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#11
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Sad about the way weaning is happening
I always have trouble weaning. I'm trying to do things differently this
time. I recently weaned from our morning feed and it is the only one that went painlessly. I say 'finish up' - sing them a song - unlatch them - and then PARTY. I clap and laugh and call them big boys. They look like they want to cry but then have fun instead. Good idea... I REALLY want it to end on a happy note. I know I'll be sad when she has her last feed, but I'd like the memories to be happy ones. I always wanted weaning to be so gentle we didn't notice it, and for the most part, it has been. I don't want her to feel like she's too old to breastfeed, if she still has the need.. it's all good by me. I've been sick lately so I guess I'm a bit irritable and oversensitive and it doesn't help. When it was real short I just re-arranged the morning so I gave them a snack cup instead of sitting with them and then later in the morning I sit on the floor and let them be on my lap. Mine are only 16mos so not sure a similar approach would work for a big 3yo. Just some ideas. I know what you mean about feeling disappointed that the end isn't more sweet and less bitter. Hang in there. Thanks Nikki I can't believe your boys are 16 months already! Your lot must keep you busy. Amy |
#12
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Sad about the way weaning is happening
sorry to hear about the frustration. it is not uncommon for kids over
2 yrs old to "forget" how to latch on if they skip a few days. point it out to your daughter that she seems to be so big, that she cannot latch on like the little babies do, so that they drink gently. talk about how mommy's nipples are very tender, and how it's important to be very gentle and to drink properly. make sure to avoid words like hurt, pain, etc. for this particular discussion.some kids get very frustrated with their latch in similar situations, they decide to just quit. your little one seem to persist, which is a great character trait. hope this helps. Thanks for the advice I'd heard they can forget how to latch, but she hasn't missed days which is what puzzles me. I suspect her latch has been getting sloppy for a while and because it's first thing in the morning, when I'm not entirely there (if even awake) I haven't noticed until now. She gets the bit where she needs to open her mouth, but she's very literal, so she'll just pull off, open her mouth then close it down again before she latches. I never thought I'd have this problem with an older child. Thinking back on it, it's really more of a token feed unless she's really in need of comfort. I just hope I can look back on it happily rather than thinking 'That's right, her last feed was where she ended up throwing a tantrum and I told her to get off the bed'. Cheers, Amy |
#13
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Sad about the way weaning is happening
Thanks for the advice I'd heard they can forget how to latch, but she hasn't missed days which is what puzzles me. Don't quote me on this, but doesn't the palate change shape over time, breastfeeding helps it develop to the correct shape (as well as getting the correct muscles working), but ultimately it becomes too shallow to latch well to breastfeed, so it's not so much the child forgetting, but growing out of the ability to do it. There is a book called something like "how weaning happens", it may be a LLL book, anyway, from what I've heard it is pointed at child led, or at least compromise, rather than this is how to get your baby off the breast at precisely age one! cheers Anne |
#14
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Sad about the way weaning is happening
"Anne Rogers" wrote in message
. .. Thanks for the advice I'd heard they can forget how to latch, but she hasn't missed days which is what puzzles me. Don't quote me on this, but doesn't the palate change shape over time, breastfeeding helps it develop to the correct shape (as well as getting the correct muscles working), but ultimately it becomes too shallow to latch well to breastfeed, so it's not so much the child forgetting, but growing out of the ability to do it. There is a book called something like "how weaning happens", it may be a LLL book, anyway, from what I've heard it is pointed at child led, or at least compromise, rather than this is how to get your baby off the breast at precisely age one! While that sounds kinda logical, why then does Katherine Dettwyler put the natural age of human weaning somewhere between 2.5 and 7? That's such a huge variation.. it seems odd that 6-7 year olds could have the right shaped mouth and my three-year-old doesn't. Hmm, perhaps this is just an extension of her playing with her food :-p Thanks Anne, I'll look into it. Amy |
#15
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Sad about the way weaning is happening
In article , says...
"Anne Rogers" wrote in message . .. Thanks for the advice I'd heard they can forget how to latch, but she hasn't missed days which is what puzzles me. Don't quote me on this, but doesn't the palate change shape over time, breastfeeding helps it develop to the correct shape (as well as getting the correct muscles working), but ultimately it becomes too shallow to latch well to breastfeed, so it's not so much the child forgetting, but growing out of the ability to do it. There is a book called something like "how weaning happens", it may be a LLL book, anyway, from what I've heard it is pointed at child led, or at least compromise, rather than this is how to get your baby off the breast at precisely age one! While that sounds kinda logical, why then does Katherine Dettwyler put the natural age of human weaning somewhere between 2.5 and 7? That's such a huge variation.. it seems odd that 6-7 year olds could have the right shaped mouth and my three-year-old doesn't. Hmm, perhaps this is just an extension of her playing with her food :-p Thanks Anne, I'll look into it. Amy OK. Heres a couple of data points. Clara weaned at 5 1/2 and Niel at 6. (she self weaned, he had to be bribed with a birthday present :-) Monika complained about latch problems from about 4 on with both. Larry |
#16
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Sad about the way weaning is happening
While that sounds kinda logical, why then does Katherine Dettwyler put the natural age of human weaning somewhere between 2.5 and 7? That's such a huge variation.. it seems odd that 6-7 year olds could have the right shaped mouth and my three-year-old doesn't. Hmm, perhaps this is just an extension of her playing with her food :-p well some children may wean for other reasons, but I don't think the range is that implausible, I mean some newborn babies have genuine problems with breastfeeding due to the shape and muscle tone of their mouths - thankfully they can usually be helped by an occupational therapist with relevant experience and training. Every mother/child pair is different, each mother is going to vary at what point the latch causes discomfort and when the stimulation changes to the point of very little milk being produced and each child is going to vary on how much milk is worth it and so on, so many permutations that will give a wide variation in age. Cheers Anne |
#17
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Sad about the way weaning is happening
OK. Heres a couple of data points. Clara weaned at 5 1/2 and Niel at
6. (she self weaned, he had to be bribed with a birthday present :-) Monika complained about latch problems from about 4 on with both. Thanks Larry, I was really hoping you would post. I guess it's not that unusual then. I'll just try to make it as stress-free as possible and see what happens. Amy |
#18
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Sad about the way weaning is happening
well some children may wean for other reasons, but I don't think the range
is that implausible, I mean some newborn babies have genuine problems with breastfeeding due to the shape and muscle tone of their mouths - thankfully they can usually be helped by an occupational therapist with relevant experience and training. Every mother/child pair is different, each mother is going to vary at what point the latch causes discomfort and when the stimulation changes to the point of very little milk being produced and each child is going to vary on how much milk is worth it and so on, so many permutations that will give a wide variation in age. Good points, Anne. Nursing past one or two is something that's rarely discussed because so few people in the western world do it, so I really didn't know what to expect. I weaned at three and my mother has never mentioned any specific latch problems, but then my younger brother and I weaned at about the same time during a stressful time when her father died. I thought somehow that once we were past the first year, it would be this smooth linear process until she weaned. I guess you learn something new every day. It's comforting to know that breastfeeding has helped her mouth & jaw development to the point where the breastfeeding itself is not working. I have no doubt that it's made a difference, her speech is fantastic Amy |
#19
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Sad about the way weaning is happening
"Anne Rogers" wrote in message news H weaned at the end of Feb, and my milk hasn't quite dried up yet .... I really miss bf. I don't think there is an easy way to wean. Both my kids weaned without difficulty - for them! First time, my milk dried up due to pregnancy, when I realised this was why he was frustrated at the breast, I just stopped offering and he was fine about it, never asked for it, he was 17mths, he tried again once the baby was born and decided it was too sweet. Same here ... my milk turned to colostrum seemingly overnight and DD weaned very quickly at 18 mo. DD was down to one feed, then refused me when she had a cold and despite me offering, never went back to it, she was 18mths - that was 8mths ago and I still have milk, it's frustrating as this keeps causing micro versions of plugged ducts, so I'll have an uncomfortable lump, but not anything I can do about it. I'm finding not nursing DD as a toddler much more difficult than with DS, he was a tricky baby, but really quite good as a toddler, she was the other way round and I could really use nursing as part of managing some of her behaviour. I agree - I'm sure the bf calmed both DS and I down on many an occasion. He weaned me slowly though, and I never suffered from any breastfeeding problems (no cracked nipples, mastitis, plugged ducts etc) so lucky for me the small supply I still have has caused no problems. I do miss bf though. A |
#20
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Sad about the way weaning is happening
"Mum of Two" wrote in message ... Wow - it sounds like you are really on top of things (aside from the illness and broken hand!). Hope you get that apprenticeship. Heh, well, it does tend to sound that way, but I'm really just surviving. I'm seriously considering moving out of the province to the capital, which is a big thing since I've been here all my life. There's not much of an incentive to stay now my ex and his parents have moved away, and I'm leaning a bit much on my own family which isn't helping our relationship. The idea of more job opportunities and the chance to make some real, in-the-flesh friends appeals ;-) I really have nothing holding me here now except my folks, and my mum's insistence that I should make friends within 'mums' groups' is not helping. I think she sees it as selfish as DD's family has already been split, and it is really, but I'm not happy here and it's reflecting in my parenting. My sister is doing her masters in Wellington next year and I seriously considered moving into her student flat - only I know I could never get everything up the stairs! 1/4 life crisis? Maybe. I imagine its no picnic ... but you still seem ... umm ... "brighter" than the last time I heard from you. I actually have made several good friends from playgroup and from the kindy K goes to. Mind you, there are quite a few who I'll never have anything in common with. Perhaps your horizons will seem bigger in Wellington... (and with some support with your sister there). I guess its a difficult decision to make. We are fine in general. Having a few issues with DH trying to help manage his parents farm since his Dad died in Feb ... which is all entangled with DH dealing with his own grief and having a few ummm .. "interesting" ways he is trying to deal with it. He is dealing with it though, and I rarely have to help him back on course .. its just all a bit sad and awful at present. Kids are OK, but a bit sad when Daddy has to go away so many weekends to help Nana with the cows..... Oh that's tough :-( We've lost grandparents in the last couple of years but not parents, touch wood. Managing a farm is a big job at the best of times. Do you think he's finding it cathartic? Men often look for something 'practical' to do to cope, rather than facing the issues directly. It must be hard for the kids losing a grandparent and then losing time with their father as well. It's all still so fresh.. it probably took my mum a couple of years for her mother's death just to sink in, and we still have our moments. I hope things get easier for you all soon. Amy WE're OK .... although there have been times this year when I could have throttled DH .... but luckily for me I've got a few friends who've been through the same situation with their DHs so I get that its all part of the grieving process and I know that it will take time. ...and yes - they are a practical bunch of boys, but I also think a bit of talking wouldn't go astray either. One of the things I find the hardest to deal with is the kids. Unfortunately, it was a graveside service and while DD understands what happened, DS (just turned 3) thinks that G'dad is only dead because we put him in a hole. He quite regularly tells us that's he's going to get a rope and rescue G'dad A |
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