugly as your comment about the penny to me! I'm sure that many, if not all here would agree that we as single parents try to be as responsible as we possibly can under the types of pressures out there in the real world! That we didn't necessarily ask for this situation but instead of going out and leaving our kids to fend for themselves, we're trying to do the responsible thing by going to work, getting an education, looking out for the best interest of our kids in spite of being purely exhausted and drained emotionally, mentally and physically! When I gave birth to my eldest, I made a promise to be in it for the long haul! Good, bad, thick and thin.... I"m doing the best I can! Anyway, Sorry this got long. BiG snip |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Journalist looking for stories about how kids connect to grandparents | Tish Davidson | General (moderated) | 2 | September 28th 03 09:28 PM |
Grandparents visiting | Tish Davidson | General | 6 | September 22nd 03 05:38 AM |
Journalist looking for stories about how kids connect to grandparents | Tish Davidson | General | 0 | September 19th 03 04:39 AM |