AP and new sibling

My DH and I get alot of "concern" from people about how we are raising
our DS and how he is going to react to his new Sister (we just found out
on Monday). They seem to think since he has had so much attention and
is still bf and still co-sleeps with us that it's going to be a big
problem. Sear's website says that because he's had his needs met he
will have the ability to deal w/ the frustration. What have peoples
experiences been? DS will be 26 months old when the new baby comes.

I'm also concerned about how he is going to handle Mumma being away at
the hospital. He's never been away from us. If all goes well pappa
will be there but there is a chance he will have to spend one night w/o
both of us. He still nurses to sleep and when he wakes up. He takes a
nap at Daycare but there he has Miss Rose and she won't be there either.
With luck he will have his Judy (the neighbor across the street that
use to watch him and loves him to death).

My DS I used to think was very high need but after reading stories from
other parents of highneed children I'm not so sure. He is VERY active.
Most common comment "Gee, he's busy isn't he". The words sit and
still do not apply to him. He is a very happy child most of the time
and very interested in everything. It's only since he was 18months old
that he started to sit still for a story to be read to him. He can
actually sit through all of Green Eggs and Ham,even The Cat in the Hat
and The Cat in the Hat Comes Back. Other than that he's a body in motion.

His is not a patient child. I've been trying to make him wait a bit
more so he doesn't associate that with his sister. If he really want's
to nurse nothing will dis-swade him. I'm not sure how he's going to
handle sharing mumma's boobs with a sister. He's not really crazy about
me having other children on my lap but I keep doing it so he get's use
to the idea.

Is there anything else I can to to prepare him? He really doesn't seem
to get the idea of sister at this point. I've been trying to read some
books to him about being a big brother and he's starting to sit for them.

I hope everyone's concern is unwarrented cause I would hate being told
"I told you so" when I really feel AP is best for my DS.

Thanks for any assistance or hope you might provide.

LB
--
Lisa L.W. Besko SCNC Voice : 517-432-4040
Systems Analyst SCNC E-mail :
SCNC Support Voice : 517-355-4500 x.195
Michigan State University E-Mail :

Lisa Besko wrote,

DS will be 26 months old when the new baby comes.

That is the age difference between my two boys, and my older son was still
nursing when my younger son came along. In fact, your son sounds very much
like my older son at the same age, except that we had nightweaned him and put
him in his own bed at 18 months (he was a frequent nighttime nurser and in my
newly pregnant state, I couldn't stand it).

We were worried about him spending a night away from us at the time of his
brother's birth but fortunately that did not have to happen (Matthew was born
at 11:28 AM). In retrospect, he would have been fine. He might have cried a
bit but he would have been safe and with people he knew and loved.

None of the other worries on your list were ever a problem with us. Tandem
nursing went fine and Will never seemed to mind or even notice that he was
sharing with Matthew.

You don't know now exactly how things will work out because you don't know your
little girl's personality yet, but I think you will find that things work out
just fine. Children are resilient.

My advice to you is: (1) get caller ID so you can screen out the calls from
your "concerned" friends and family who are clueless about AP, and (2) try to
avoid nursing during labor if at all possible--it is REALLY painful.

BTW, my sons are very good friends, which I think can at least partly be
attributed to their having tandem nursed for 17 months.

Mary Ellen
William (8)
Matthew (6)
Margaret (nearly 2!)

Lisa Besko wrote:
My DH and I get alot of "concern" from people about how we are raising
our DS and how he is going to react to his new Sister (we just found
out on Monday). They seem to think since he has had so much
attention and is still bf and still co-sleeps with us that it's going
to be a big problem.

I weaned Hunter when I was 5 months pg so he was no longer nursing but he
was co-sleeping and a velcro child in every other way...even at 24 months
when his brother was born. *I* was worried how he'd handle it. He did
great. It was all great. He loved and accepted his baby brother from the
get go! I'll be more in depth about some of your specific points.

I'm also concerned about how he is going to handle Mumma being away at
the hospital. He's never been away from us.

Hunter had not been away from me over night either. He got a little sleep
deprived but he did OK with it. Steve collected him from the sitter at
about 10:30pm and then they came to see me at the hospital the next morning.
I left the next day so I only spent one night in the hospital.

His is not a patient child. I've been trying to make him wait a bit
more so he doesn't associate that with his sister. .............He's not
really
crazy about me having other children on my lap but I keep doing it so
he get's use to the idea.

Hunter flipped his lid when I had other kids or babies on my lap. He just
*knew* that his baby brother belonged there though. He didn't have any
problem at all with me holding and nursing the baby. I didn't tandem so
I've no input there. I found the teaching to wait and be patient worked
much better when he could plainly see that I had a baby and was doing
something. Before hand, it was just meaningless to him. He never let dh do
*anything* for him but when he saw the baby on my lap he happily went to sit
with dh or whatever. It was actually kind of good for him in that sense.
Sleeping remained difficult because he would try to stay up until I could be
with him while he fell asleep but he was crying or inpatient with it...just
stubborn about it :-) Also, I could not safely manage to sleep with both
the newborn and Hunter (mainly due to Hunter's sleeping habits and my
exhaustion) and Hunter was definatly not happy to have to sleep with his dad
instead of me. He cried a bit for about 10 days over that. :-( Once I
could do it safely we started cosleeping again.

Is there anything else I can to to prepare him? He really doesn't
seem to get the idea of sister at this point. I've been trying to
read some books to him about being a big brother and he's starting to
sit for them.

Hunter never made any indication he knew what I was talking about when I
talked about the baby. He never said baby, never touched my stomach,
nothing. I did mention it at least once a day in the end, when he could see
my tummy. I never said much about it before he could see my tummy. I
talked about how I would take care of the baby (nurse and hold etc.). I
called it his baby brother a lot (we knew the sex). We set up the crib and
got the baby gear out about 6 weeks ahead of time. He went to most of my
appt. He came to the hospital to bring the baby a balloon (Hunter really
liked balloons). He got a baby doll of his own at the hospital. He got
presents and got to open the babies presents. I let him hold the baby
whenever he wanted in the beginning...and that was a lot. I think it really
helped though and I was lucky in that the baby didn't mind.

Good luck!!

--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2)

Thanks Larry. You are always filled with advice and support.

I'm not sure Marshall actually get's the concept of Mumma has a baby in
her tummy or that he's getting a sister. We have a few months yet to
work on it.

I haven't had alot of luck finding AP parents in Lansing, MI so if
anyone is out there speak up.

I tried LLL once but it meets to late for my taste and working half time
eliminates the day time ones. I may try it again.

We haven't tried taking him to our OB visits. It's hard to pay
attention to what Doc has to say with him bouncing around. Our family
dr. has already told me I'm not allowed to bring him to the office by
myself (yes she was joking, she's actually my best source of support for
AP) but when I go in and he's not bouncing off the walls she worries and
rushes us right in.

Thanks again,

LB

Larry McMahan wrote:
Hi Lisa,

We are pretty AP parents, and our second was born when the older was
22 months old.

Lisa Besko writes:
: My DH and I get alot of "concern" from people about how we are raising
: our DS and how he is going to react to his new Sister (we just found out
: on Monday). They seem to think since he has had so much attention and
: is still bf and still co-sleeps with us that it's going to be a big
: problem. Sear's website says that because he's had his needs met he
: will have the ability to deal w/ the frustration. What have peoples
: experiences been? DS will be 26 months old when the new baby comes.

WTP? We told Clara about the new baby as soon as she found out. She
was *THRILLED* that we were going to have a new baby. She went to
ALL the midwife visits, and would remember if the midwife forgot to
check something!

: I'm also concerned about how he is going to handle Mumma being away at
: the hospital. He's never been away from us. If all goes well pappa
: will be there but there is a chance he will have to spend one night w/o
: both of us. He still nurses to sleep and when he wakes up. He takes a
: nap at Daycare but there he has Miss Rose and she won't be there either.
: With luck he will have his Judy (the neighbor across the street that
: use to watch him and loves him to death).

OK. We had it much easier because we had a home birth. She was asleep
in her room until it was almost time to push, then she came in to "help"
She was like a little sports announcer. "The head is out, the shoulders
are out, the baby is out." Yeah, duh, like we handn't noticed! :-)

You can read Niels birth story at
http://home.comcast.net/~l.mcmahan/niel.html.

: My DS I used to think was very high need but after reading stories from
: other parents of highneed children I'm not so sure. He is VERY active.
: Most common comment "Gee, he's busy isn't he". The words sit and
: still do not apply to him. He is a very happy child most of the time
: and very interested in everything. It's only since he was 18months old
: that he started to sit still for a story to be read to him. He can
: actually sit through all of Green Eggs and Ham,even The Cat in the Hat
: and The Cat in the Hat Comes Back. Other than that he's a body in motion.

Sounds pretty normal.

: His is not a patient child. I've been trying to make him wait a bit
: more so he doesn't associate that with his sister. If he really want's
: to nurse nothing will dis-swade him. I'm not sure how he's going to
: handle sharing mumma's boobs with a sister. He's not really crazy about
: me having other children on my lap but I keep doing it so he get's use
: to the idea.

Hmm. How much do you talk about the new baby comeing? You can tell him
that he can help with the baby, but he is also going to have to let the
baby go first (on the boob) since it is smaller and can't eat grown-up
food. Worked for us.

: Is there anything else I can to to prepare him? He really doesn't seem
: to get the idea of sister at this point. I've been trying to read some
: books to him about being a big brother and he's starting to sit for them.

We found some good preganancy books with pictures, and we let Clara watch
the birth videos the midwife gave us.

: I hope everyone's concern is unwarrented cause I would hate being told
: "I told you so" when I really feel AP is best for my DS.

You need to find or start an AP playgroup in your area. There is strength
in numbers. Besides these are the most helpful people to have around for
favors when a new baby comes. :-)

: Thanks for any assistance or hope you might provide.

: LB
: --
: Lisa L.W. Besko SCNC Voice : 517-432-4040
: Systems Analyst SCNC E-mail :
: SCNC Support Voice : 517-355-4500 x.195
: Michigan State University E-Mail :


Good luck,
Larry

--
Lisa L.W. Besko SCNC Voice : 517-432-4040
Systems Analyst SCNC E-mail :
SCNC Support Voice : 517-355-4500 x.195
Michigan State University E-Mail :

"Lisa Besko" wrote in message
...
My DH and I get alot of "concern" from people about how we are raising
our DS and how he is going to react to his new Sister (we just found out
on Monday). They seem to think since he has had so much attention and
is still bf and still co-sleeps with us that it's going to be a big
problem. Sear's website says that because he's had his needs met he
will have the ability to deal w/ the frustration. What have peoples
experiences been? DS will be 26 months old when the new baby comes.

My oldest was 3 days shy of his second birthday when our daughter was born.
Although co-sleeping didn't work for us, we were fairly strongly AP in many
respects and I continued to breastfeed him throughout the pregnancy and
tandem-nursed after Aurora was born. I have to say that the transition was
MUCH easier for him than it was for my daughter when my youngest was born
(she was 2y7m and had been weaned 4 months earlier).

I think part of the reason it was easier was that Julian loved Aurora almost
from the get-go because she brought the milk back; ah, you should have seen
his expression when it switched from colostrum to copious milk--he was
ecstatic g! You may find your son is more accepting of the new baby when
he realizes there's more milk now. But also, I don't think he was really old
enough to appreciate how much having a sibling was changing his life. And
now, he doesn't even know what life is like *without* a sibling, as he
certainly doesn't remember being an only before she was born.

We did have some problems later on when he was 2.5 and she was 6 months old.
I think as she got older and could do more, he saw her as more of a rival.
This mostly took the form of pushing the baby over when she was sitting on
the floor and stuff like that--not bad enough to hurt her seriously in most
cases and pretty normal, IMO, and it *did* pass within a few months.

I'm also concerned about how he is going to handle Mumma being away at
the hospital. He's never been away from us. If all goes well pappa
will be there but there is a chance he will have to spend one night w/o
both of us. He still nurses to sleep and when he wakes up.

I was a bit concerned about this when I was pregnant with Aurora, too. We'd
gotten Julian to give up nursing to sleep several months before she was
born, but he was still used to nursing in the morning. As it turned out, I
went to the hospital at around 8am--nursing Julian at 7am as usual while in
active labor, BTW--and she was born at 10:15 am. My MIL (who was watching
him that day as she usually did while I was at work) brought him to the
hospital around 11:30. That night, my mother stayed with me in the hospital
to help me and my husband went home with Julian. But, of course, you can't
*count* on lucking out like this.

I'll add that when our third was born, my older two children as well as my
mother, nephew, and best friend accompanied us to the hospital and were
present for the birth. He was born at 10:20 pm, and my mother took my older
two home and stayed with them that night. No problems--they were conked out
by the time they got home anyway.

His is not a patient child. I've been trying to make him wait a bit
more so he doesn't associate that with his sister. If he really want's
to nurse nothing will dis-swade him. I'm not sure how he's going to
handle sharing mumma's boobs with a sister. He's not really crazy about
me having other children on my lap but I keep doing it so he get's use
to the idea.

I think one of the things you have to remember is that, by the time your new
baby arrives, your son won't be at the stage he's at now. I'm assuming
you're about midway through your pregnancy, which means it'll be another 4-5
months before the baby comes. Your son is going to change A LOT in those 4-5
months. Think about what he was like 4-5 months ago compared to now in terms
of what he could do, how well he could communicate, etc. and realize that
you'll see just as much change between now and your baby's birth as between
then and now. I think this is the hardest thing, in some ways, about
figuring out how you'll deal with the new situation when it arrives--you're
trying to plan based on how things are now, but the situation is really too
fluid for that. Instead, you'll find you make it up as you go along once the
baby arrives.

Is there anything else I can to to prepare him? He really doesn't seem
to get the idea of sister at this point. I've been trying to read some
books to him about being a big brother and he's starting to sit for them.

Honestly, unlike Larry, we were never able to get either of our children to
understand what a new sibling meant when they were in the 20-30 month age
range. It was all just a bit too abstract for them. But I honestly don't
believe they *truly* understood that there was going to be a baby and that
that baby was going to come and live with us for ever and ever (or at least
until everyone grows up G!) until after the baby was born, came home, and
didn't leave!

I hope everyone's concern is unwarrented cause I would hate being told
"I told you so" when I really feel AP is best for my DS.

Well, I've honestly *never* seen a toddler who didn't have *some* level of
negative reaction to the arrival of a new sibling. It varies in intensity
and expression based on the personalities of the kids and parents involved
much more, IMO, than on parenting style. So don't let people guilt you into
believing that any problems you encounter are somehow *your* fault for
choosing to parent a particular way.
--
Be well, Barbara
(Julian [6], Aurora [4], and Vernon's [17mo] mom)
"Nobody died when Clinton lied." -- freeway sign

This week's special at the English Language Butcher Shop:
"They walk with an unsteady, shambling gate." -- Article in the San Diego
Union Tribune

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman

Nikki,

Thanks for the encouraging words. Hunter sounds similar to Marshall. I
only make Marshall wait when I am acutally doing something like eating
dinner, going to the potty..... I dont' see the point if I'm not busy.

Actually Marshall has almost always slept on Pappa's side of the bed. I
can't relax with him next to me and it let's him connect w/ Dad during
the night. He's usually quite happy to be with my DH. If he want's one
or the other of us it's usually for a reason.

I hope we get lucky like you. You give me hope.

LB

Nikki wrote:
Lisa Besko wrote:

My DH and I get alot of "concern" from people about how we are raising
our DS and how he is going to react to his new Sister (we just found
out on Monday). They seem to think since he has had so much
attention and is still bf and still co-sleeps with us that it's going
to be a big problem.


I weaned Hunter when I was 5 months pg so he was no longer nursing but he
was co-sleeping and a velcro child in every other way...even at 24 months
when his brother was born. *I* was worried how he'd handle it. He did
great. It was all great. He loved and accepted his baby brother from the
get go! I'll be more in depth about some of your specific points.


I'm also concerned about how he is going to handle Mumma being away at
the hospital. He's never been away from us.


Hunter had not been away from me over night either. He got a little sleep
deprived but he did OK with it. Steve collected him from the sitter at
about 10:30pm and then they came to see me at the hospital the next morning.
I left the next day so I only spent one night in the hospital.


His is not a patient child. I've been trying to make him wait a bit
more so he doesn't associate that with his sister. .............He's not

really

crazy about me having other children on my lap but I keep doing it so
he get's use to the idea.


Hunter flipped his lid when I had other kids or babies on my lap. He just
*knew* that his baby brother belonged there though. He didn't have any
problem at all with me holding and nursing the baby. I didn't tandem so
I've no input there. I found the teaching to wait and be patient worked
much better when he could plainly see that I had a baby and was doing
something. Before hand, it was just meaningless to him. He never let dh do
*anything* for him but when he saw the baby on my lap he happily went to sit
with dh or whatever. It was actually kind of good for him in that sense.
Sleeping remained difficult because he would try to stay up until I could be
with him while he fell asleep but he was crying or inpatient with it...just
stubborn about it :-) Also, I could not safely manage to sleep with both
the newborn and Hunter (mainly due to Hunter's sleeping habits and my
exhaustion) and Hunter was definatly not happy to have to sleep with his dad
instead of me. He cried a bit for about 10 days over that. :-( Once I
could do it safely we started cosleeping again.


Is there anything else I can to to prepare him? He really doesn't
seem to get the idea of sister at this point. I've been trying to
read some books to him about being a big brother and he's starting to
sit for them.


Hunter never made any indication he knew what I was talking about when I
talked about the baby. He never said baby, never touched my stomach,
nothing. I did mention it at least once a day in the end, when he could see
my tummy. I never said much about it before he could see my tummy. I
talked about how I would take care of the baby (nurse and hold etc.). I
called it his baby brother a lot (we knew the sex). We set up the crib and
got the baby gear out about 6 weeks ahead of time. He went to most of my
appt. He came to the hospital to bring the baby a balloon (Hunter really
liked balloons). He got a baby doll of his own at the hospital. He got
presents and got to open the babies presents. I let him hold the baby
whenever he wanted in the beginning...and that was a lot. I think it really
helped though and I was lucky in that the baby didn't mind.

Good luck!!

--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2)



--
Lisa L.W. Besko SCNC Voice : 517-432-4040
Systems Analyst SCNC E-mail :
SCNC Support Voice : 517-355-4500 x.195
Michigan State University E-Mail :

Hi Lisa,

We are pretty AP parents, and our second was born when the older was
22 months old.

Lisa Besko writes:
: My DH and I get alot of "concern" from people about how we are raising
: our DS and how he is going to react to his new Sister (we just found out
: on Monday). They seem to think since he has had so much attention and
: is still bf and still co-sleeps with us that it's going to be a big
: problem. Sear's website says that because he's had his needs met he
: will have the ability to deal w/ the frustration. What have peoples
: experiences been? DS will be 26 months old when the new baby comes.

WTP? We told Clara about the new baby as soon as she found out. She
was *THRILLED* that we were going to have a new baby. She went to
ALL the midwife visits, and would remember if the midwife forgot to
check something!

: I'm also concerned about how he is going to handle Mumma being away at
: the hospital. He's never been away from us. If all goes well pappa
: will be there but there is a chance he will have to spend one night w/o
: both of us. He still nurses to sleep and when he wakes up. He takes a
: nap at Daycare but there he has Miss Rose and she won't be there either.
: With luck he will have his Judy (the neighbor across the street that
: use to watch him and loves him to death).

OK. We had it much easier because we had a home birth. She was asleep
in her room until it was almost time to push, then she came in to "help"
She was like a little sports announcer. "The head is out, the shoulders
are out, the baby is out." Yeah, duh, like we handn't noticed! :-)

You can read Niels birth story at
http://home.comcast.net/~l.mcmahan/niel.html.

: My DS I used to think was very high need but after reading stories from
: other parents of highneed children I'm not so sure. He is VERY active.
: Most common comment "Gee, he's busy isn't he". The words sit and
: still do not apply to him. He is a very happy child most of the time
: and very interested in everything. It's only since he was 18months old
: that he started to sit still for a story to be read to him. He can
: actually sit through all of Green Eggs and Ham,even The Cat in the Hat
: and The Cat in the Hat Comes Back. Other than that he's a body in motion.

Sounds pretty normal.

: His is not a patient child. I've been trying to make him wait a bit
: more so he doesn't associate that with his sister. If he really want's
: to nurse nothing will dis-swade him. I'm not sure how he's going to
: handle sharing mumma's boobs with a sister. He's not really crazy about
: me having other children on my lap but I keep doing it so he get's use
: to the idea.

Hmm. How much do you talk about the new baby comeing? You can tell him
that he can help with the baby, but he is also going to have to let the
baby go first (on the boob) since it is smaller and can't eat grown-up
food. Worked for us.

: Is there anything else I can to to prepare him? He really doesn't seem
: to get the idea of sister at this point. I've been trying to read some
: books to him about being a big brother and he's starting to sit for them.

We found some good preganancy books with pictures, and we let Clara watch
the birth videos the midwife gave us.

: I hope everyone's concern is unwarrented cause I would hate being told
: "I told you so" when I really feel AP is best for my DS.

You need to find or start an AP playgroup in your area. There is strength
in numbers. Besides these are the most helpful people to have around for
favors when a new baby comes. :-)

: Thanks for any assistance or hope you might provide.

: LB
: --
: Lisa L.W. Besko SCNC Voice : 517-432-4040
: Systems Analyst SCNC E-mail :
: SCNC Support Voice : 517-355-4500 x.195
: Michigan State University E-Mail :


Good luck,
Larry

In article , Lisa Besko
writes:

Is there anything else I can to to prepare him? He really doesn't seem
to get the idea of sister at this point. I've been trying to read some
books to him about being a big brother and he's starting to sit for them.

I hope everyone's concern is unwarrented cause I would hate being told
"I told you so" when I really feel AP is best for my DS.

Thanks for any assistance or hope you might provide.

You guys sound VERY much like we were when we got pg the second time around.
We got all that "advice" as well.

I read somewhere not to tell very young siblings about the baby too far in
advance. Phooey on that for us. Pretty soon after we found out we were pg, I
began telling DS that he was going to have a baby brother or sister. He was
going to be 2 yrs, 3 mo when the baby was due.

We watched birthing shows on tv like "A Baby Story." He loved them. Still
likes to watch although the thrill is gone for me now. I kept him informed as
my belly grew, told him that sometimes momma was tired or felt sick, especially
while nursing. I let him help me pick out a few things for the baby, such as
the co-sleeper crib and a couple outfits.

I told him that I'd have to go to the hospital and spend the nite but that
Granny and Grandaddy would be with him. Knowing in advance helped b/c he had
never spent the nite away from us. He was all very fine with it when the time
came, and the time came a month earlier than expected.

Once the baby came, I still tried to keep him involved with baby baths,
changing diapers, choosing outfits for the baby to wear, letting him take
pictures, etc. The transition has been much easier than we imagined and he's a
really good big brother!

Oh, and we got a t-shirt that says, "I'm the Big Brother" and wrapped it and
had it waiting in my hospital room the first time he came to see his brother.
We told him it was from his brother and he was thrilled that his brother came
complete with a gift. He still enjoys wearing it 4 months later.

A couple things to caution you about, but certainly YMMV:
1) you may miss him more than he misses you when you stay in the hospital
2) depending on how he reacts, you may decide to let DH stay at home with him
after the first nite, depending on how you feel and who is available to help.
3) You could feel an overwhelming sense of "What did I do????" kind of guilt
for bringing another life into a world that was so fun and perfect with just
the one kid, but you'll get over that quickly (I hope). Only one person
mentioned this possibility to me prior to birth and boy, did it hit me. I was
sure glad someone had mentioned that it was possible I'd feel that way, even
for a moment.
4) Try not to put off meeting his needs by saying, "I can't right now; I have
to tend to your brother." Of course that's how it will be, but think of ways
to phrase it that will be more appealing to your child so that he will not
resent the new baby. Something like, "If you give me a few minutes to finish
nursing Baby, I'll happily make you a sandwich."

Good luck! I think the age gap you will have will be good. So far it's worked
well for us, anyway.

koa
Still nursing James, 02/06/01
EP'ing for Joey 04/02/03 (BCP)

WTP? We told Clara about the new baby as soon as she found out. She
was *THRILLED* that we were going to have a new baby. She went to
ALL the midwife visits, and would remember if the midwife forgot to
check something!

I meant to address this as well in my earilier post.

I took DS with me to several appointments but at some point he decided he was
scared. He liked to hear the heartbeat one appt, then suddenly he freaked when
the nurse tried to take my blood pressure. He was not interested in the
ultrasound.

If you can, take your first child to the appointments. If all goes well, you
can continue doing that with no problem.

I asked DS if he wanted to see the baby come out of his mommy and he said NO,
even after seeing tons of babies born on tv. I figured he would probably be
scared if I cried out in labor, so we kept him at home with my parents. In
retrospect, I sorta wish we'd kept him there longer, at least until he asked to
go home or we saw him get too uncomfortable. The baby was born just after
midnite, though, so he probably wouldn't have lasted that long without being
really cranky, unless he fell asleep.

koa
Still nursing James, 02/06/01
EP'ing for Joey 04/02/03 (BCP)

In article ZnS_a.31$Qy4.29@fed1read05, "Circe" writes:

I think part of the reason it was easier was that Julian loved Aurora almost
from the get-go because she brought the milk back; ah, you should have seen
his expression when it switched from colostrum to copious milk--he was
ecstatic g!

DS didn't quite know what was going on when this happened. Things went from me
saying, "Hurry up and finish" during nite nursings to waking him up in the
middle of the nite saying, "Please nurse me" to relieve engorgement. But he
did know that the milk was YUMMY again.

koa
Still nursing James, 02/06/01
EP'ing for Joey 04/02/03 (BCP)