When children are defiant and difficult

(Quoting another -- )


"James P. Comer, the Yale professor of psychiatry and the mind behind
the Comer School Development Program, a highly successful model for
transforming urban schools......."

"Teachers and parents need to understand from the beginning that you
don't yell at Johnny for doing something wrong, but teach him how to do
it right," he said. "We have to focus on how to help children function,
not on how they sometimes embarrass us or threaten our power. A lot of
the bad behavior of children is calculated to reduce the disparity of
power between them and us.

"But when you develop relationships so that they see you as their ally,
they have less reason to battle with you."

Of course. I knew that all along.



http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...78.html?sub=AR
http://tinyurl.com/bktdj

And I'll add that of course the way for your child to see you as their
ally is to cause them humiliation and pain to teach them. Works every
time. 0;-

wrote:

"Teachers and parents need to understand from the beginning that you
don't yell at Johnny for doing something wrong, but teach him how to do
it right," he said.

But sometimes a couple of swats of the paddle help sting the child into
co-operating with you.

Jennie

Jennie wrote:
wrote:

"Teachers and parents need to understand from the beginning that you
don't yell at Johnny for doing something wrong, but teach him how to do
it right," he said.

But sometimes a couple of swats of the paddle help sting the child into
co-operating with you.

What methods do you use to get adults, friends, relatives, co-workers,
clerks, waiters, spouse, to cooperate with you?

By the way, what is "co-operating?"

Or are you suggesting that when the child wants you to cooperate they
too can use a paddle on you? If not why not?

Jennie

0:-

On 28 Jul 2005 wrote:

Jennie wrote:
wrote:

"Teachers and parents need to understand from the beginning that you
don't yell at Johnny for doing something wrong, but teach him how to =
do
it right," he said.

But sometimes a couple of swats of the paddle help sting the child into
co-operating with you.

What methods do you use to get adults, friends, relatives, co-workers,
clerks, waiters, spouse, to cooperate with you?

Why don't you ask the police? ;-)

By the way, what is "co-operating?"

From=20dictionary.com

co-operate

cooperate v : work together on a common enterprise of project; "The
soprano and the pianist did not get together very well"; "We joined
forces with another research group"

Or are you suggesting that when the child wants you to cooperate they
too can use a paddle on you? If not why not?

Are you suggesting that when you want the police to cooperate, you too
can use guns, batons on them? If not why not? Logic and the
anti-spanking zealotS, are they mutually exclusive? ;-)

Doan

Watch the Monkeyboy dance....heheheheheeh

Watch the "never-spanked" boy lie! ;-) Where are those
studies, LaVonne?

Doan

On 28 Jul 2005 wrote:

Watch the Monkeyboy dance....heheheheheeh

Jennie,

Is your parenting goal hitting children and stinging them into
cooperating with you?

My parenting goal was teaching children to make good behavioral choices.
I never hit my children.

One can parent successfully without hitting.

LaVonne

Jennie wrote:

wrote:


"Teachers and parents need to understand from the beginning that you
don't yell at Johnny for doing something wrong, but teach him how to do
it right," he said.


But sometimes a couple of swats of the paddle help sting the child into
co-operating with you.

Jennie

So your parents was NOT successful in raising you?

Doan

On Mon, 8 Aug 2005, Carlson LaVonne wrote:

Jennie,

Is your parenting goal hitting children and stinging them into
cooperating with you?

My parenting goal was teaching children to make good behavioral choices.
I never hit my children.

One can parent successfully without hitting.

LaVonne

Jennie wrote:

wrote:


"Teachers and parents need to understand from the beginning that you
don't yell at Johnny for doing something wrong, but teach him how to do
it right," he said.


But sometimes a couple of swats of the paddle help sting the child into
co-operating with you.

Jennie