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Inappropriate Teacher's Dress



 
 
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  #21  
Old June 18th 05, 06:34 PM
grandma Rosalie
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Marie wrote:
On Sat, 18 Jun 2005 12:05:51 -0400, Jeanne
wrote:
What I saw was a caring, intelligent woman who was good with toddlers
and preschoolers. The pierced eyebrow was pretty much equivalent a
non-issue.


It *is* kind of silly to judge someone based on appearance. Especially
for something that's becoming so common, such as piercings and
tattoos. It would never occur to me to question someone's abilities or
professionalism because of what they wear, either.
Marie


One of my DDs has had piercings including a belly button one. I think
she's also got a tattoo and I think my SIL (her husband) has one too.
Both of them are professional people. I don't know if dd had a tongue
piercing or not - I vaguely remember her saying that she had a lot of
trouble with one piercing and let it close up because it kept getting
infected.

She and SIL thought we'd disapprove, so they initially hid the
piercings etc from us. AFAIK, I never had any stated position on
tattoos or piercings, so I don't think they did it to rebel - and in
any case my dd and SIL are in their early 40s.

DS and his children visited this week, and I see that my grandson has a
pierced ear. DS had one too when he was in school.

  #22  
Old June 18th 05, 06:40 PM
dragonlady
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In article .com,
"grandma Rosalie" wrote:


One of my DDs has had piercings including a belly button one. I think
she's also got a tattoo and I think my SIL (her husband) has one too.
Both of them are professional people. I don't know if dd had a tongue
piercing or not - I vaguely remember her saying that she had a lot of
trouble with one piercing and let it close up because it kept getting
infected.


More likely the belly button, which tend to be the higher problem ones.
Tongue piercings are some with the least problems with infections.

(I know WAY more than I want to about various body art issues. . .)
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

  #23  
Old June 18th 05, 06:46 PM
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dragonlady wrote:
In article . com,
wrote:

Mary wrote:
Have any of you faced a teacher, preschool or otherwise that dressed
inappropriately? Recently, I experienced a situation with "teachers"
(they were actually college students doing a summer intern-job) that
wore low ride, cotton, white, mini skirts, with no slips (do people
still wear slips?). One has a tongue stud. Both wore shirts with their
belly buttons exposed.
It is a delicate situation in that I am related to the owner. I did
say something to the owner, but then let the subject die.
I can say that husband is eager to drive my daughters to the school!

In a previous preschool, the teachers had tattoos, but they covered
them up. I have a tattoo as well, but if I was in a professional
situation, I would cover it up.

Mary


Ok...so I can kind of understand the concern with appropriate dress.
Most schools afterall, have dress codes. I'm not sure how I would feel
about the piercings. If it is an issue for that particular teacher (i.e
there is difficulty in understanding what she says), then I can
understand that. FWIW, I once met someone (professionally) that I'd
talked to on the phone several times. Until I met her in person, I had
no idea that she had a tongue stud. For some people it isn't an issue.

Your comment regarding your husband though leads me to believe that
there's more to your complaints than you have fully described. If it
bothers you that he looks at other women then I suggest you have a
long, meaningfull talk with him. It might help.


annette


Personally, I can't imagine being bothered by DH looking. My mother's
position was always that she didn't care WHERE dad did his window
shopping, as long as he made his purchases at home.
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care


That was what I was trying to get at actually. Looking doesn't bother
me at all either but I thought that it sounded like the OP was bothered
by it, and honestly I think a couple should openly communicate what
they expect out of a relationship. It seems to me, based on couples
that I have known well, that the ones with the best relationships have
been those that could bring up any subject, talk about it rationally,
think about the others feelings, and come to an understanding of what
each expects from the other. Sometimes it takes awhile, and several
conversations, and more thinking, but eventually most issues can be
resolved.

annette

  #24  
Old June 18th 05, 06:47 PM
dragonlady
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In article .com,
"shinypenny" wrote:

Am I being too melodramatic here? Am I missing something? And, most
importantly, am I doomed to have my girls get tongue studs because it's
the one thing that would accomplish shock value for me? :-)


Yes, you're being too melodramatic.

It's a fashion statement.

While it MAY (and I emphasize MAY) have had it's beginnings in issues
dealing with sexuality. it is, at this point in time, merely a fashion
statement.

Remember when a man with one ear pierced was supposed to be advertising
that he was gay (only specifically WHICH ear seemed to vary from one
area to another . . .)

Body art is just body art.

I'd be concerned if a minor came home with ANY piercings or tatoos,
since, at least here in CA (and I think in most other states) they need
parental permission for that sort of thing -- and, since they are more
or less permanent, I would NOT sign permission for anything but ears.

However, once the kids are old enough to sign for themselves,
attributing the body art to sexual proclivities is over the top.

(And, if I'm any indication -- yes, the fact that you are grossed out by
that ONE THING, means your daughters will get them done as soon as they
can . . . it's about the only (visible) piercing that grosses me out,
though I'm not crazy about the lips, either. As far as the ones not
normally visible, well, I don't need to know if they've done any of
that! They've not bothered with tatoos (they don't bother me) or any
other facial piercings -- just the one that they knew grossed me out.)
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

  #25  
Old June 18th 05, 06:52 PM
Cathy Weeks
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shinypenny wrote:

If my DD's came home with one, I'd be seriously worried. Because, to my
knowledge, the tongue piercing is not meant for fashion. It's meant as
an aid for performing oral sex. From what I gather, those that wear it
outside the bedroom, are conveying their interest and skill in this
activity.

Now, if a person finds a tongue stud useful in their private sexual
practices, that's no sweat off my brow - enjoy. But to wear it outside
of the bedroom and walk around in public? Uh uh.


Ummmmm..... no. tongue piercing is just like any other piercing in
that it's a fashion statement and self expression. It's not a "come
hither; I give good head" statement. (that's like saying wearing a
sexy outfit is only meant as a come-one) Does it help with oral sex?
Possibly, but the people I've known who got them did for a whole bunch
of reasons, and in most cases that wasn't even part of their
consideration.

Besides, they close up too easily to go without very often. If you
took it out EVERY time you went in public, you might as well give up
the piercing entirely. I believe some people have clear ones they can
use in public, though.

Cathy Weeks

  #26  
Old June 18th 05, 07:19 PM
dragonlady
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In article . com,
"Cathy Weeks" wrote:

shinypenny wrote:

If my DD's came home with one, I'd be seriously worried. Because, to my
knowledge, the tongue piercing is not meant for fashion. It's meant as
an aid for performing oral sex. From what I gather, those that wear it
outside the bedroom, are conveying their interest and skill in this
activity.

Now, if a person finds a tongue stud useful in their private sexual
practices, that's no sweat off my brow - enjoy. But to wear it outside
of the bedroom and walk around in public? Uh uh.


Ummmmm..... no. tongue piercing is just like any other piercing in
that it's a fashion statement and self expression. It's not a "come
hither; I give good head" statement. (that's like saying wearing a
sexy outfit is only meant as a come-one) Does it help with oral sex?
Possibly, but the people I've known who got them did for a whole bunch
of reasons, and in most cases that wasn't even part of their
consideration.


I have to admit that if that WAS one of my daughters' considerations,
they probably would not have shared that information with me. However,
I HAVE talked to others about why they did that (as well as some others;
nipple piercings, in particular) -- and it seems to generally be just a
fashion statement.

Sometimes, it has clearly been done to annoy a parent -- but most often,
just because.


Besides, they close up too easily to go without very often. If you
took it out EVERY time you went in public, you might as well give up
the piercing entirely. I believe some people have clear ones they can
use in public, though.

Cathy Weeks

--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

  #27  
Old June 18th 05, 07:22 PM
Ericka Kammerer
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Mary wrote:

Have any of you faced a teacher, preschool or otherwise that dressed
inappropriately? Recently, I experienced a situation with "teachers"
(they were actually college students doing a summer intern-job) that
wore low ride, cotton, white, mini skirts, with no slips (do people
still wear slips?). One has a tongue stud. Both wore shirts with their
belly buttons exposed.
It is a delicate situation in that I am related to the owner. I did
say something to the owner, but then let the subject die.
I can say that husband is eager to drive my daughters to the school!

In a previous preschool, the teachers had tattoos, but they covered
them up. I have a tattoo as well, but if I was in a professional
situation, I would cover it up.


Hmm...I'm a little surprised by the responses. I sit on the
board of a preschool. From my perspective, the tongue piercing is
not an issue, as long as it's not being fiddled with all the time.
However, while we do not have a detailed dress code, it doesn't
particularly sound like the above described attire would be acceptable
at our school. We expect the teachers to be in clothes that
they can get down on the floor with the kids, or run and play
with the kids. I don't really see how a mini skirt fits that
bill (as I imagine they're not wearing bloomers ;-) Even college
students helping out in the school would be expected to show up
dressed appropriately--clean, neat, and ready for play. We sometime
have teens or college age folks helping out a bit, and their dress
does tend to be a bit less conservative than the older women
(which is fine), but if you can't sit cross-legged on the floor
or reach your arms over your head without exposing something
you shouldn't, I think our Director would suggest a change of
clothing would be in order.

Best wishes,
Ericka

  #28  
Old June 18th 05, 07:29 PM
bizby40
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"Nan" wrote in message
...
On 17 Jun 2005 19:43:46 -0700, "Mary"
wrote:
Yep. At my dd's preschool the "Stay and Play" gals all dressed this
way. They're not "teachers", but they are the daycare workers.
It never occurred to me to be bothered by it, as they're great with
all the kids, and that is what I feel is important, not how they're
dressed.


I think most of us would have a line that we wouldn't want our
DCPs to cross. Would you object to someone with a violent
t-shirt, or one of those shirts with snakes coming through the
eye sockets of a skull? I would -- I'd be afraid that the images
would be upsetting to my child. How about profanity? I'd be
upset by that as well, even if my child was too young to read
it or know what it meant. What if they worked in a bikini? Or
if they were male and generally worked without a shirt? That's
fine for the pool, but doesn't seem right for a pre-school
environment. Heck -- what if they were nudists?

The OP seems upset with the sexual nature of the dress of
the Day Care workers. Sure she could change day cares.
But if she's been happy with it otherwise, don't you think
it's appropriate for her to address the situation with the
owner? I do. If the owner refuses to do anything about
it, then the OP needs to decide whether or not it's something
worth switching over.

And for whoever said that it's too much to expect the college
girls to purchase a professional wardrobe for a summer job
-- I think "professional" in this case really only means modest.
A few t-shirts that cover their bellies and so forth.

It is a delicate situation in that I am related to the owner. I did
say something to the owner, but then let the subject die.
I can say that husband is eager to drive my daughters to the school!


So, are you insecure? I wouldn't be bothered by my husband looking at
the gals at our school.


She made one joking comment about her husband, and everyone
jumps all over it! She never said that bothered her, nor that she
had any trust issues or other problems with her husband.

Bizby


  #29  
Old June 18th 05, 07:32 PM
bizby40
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"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
...
Hmm...I'm a little surprised by the responses. I sit on the
board of a preschool.

[snip]
if you can't sit cross-legged on the floor
or reach your arms over your head without exposing something
you shouldn't, I think our Director would suggest a change of
clothing would be in order.

Best wishes,
Ericka


Thank you Ericka -- I was feeling a bit alone. :-)

Bizby


  #30  
Old June 18th 05, 07:38 PM
Nan
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On Sat, 18 Jun 2005 14:29:37 -0400, "bizby40"
wrote:


"Nan" wrote in message
.. .
On 17 Jun 2005 19:43:46 -0700, "Mary"
wrote:
Yep. At my dd's preschool the "Stay and Play" gals all dressed this
way. They're not "teachers", but they are the daycare workers.
It never occurred to me to be bothered by it, as they're great with
all the kids, and that is what I feel is important, not how they're
dressed.


I think most of us would have a line that we wouldn't want our
DCPs to cross. Would you object to someone with a violent
t-shirt, or one of those shirts with snakes coming through the
eye sockets of a skull? I would -- I'd be afraid that the images
would be upsetting to my child. How about profanity? I'd be
upset by that as well, even if my child was too young to read
it or know what it meant. What if they worked in a bikini? Or
if they were male and generally worked without a shirt? That's
fine for the pool, but doesn't seem right for a pre-school
environment. Heck -- what if they were nudists?


Yeah. Of course you can stretch it beyond comprehension to think we'd
include all manner of dress.
/rolls eyes

However, I was addressing her issue with showing a belly, or wearing a
mini skirt. That's a pretty far cry from violent images or a nudist,
doncha think?

The OP seems upset with the sexual nature of the dress of
the Day Care workers. Sure she could change day cares.
But if she's been happy with it otherwise, don't you think
it's appropriate for her to address the situation with the
owner? I do. If the owner refuses to do anything about
it, then the OP needs to decide whether or not it's something
worth switching over.


Yup, and she did address it and let it drop. Apparently the owner
isn't bothered as much as she is, or changes would have already been
made, and she wouldn't need to vent about it here. She would do what
she needs to, to feel more comfortable.

And for whoever said that it's too much to expect the college
girls to purchase a professional wardrobe for a summer job
-- I think "professional" in this case really only means modest.
A few t-shirts that cover their bellies and so forth.

It is a delicate situation in that I am related to the owner. I did
say something to the owner, but then let the subject die.
I can say that husband is eager to drive my daughters to the school!


So, are you insecure? I wouldn't be bothered by my husband looking at
the gals at our school.


She made one joking comment about her husband, and everyone
jumps all over it! She never said that bothered her, nor that she
had any trust issues or other problems with her husband.


She's obviously bothered by the way they dress as being too sexual.
Mentioning her husband just adds fuel to that fire.

Nan
 




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