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A slant on spanking
A different slant on spanking
By: Meyerhoff, Michael K Volume: 19 Number: 8 ISSN: 07306725 Publication Date: 01-01-2001 Page: 8 Type: Periodical Language: English Perspectives on Parenting If you are an alert parent, you probably have surmised that professionals in the field of psychology have reached something of a consensus on the subject of spanking. I refer here to a swat on the bottom with a hand, not hitting the child with any sort of object and no hitting hard enough to cause much more than a loss of dignity. Thanks to numerous reports that have appeared in the popular media, it now seems as though there is overwhelming evidence to suggest that spanking is a highly detrimental practice which not only is largely ineffective, but also leads inevitably to some degree of emotional damage. Today, mothers and fathers are aware that any type of corporal punishment is likely to be viewed as child abuse by those who are authorities on the subject of early development. Well, I guess that forces me to stand apart from the crowd. In my opinion, this across-the-board condemnation of spanking is based more on personal attitudes than professional studies. And whatever professional studies may be involved tend to lack a great deal of credibility due to either built-in biases or faulty research techniques. I have yet to see anything so substantial and convincing that it would cause me to jump on the anti-spanking bandwagon. Most of the assumptions and assertions I've seen about the alleged negative effects of spanking on a young child's mind set are plagued by what I refer to as "adultomorphism." The experience is interpreted through the mental and emotional processes of an adult - mental and emotional processes that are entirely different than those employed by a young child. It is highly inappropriate to project one's own thoughts and feelings into the heart and head of a two-year-old; and most conclusions drawn as a result are highly likely to be grossly erroneous. With regard to the studies that appear to demonstrate the long-term detrimental effects of spanking, most that I've seen suffer from limited focus. For example, many report something like "85% of the inmates doing time on death row in a federal prison were spanked when they were young children." What is not noticed, much less investigated, is that 85% of the graduates of Harvard Medical School were spanked when they were young children as well. Meanwhile, my anti-anti-spanking position is not without solid support. As a researcher with the Harvard Preschool Project, I had the opportunity to participate in the most comprehensive and extensive study of early development ever performed. Furthermore, I had the opportunity to look at experiences that produced "optimal" outcomes as well as those that produced "problems." We had no pre-set notions. We merely observed what happened in families of all kinds. One of the things we discovered was that in two out of three families where children were developing into bright, happy, well-adjusted, responsible people, the kids were spanked from time to time - especially in the period from about 18 months to three years of age. The spankings were not frequent, nor were they brutal, and they never involved paddles, switches, belts, or any other such equipment. However, a swat on the behind or a slap on the wrist was not an uncommon occurrence. What we learned is that discipline is a critically important part of promoting optimal development, and that effective discipline during this particular period is quite difficult. In order to teach a child to be personally safe and respectful of others, it is necessary to "speak" to the child in a "language" he truly understands. And given the limited cognitive capacities of a toddler, a small spanking often results in a considerably better "education" than a prolonged discussion. Now, I will also distance myself from the "spare the rod, spoil the child" crowd. After all, we found that one in three families managed to get through even this difficult period without spanking. Clearly, depending upon the child and the circumstances, it is possible to be effective with other-than-corporal procedures. But it is equally clear that with a lot of children in a lot of circumstances, spanking is preferable to disciplinary techniques that just aren't working or no discipline at all. So please note that I am not recommending that all parents place spanking in their arsenal of child-- rearing techniques. On the contrary, I always urge mothers and fathers to take steps to avoid as many confrontations with their young child as possible, and then attempt to deal with those that inevitably occur with whatever non-corporal methods may reasonably be thought to have a genuinely educational impact. Nevertheless, I recognize there are situations where a spanking just may be the best thing for that particular parent to do for their particular child at that particular time. So, if your little one starts to stick a fork in an electrical outlet and you slap his wrist, or if he let' s go of your hand so he can rush into heavy traffic and you give him a swat on the bottom as you pull him back, don't beat yourself up. And don't let the dirty looks you get from holier-than-- thou bystanders or the condemnations from pop psychologists on TV talk shows convince you that you've done irreparable damage to your child's psyche. Just make sure that the spankings aren't coming along too often or getting out of hand. Otherwise, if you are a loving, caring, sensible parent, I would suggest that you keep in mind the following adage that was formulated by the late Dr. Louise Bates Ames, a wise, sweet, gentle woman who was the director of the Gesell Institute for several decades and regarded as one of the world's foremost authorities on early education and development: "If you plan on never spanking your child, you'll probably end up doing it the proper number of times." By Michael K. Meyerhoff, Ed. D. Michael K. Meyerhoff, Ed.D., is executive director of The Epicenter Inc., "The Education for Parenthood Information Center," a family advisory and advocacy agency located in Lindenhurst, Illinois. His e-mail address is . Meyerhoff, Michael K, A different slant on spanking. , Pediatrics for Parents, 01-01-2001, pp 8. |
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