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  #1  
Old March 19th 07, 05:37 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
Mary[_2_]
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Posts: 1
Default Article in newspaper...

Here is an appalling article I found in my local newspaper today.
Cincinnati Enquire March 19th.


Constant 'attachment' not so good
Your voice: Melissa Severance

Now don't strangle me with your slings, "attachment parents" ("Battle
of the bonds," March 9), but hear me out. In my former Earth Mama
days, I too held my new baby as much as possible and responded to
nearly every cry with a snack of mother's milk.

This went on and on, through my days as a new stay-at-home mom, and
through my nights as I pulled my nursling close and tended to his
supposed needs at the slightest whimper.

It felt right. It seemed good.


And thankfully it came to end after eight months when the euphoria
wore off and I snapped out of it. For goodness' sake, I needed a good
night's sleep. And Honeybear was going to have to do it on his own. I
think he cried for an hour, maybe longer. The next day, 11 minutes.
That night, seven minutes. It was about time.

How I dealt with child number two's sleep issues is a blur, but by the
time number three came along I needed a plan. I had way too much to do
to be wearing my baby around in some sling.

After reading the controversial book, "On Becoming Babywise," which I
would have considered cold and calloused when I was a new mother, I
had something new to work with. It takes our great-grandmothers'
approach of "scheduling" a baby's feedings but in a softer way,
shaping the baby's metabolism and putting the baby down for naps
without allowing baby to endlessly suckle himself to sleep and never
learning to fall asleep on his own.

Yes, there is some crying involved. And when I was a first-time mom I
would be rolling my eyes by now, but the method works, people. Eight
months of night wakings/feedings reduced itself to eight weeks and one
day when my third child kept on sleeping until the crack of dawn. It
was hard work being a bit of a clock-watcher but it paid off. Now, my
five-month-old does a good 11-hour stretch each night and I'm able to
(for the most part) plan my days around his naps.

Ah, yes, my mother tells me I have a "good baby" as the book promises.
All I know is that for me, I needed something more solid than just "be
positive" to help my child become a good sleeper, or for my 2-year-old
to come when I call him or for my 5-year-old to admit when he's done
wrong to his sibling.

Just making a child "feel good" in the moment does not work for the
longterm; we must take charge, with confidence, knowing that for his
own good and the good of the family, it's time to go to sleep.

Melissa Severance of College Hill is a mother of three and a writer.

  #2  
Old March 19th 07, 06:27 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
Anne Rogers
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Posts: 1,497
Default Article in newspaper...

ack, I think the problem is, that it often does work with later children as
milk supply seems to increase each time, a lot of first time mums have milk
supplies that just don't cope when feeds are scheduled, she doesn't even
mention if her 3rd baby actually was exclusively breastfed. What's worse is
that as the book uses supplementation as one of it's answers to problems
with the system, that when problems do occur, if a mother is against
supplementing, then they don't and baby becomes unwell. There are other
books out there that I don't particularly like, but none concern me as much
as this one - this one puts babies in hospital.

Anne


  #3  
Old March 19th 07, 06:28 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
Caledonia
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Posts: 255
Default Article in newspaper...

On Mar 19, 12:37 pm, "Mary" wrote:
Here is an appalling article I found in my local newspaper today.
Cincinnati Enquire March 19th.

Constant 'attachment' not so good
Your voice: Melissa Severance

Now don't strangle me with your slings, "attachment parents" ("Battle
of the bonds," March 9), but hear me out. In my former Earth Mama
days, I too held my new baby as much as possible and responded to
nearly every cry with a snack of mother's milk.

This went on and on, through my days as a new stay-at-home mom, and
through my nights as I pulled my nursling close and tended to his
supposed needs at the slightest whimper.

It felt right. It seemed good.

And thankfully it came to end after eight months when the euphoria
wore off and I snapped out of it. For goodness' sake, I needed a good
night's sleep. And Honeybear was going to have to do it on his own. I
think he cried for an hour, maybe longer. The next day, 11 minutes.
That night, seven minutes. It was about time.

How I dealt with child number two's sleep issues is a blur, but by the
time number three came along I needed a plan. I had way too much to do
to be wearing my baby around in some sling.

After reading the controversial book, "On Becoming Babywise," which I
would have considered cold and calloused when I was a new mother, I
had something new to work with. It takes our great-grandmothers'
approach of "scheduling" a baby's feedings but in a softer way,
shaping the baby's metabolism and putting the baby down for naps
without allowing baby to endlessly suckle himself to sleep and never
learning to fall asleep on his own.

Yes, there is some crying involved. And when I was a first-time mom I
would be rolling my eyes by now, but the method works, people. Eight
months of night wakings/feedings reduced itself to eight weeks and one
day when my third child kept on sleeping until the crack of dawn. It
was hard work being a bit of a clock-watcher but it paid off. Now, my
five-month-old does a good 11-hour stretch each night and I'm able to
(for the most part) plan my days around his naps.

Ah, yes, my mother tells me I have a "good baby" as the book promises.
All I know is that for me, I needed something more solid than just "be
positive" to help my child become a good sleeper, or for my 2-year-old
to come when I call him or for my 5-year-old to admit when he's done
wrong to his sibling.

Just making a child "feel good" in the moment does not work for the
longterm; we must take charge, with confidence, knowing that for his
own good and the good of the family, it's time to go to sleep.

Melissa Severance of College Hill is a mother of three and a writer.


I'm not hopelessly appalled -- it sounded like she was on edge, sleep-
wise.

It's not a route I've taken, but I only have 2 kids, and was able to
stop f/t employment. During the time I was working, with a toddler and
an infant, I was severely sleep deprived, and started to grow slowly
more and more depressed. On the whole, I'm not even sure
retrospectively if I should have done things differently.

What struck you as the most appalling part of the article?

Caledonia

  #4  
Old March 20th 07, 12:23 AM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
FlowerGirl
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Posts: 14
Default Article in newspaper...


"Mary" wrote in message
ups.com...
Here is an appalling article I found in my local newspaper today.
Cincinnati Enquire March 19th.


I agree Mary - "Melissa" is full of crap.
My rant is interspersed with young Melissa's scrawlings....


Constant 'attachment' not so good
Your voice: Melissa Severance

Now don't strangle me with your slings, "attachment parents" ("Battle
of the bonds," March 9), but hear me out. In my former Earth Mama
days, I too held my new baby as much as possible and responded to
nearly every cry with a snack of mother's milk.

This went on and on, through my days as a new stay-at-home mom, and
through my nights as I pulled my nursling close and tended to his
supposed needs at the slightest whimper.

It felt right. It seemed good.


Yes Indeedy it does.


And thankfully it came to end after eight months when the euphoria
wore off and I snapped out of it. For goodness' sake, I needed a good
night's sleep. And Honeybear was going to have to do it on his own. I
think he cried for an hour, maybe longer.


!

The next day, 11 minutes.
That night, seven minutes. It was about time.



Gee a whole *8 months* of attachment parenting - what an "expert" eye-roll



How I dealt with child number two's sleep issues is a blur, but by the
time number three came along I needed a plan. I had way too much to do
to be wearing my baby around in some sling.

After reading the controversial book, "On Becoming Babywise," which I
would have considered cold and calloused when I was a new mother,



well gee now - even as an experienced mother, I just considered it went
against the current medical advice and could lead to anything from a
dehydrated baby to a child with a little bit of psychological damage
happening according to some researchers.


I
had something new to work with. It takes our great-grandmothers'
approach of "scheduling" a baby's feedings but in a softer way,
shaping the baby's metabolism and putting the baby down for naps
without allowing baby to endlessly suckle himself to sleep and never
learning to fall asleep on his own.


I fed both mine to sleep every night (the youngest for 2.5 years) and now
they both put themselves to bed after a story and a kiss. I have never been
one to follow my grandmothers advice on child rearing .... I think we've
moved on in the past 60 years.


Yes, there is some crying involved. And when I was a first-time mom I
would be rolling my eyes by now,


....and I'm rolling my eyes as an experienced mother of 2....

but the method works, people.


perhaps for some children ... and I do wonder how well the method can "work"
for the parent in the short term but if some of the research is right - I
wonder how well this "works" for the child in the long term

Eight
months of night wakings/feedings reduced itself to eight weeks and one
day when my third child kept on sleeping until the crack of dawn. It
was hard work being a bit of a clock-watcher but it paid off. Now, my
five-month-old does a good 11-hour stretch each night and I'm able to
(for the most part) plan my days around his naps.


Bully for you lovey. It took my kids slightly longer to get to this point
(both started sleeping through and having regular naps at 11 months).
Whoop-de-do-da.

Ah, yes, my mother tells me I have a "good baby" as the book promises.


What crap. Babys are *all good*. I've never ever seen an evil one (I have
seen ones with colic, asthma, a serious heart condition and Downs Syndrome,
and they mightn't have smiled and gurgled and fed and slept when their mums
wanted but they were all *good*).

All I know is that for me, I needed something more solid than just "be
positive" to help my child become a good sleeper, or for my 2-year-old
to come when I call him or for my 5-year-old to admit when he's done
wrong to his sibling.


Goody that it worked for you. My kids sleep fine, behave nicely most of the
time (ie they don't belt each other senseless and they do as they are asked
to do).

Just making a child "feel good" in the moment does not work for the
longterm;


says who? Ezzo? What and *expert* (what were his child development
qualitifactions again ... oh none, that's right).

we must take charge, with confidence, knowing that for his
own good


sorry - *who's* own good ???. I think its debateable whether its in the
child's best interests.

and the good of the family, it's time to go to sleep.

Melissa Severance of College Hill is a mother of three and a writer.


OK serious sleep deprivation is torutre. But there are gentler, healthier
methods that work without a child crying for an hour at night, baby's being
told when they are hungry.
Sounds like she was borderline PPD to me, so I guess anything is better than
physically hurting the kids (pschologically though - who can say).
BUT - writing this crap like its serious parenting advice is just plain
wrong.

my 2c
Amanda


  #5  
Old March 20th 07, 04:21 AM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
Chookie
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,085
Default Article in newspaper...

In article . com,
"Mary" wrote:

Here is an appalling article I found in my local newspaper today.
Cincinnati Enquire March 19th.


Sad that Ezzo's still getting airplay.

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"Parenthood is like the modern stone washing process for denim jeans. You may
start out crisp, neat and tough, but you end up pale, limp and wrinkled."
Kerry Cue
 




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