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"lm" wrote in message ... On Thu, 30 Sep 2004 14:25:57 -0400, "Tiffany" wrote: So my downstairs neighbor seems to be having issues. There is a little boy (1st grader), the mother who is deaf (I don't know if its completely or not) and who I think to be just the boyfriend, not the real father or husband. We have over heard the BF yelling at the little boy, calling him sissy boy and other not so nice things while trying to teach him to catch a football.... throwing the football at the kid pretty hard, in order to teach him to be tough. Yeah, we hate this guy. I wonder if Mom even knows how bad he is being to this boy, is she can't hear what goes on. The mom, I would say appears to be sad and depressed. It must be tough for her. We haven't really been able to talk until last week when my daughter had our pet hamster outside and the neighbor mom brought out her hamster too. We still didn't get talk/write but I was able to see how mom and son interacted. Son is taking on BF's behavior without a doubt. Last night major yelling was going on, we could hear it since the windows were open. The yelling of course is one sided..... he was yelling at the mom. So I wonder if she is not completely deaf, because why would the asshole bother to yell then? So maybe he has to yell for her to hear him, though they can be seen signing. After yelling at Mom, I suppose it turned to the boy who was told he was bad, was not to come out of his room even to pee, was not allowed to play outside because he couldn't listen...... I type it here and it may not sound so bad but it wasn't put so nicely and he was yelling. This was loud enough that other neighbors were watching/listening. They were in a position they could see in, maybe watching to make sure he wasn't hitting anyone. Would it do any good to call the authorities, as yelling probably isn't a crime? I should note that the boy has no hearing issues, so this BF doesn't need to yell at him. What would you all do? (I would love to kick this guy down real hard....... my daughter wants to also.) Please interfere. Please talk to the wife when he's not around. Please make the child welcome. Please call the authorities. lm Sorry Tiff, I'm of the mind your own business but keep your kids away camp. Of course, this is with the disclaimer that imminent danger would require a very quick 911 call. We have neighbours across the street, we call them "The Gruesomes". He's a total asshole and holds nothing back when he yells at his daughters, or wife, in the house and out. Unfortunately, we can't pick who buys houses around here. If you rent, you can complain to the landlord about noise, but as far as intruding into their personal lives (fights), stay out of it. Lisa |
#12
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"lm" wrote in message ... On Fri, 01 Oct 2004 03:37:41 GMT, "CME" wrote: "slykitten" wrote in message ... I honestly don't know what I would do. See, my exhusband was deaf but that didn't stop him from trying to stab me or pull a gun on me... it didn't stop him from sexually assaulting me or throwing things at me. My neighbor was also kinda in your shoes because she'd hear me scream hysterically at my ex to put down the knife he was holding or whatever and she would call the cops.... only, she'd remain anonomyous. Since there is a child involved, I'd recommend that you do notify the authorities but ask that you remain anonomyous. This way that abusive SOB doesn't direct his nastiness towards you... it could have come from any one of the other neighbors... but only the one who made the call would know who it truly was. does that make sense? I hope this helps.... -- "Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it. You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery No offence but you frequently bring up your past abuse. We've all been through tough situations, I just question why you feel the need to let everyone else know. I'm not talking about the abuse in general but the specifics you seem to present quite frequently in your posts. I don't know, maybe it's just me but I find that odd. You've got to be kidding me. Why don't we just skip the actual sentences and use a multiple-choice format so everyone posts the same way. lm No I'm just asking why she feels the need to revel in victim mode. I find full disclosure to a bunch of strangers odd, when this isn't an abuse forum. It's like sitting on the bus and someone starts telling me their life story because I asked them how they were. Christine |
#13
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"Lisa" wrote in message ... "CME" wrote in message news:9i47d.965$j24.459@clgrps12... "slykitten" wrote in message ... I honestly don't know what I would do. See, my exhusband was deaf but that didn't stop him from trying to stab me or pull a gun on me... it didn't stop him from sexually assaulting me or throwing things at me. My neighbor was also kinda in your shoes because she'd hear me scream hysterically at my ex to put down the knife he was holding or whatever and she would call the cops.... only, she'd remain anonomyous. Since there is a child involved, I'd recommend that you do notify the authorities but ask that you remain anonomyous. This way that abusive SOB doesn't direct his nastiness towards you... it could have come from any one of the other neighbors... but only the one who made the call would know who it truly was. does that make sense? I hope this helps.... -- "Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it. You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery No offence but you frequently bring up your past abuse. We've all been through tough situations, I just question why you feel the need to let everyone else know. I'm not talking about the abuse in general but the specifics you seem to present quite frequently in your posts. I don't know, maybe it's just me but I find that odd. Christine Oh fer $$$ sakes Christine, can this girl not post without you following up with the above nonsense? Just move along to the next post or ignore her entirely. Lisa I've ignored it for a few weeks and slamming her ex for whatever he's done has no place here. Read the FAQ. Christine |
#14
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On Fri, 01 Oct 2004 16:10:14 GMT, "CME"
wrote: "lm" wrote in message .. . On Fri, 01 Oct 2004 03:37:41 GMT, "CME" wrote: "slykitten" wrote in message ... I honestly don't know what I would do. See, my exhusband was deaf but that didn't stop him from trying to stab me or pull a gun on me... it didn't stop him from sexually assaulting me or throwing things at me. My neighbor was also kinda in your shoes because she'd hear me scream hysterically at my ex to put down the knife he was holding or whatever and she would call the cops.... only, she'd remain anonomyous. Since there is a child involved, I'd recommend that you do notify the authorities but ask that you remain anonomyous. This way that abusive SOB doesn't direct his nastiness towards you... it could have come from any one of the other neighbors... but only the one who made the call would know who it truly was. does that make sense? I hope this helps.... -- "Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it. You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery No offence but you frequently bring up your past abuse. We've all been through tough situations, I just question why you feel the need to let everyone else know. I'm not talking about the abuse in general but the specifics you seem to present quite frequently in your posts. I don't know, maybe it's just me but I find that odd. You've got to be kidding me. Why don't we just skip the actual sentences and use a multiple-choice format so everyone posts the same way. lm No I'm just asking why she feels the need to revel in victim mode. I find full disclosure to a bunch of strangers odd, when this isn't an abuse forum. It's like sitting on the bus and someone starts telling me their life story because I asked them how they were. It's nothing like that. It was related to the OP, whereas your comments aren't. I find it odd how rarely parenting is discussed on this forum. lm |
#15
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"Tiffany" wrote in message ...
So my downstairs neighbor seems to be having issues. There is a little boy (1st grader), the mother who is deaf (I don't know if its completely or not) and who I think to be just the boyfriend, not the real father or husband. We have over heard the BF yelling at the little boy, calling him sissy boy and other not so nice things while trying to teach him to catch a football.... throwing the football at the kid pretty hard, in order to teach him to be tough. Yeah, we hate this guy. I wonder if Mom even knows how bad he is being to this boy, is she can't hear what goes on. The mom, I would say appears to be sad and depressed. It must be tough for her. We haven't really been able to talk until last week when my daughter had our pet hamster outside and the neighbor mom brought out her hamster too. We still didn't get talk/write but I was able to see how mom and son interacted. Son is taking on BF's behavior without a doubt. Last night major yelling was going on, we could hear it since the windows were open. The yelling of course is one sided..... he was yelling at the mom. So I wonder if she is not completely deaf, because why would the asshole bother to yell then? So maybe he has to yell for her to hear him, though they can be seen signing. After yelling at Mom, I suppose it turned to the boy who was told he was bad, was not to come out of his room even to pee, was not allowed to play outside because he couldn't listen...... I type it here and it may not sound so bad but it wasn't put so nicely and he was yelling. This was loud enough that other neighbors were watching/listening. They were in a position they could see in, maybe watching to make sure he wasn't hitting anyone. Would it do any good to call the authorities, as yelling probably isn't a crime? I should note that the boy has no hearing issues, so this BF doesn't need to yell at him. What would you all do? (I would love to kick this guy down real hard....... my daughter wants to also.) My advice is DO NOT INTERFERE with this one. Keep a diary, document, and gather information, but do not report this one. I know you want to, but you will not win and you may regret it. I suspect that ones to really worry about are the quiet ones, anyway. Karen |
#16
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"slykitten" wrote in message ... I honestly don't know what I would do. See, my exhusband was deaf but that didn't stop him from trying to stab me or pull a gun on me... it didn't stop him from sexually assaulting me or throwing things at me. My neighbor was also kinda in your shoes because she'd hear me scream hysterically at my ex to put down the knife he was holding or whatever and she would call the cops.... only, she'd remain anonomyous. Since there is a child involved, I'd recommend that you do notify the authorities but ask that you remain anonomyous. This way that abusive SOB doesn't direct his nastiness towards you... it could have come from any one of the other neighbors... but only the one who made the call would know who it truly was. does that make sense? I hope this helps.... -- "Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it. You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery And when the cops came to YOUR house, did you press charges? Did it make you leave the man? The thing that differs in this situation is there is no sign of physical abuse, which I wouldn't hesitate to report. If I reported every partner or parent that yelled, I would need a direct phone line to the police. Every bit of advice helps. T |
#17
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"Cele" wrote in message ... On Thu, 30 Sep 2004 14:25:57 -0400, "Tiffany" wrote: So my downstairs neighbor seems to be having issues. There is a little boy (1st grader), the mother who is deaf (I don't know if its completely or not) and who I think to be just the boyfriend, not the real father or husband. We have over heard the BF yelling at the little boy, calling him sissy boy and other not so nice things while trying to teach him to catch a football.... throwing the football at the kid pretty hard, in order to teach him to be tough. Yeah, we hate this guy. I wonder if Mom even knows how bad he is being to this boy, is she can't hear what goes on. The mom, I would say appears to be sad and depressed. It must be tough for her. We haven't really been able to talk until last week when my daughter had our pet hamster outside and the neighbor mom brought out her hamster too. We still didn't get talk/write but I was able to see how mom and son interacted. Son is taking on BF's behavior without a doubt. Last night major yelling was going on, we could hear it since the windows were open. The yelling of course is one sided..... he was yelling at the mom. So I wonder if she is not completely deaf, because why would the asshole bother to yell then? So maybe he has to yell for her to hear him, though they can be seen signing. After yelling at Mom, I suppose it turned to the boy who was told he was bad, was not to come out of his room even to pee, was not allowed to play outside because he couldn't listen...... I type it here and it may not sound so bad but it wasn't put so nicely and he was yelling. This was loud enough that other neighbors were watching/listening. They were in a position they could see in, maybe watching to make sure he wasn't hitting anyone. Would it do any good to call the authorities, as yelling probably isn't a crime? I should note that the boy has no hearing issues, so this BF doesn't need to yell at him. What would you all do? (I would love to kick this guy down real hard....... my daughter wants to also.) T Yelling's not a crime, but emotional abuse is. Would it do any good to call the authorities? Who knows? But if it happened here, you'd be legally required to call them. You're describing abusive behaviour. Cele My thought is it could put the women in further harms way. To further enrage this asshole might not be good for her and the kid. Not to mention, one can't say for sure what was going on her side...... she can't yell but she might have been abusive right back to him. My gut says she is in a bad place though. I don't see the cops doing much around here. I am going to sit on it...... if it happens again, I will rethink it. T |
#18
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"Karen O'Mara" wrote in message om... "Tiffany" wrote in message ... So my downstairs neighbor seems to be having issues. There is a little boy (1st grader), the mother who is deaf (I don't know if its completely or not) and who I think to be just the boyfriend, not the real father or husband. We have over heard the BF yelling at the little boy, calling him sissy boy and other not so nice things while trying to teach him to catch a football.... throwing the football at the kid pretty hard, in order to teach him to be tough. Yeah, we hate this guy. I wonder if Mom even knows how bad he is being to this boy, is she can't hear what goes on. The mom, I would say appears to be sad and depressed. It must be tough for her. We haven't really been able to talk until last week when my daughter had our pet hamster outside and the neighbor mom brought out her hamster too. We still didn't get talk/write but I was able to see how mom and son interacted. Son is taking on BF's behavior without a doubt. Last night major yelling was going on, we could hear it since the windows were open. The yelling of course is one sided..... he was yelling at the mom. So I wonder if she is not completely deaf, because why would the asshole bother to yell then? So maybe he has to yell for her to hear him, though they can be seen signing. After yelling at Mom, I suppose it turned to the boy who was told he was bad, was not to come out of his room even to pee, was not allowed to play outside because he couldn't listen...... I type it here and it may not sound so bad but it wasn't put so nicely and he was yelling. This was loud enough that other neighbors were watching/listening. They were in a position they could see in, maybe watching to make sure he wasn't hitting anyone. Would it do any good to call the authorities, as yelling probably isn't a crime? I should note that the boy has no hearing issues, so this BF doesn't need to yell at him. What would you all do? (I would love to kick this guy down real hard....... my daughter wants to also.) My advice is DO NOT INTERFERE with this one. Keep a diary, document, and gather information, but do not report this one. I know you want to, but you will not win and you may regret it. I suspect that ones to really worry about are the quiet ones, anyway. Karen Win what? This isn't about winning or losing. This is about maybe helping someone and a child. And can I honestly ask what for documentation you are referring to? I am not sure what I want to do (besides kicking this asshole) but nice to see you think I know what I want to do. And its not always the quiet ones..... I know this from experience. T |
#19
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"Lisa" wrote in message ... "lm" wrote in message ... On Thu, 30 Sep 2004 14:25:57 -0400, "Tiffany" wrote: So my downstairs neighbor seems to be having issues. There is a little boy (1st grader), the mother who is deaf (I don't know if its completely or not) and who I think to be just the boyfriend, not the real father or husband. We have over heard the BF yelling at the little boy, calling him sissy boy and other not so nice things while trying to teach him to catch a football.... throwing the football at the kid pretty hard, in order to teach him to be tough. Yeah, we hate this guy. I wonder if Mom even knows how bad he is being to this boy, is she can't hear what goes on. The mom, I would say appears to be sad and depressed. It must be tough for her. We haven't really been able to talk until last week when my daughter had our pet hamster outside and the neighbor mom brought out her hamster too. We still didn't get talk/write but I was able to see how mom and son interacted. Son is taking on BF's behavior without a doubt. Last night major yelling was going on, we could hear it since the windows were open. The yelling of course is one sided..... he was yelling at the mom. So I wonder if she is not completely deaf, because why would the asshole bother to yell then? So maybe he has to yell for her to hear him, though they can be seen signing. After yelling at Mom, I suppose it turned to the boy who was told he was bad, was not to come out of his room even to pee, was not allowed to play outside because he couldn't listen...... I type it here and it may not sound so bad but it wasn't put so nicely and he was yelling. This was loud enough that other neighbors were watching/listening. They were in a position they could see in, maybe watching to make sure he wasn't hitting anyone. Would it do any good to call the authorities, as yelling probably isn't a crime? I should note that the boy has no hearing issues, so this BF doesn't need to yell at him. What would you all do? (I would love to kick this guy down real hard....... my daughter wants to also.) Please interfere. Please talk to the wife when he's not around. Please make the child welcome. Please call the authorities. lm Sorry Tiff, I'm of the mind your own business but keep your kids away camp. Of course, this is with the disclaimer that imminent danger would require a very quick 911 call. We have neighbours across the street, we call them "The Gruesomes". He's a total asshole and holds nothing back when he yells at his daughters, or wife, in the house and out. Unfortunately, we can't pick who buys houses around here. If you rent, you can complain to the landlord about noise, but as far as intruding into their personal lives (fights), stay out of it. Lisa I can understand that POV. As that is what I have done, unless things were way worse I will probably continue to stay out of it. I do feel inclined to leave brochures for the local women's shelter at the door. Think that would **** the guy off? lol T |
#20
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I tried. I really did try. there were never physical bruises though and I
was too afraid to continue on with pressing charges. The only reason I was afraid was for the safety of my son. I was hesitant to even reply to this... now I'm sorry I did... -- "Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it. You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery "Tiffany" wrote in message ... "slykitten" wrote in message ... I honestly don't know what I would do. See, my exhusband was deaf but that didn't stop him from trying to stab me or pull a gun on me... it didn't stop him from sexually assaulting me or throwing things at me. My neighbor was also kinda in your shoes because she'd hear me scream hysterically at my ex to put down the knife he was holding or whatever and she would call the cops.... only, she'd remain anonomyous. Since there is a child involved, I'd recommend that you do notify the authorities but ask that you remain anonomyous. This way that abusive SOB doesn't direct his nastiness towards you... it could have come from any one of the other neighbors... but only the one who made the call would know who it truly was. does that make sense? I hope this helps.... -- "Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it. You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery And when the cops came to YOUR house, did you press charges? Did it make you leave the man? The thing that differs in this situation is there is no sign of physical abuse, which I wouldn't hesitate to report. If I reported every partner or parent that yelled, I would need a direct phone line to the police. Every bit of advice helps. T |
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