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  #11  
Old October 1st 04, 03:11 PM
Lisa
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"lm" wrote in message
...
On Thu, 30 Sep 2004 14:25:57 -0400, "Tiffany"
wrote:

So my downstairs neighbor seems to be having issues. There is a little

boy
(1st grader), the mother who is deaf (I don't know if its completely or

not)
and who I think to be just the boyfriend, not the real father or husband.

We have over heard the BF yelling at the little boy, calling him sissy

boy
and other not so nice things while trying to teach him to catch a
football.... throwing the football at the kid pretty hard, in order to

teach
him to be tough. Yeah, we hate this guy. I wonder if Mom even knows how

bad
he is being to this boy, is she can't hear what goes on. The mom, I would
say appears to be sad and depressed. It must be tough for her. We haven't
really been able to talk until last week when my daughter had our pet
hamster outside and the neighbor mom brought out her hamster too. We

still
didn't get talk/write but I was able to see how mom and son interacted.

Son
is taking on BF's behavior without a doubt.

Last night major yelling was going on, we could hear it since the windows
were open. The yelling of course is one sided..... he was yelling at the
mom. So I wonder if she is not completely deaf, because why would the
asshole bother to yell then? So maybe he has to yell for her to hear him,
though they can be seen signing. After yelling at Mom, I suppose it

turned
to the boy who was told he was bad, was not to come out of his room even

to
pee, was not allowed to play outside because he couldn't listen...... I

type
it here and it may not sound so bad but it wasn't put so nicely and he

was
yelling. This was loud enough that other neighbors were

watching/listening.
They were in a position they could see in, maybe watching to make sure he
wasn't hitting anyone.

Would it do any good to call the authorities, as yelling probably isn't a
crime? I should note that the boy has no hearing issues, so this BF

doesn't
need to yell at him. What would you all do? (I would love to kick this

guy
down real hard....... my daughter wants to also.)


Please interfere. Please talk to the wife when he's not around. Please
make the child welcome. Please call the authorities.

lm


Sorry Tiff, I'm of the mind your own business but keep your kids away camp.
Of course, this is with the disclaimer that imminent danger would require a
very quick 911 call.

We have neighbours across the street, we call them "The Gruesomes".
He's a total asshole and holds nothing back when he yells at his daughters,
or wife, in the house and out. Unfortunately, we can't pick who buys
houses around here.

If you rent, you can complain to the landlord about noise, but as far as
intruding into their personal lives (fights), stay out of it.

Lisa

  #12  
Old October 1st 04, 05:10 PM
CME
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"lm" wrote in message
...
On Fri, 01 Oct 2004 03:37:41 GMT, "CME"
wrote:


"slykitten" wrote in message
...
I honestly don't know what I would do. See, my exhusband was deaf but
that
didn't stop him from trying to stab me or pull a gun on me... it didn't
stop him from sexually assaulting me or throwing things at me. My
neighbor
was also kinda in your shoes because she'd hear me scream hysterically
at
my
ex to put down the knife he was holding or whatever and she would call
the
cops.... only, she'd remain anonomyous. Since there is a child involved,
I'd
recommend that you do notify the authorities but ask that you remain
anonomyous. This way that abusive SOB doesn't direct his nastiness
towards
you... it could have come from any one of the other neighbors... but
only
the one who made the call would know who it truly was. does that make
sense?
I hope this helps....

--
"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery


No offence but you frequently bring up your past abuse. We've all been
through tough situations, I just question why you feel the need to let
everyone else know. I'm not talking about the abuse in general but the
specifics you seem to present quite frequently in your posts. I don't
know,
maybe it's just me but I find that odd.


You've got to be kidding me. Why don't we just skip the actual
sentences and use a multiple-choice format so everyone posts the same
way.

lm


No I'm just asking why she feels the need to revel in victim mode. I find
full disclosure to a bunch of strangers odd, when this isn't an abuse forum.
It's like sitting on the bus and someone starts telling me their life story
because I asked them how they were.

Christine


  #13  
Old October 1st 04, 05:13 PM
CME
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"Lisa" wrote in message
...

"CME" wrote in message
news:9i47d.965$j24.459@clgrps12...

"slykitten" wrote in message
...
I honestly don't know what I would do. See, my exhusband was deaf but

that
didn't stop him from trying to stab me or pull a gun on me... it
didn't
stop him from sexually assaulting me or throwing things at me. My

neighbor
was also kinda in your shoes because she'd hear me scream hysterically

at
my
ex to put down the knife he was holding or whatever and she would call

the
cops.... only, she'd remain anonomyous. Since there is a child
involved,
I'd
recommend that you do notify the authorities but ask that you remain
anonomyous. This way that abusive SOB doesn't direct his nastiness

towards
you... it could have come from any one of the other neighbors... but

only
the one who made the call would know who it truly was. does that make
sense?
I hope this helps....

--
"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery


No offence but you frequently bring up your past abuse. We've all been
through tough situations, I just question why you feel the need to let
everyone else know. I'm not talking about the abuse in general but the
specifics you seem to present quite frequently in your posts. I don't

know,
maybe it's just me but I find that odd.

Christine



Oh fer $$$ sakes Christine, can this girl not post without you following
up
with the above nonsense? Just move along to the next post or ignore her
entirely.

Lisa


I've ignored it for a few weeks and slamming her ex for whatever he's done
has no place here. Read the FAQ.

Christine


  #14  
Old October 1st 04, 05:28 PM
lm
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

On Fri, 01 Oct 2004 16:10:14 GMT, "CME"
wrote:


"lm" wrote in message
.. .
On Fri, 01 Oct 2004 03:37:41 GMT, "CME"
wrote:


"slykitten" wrote in message
...
I honestly don't know what I would do. See, my exhusband was deaf but
that
didn't stop him from trying to stab me or pull a gun on me... it didn't
stop him from sexually assaulting me or throwing things at me. My
neighbor
was also kinda in your shoes because she'd hear me scream hysterically
at
my
ex to put down the knife he was holding or whatever and she would call
the
cops.... only, she'd remain anonomyous. Since there is a child involved,
I'd
recommend that you do notify the authorities but ask that you remain
anonomyous. This way that abusive SOB doesn't direct his nastiness
towards
you... it could have come from any one of the other neighbors... but
only
the one who made the call would know who it truly was. does that make
sense?
I hope this helps....

--
"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

No offence but you frequently bring up your past abuse. We've all been
through tough situations, I just question why you feel the need to let
everyone else know. I'm not talking about the abuse in general but the
specifics you seem to present quite frequently in your posts. I don't
know,
maybe it's just me but I find that odd.


You've got to be kidding me. Why don't we just skip the actual
sentences and use a multiple-choice format so everyone posts the same
way.

lm


No I'm just asking why she feels the need to revel in victim mode. I find
full disclosure to a bunch of strangers odd, when this isn't an abuse forum.
It's like sitting on the bus and someone starts telling me their life story
because I asked them how they were.


It's nothing like that. It was related to the OP, whereas your
comments aren't.

I find it odd how rarely parenting is discussed on this forum.

lm
  #15  
Old October 1st 04, 09:55 PM
Karen O'Mara
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

"Tiffany" wrote in message ...
So my downstairs neighbor seems to be having issues. There is a little boy
(1st grader), the mother who is deaf (I don't know if its completely or not)
and who I think to be just the boyfriend, not the real father or husband.

We have over heard the BF yelling at the little boy, calling him sissy boy
and other not so nice things while trying to teach him to catch a
football.... throwing the football at the kid pretty hard, in order to teach
him to be tough. Yeah, we hate this guy. I wonder if Mom even knows how bad
he is being to this boy, is she can't hear what goes on. The mom, I would
say appears to be sad and depressed. It must be tough for her. We haven't
really been able to talk until last week when my daughter had our pet
hamster outside and the neighbor mom brought out her hamster too. We still
didn't get talk/write but I was able to see how mom and son interacted. Son
is taking on BF's behavior without a doubt.

Last night major yelling was going on, we could hear it since the windows
were open. The yelling of course is one sided..... he was yelling at the
mom. So I wonder if she is not completely deaf, because why would the
asshole bother to yell then? So maybe he has to yell for her to hear him,
though they can be seen signing. After yelling at Mom, I suppose it turned
to the boy who was told he was bad, was not to come out of his room even to
pee, was not allowed to play outside because he couldn't listen...... I type
it here and it may not sound so bad but it wasn't put so nicely and he was
yelling. This was loud enough that other neighbors were watching/listening.
They were in a position they could see in, maybe watching to make sure he
wasn't hitting anyone.

Would it do any good to call the authorities, as yelling probably isn't a
crime? I should note that the boy has no hearing issues, so this BF doesn't
need to yell at him. What would you all do? (I would love to kick this guy
down real hard....... my daughter wants to also.)


My advice is DO NOT INTERFERE with this one. Keep a diary, document,
and gather information, but do not report this one.

I know you want to, but you will not win and you may regret it.

I suspect that ones to really worry about are the quiet ones, anyway.

Karen
  #16  
Old October 1st 04, 10:07 PM
Tiffany
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"slykitten" wrote in message
...
I honestly don't know what I would do. See, my exhusband was deaf but that
didn't stop him from trying to stab me or pull a gun on me... it didn't
stop him from sexually assaulting me or throwing things at me. My neighbor
was also kinda in your shoes because she'd hear me scream hysterically at
my
ex to put down the knife he was holding or whatever and she would call the
cops.... only, she'd remain anonomyous. Since there is a child involved,
I'd
recommend that you do notify the authorities but ask that you remain
anonomyous. This way that abusive SOB doesn't direct his nastiness towards
you... it could have come from any one of the other neighbors... but only
the one who made the call would know who it truly was. does that make
sense?
I hope this helps....

--
"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery



And when the cops came to YOUR house, did you press charges? Did it make you
leave the man? The thing that differs in this situation is there is no sign
of physical abuse, which I wouldn't hesitate to report. If I reported every
partner or parent that yelled, I would need a direct phone line to the
police.

Every bit of advice helps.

T


  #17  
Old October 1st 04, 10:12 PM
Tiffany
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"Cele" wrote in message
...
On Thu, 30 Sep 2004 14:25:57 -0400, "Tiffany"
wrote:

So my downstairs neighbor seems to be having issues. There is a little boy
(1st grader), the mother who is deaf (I don't know if its completely or
not)
and who I think to be just the boyfriend, not the real father or husband.

We have over heard the BF yelling at the little boy, calling him sissy boy
and other not so nice things while trying to teach him to catch a
football.... throwing the football at the kid pretty hard, in order to
teach
him to be tough. Yeah, we hate this guy. I wonder if Mom even knows how
bad
he is being to this boy, is she can't hear what goes on. The mom, I would
say appears to be sad and depressed. It must be tough for her. We haven't
really been able to talk until last week when my daughter had our pet
hamster outside and the neighbor mom brought out her hamster too. We still
didn't get talk/write but I was able to see how mom and son interacted.
Son
is taking on BF's behavior without a doubt.

Last night major yelling was going on, we could hear it since the windows
were open. The yelling of course is one sided..... he was yelling at the
mom. So I wonder if she is not completely deaf, because why would the
asshole bother to yell then? So maybe he has to yell for her to hear him,
though they can be seen signing. After yelling at Mom, I suppose it turned
to the boy who was told he was bad, was not to come out of his room even
to
pee, was not allowed to play outside because he couldn't listen...... I
type
it here and it may not sound so bad but it wasn't put so nicely and he was
yelling. This was loud enough that other neighbors were
watching/listening.
They were in a position they could see in, maybe watching to make sure he
wasn't hitting anyone.

Would it do any good to call the authorities, as yelling probably isn't a
crime? I should note that the boy has no hearing issues, so this BF
doesn't
need to yell at him. What would you all do? (I would love to kick this guy
down real hard....... my daughter wants to also.)

T

Yelling's not a crime, but emotional abuse is. Would it do any good to
call the authorities? Who knows? But if it happened here, you'd be
legally required to call them. You're describing abusive behaviour.

Cele


My thought is it could put the women in further harms way. To further enrage
this asshole might not be good for her and the kid. Not to mention, one
can't say for sure what was going on her side...... she can't yell but she
might have been abusive right back to him. My gut says she is in a bad place
though. I don't see the cops doing much around here.

I am going to sit on it...... if it happens again, I will rethink it.

T


  #18  
Old October 1st 04, 10:17 PM
Tiffany
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"Karen O'Mara" wrote in message
om...
"Tiffany" wrote in message
...
So my downstairs neighbor seems to be having issues. There is a little
boy
(1st grader), the mother who is deaf (I don't know if its completely or
not)
and who I think to be just the boyfriend, not the real father or husband.

We have over heard the BF yelling at the little boy, calling him sissy
boy
and other not so nice things while trying to teach him to catch a
football.... throwing the football at the kid pretty hard, in order to
teach
him to be tough. Yeah, we hate this guy. I wonder if Mom even knows how
bad
he is being to this boy, is she can't hear what goes on. The mom, I would
say appears to be sad and depressed. It must be tough for her. We haven't
really been able to talk until last week when my daughter had our pet
hamster outside and the neighbor mom brought out her hamster too. We
still
didn't get talk/write but I was able to see how mom and son interacted.
Son
is taking on BF's behavior without a doubt.

Last night major yelling was going on, we could hear it since the windows
were open. The yelling of course is one sided..... he was yelling at the
mom. So I wonder if she is not completely deaf, because why would the
asshole bother to yell then? So maybe he has to yell for her to hear him,
though they can be seen signing. After yelling at Mom, I suppose it
turned
to the boy who was told he was bad, was not to come out of his room even
to
pee, was not allowed to play outside because he couldn't listen...... I
type
it here and it may not sound so bad but it wasn't put so nicely and he
was
yelling. This was loud enough that other neighbors were
watching/listening.
They were in a position they could see in, maybe watching to make sure he
wasn't hitting anyone.

Would it do any good to call the authorities, as yelling probably isn't a
crime? I should note that the boy has no hearing issues, so this BF
doesn't
need to yell at him. What would you all do? (I would love to kick this
guy
down real hard....... my daughter wants to also.)


My advice is DO NOT INTERFERE with this one. Keep a diary, document,
and gather information, but do not report this one.

I know you want to, but you will not win and you may regret it.

I suspect that ones to really worry about are the quiet ones, anyway.

Karen


Win what? This isn't about winning or losing. This is about maybe helping
someone and a child. And can I honestly ask what for documentation you are
referring to?

I am not sure what I want to do (besides kicking this asshole) but nice to
see you think I know what I want to do. And its not always the quiet
ones..... I know this from experience.

T


  #19  
Old October 1st 04, 10:19 PM
Tiffany
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"Lisa" wrote in message
...

"lm" wrote in message
...
On Thu, 30 Sep 2004 14:25:57 -0400, "Tiffany"
wrote:

So my downstairs neighbor seems to be having issues. There is a little

boy
(1st grader), the mother who is deaf (I don't know if its completely or

not)
and who I think to be just the boyfriend, not the real father or
husband.

We have over heard the BF yelling at the little boy, calling him sissy

boy
and other not so nice things while trying to teach him to catch a
football.... throwing the football at the kid pretty hard, in order to

teach
him to be tough. Yeah, we hate this guy. I wonder if Mom even knows how

bad
he is being to this boy, is she can't hear what goes on. The mom, I
would
say appears to be sad and depressed. It must be tough for her. We
haven't
really been able to talk until last week when my daughter had our pet
hamster outside and the neighbor mom brought out her hamster too. We

still
didn't get talk/write but I was able to see how mom and son interacted.

Son
is taking on BF's behavior without a doubt.

Last night major yelling was going on, we could hear it since the
windows
were open. The yelling of course is one sided..... he was yelling at the
mom. So I wonder if she is not completely deaf, because why would the
asshole bother to yell then? So maybe he has to yell for her to hear
him,
though they can be seen signing. After yelling at Mom, I suppose it

turned
to the boy who was told he was bad, was not to come out of his room even

to
pee, was not allowed to play outside because he couldn't listen...... I

type
it here and it may not sound so bad but it wasn't put so nicely and he

was
yelling. This was loud enough that other neighbors were

watching/listening.
They were in a position they could see in, maybe watching to make sure
he
wasn't hitting anyone.

Would it do any good to call the authorities, as yelling probably isn't
a
crime? I should note that the boy has no hearing issues, so this BF

doesn't
need to yell at him. What would you all do? (I would love to kick this

guy
down real hard....... my daughter wants to also.)


Please interfere. Please talk to the wife when he's not around. Please
make the child welcome. Please call the authorities.

lm


Sorry Tiff, I'm of the mind your own business but keep your kids away
camp.
Of course, this is with the disclaimer that imminent danger would require
a
very quick 911 call.

We have neighbours across the street, we call them "The Gruesomes".
He's a total asshole and holds nothing back when he yells at his
daughters,
or wife, in the house and out. Unfortunately, we can't pick who buys
houses around here.

If you rent, you can complain to the landlord about noise, but as far as
intruding into their personal lives (fights), stay out of it.

Lisa


I can understand that POV. As that is what I have done, unless things were
way worse I will probably continue to stay out of it. I do feel inclined to
leave brochures for the local women's shelter at the door. Think that would
**** the guy off? lol

T


  #20  
Old October 2nd 04, 03:19 AM
slykitten
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

I tried. I really did try. there were never physical bruises though and I
was too afraid to continue on with pressing charges. The only reason I was
afraid was for the safety of my son.
I was hesitant to even reply to this... now I'm sorry I did...

--
"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"slykitten" wrote in message
...
I honestly don't know what I would do. See, my exhusband was deaf but

that
didn't stop him from trying to stab me or pull a gun on me... it didn't
stop him from sexually assaulting me or throwing things at me. My

neighbor
was also kinda in your shoes because she'd hear me scream hysterically

at
my
ex to put down the knife he was holding or whatever and she would call

the
cops.... only, she'd remain anonomyous. Since there is a child involved,
I'd
recommend that you do notify the authorities but ask that you remain
anonomyous. This way that abusive SOB doesn't direct his nastiness

towards
you... it could have come from any one of the other neighbors... but

only
the one who made the call would know who it truly was. does that make
sense?
I hope this helps....

--
"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery



And when the cops came to YOUR house, did you press charges? Did it make

you
leave the man? The thing that differs in this situation is there is no

sign
of physical abuse, which I wouldn't hesitate to report. If I reported

every
partner or parent that yelled, I would need a direct phone line to the
police.

Every bit of advice helps.

T




 




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