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Introducing your dog to your newborn.



 
 
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  #1  
Old August 11th 03, 04:15 AM
The Huwe Family
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Introducing your dog to your newborn.

There are a lot of good suggestions here. I remember back to when my little
brother was born. M & D brought him home and set him in the carrier on the
floor. Our dog at the time went up to smell the "new thing" and my gramma
yelled at him and shooed him away. That dog NEVER liked my little brother.
Whenever my brother would go near him, the dog would growl and go hide. If
my brother followed him, the dog would snap.

New babies make new parents nervous, just think about it when introducing
your dog to the baby. And again, like what Hany Hosny mentioned, they have
been treated like children and will be jealous of their new siblings.

Gayle

"Hany Hosny" wrote in message
ink.net...
Introducing your dog to your newborn.

If your dog has a pulse, then (s)he has a very wide spectrum of emotions.
Thus, it stands to reason that if your pooch has emotions, there are

plenty
of reasons to be nervous about the introduction and initial weeks of
interaction between your newborn and your dog. After all, this is the
ultimate mix of jealousy, lifestyle change, nervousness on your part, post
partum exhaustion, and so on.

Now, I'm no authority on this subject, but having just gone through it

with
pretty good success across the board (the "board" being a trinity of
Ridgebacks with very different personalities), I'm happy to share what has
worked well for us. For what it's worth, here's how we made for a happy

and
smooth transition from being without kids to bringing our first child into
the family.

The process starts *months* before the baby's birth. Here are some

pre-birth
measures to consider :

Rather than bombard your dog with new baby stuff (furniture, contraptions,
lotions, clothes, swings, seats, strollers, etc.) when the baby comes

home,
it's best to introduce the baby-related "stuff" to your dog before the

baby
is born. "Trick" your dog into thinking that the stuff has nothing to do
with the baby. After all, how can he make the connection between the baby
and its stuff when the baby isn't in the picture yet? Take all the baby
stuff and just place it around the house. Especially in the high traffic
areas like living rooms, family rooms, kitchens, and so on. Let it just

sit
there for a couple weeks.


Invite friends with infants to visit your house. Reward your dog with

praise
and treats) when he shows *gentle* concern for the baby. Encourage him to
become "light-footed" and to hold back his exuberance if he's inclined to
throw himself around when he gets excited.


Buy a doll and talk to it so that dog understands that this universe

allows
for the possibility that you might talk to and care for someone else,

other
than him.


Use baby lotion on yourself to accustom the dog to the baby's smell.


Wash the dog's bedding (and possibly some of your own clothes) in the same
baby laundry detergent that you plan to use for your lilttle one's

clothes.
Go ahead and wash all the cute outfits that you have for your baby in this
detergent before s/he comes home from the hospital. This will accustom the
dog to the scent of the baby's clothing - including the outfit that the

baby
wears when coming home from the hospital).


If your dog is allowed up on the bed, you'll want to give some thought to
how this will work when baby comes home. If you have a large breed dog and
he's allowed on your bed, the baby (who presumably will be on the bed with
mom for nursing, etc.) is at some risk. Is now the time to wean the dog

off
the bed (or, better yet, to learn the limited conditions under which being
on the bed is okay)? I'm not a big proponent of taking dogs' "rights" away
from them, but this is one circumstance that may merit an exception.


Test the waters with other infants *in public* (and under controlled
conditions); reward gentle behavior with treats and praise. Do yourself

and
your dog the favor of being selective, though. If you introduce your dogs

to
toddlers whose coordination isn't keen yet, it could quickly tun into a

slap
and pull fest in which the dog learns to dislike little people.


The day before the baby comes home, have the dog smell a hat / towel that
was on the baby (bring it home in a plastic ziploc bag). This will prepare
the dog for the baby's actual presence. Repeat the name of the baby over

and
over in a soothing way as the dog takes in deep scents.



The big day :

On the big day, have mom walk in without baby (they'll miss her and

possibly
be too excited for her to hold the baby safely). Dad comes in a couple
minutes later with the new family member.


The most crucial part : how you react to the mingling. If you behave in a
panicked way and push the dog away from the baby, there's the potential

for
the dog making an immediate association that something is very much alive,
very much real, and too good for the dog to be involved with. Instead,
stroke the dog and coo gently with praise as the dog "checks in with" the
baby. Let the dog know that he has a job (i.e. to take care of the baby by
checking in frequently, showing concern and love). Doing otherwise could

be
the beginning of big problems. No licking on the face, but the top of the
head and the rest of the body are fine.



The first few days of the newborn's life might seem like the least likely
time for you to take the dog down the street for a walk, but it is
super-important that you erase all possibility that the dog make the
association of the baby's arrival with a degree of compromised attention.

It
might not be a long walk, but it *needs* to happen and it needs to be
genuine and intimate (as does your other interaction during the day).

These
walks need to be consistent for the first several days. I realize that

this
is the least convenient time in the world, but think of it this way : if

you
don't pay now, you just might pay later. Trust me, it's worth it. It goes
without saying that this is a daddy job, not a mommy job. And in general,
daddy has to be the dog's advocate during the first couple weeks. Mommy
might have the intentions to the keep the dog happy, but she won't have

the
energy or the presence of mind.

In the long run, what you're looking for isn't unbridled love, exuberance,
and loads of unabated enthusiasm from the dog. This would be an

unrealistic
expectation --- not to mention dangerous for the baby. Instead, you are
looking for anything along the spectrum from indifference to concern for

the
baby's welfare. (The dog should be given the option of showing no

particular
attachment. That can be developed later).


One last word on "quality time". It wasn't until 8 or 9 days after my

baby's
birth that I realized an odd thing. Whereas before the birth, I would

never
go by one of my dogs without making an intentional step in their direction
and being lovey-dovey with them (even if just for a few seconds), I caught
myself passing them as if they were invisible after the birth. I would

step
over them to get where I was going, or just walk around them. As
insignificant as that may seem, I think it triggered a concern on their

part
that I was still willing to walk them, be with them, etc., but that my
attention was no longer of a very high quality. Don't let this happen to
your dog. He needs your time, but he's smart enough to know where your

heart
really lies. Think back on all the times when your dog has made you feel
more complete, more assured about life, etc. The least you can do at this
stage is to let the dog know that his quality of life will remain high and
constant. And if that isn't enough motivation to do the right thing, go

back
and read http://www.hsyc.org/HowCouldYou.htm .



It's all a lot of work, but the harmony and love that your baby and dogs
will share makes the whole process pay for itself quickly.


-- Hany
Visit Kiambu, Nina, and Kasha's World
http://home.earthlink.net/~rooke8/ridgebacks





  #2  
Old August 11th 03, 12:16 PM
Hany Hosny
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Introducing your dog to your newborn.

Hi, Gayle...

If I had to scrap all the suggestions I made and just stick with one tip, it
would be what you have touched on.

Nothing, nothing, nothing could be more important than being careful not to
shoo the dog away. It is the highest order of rejection an betrayal to do
that. Anyone who understands canine behavior will attest to that.

Play it smart and give the dog a job for life : to love and look out for
your child. That shooing away bizness will do just the opposite.

Thanks for bringing up the most important of all points!

-- Hany
Visit Kiambu, Nina, and Kasha's World
http://home.earthlink.net/~rooke8/ridgebacks



"The Huwe Family" wrote in message
.com...
There are a lot of good suggestions here. I remember back to when my

little
brother was born. M & D brought him home and set him in the carrier on

the
floor. Our dog at the time went up to smell the "new thing" and my gramma
yelled at him and shooed him away. That dog NEVER liked my little

brother.
Whenever my brother would go near him, the dog would growl and go hide.

If
my brother followed him, the dog would snap.

New babies make new parents nervous, just think about it when introducing
your dog to the baby. And again, like what Hany Hosny mentioned, they

have
been treated like children and will be jealous of their new siblings.

Gayle

"Hany Hosny" wrote in message
ink.net...
Introducing your dog to your newborn.

If your dog has a pulse, then (s)he has a very wide spectrum of

emotions.
Thus, it stands to reason that if your pooch has emotions, there are

plenty
of reasons to be nervous about the introduction and initial weeks of
interaction between your newborn and your dog. After all, this is the
ultimate mix of jealousy, lifestyle change, nervousness on your part,

post
partum exhaustion, and so on.

Now, I'm no authority on this subject, but having just gone through it

with
pretty good success across the board (the "board" being a trinity of
Ridgebacks with very different personalities), I'm happy to share what

has
worked well for us. For what it's worth, here's how we made for a happy

and
smooth transition from being without kids to bringing our first child

into
the family.

The process starts *months* before the baby's birth. Here are some

pre-birth
measures to consider :

Rather than bombard your dog with new baby stuff (furniture,

contraptions,
lotions, clothes, swings, seats, strollers, etc.) when the baby comes

home,
it's best to introduce the baby-related "stuff" to your dog before the

baby
is born. "Trick" your dog into thinking that the stuff has nothing to do
with the baby. After all, how can he make the connection between the

baby
and its stuff when the baby isn't in the picture yet? Take all the baby
stuff and just place it around the house. Especially in the high traffic
areas like living rooms, family rooms, kitchens, and so on. Let it just

sit
there for a couple weeks.


Invite friends with infants to visit your house. Reward your dog with

praise
and treats) when he shows *gentle* concern for the baby. Encourage him

to
become "light-footed" and to hold back his exuberance if he's inclined

to
throw himself around when he gets excited.


Buy a doll and talk to it so that dog understands that this universe

allows
for the possibility that you might talk to and care for someone else,

other
than him.


Use baby lotion on yourself to accustom the dog to the baby's smell.


Wash the dog's bedding (and possibly some of your own clothes) in the

same
baby laundry detergent that you plan to use for your lilttle one's

clothes.
Go ahead and wash all the cute outfits that you have for your baby in

this
detergent before s/he comes home from the hospital. This will accustom

the
dog to the scent of the baby's clothing - including the outfit that the

baby
wears when coming home from the hospital).


If your dog is allowed up on the bed, you'll want to give some thought

to
how this will work when baby comes home. If you have a large breed dog

and
he's allowed on your bed, the baby (who presumably will be on the bed

with
mom for nursing, etc.) is at some risk. Is now the time to wean the dog

off
the bed (or, better yet, to learn the limited conditions under which

being
on the bed is okay)? I'm not a big proponent of taking dogs' "rights"

away
from them, but this is one circumstance that may merit an exception.


Test the waters with other infants *in public* (and under controlled
conditions); reward gentle behavior with treats and praise. Do yourself

and
your dog the favor of being selective, though. If you introduce your

dogs
to
toddlers whose coordination isn't keen yet, it could quickly tun into a

slap
and pull fest in which the dog learns to dislike little people.


The day before the baby comes home, have the dog smell a hat / towel

that
was on the baby (bring it home in a plastic ziploc bag). This will

prepare
the dog for the baby's actual presence. Repeat the name of the baby over

and
over in a soothing way as the dog takes in deep scents.



The big day :

On the big day, have mom walk in without baby (they'll miss her and

possibly
be too excited for her to hold the baby safely). Dad comes in a couple
minutes later with the new family member.


The most crucial part : how you react to the mingling. If you behave in

a
panicked way and push the dog away from the baby, there's the potential

for
the dog making an immediate association that something is very much

alive,
very much real, and too good for the dog to be involved with. Instead,
stroke the dog and coo gently with praise as the dog "checks in with"

the
baby. Let the dog know that he has a job (i.e. to take care of the baby

by
checking in frequently, showing concern and love). Doing otherwise could

be
the beginning of big problems. No licking on the face, but the top of

the
head and the rest of the body are fine.



The first few days of the newborn's life might seem like the least

likely
time for you to take the dog down the street for a walk, but it is
super-important that you erase all possibility that the dog make the
association of the baby's arrival with a degree of compromised

attention.
It
might not be a long walk, but it *needs* to happen and it needs to be
genuine and intimate (as does your other interaction during the day).

These
walks need to be consistent for the first several days. I realize that

this
is the least convenient time in the world, but think of it this way : if

you
don't pay now, you just might pay later. Trust me, it's worth it. It

goes
without saying that this is a daddy job, not a mommy job. And in

general,
daddy has to be the dog's advocate during the first couple weeks. Mommy
might have the intentions to the keep the dog happy, but she won't have

the
energy or the presence of mind.

In the long run, what you're looking for isn't unbridled love,

exuberance,
and loads of unabated enthusiasm from the dog. This would be an

unrealistic
expectation --- not to mention dangerous for the baby. Instead, you are
looking for anything along the spectrum from indifference to concern for

the
baby's welfare. (The dog should be given the option of showing no

particular
attachment. That can be developed later).


One last word on "quality time". It wasn't until 8 or 9 days after my

baby's
birth that I realized an odd thing. Whereas before the birth, I would

never
go by one of my dogs without making an intentional step in their

direction
and being lovey-dovey with them (even if just for a few seconds), I

caught
myself passing them as if they were invisible after the birth. I would

step
over them to get where I was going, or just walk around them. As
insignificant as that may seem, I think it triggered a concern on their

part
that I was still willing to walk them, be with them, etc., but that my
attention was no longer of a very high quality. Don't let this happen to
your dog. He needs your time, but he's smart enough to know where your

heart
really lies. Think back on all the times when your dog has made you feel
more complete, more assured about life, etc. The least you can do at

this
stage is to let the dog know that his quality of life will remain high

and
constant. And if that isn't enough motivation to do the right thing, go

back
and read http://www.hsyc.org/HowCouldYou.htm .



It's all a lot of work, but the harmony and love that your baby and dogs
will share makes the whole process pay for itself quickly.


-- Hany
Visit Kiambu, Nina, and Kasha's World
http://home.earthlink.net/~rooke8/ridgebacks







  #3  
Old August 12th 03, 02:39 AM
Shelly
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Introducing your dog to your newborn.

Thanks for all the tips...introducing the new baby to our two dogs is one of
the things I am most worried about. We have a collie that will take it all
in stride, but we also have a chihuahua whose attitude towards kids is,
"Bite first, ask questions later." We're trying to make little changes now,
like having her sleep in her bed instead of ours, so she doesn't associate
the loss of bed priveledges with the baby. Truth be told, I'm finding this
change as hard as she does; for the past 4 years, she has slept in my arms
every night. I feel like I lost my security blanket!

Glad it worked out so well for you!

--
Michelle
critter edd 3/14/04

"Hany Hosny" wrote in message
ink.net...
Introducing your dog to your newborn.

If your dog has a pulse, then (s)he has a very wide spectrum of emotions.
Thus, it stands to reason that if your pooch has emotions, there are

plenty
of reasons to be nervous about the introduction and initial weeks of
interaction between your newborn and your dog. After all, this is the
ultimate mix of jealousy, lifestyle change, nervousness on your part, post
partum exhaustion, and so on.

Now, I'm no authority on this subject, but having just gone through it

with
pretty good success across the board (the "board" being a trinity of
Ridgebacks with very different personalities), I'm happy to share what has
worked well for us. For what it's worth, here's how we made for a happy

and
smooth transition from being without kids to bringing our first child into
the family.

The process starts *months* before the baby's birth. Here are some

pre-birth
measures to consider :

Rather than bombard your dog with new baby stuff (furniture, contraptions,
lotions, clothes, swings, seats, strollers, etc.) when the baby comes

home,
it's best to introduce the baby-related "stuff" to your dog before the

baby
is born. "Trick" your dog into thinking that the stuff has nothing to do
with the baby. After all, how can he make the connection between the baby
and its stuff when the baby isn't in the picture yet? Take all the baby
stuff and just place it around the house. Especially in the high traffic
areas like living rooms, family rooms, kitchens, and so on. Let it just

sit
there for a couple weeks.


Invite friends with infants to visit your house. Reward your dog with

praise
and treats) when he shows *gentle* concern for the baby. Encourage him to
become "light-footed" and to hold back his exuberance if he's inclined to
throw himself around when he gets excited.


Buy a doll and talk to it so that dog understands that this universe

allows
for the possibility that you might talk to and care for someone else,

other
than him.


Use baby lotion on yourself to accustom the dog to the baby's smell.


Wash the dog's bedding (and possibly some of your own clothes) in the same
baby laundry detergent that you plan to use for your lilttle one's

clothes.
Go ahead and wash all the cute outfits that you have for your baby in this
detergent before s/he comes home from the hospital. This will accustom the
dog to the scent of the baby's clothing - including the outfit that the

baby
wears when coming home from the hospital).


If your dog is allowed up on the bed, you'll want to give some thought to
how this will work when baby comes home. If you have a large breed dog and
he's allowed on your bed, the baby (who presumably will be on the bed with
mom for nursing, etc.) is at some risk. Is now the time to wean the dog

off
the bed (or, better yet, to learn the limited conditions under which being
on the bed is okay)? I'm not a big proponent of taking dogs' "rights" away
from them, but this is one circumstance that may merit an exception.


Test the waters with other infants *in public* (and under controlled
conditions); reward gentle behavior with treats and praise. Do yourself

and
your dog the favor of being selective, though. If you introduce your dogs

to
toddlers whose coordination isn't keen yet, it could quickly tun into a

slap
and pull fest in which the dog learns to dislike little people.


The day before the baby comes home, have the dog smell a hat / towel that
was on the baby (bring it home in a plastic ziploc bag). This will prepare
the dog for the baby's actual presence. Repeat the name of the baby over

and
over in a soothing way as the dog takes in deep scents.



The big day :

On the big day, have mom walk in without baby (they'll miss her and

possibly
be too excited for her to hold the baby safely). Dad comes in a couple
minutes later with the new family member.


The most crucial part : how you react to the mingling. If you behave in a
panicked way and push the dog away from the baby, there's the potential

for
the dog making an immediate association that something is very much alive,
very much real, and too good for the dog to be involved with. Instead,
stroke the dog and coo gently with praise as the dog "checks in with" the
baby. Let the dog know that he has a job (i.e. to take care of the baby by
checking in frequently, showing concern and love). Doing otherwise could

be
the beginning of big problems. No licking on the face, but the top of the
head and the rest of the body are fine.



The first few days of the newborn's life might seem like the least likely
time for you to take the dog down the street for a walk, but it is
super-important that you erase all possibility that the dog make the
association of the baby's arrival with a degree of compromised attention.

It
might not be a long walk, but it *needs* to happen and it needs to be
genuine and intimate (as does your other interaction during the day).

These
walks need to be consistent for the first several days. I realize that

this
is the least convenient time in the world, but think of it this way : if

you
don't pay now, you just might pay later. Trust me, it's worth it. It goes
without saying that this is a daddy job, not a mommy job. And in general,
daddy has to be the dog's advocate during the first couple weeks. Mommy
might have the intentions to the keep the dog happy, but she won't have

the
energy or the presence of mind.

In the long run, what you're looking for isn't unbridled love, exuberance,
and loads of unabated enthusiasm from the dog. This would be an

unrealistic
expectation --- not to mention dangerous for the baby. Instead, you are
looking for anything along the spectrum from indifference to concern for

the
baby's welfare. (The dog should be given the option of showing no

particular
attachment. That can be developed later).


One last word on "quality time". It wasn't until 8 or 9 days after my

baby's
birth that I realized an odd thing. Whereas before the birth, I would

never
go by one of my dogs without making an intentional step in their direction
and being lovey-dovey with them (even if just for a few seconds), I caught
myself passing them as if they were invisible after the birth. I would

step
over them to get where I was going, or just walk around them. As
insignificant as that may seem, I think it triggered a concern on their

part
that I was still willing to walk them, be with them, etc., but that my
attention was no longer of a very high quality. Don't let this happen to
your dog. He needs your time, but he's smart enough to know where your

heart
really lies. Think back on all the times when your dog has made you feel
more complete, more assured about life, etc. The least you can do at this
stage is to let the dog know that his quality of life will remain high and
constant. And if that isn't enough motivation to do the right thing, go

back
and read http://www.hsyc.org/HowCouldYou.htm .



It's all a lot of work, but the harmony and love that your baby and dogs
will share makes the whole process pay for itself quickly.


-- Hany
Visit Kiambu, Nina, and Kasha's World
http://home.earthlink.net/~rooke8/ridgebacks




 




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