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Trick or Treating Part2



 
 
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  #1  
Old October 9th 06, 01:34 PM posted to misc.kids.moderated
beachpeach
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Posts: 4
Default Trick or Treating Part2

I've read the trick or treat thread with interest. I'm curious about
parental attendance while trick or treating. At what age do most of
your folks think is acceptable/appropriate for kids to knock on doors
with mom or dad? We live in a HUGE neighborhood where we know most of
the people. It's very family oriented and the houses are bult very
close to each other (just trying to give a description). DD is going
to be 12, the day after Halloween and she is in 7th grade; just started
middle school. She hasn't asked to go alone (yet) but I expect her to
at any moment :-)

We've always had it that her dad took her around with or without a
friend or they've traveled in groups with other kids and parents. I'm
thinking Dad still needs to be with her another year or two. It's not
her that I don't trust....you know? My intellect tells me that there
are a bunch of kids out with parents, we've lived in this neighborhood
for almost 8 years, she can take a cell phone and yada yada yada. But
my gut says, go with dad.

I hand out the candy at home and make a cake for her birthday.

Thanks in advance.

  #2  
Old October 9th 06, 06:35 PM posted to misc.kids.moderated
Louise
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Posts: 19
Default Trick or Treating Part2

On Mon, 9 Oct 2006 08:34:21 EDT, "beachpeach"
wrote:

I've read the trick or treat thread with interest. I'm curious about
parental attendance while trick or treating. At what age do most of
your folks think is acceptable/appropriate for kids to knock on doors
with mom or dad?


By the time our older child was 10 or so, our kids went out in a clump
in our neighbourhood with another family or two and *someone's*
parent(s) strolling along behind. This was a step beyond just doing
it as a nuclear family. When each reached 12 and grade 7 (middle
school), one went out with a group chaperoned by a friend's older
sister, in the friend's neighbourhood, and the other went with a group
of sensible friends and no parents in our neighbourhood. We always
drove them to and from the rendezvous/departure house, and had some
rules about when they'd be off the streets and when we'd pick them up.
As they got older, we also made our house available for the
scary-movie-watching and sleepovers that their festivities turned
into.

For comparison, at the ages they were going out for Hallowe'en without
a parent, they were starting to go a few blocks to the library or
grocery store after dark with another kid the same age but not alone.
Some of their friends were still chauffeured everywhere, and years
from being allowed/required to walk. Some of their friends' parents
had very gender-based rules, such as "You have to get a boy to walk
you home" which seemed odd to us. We didn't have cell phones, but we
did talk with our kids about where the pay phones were, and they
carried quarters. They didn't carry UNICEF charity boxes except when
they were young enough to have a parent with them.

Louise

  #3  
Old October 10th 06, 04:43 PM posted to misc.kids.moderated
Rosalie B.
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 984
Default Trick or Treating Part2

"beachpeach" wrote:

I've read the trick or treat thread with interest. I'm curious about
parental attendance while trick or treating. At what age do most of
your folks think is acceptable/appropriate for kids to knock on doors
with mom or dad? We live in a HUGE neighborhood where we know most of
the people. It's very family oriented and the houses are bult very
close to each other (just trying to give a description). DD is going
to be 12, the day after Halloween and she is in 7th grade; just started
middle school. She hasn't asked to go alone (yet) but I expect her to
at any moment :-)

We've always had it that her dad took her around with or without a
friend or they've traveled in groups with other kids and parents. I'm
thinking Dad still needs to be with her another year or two. It's not
her that I don't trust....you know? My intellect tells me that there
are a bunch of kids out with parents, we've lived in this neighborhood
for almost 8 years, she can take a cell phone and yada yada yada. But
my gut says, go with dad.

I hand out the candy at home and make a cake for her birthday.

Thanks in advance.


I'm thinking of this from a different perspective.

He may want to go. His little girl is growing up after all and this
is possibly the last time for him to do this. If he does, then let
him go with her, or at least wander along behind if she objects.



  #4  
Old October 11th 06, 02:27 AM posted to misc.kids.moderated
beachpeach
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 4
Default Trick or Treating Part2


Rosalie B. wrote:
"beachpeach" wrote:

I've read the trick or treat thread with interest. I'm curious about
parental attendance while trick or treating. At what age do most of
your folks think is acceptable/appropriate for kids to knock on doors
with mom or dad? We live in a HUGE neighborhood where we know most of
the people. It's very family oriented and the houses are bult very
close to each other (just trying to give a description). DD is going
to be 12, the day after Halloween and she is in 7th grade; just started
middle school. She hasn't asked to go alone (yet) but I expect her to
at any moment :-)

We've always had it that her dad took her around with or without a
friend or they've traveled in groups with other kids and parents. I'm
thinking Dad still needs to be with her another year or two. It's not
her that I don't trust....you know? My intellect tells me that there
are a bunch of kids out with parents, we've lived in this neighborhood
for almost 8 years, she can take a cell phone and yada yada yada. But
my gut says, go with dad.

I hand out the candy at home and make a cake for her birthday.

Thanks in advance.


I'm thinking of this from a different perspective.

He may want to go. His little girl is growing up after all and this
is possibly the last time for him to do this. If he does, then let



him go with her, or at least wander along behind if she objects.


Oh my gosh; did I ever give the wrong impression! I want him to go. I
don't want her to go without him or atleast another adult! It's not
her that I don't trust. It's a car that is driving too fast as she's
crossing the street, older teens who are out with cartons of eggs or
any other icky stuff that happens in life. I want him to go with our
daughter and I want to be fair about it. I don't want to be overly
protective ( I tend to be- I'm a social worker and my sister is a
public defender; that does tend to color our world :-)

I would have him trick or treat with her until 12th grade if it were my
choice :-)

He and I talked about it last night and he said that pretty much stays
in teh background. If she objects, we talked about him staying in the
background X 2. I'm just not comfortable letting go yet.

Thanks for your response...and to the other poster too!

  #5  
Old October 11th 06, 10:31 PM posted to misc.kids.moderated
Rosalie B.
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 984
Default Trick or Treating Part2

"beachpeach" wrote:

Rosalie B. wrote:

I'm thinking of this from a different perspective.

He may want to go. His little girl is growing up after all and this
is possibly the last time for him to do this. If he does, then let



him go with her, or at least wander along behind if she objects.


Oh my gosh; did I ever give the wrong impression! I want him to go. I
don't want her to go without him or atleast another adult! It's not


I realized that you wanted him to go with her. I was basically asking
you whether he might ALSO want to go with her. That was what I meant
by looking at it from a different perspective. His perspective rather
than yours or hers.

her that I don't trust. It's a car that is driving too fast as she's
crossing the street, older teens who are out with cartons of eggs or
any other icky stuff that happens in life. I want him to go with our
daughter and I want to be fair about it. I don't want to be overly
protective ( I tend to be- I'm a social worker and my sister is a
public defender; that does tend to color our world :-)

I would have him trick or treat with her until 12th grade if it were my
choice :-)

He and I talked about it last night and he said that pretty much stays
in teh background. If she objects, we talked about him staying in the
background X 2. I'm just not comfortable letting go yet.

Thanks for your response...and to the other poster too!


  #6  
Old October 12th 06, 04:25 PM posted to misc.kids.moderated
Banty
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,278
Default Trick or Treating Part2

In article , Rosalie B. says...

"beachpeach" wrote:

Rosalie B. wrote:

I'm thinking of this from a different perspective.

He may want to go. His little girl is growing up after all and this
is possibly the last time for him to do this. If he does, then let



him go with her, or at least wander along behind if she objects.


Oh my gosh; did I ever give the wrong impression! I want him to go. I
don't want her to go without him or atleast another adult! It's not


I realized that you wanted him to go with her. I was basically asking
you whether he might ALSO want to go with her. That was what I meant
by looking at it from a different perspective. His perspective rather
than yours or hers.


As long as there's someone at home for the trick or treaters?

With our little mom-kid family, we always had to figure out a way to get the
trick or treating done but still have me there to hold down the house, so to
speak.

Banty

  #7  
Old October 13th 06, 01:24 AM posted to misc.kids.moderated
Louise
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 19
Default Trick or Treating Part2

On Thu, 12 Oct 2006 11:25:46 EDT, Banty
wrote:

In article , Rosalie B. says...

"beachpeach" wrote:

Rosalie B. wrote:

I'm thinking of this from a different perspective.

He may want to go. His little girl is growing up after all and this
is possibly the last time for him to do this. If he does, then let


him go with her, or at least wander along behind if she objects.

Oh my gosh; did I ever give the wrong impression! I want him to go. I
don't want her to go without him or atleast another adult! It's not


I realized that you wanted him to go with her. I was basically asking
you whether he might ALSO want to go with her. That was what I meant
by looking at it from a different perspective. His perspective rather
than yours or hers.


As long as there's someone at home for the trick or treaters?

With our little mom-kid family, we always had to figure out a way to get the
trick or treating done but still have me there to hold down the house, so to
speak.


So what have you done?

When one of our neighbours became a single mum, we realized that
collaborative solutions were going to be useful, and then we
discovered that it was actually more fun to supervise a crowd of kids
who liked each other, rather than just ours. We also discovered that,
in our comfort levels, the age for staying home alone handing out
candy was actually higher than the age for trick-or-treating with
peers.

Louise

  #8  
Old October 13th 06, 12:59 PM posted to misc.kids.moderated
Claire Petersky
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 18
Default Trick or Treating Part2


"beachpeach" wrote in message
ps.com...
I've read the trick or treat thread with interest. I'm curious about
parental attendance while trick or treating. At what age do most of
your folks think is acceptable/appropriate for kids to knock on doors
with mom or dad?


FWIW, I have some friends that take wine glasses when they go trick or
treating with their kids. When the kids say "trick or treat", the parents
hold out their wine glasses. They say they get to really know their
neighbors this way, and they enjoy trick-or-treating much more.


--
Warm Regards,

Claire Petersky
http://www.bicyclemeditations.org/
See the books I've set free at: http://bookcrossing.com/referral/Cpetersky

  #9  
Old October 14th 06, 03:10 AM posted to misc.kids.moderated
Banty
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,278
Default Trick or Treating Part2

In article , Louise says...

On Thu, 12 Oct 2006 11:25:46 EDT, Banty
wrote:

In article , Rosalie B. says...

"beachpeach" wrote:




As long as there's someone at home for the trick or treaters?

With our little mom-kid family, we always had to figure out a way to get the
trick or treating done but still have me there to hold down the house, so to
speak.


So what have you done?

When one of our neighbours became a single mum, we realized that
collaborative solutions were going to be useful, and then we
discovered that it was actually more fun to supervise a crowd of kids
who liked each other, rather than just ours. We also discovered that,
in our comfort levels, the age for staying home alone handing out
candy was actually higher than the age for trick-or-treating with
peers.


Yes - one way was hooking up with neighbors. When my son was little, I'd make
the rounds very early with him, leaving a bowl of candy for other earlies (who
are only the really young kids with their parents pretty much), then return home
for the bulk of the trick or treaters. I'd have to leave work early for that,
though, and make it up. By time my son was ten, he'd go around with friends,
and in this area I'm comfortable with that. The last couple of years, I let him
go with my cell phone, with an agreement to call every 15 minutes (he did).

Banty

  #10  
Old October 16th 06, 03:01 PM posted to misc.kids.moderated
beeswing
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 16
Default Trick or Treating Part2

Claire Petersky wrote:

FWIW, I have some friends that take wine glasses when they go trick or
treating with their kids. When the kids say "trick or treat", the parents
hold out their wine glasses. They say they get to really know their
neighbors this way, and they enjoy trick-or-treating much more.


That sounds like fun! I'm not sure I'd have the chutzpah to do it,
though.

beeswing

 




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