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#11
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"'Kate" wrote in message ... On 16 Jun 2005 08:56:55 -0700, "DramaNut" the following was posted in blue dry erase marker: Hi, I am in a position where I have a 3 year old son, who thinks that copying everything I say is fun. Sometimes it is funny. Sometimes it is not. For instance, I say "Pick up the Crayons" he says "YOu pick up the crayons", and proceeds to laugh. Repeat that it's time to pick the crayons and that if you pick them up, they will be put away in the trash because that's the new rule. Then ask, "Are you sure you want me to pick them up?" and if he says yes or mimics me again, I'd pick them up and throw them away. Period. The next time, I'd say, "Remember the new rule? If I have to pick your toys up, I will throw them away." Eventually, he'll catch on. Haha I did that ONCE. Now when I say tidy up, they scrabble. If you're unwilling to throw them away, then you'll probably have to punish using a time out. In the meanwhile, if you catch him doing something good on his own, make a bit of a deal about it... moreso than the punishment if he does something wrong. He has to want to please you by doing the right thing and not learn to earn attention (the bad kind) by doing bad things. Are you spending enough time with him as a little person doing what he likes to do? What does he like to do? Can you use that as an incentive to get him to do what he's supposed to do first? He doesn't listen when i ask him to do stuff, he thinks its funny to just tell me to do it. I usually have to say, ok, no tv, or no dvds, until he will get going, but sometimes that doesn't always work. I was wondering if anyone has had the same thing (where your kid gives you lip like that). If they did it, it was only that one time. I still have toys in the attic that one kid or the other did not want to pick up... (my kiddos are 15, 17 on Sunday, and 26 on Wednesday).. but I'm a pack rat. Also, anyone else hate daycares where kids learn to say "You're stupid mommy" or "I hate you mommy"? My kid learned that too. LOL he should never have learned to talk, coz all I get is copying or ordering around. Either you gain control now or you're going to have a 16 year old kid who does whatever he pleases. Yeah my worst fear. My son pulled an attitude and wouldn't help out with chores one day, so I kicked him out of the house for 20 mins. He thought it was great getting out of them, until I wouldn't let him back in. lol I know it was harsh but it was a good lesson in that if you're not a part of this family, then you're not welcome. I don't mind joking around and the occasional smart remark, but I will not tolerate it if they disrespect me. As a teenager, I was a smart mouthed, little brat towards my Mother (we did not get along) but looking back, my parents were far too lenient when I was growing up, so when I got older and they tried cracking down on me, it was too late. I have never had another person to help with him (his father left when i was preggo), and I'm finding it really difficult to figure out this discipline thing now that he isn't a baby anymore. Simple.. don't allow anything that you don't want him to repeat 5,000 times in a car on a long trip. It's up to you to encourage good habits early on so that his life, as an adult and future husband and father, is an easy one. Anyone can help? Crystal I dunno. How'd I do? Does that seem like something you can do? Have you tried a reward system before? Time outs? Punishment? 'Kate P.S. xkatx I liked your response too... pretty much what I said (just read it)... and you have far more recent experience. :-) Hope you're doing ok. |
#12
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"Cele" wrote in message ... On Fri, 17 Jun 2005 02:42:14 GMT, "xkatx" wrote: snip PS: We're going to a wedding in Whitehorse in August. You & CME gonna be around the third week in August? We're tossing around the idea of driving out via Alberta..... C I'm thinking of doing a road trip to Mexico but definitely not in August. lol I just got a new job too, so I'll be sticking close to home. When you have some firm dates, you know my email. Christine |
#13
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"'Kate" wrote in message news On Sun, 19 Jun 2005 13:12:51 GMT, "jembieram" the following was posted in blue dry erase marker: NOooo! Not a counter! My mother was a counter. I have math anxiety. Coincidence? I think not. :-) 'Kate LOL I think it actually helped my 2 as they are both in accelerated learning groups for Maths Oh great.. now, at 46, I learn I'm mathlexic! :-) I am too, even basic math makes my mind draw a blank. So unless you put a calculator in front of me, I'm useless. With one, oh man I'm brilliant. lol Christine |
#14
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"'Kate" wrote in message ... On Sat, 18 Jun 2005 22:02:29 -0500, John the following was posted in blue dry erase marker: On Fri, 17 Jun 2005 01:52:33 GMT, 'Kate wrote: Repeat that it's time to pick the crayons and that if you pick them up, they will be put away in the trash because that's the new rule. Then ask, "Are you sure you want me to pick them up?" and if he says yes or mimics me again, I'd pick them up and throw them away. Period. The next time, I'd say, "Remember the new rule? If I have to pick your toys up, I will throw them away." Eventually, he'll catch on. snip In the trash? Really? Doesn't that get kind of expensive? I mean, assuming that these are toys that you actually want the kids to have (like the crayons in the example; kids need crayons) then you'll just have to replace them. Why not put the *toys* in timeout for a few days? Maybe one day per year of age? That is what we used to do when our kids were little. (Depending on the behavior, the kid might also have gone in timeout - at one minute per year of age, usually.) BP It's usually not something that has to be done more than a couple of times and guess what? The parent picks the toy to get rid of! Frankly, if your child is old enough to clean up, and willfully doesn't when told, it's better to throw out (donate, or put away) a toy or two than to have to repeat the lesson when he's 10, 13, 15, 22. I chose to put the toys away. As I said, I still have toys in the attic from when the teens (and one young adult) were learning. I will pull them down again for the grandchildren (if ever). I think, perhaps, that some parents are afraid of being too "mean". Or they think that money is more important than a child. It seems like lax parenting to let a child abuse a parent, a toy, or a privilege with little to no direct penalty. If you don't take care of your stuff, then it gets taken away, period. What is difficult to understand about that? If you forget to lock your car or don't maintain it, how long will you have it? The real world has real penalties. It's the parent's job to teach it before the kid grows up and becomes a menace to society. 'Kate Yeah I'm in complete agreement. I'm not here to be my child's friend, I'm here to teach them to survive in the real world and if throwing out something they value helps accomplish that, I'm all for it. I am a mean Mom on a constant basis, but I feel no guilt because they need rules, and they mean nothing if I'm not willing to enforce them. Christine |
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