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10 ways to be a better father
I grew up without my father-the **** left before I was born. And I must say I
am 100% fine, completely well adjusted and have no problems with the situation. All these "fatherless" kids will be fine, and if they're not the problem can't simply be dumped at them having no father-that's a cop out. "Robert Gautier" ...-elision for brevity- Continue to strive to be a good role model for your children no matter what the circumstances. Just try to be the best person you can be, for their sake and put them above all else. Sadly when it comes to divorce and separation over 40% of fathers will loose all contact with their children. This is not in anyway a deficiency in the fathers. Testimonies abound of how they have tried against all odds to keep the contact going. Sadly the system today is geared exclusively to extracting maintenance from them and it is more often than not abused and manipulated by vindictive mothers for self serving ends. Eventually this leads to total paternal alienation. Have you guys not heard of the recent spiderman, batman& robin stunts in London ? What do you think they are all about ? If one cares at all about children's welfare it is high time to start taking an interest in fathers rights and not continue to dismiss and ridicule them. In the Western world, one in three marriages end in divorce. Times that by 40% .... That is an awful lot of children who are growing up with no dad to turn to. What effect do you think that is having on them and what impact does it hold for future society? |
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10 ways to be a better father
Tara wrote:
I grew up without my father-the **** left before I was born. And I must say I am 100% fine, completely well adjusted and have no problems with the situation. All these "fatherless" kids will be fine, and if they're not the problem can't simply be dumped at them having no father-that's a cop out. May I suggest you take a logic course sometime? Your nonsense aside, the thing that made me laugh was the father claiming that it was a dad's rights group, not a dad's duties group. Hasn't anyone noticed that rights and duties go hand-in-hand? Wendy |
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10 ways to be a better father
Tara wrote: I grew up without my father-the **** left before I was born. And I must say I am 100% fine, completely well adjusted and have no problems with the situation. All these "fatherless" kids will be fine, and if they're not the problem can't simply be dumped at them having no father-that's a cop out. May I suggest you take a logic course sometime? Your nonsense aside, the thing that made me laugh was the father claiming that it was a dad's rights group, not a dad's duties group. Hasn't anyone noticed that rights and duties go hand-in-hand? Wendy And the relevance of that to what I said...? Sorry I forgot you Yanks can't understand simple things. |
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10 ways to be a better father
"David W." ) writes:
"ChrisScaife" wrote in : Finally someone who is talking sense :-) You can't be a father if you can't be with your kids. But what to do if your ex simply doesn't comply with contact order ? Take her to court again and get another order for her to not comply with ? In many states, when you have a contact (visitation) order from the court, you can call the police and ask them to enforce it. Not all of them, and not one big one, that I was a witness to. NY state will NOT enforce any visitation by use of the cops. My ex wife had such an order, her first ex at one time, denied the court ordered visitation, cops came, by her request, they spoke to the guy, and then... *left*. They said " Take him to court. " And, thats for a *woman* requesting their legal aid... So if you are at your ex's house at the court-appointed time, and she won't let the kids go, the police can come out and "make" her let them go. I assume that means that they give her the choice of letting you take the kids or going to jail. Nope. The *judge* gives them that choice, once you go *back to family court*... In other states, the father is basically screwed if his ex won't comply. And he'd better never be late with a child support payment! Indeed. Fathers get responsibilities, but no rights. Feminists, of course, call that " equality "... *You* have to decide whether the kids are better off with the confrontation, police, and time spent with you, or better off without all the tension and conflict, and without time with you. In many ways, the kids lose either way. And, who's responsible for that ? Mommy and the sexist courts. Its prejudice to blame those who *didn't make that come to pass*, and to NOT balme those who... DID. Andre -- " I'm a man... But, I can change... If I have to... I guess. " The Man Prayer, Red Green. |
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10 ways to be a better father
"Byron Canfield" ) writes:
"Ignoramus4244" wrote in message ... I wonder why this discussion has been hijacked by divorced fathers. Because some divorced fathers harbor guilt over their own role in the divorce, and so have an agenda to make the other side look completely to blame, as though that somehow makes them blameless. After all, a simple desire for equal *rights* can't ever be the case, when its about men wanting something. Congratulations: Your SNAG Pussy award will be mailed to you forthwith, for your kowtowing to the Feminsed ideal of " *always* blame the nearest *man* ! " Plenty of fathers who are reading this thread are not divorced. Then, who's stopping them from commenting ? I am interested in how a married man can be a good father. Point being, a divorced man can only be as much of a dad as the mother *and the Feminised legal system* let him be... Andre -- " I'm a man... But, I can change... If I have to... I guess. " The Man Prayer, Red Green. |
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10 ways to be a better father
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10 ways to be a better father
"David W." ) writes:
(Andre Lieven) wrote in : *You* have to decide whether the kids are better off with the confrontation, police, and time spent with you, or better off without all the tension and conflict, and without time with you. In many ways, the kids lose either way. And, who's responsible for that? Mommy and the sexist courts. Its prejudice to blame those who *didn't make that come to pass*, and to NOT balme those who... DID. Well, I said nothing about fairness or blame. All I said was that you can choose either way, not that any of the choices was great. In millions of cases, there is no available to the guy choice that is any better than awful. For one example, I commend to you the one related in the book " The Divorce From Hell ", by Wendy Dennis. Read it, and then feel free to specify what else that dad could have done... As a father, the best you can do is choose the option that you think is best for the kids. Wrong. As a man, overwhelmed by a Feminised legal system, you do as much as you can, to *try* to be a father to your kids, understanding that your best may be outmatched by their worst... Andre -- " I'm a man... But, I can change... If I have to... I guess. " The Man Prayer, Red Green. |
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10 ways to be a better father
(I've overridden your followup a bit, to put misc.kids back in, as I
don't read the other groups.) On Mon, 17 Nov 2003 17:53:34 -0600, "David W." wrote: In many states, when you have a contact (visitation) order from the court, you can call the police and ask them to enforce it. So if you are at your ex's house at the court-appointed time, and she won't let the kids go, the police can come out and "make" her let them go. I assume that means that they give her the choice of letting you take the kids or going to jail. Unfortunately, that's not what happens, at least not where I live. Since family court is a civil court, the most the police would do when I asked for help to enforce visitation was speak to my ex and encourage him to return our son (which he opted not to do). The officers also saw and spoke with our son to ensure he was okay. The officers were very polite to me and encouraged me to contact the court for resolution, because that was the limit of their authority. *You* have to decide whether the kids are better off with the confrontation, police, and time spent with you, or better off without all the tension and conflict, and without time with you. In many ways, the kids lose either way. I hope there's a middle ground for most people, where non-custodial parents (or joint-custodial parents in a disagreement over parenting time, which was the root of my example above) can get to some resolution other than fighting or walking away, but repetetive appearances in family court to ask for aid in enforcing orders is neither an easy nor a cheap process, and it's very wearing. |
#9
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10 ways to be a better father
On Wed, 19 Nov 2003 17:22:26 -0500, Kathy Cole
wrote: I hope there's a middle ground for most people, where non-custodial parents (or joint-custodial parents in a disagreement over parenting time, which was the root of my example above) can get to some resolution other than fighting or walking away, but repetetive appearances in family court to ask for aid in enforcing orders is neither an easy nor a cheap process, and it's very wearing. Why isn't there an arbitration process that can be used instead of court appearances? -- Dorothy There is no sound, no cry in all the world that can be heard unless someone listens .. The Outer Limits |
#10
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10 ways to be a better father
toto wrote:
On Wed, 19 Nov 2003 17:22:26 -0500, Kathy Cole wrote: I hope there's a middle ground for most people, where non-custodial parents (or joint-custodial parents in a disagreement over parenting time, which was the root of my example above) can get to some resolution other than fighting or walking away, but repetetive appearances in family court to ask for aid in enforcing orders is neither an easy nor a cheap process, and it's very wearing. Why isn't there an arbitration process that can be used instead of court appearances? Dorothy They ought to just give up violating the child's rights by forcing custody to either parent. Bob |
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