CS related licene suspension question...

"P.Fritz" wrote in message
...

"The Dave©" wrote in message
...
Editor - Child Support News wrote:
Sure it is, Dave.

Simply force the custodial parent to set up a Guardianship account in
the way my mother had to.

DCSE could then directly deposit those funds into that account (screw
the debit cards some states are doing), and simply require the
custodial parent to write checks for expenses of the minor children.
My mother did it flawlessly for 10 years.

I mean if the government is going to stick it's nose in,
accountability should be required...otherwise, government should stay
the hell out -- especially the federal government...if a federal
court has no jurisdiction to hear child support cases [not criminal
support, different bird], then there should be no regulation of child
support issues by the feds either.

I mean, if Bill Clinton or any other civil debotr can owe literally
millions of dollars to a creditor but can come and go from this
country as they please, then why not a parent who owes $5,000 in
child support.

My arrearage accured in large part because my ex hid my child from me
for SIX YEARS in violation of the same order the court enforced to
"reward" the bitch and the Clerk of the Courts blocked me from
getting in to court to have the CSO terminated. Of course, the court
tried to toss me into jail for a year, but the court acted illegally
and that was tossed...but then, my ex interfered with visitation 13
times in 18 months...the judge didn't do a damn thing....same judge.

Couple that with the court's illegal modification of my child support
order and I was over $50000 in arrears...with over 1/2 of that being
interest.

The system and the people who administer to it are idiots...many in
Virginia are likely man-hating welfare or former welfare moms.

Technically, it could be done, sure, but I disagree that it's
reasonable. What's reasonable is a solid accounting for maybe 80% to
90%. In the managing of a family some things should be discretionary
and flexible. Stuff happens. Things come up. I don't expect, nor as
a father would I want, receipts from the ice cream truck, for example.

That would be a discretionary expense not covered by CS

No Paul, ice cream is a necessity.

T

"Pamela" wrote in message
.net...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"Pamela" wrote in message
k.net...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"kyfunguy" wrote in message
...
To be honest... there is a bit of a geographical distance between
us.
My
kids live in Maine... and I live in Kentucky. I speak with them on
the
phone
nearly every night... discuss what happened for that day...
usually
give
some homework assistance. We web cam a couple of times a week...
which
is
nice. I'm not suggesting that it's anywhere near to actually being
with
them
on a daily basis... but factoring in the distance... It's about
the
best
I
can do at this time.

My ex and I have joint custody... and she is the CP. We both
believe
that
my
constant and consistent interaction with the kids is of utmost
importance.
Last Christmas, I flew up their and stayed a week over the
holidays.
At
the
end of June, I'm going to drive up to Maine, pick them up, and
they
will
return to stay with me for the month of July. If they were closer,
they
would certainly spend more physical time with me. It would
probably
be
awkward to have a 50/50 split on custody, but do-able. However, my
ex
and
I
both agree that (esp. for my oldest daughter, who's in HS) the
children
need
consistency in schooling. So we have agreed that they should stay
up
in
Maine for the school year. And it is far easier for me to trek up
to
see/get
them, then it is for them to come to me.

Am I perfect? Hardly. Am I going to be father of the year?
Unlikely.

But
I'm
trying to serve the best interests of my kids.... and isn't that
what
is
most important?


Definately that is most important. Good for you for doing what you
can
to
stay constant in their lives. It is hard when there is distance but
you
can
make it happen and with modern technology, it makes is easier.

I wasn't saying you weren't a good father, BTW, just pointing out
the
comment that you were based on your paying the support. I see that
others
know more about you and didn't make an assumption based on money.

T

Your approval of him probably has made his day. Geez.

Pamela




Positive comments have a better effect on a person then snide comments.
But
I assume you know that. Geez.

T

Your exempt from that?

Pamela



I make positive comments to those I think deserve it. Mainly those who
haven't made snide comments to me.

T

"Pamela" wrote in message
.net...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"Pamela" wrote in message
k.net...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"kyfunguy" wrote in message
...
To be honest... there is a bit of a geographical distance between
us.
My
kids live in Maine... and I live in Kentucky. I speak with them on
the
phone
nearly every night... discuss what happened for that day...
usually
give
some homework assistance. We web cam a couple of times a week...
which
is
nice. I'm not suggesting that it's anywhere near to actually being
with
them
on a daily basis... but factoring in the distance... It's about
the
best
I
can do at this time.

My ex and I have joint custody... and she is the CP. We both
believe
that
my
constant and consistent interaction with the kids is of utmost
importance.
Last Christmas, I flew up their and stayed a week over the
holidays.
At
the
end of June, I'm going to drive up to Maine, pick them up, and
they
will
return to stay with me for the month of July. If they were closer,
they
would certainly spend more physical time with me. It would
probably
be
awkward to have a 50/50 split on custody, but do-able. However, my
ex
and
I
both agree that (esp. for my oldest daughter, who's in HS) the
children
need
consistency in schooling. So we have agreed that they should stay
up
in
Maine for the school year. And it is far easier for me to trek up
to
see/get
them, then it is for them to come to me.

Am I perfect? Hardly. Am I going to be father of the year?
Unlikely.

But
I'm
trying to serve the best interests of my kids.... and isn't that
what
is
most important?


Definately that is most important. Good for you for doing what you
can
to
stay constant in their lives. It is hard when there is distance but
you
can
make it happen and with modern technology, it makes is easier.

I wasn't saying you weren't a good father, BTW, just pointing out
the
comment that you were based on your paying the support. I see that
others
know more about you and didn't make an assumption based on money.

T

Your approval of him probably has made his day. Geez.

Pamela




Positive comments have a better effect on a person then snide comments.
But
I assume you know that. Geez.

T

Your exempt from that?

Pamela



I make positive comments to those I think deserve it. Mainly those who
haven't made snide comments to me.

T

"Pamela" wrote in message
.net...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"Pamela" wrote in message
k.net...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"kyfunguy" wrote in message
...
To be honest... there is a bit of a geographical distance between
us.
My
kids live in Maine... and I live in Kentucky. I speak with them on
the
phone
nearly every night... discuss what happened for that day...
usually
give
some homework assistance. We web cam a couple of times a week...
which
is
nice. I'm not suggesting that it's anywhere near to actually being
with
them
on a daily basis... but factoring in the distance... It's about
the
best
I
can do at this time.

My ex and I have joint custody... and she is the CP. We both
believe
that
my
constant and consistent interaction with the kids is of utmost
importance.
Last Christmas, I flew up their and stayed a week over the
holidays.
At
the
end of June, I'm going to drive up to Maine, pick them up, and
they
will
return to stay with me for the month of July. If they were closer,
they
would certainly spend more physical time with me. It would
probably
be
awkward to have a 50/50 split on custody, but do-able. However, my
ex
and
I
both agree that (esp. for my oldest daughter, who's in HS) the
children
need
consistency in schooling. So we have agreed that they should stay
up
in
Maine for the school year. And it is far easier for me to trek up
to
see/get
them, then it is for them to come to me.

Am I perfect? Hardly. Am I going to be father of the year?
Unlikely.

But
I'm
trying to serve the best interests of my kids.... and isn't that
what
is
most important?


Definately that is most important. Good for you for doing what you
can
to
stay constant in their lives. It is hard when there is distance but
you
can
make it happen and with modern technology, it makes is easier.

I wasn't saying you weren't a good father, BTW, just pointing out
the
comment that you were based on your paying the support. I see that
others
know more about you and didn't make an assumption based on money.

T

Your approval of him probably has made his day. Geez.

Pamela




Positive comments have a better effect on a person then snide comments.
But
I assume you know that. Geez.

T

Your exempt from that?

Pamela



I make positive comments to those I think deserve it. Mainly those who
haven't made snide comments to me.

T

"Pamela" wrote in message
.net...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"Pamela" wrote in message
k.net...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"kyfunguy" wrote in message
...
To be honest... there is a bit of a geographical distance between
us.
My
kids live in Maine... and I live in Kentucky. I speak with them on
the
phone
nearly every night... discuss what happened for that day...
usually
give
some homework assistance. We web cam a couple of times a week...
which
is
nice. I'm not suggesting that it's anywhere near to actually being
with
them
on a daily basis... but factoring in the distance... It's about
the
best
I
can do at this time.

My ex and I have joint custody... and she is the CP. We both
believe
that
my
constant and consistent interaction with the kids is of utmost
importance.
Last Christmas, I flew up their and stayed a week over the
holidays.
At
the
end of June, I'm going to drive up to Maine, pick them up, and
they
will
return to stay with me for the month of July. If they were closer,
they
would certainly spend more physical time with me. It would
probably
be
awkward to have a 50/50 split on custody, but do-able. However, my
ex
and
I
both agree that (esp. for my oldest daughter, who's in HS) the
children
need
consistency in schooling. So we have agreed that they should stay
up
in
Maine for the school year. And it is far easier for me to trek up
to
see/get
them, then it is for them to come to me.

Am I perfect? Hardly. Am I going to be father of the year?
Unlikely.

But
I'm
trying to serve the best interests of my kids.... and isn't that
what
is
most important?


Definately that is most important. Good for you for doing what you
can
to
stay constant in their lives. It is hard when there is distance but
you
can
make it happen and with modern technology, it makes is easier.

I wasn't saying you weren't a good father, BTW, just pointing out
the
comment that you were based on your paying the support. I see that
others
know more about you and didn't make an assumption based on money.

T

Your approval of him probably has made his day. Geez.

Pamela




Positive comments have a better effect on a person then snide comments.
But
I assume you know that. Geez.

T

Your exempt from that?

Pamela



I make positive comments to those I think deserve it. Mainly those who
haven't made snide comments to me.

T

"P.Fritz" wrote in message
...


Technically, it could be done, sure, but I disagree that it's
reasonable. What's reasonable is a solid accounting for maybe 80% to
90%. In the managing of a family some things should be discretionary
and flexible. Stuff happens. Things come up. I don't expect, nor as
a father would I want, receipts from the ice cream truck, for example.

That would be a discretionary expense not covered by CS

When dropping little Suzy at school, I may not have the correct
checkbook in my pocket when she hits me up for $20 for something the
school wants money for. I see it as counter-productive to encourage
such minute detail.

If it is a 'required' expense.....there is no reason that a reciept from
the
school could not be obtained. If it was not required, then it is another
discretionary expense not covered by CS

Would you expect CS to fluctuate every month based on the previous
month's numbers? I wouldn't. I'd want something reasonable I could
count on, for my own sanity and budgeting purposes. Making it too
complicated would be over-compensating for the flawed system we have
now and would do nothing but cause hard feelings and potentially cause
one side or the other to inflate their numbers to try and get over.

You say the system is administered by idiots. Do you really trust
these same people to oversee such an exact exchange between parties?

The IRS are a bunch of idiots, but they require exact accounting


Now that's just a little ridiculous. If you're saying that a NCP child
support payment can't be used to buy their child an ice cream cone...
because you consider that as 'discretionary' expense... then I believe your
idea of child support, is just a tad rigid.

Kids come up with requests for money all the time... Movies, CD's, toys,
books... even ice cream cones, occasional bake sales at school, Girl Scout
cookies... etc...... All of these are in line with expenses that comes with
having children. I know my kids have these expenses, and even more. My
eldest daughter is involved in the local community theater, and my son is
involved with local community sports activities. These things are not
typically free, and I have no problem with money being spent for them to
enjoy these activities.

There are times that my kids ask for something, and are told no because that
particular item is too expensive. But if you're going to start quibbling
over your children having an ice cream cone, or a few bucks for something at
school... I think your being rather stingy.

"P.Fritz" wrote in message
...


Technically, it could be done, sure, but I disagree that it's
reasonable. What's reasonable is a solid accounting for maybe 80% to
90%. In the managing of a family some things should be discretionary
and flexible. Stuff happens. Things come up. I don't expect, nor as
a father would I want, receipts from the ice cream truck, for example.

That would be a discretionary expense not covered by CS

When dropping little Suzy at school, I may not have the correct
checkbook in my pocket when she hits me up for $20 for something the
school wants money for. I see it as counter-productive to encourage
such minute detail.

If it is a 'required' expense.....there is no reason that a reciept from
the
school could not be obtained. If it was not required, then it is another
discretionary expense not covered by CS

Would you expect CS to fluctuate every month based on the previous
month's numbers? I wouldn't. I'd want something reasonable I could
count on, for my own sanity and budgeting purposes. Making it too
complicated would be over-compensating for the flawed system we have
now and would do nothing but cause hard feelings and potentially cause
one side or the other to inflate their numbers to try and get over.

You say the system is administered by idiots. Do you really trust
these same people to oversee such an exact exchange between parties?

The IRS are a bunch of idiots, but they require exact accounting


Now that's just a little ridiculous. If you're saying that a NCP child
support payment can't be used to buy their child an ice cream cone...
because you consider that as 'discretionary' expense... then I believe your
idea of child support, is just a tad rigid.

Kids come up with requests for money all the time... Movies, CD's, toys,
books... even ice cream cones, occasional bake sales at school, Girl Scout
cookies... etc...... All of these are in line with expenses that comes with
having children. I know my kids have these expenses, and even more. My
eldest daughter is involved in the local community theater, and my son is
involved with local community sports activities. These things are not
typically free, and I have no problem with money being spent for them to
enjoy these activities.

There are times that my kids ask for something, and are told no because that
particular item is too expensive. But if you're going to start quibbling
over your children having an ice cream cone, or a few bucks for something at
school... I think your being rather stingy.

"P.Fritz" wrote in message
...


Technically, it could be done, sure, but I disagree that it's
reasonable. What's reasonable is a solid accounting for maybe 80% to
90%. In the managing of a family some things should be discretionary
and flexible. Stuff happens. Things come up. I don't expect, nor as
a father would I want, receipts from the ice cream truck, for example.

That would be a discretionary expense not covered by CS

When dropping little Suzy at school, I may not have the correct
checkbook in my pocket when she hits me up for $20 for something the
school wants money for. I see it as counter-productive to encourage
such minute detail.

If it is a 'required' expense.....there is no reason that a reciept from
the
school could not be obtained. If it was not required, then it is another
discretionary expense not covered by CS

Would you expect CS to fluctuate every month based on the previous
month's numbers? I wouldn't. I'd want something reasonable I could
count on, for my own sanity and budgeting purposes. Making it too
complicated would be over-compensating for the flawed system we have
now and would do nothing but cause hard feelings and potentially cause
one side or the other to inflate their numbers to try and get over.

You say the system is administered by idiots. Do you really trust
these same people to oversee such an exact exchange between parties?

The IRS are a bunch of idiots, but they require exact accounting


Now that's just a little ridiculous. If you're saying that a NCP child
support payment can't be used to buy their child an ice cream cone...
because you consider that as 'discretionary' expense... then I believe your
idea of child support, is just a tad rigid.

Kids come up with requests for money all the time... Movies, CD's, toys,
books... even ice cream cones, occasional bake sales at school, Girl Scout
cookies... etc...... All of these are in line with expenses that comes with
having children. I know my kids have these expenses, and even more. My
eldest daughter is involved in the local community theater, and my son is
involved with local community sports activities. These things are not
typically free, and I have no problem with money being spent for them to
enjoy these activities.

There are times that my kids ask for something, and are told no because that
particular item is too expensive. But if you're going to start quibbling
over your children having an ice cream cone, or a few bucks for something at
school... I think your being rather stingy.

"P.Fritz" wrote in message
...


Technically, it could be done, sure, but I disagree that it's
reasonable. What's reasonable is a solid accounting for maybe 80% to
90%. In the managing of a family some things should be discretionary
and flexible. Stuff happens. Things come up. I don't expect, nor as
a father would I want, receipts from the ice cream truck, for example.

That would be a discretionary expense not covered by CS

When dropping little Suzy at school, I may not have the correct
checkbook in my pocket when she hits me up for $20 for something the
school wants money for. I see it as counter-productive to encourage
such minute detail.

If it is a 'required' expense.....there is no reason that a reciept from
the
school could not be obtained. If it was not required, then it is another
discretionary expense not covered by CS

Would you expect CS to fluctuate every month based on the previous
month's numbers? I wouldn't. I'd want something reasonable I could
count on, for my own sanity and budgeting purposes. Making it too
complicated would be over-compensating for the flawed system we have
now and would do nothing but cause hard feelings and potentially cause
one side or the other to inflate their numbers to try and get over.

You say the system is administered by idiots. Do you really trust
these same people to oversee such an exact exchange between parties?

The IRS are a bunch of idiots, but they require exact accounting


Now that's just a little ridiculous. If you're saying that a NCP child
support payment can't be used to buy their child an ice cream cone...
because you consider that as 'discretionary' expense... then I believe your
idea of child support, is just a tad rigid.

Kids come up with requests for money all the time... Movies, CD's, toys,
books... even ice cream cones, occasional bake sales at school, Girl Scout
cookies... etc...... All of these are in line with expenses that comes with
having children. I know my kids have these expenses, and even more. My
eldest daughter is involved in the local community theater, and my son is
involved with local community sports activities. These things are not
typically free, and I have no problem with money being spent for them to
enjoy these activities.

There are times that my kids ask for something, and are told no because that
particular item is too expensive. But if you're going to start quibbling
over your children having an ice cream cone, or a few bucks for something at
school... I think your being rather stingy.

"Bob Whiteside" wrote in message
k.net...

"Pamela" wrote in message
hlink.net...

"Bob Whiteside" wrote in message
hlink.net...

"Pamela" wrote in message
hlink.net...
I never respond to this stuff, but you know, I don't think taking a
person's
license for failure to provide for his children is extreme.

I have an ex who has not paid child support for years, may see his
daughter
whenever he wants, makes a great income, and cheats and steals his
way
through life.

Taking his driver's license away seems a rather amusing way to wake
him
up.
More I think about it, the more I like it.

We teach our children that there are consequences to what we do.
Perhaps,
ex's who disregard the health and welfare of their children ought to
be
taught the same lesson.

I got a huge lesson in what children think about these types of legal
proceedings against fathers from my daughter. Her mother tried to
tell
her
all the bad stuff happening to her dad was created by the state. My
daughter was very direct in telling her mom, the reason the state is
taking
those actions against dad is because you ask them to do it. The
mothers
who
hide behind the state's legal processes just don't get how much the
children
understand about the process.



I got a huge lesson in what children think about these things from my
daughter. Read the post " A child's plaintive cry". It was written by
my
16 year old daughter. Certainly your ex had to ask the state to do it,
but
why was she forced to ask the state to do it? Did you not pay any child
support? Why not?

At the time, my daughter was over 18 and attending college. I had a court
order consistent with state law to pay the CS directly to my daughter as
an
adult child attending school. The state CS accounting unit sent the CS
money to my ex anyway because they only read the judgment extracts and not
the details in the court order. I refused to put money into the system
until they fixed their own screw-up. It took them 2 years and 10 months
to
settle my formal grievance.

Regarding your comments about not being aware of high CS orders
elsewhere -
You need to consider the basic CS order is just the starting point for
total
CS paid. Most fathers also pay healthcare and daycare add-ons, plus
uninsured healthcare, life insurance premiums, spousal support, etc. At
one
point the sum of the payment items I was ordered to pay took 58% of my
take
home pay.
After taxes I was left with 25 cents on every dollar earned before any
uninsured healthcare. Fortunately, my ex never sent me any requests for
uninsured healthcare payments. She thought I was paying enough.

My state's healthcare provisions for CS say healthcare reimbursements are
not considered excessive until they equal the basic CS award. That means
the uninsured healthcare component can double the basic CS order.



Bob,

It is my opinion that alimony is an outdated concept, and I don't think,
in most cases, it should be awarded to anyone. I believe in a fair
distribution of assets, the same as would happen if a business partnership
were to be ended

I do believe, as I have said many times, that there are inequities in the
law as regard the NCP, in many cases. I do not think father's should be so
burdened that they cannot live and also pay their CS. I also do not think
that mother's should, out of hand, be given sole physical custody of their
children. I believe that children need both parent's, assuming that both
parent's are competent and safe.

Not all CP's get everything they are entitled to. Not all CP's have a
cake-walk. I didn't. But, I toss that up to the way life is. My ex
cleaned out the bank account, took the proceeds from the sale of our home,
and left me holding the bag for all the debts. He skated. That's just the
way it happened. It's happened to other's as well. I did not go after him,
because I was too busy living my life, and the energy necessary for that
seemed a waste of my resources. Not that I do not have moments of deep
sadness for my children, or anger toward him. I do.

There are merits to this argument. But, the merits should stand on their
own. Unfortunately, when bitterness, anger, and propaganda get in the way
of constructive discourse, little will be accomplished to move things in the
right direction. This comment is in no way a reflection on your comments.

Thank you for your response.

Pamela