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OT sort of - resuming relations after baby



 
 
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  #11  
Old November 15th 06, 07:16 AM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
deja.blues
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Posts: 242
Default OT sort of - resuming relations after baby

edited for grammar
"deja.blues" wrote in message
news:fLx6h.956$672.495@trndny01...
I'm bemused that in a breastfeeding newsgroup, noone seems to be aware

that
the very hormones that sustain breastfeeding also put a huge damper on
female sexual response. Breastfeeding lowers levels of estradiol (the
hormone responsible for keeping the urogenital tract lubricated and

supple)
and raises the prolactin hormone, which suppresses sexual desire and

lowers
testosterone - the hormone in both genders that stokes desire. If you are
breastfeeding for a year or more, not having sex can become a way of life.
Not to mention that after having a baby hanging off of you all day (and
night) the last thing you want is a full-grown man doing the same thing.


Hormones rule us as switches that go on and off. Many (most) women have no
interest in sex until they stop breastfeeding. This is so common as to be
ubiquitous.





  #12  
Old November 15th 06, 07:26 AM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
Irrational Number
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Posts: 26
Default OT sort of - resuming relations after baby

determined wrote:

My only real drive to "change it" comes from guilt more than anything.


Yeah. I've told DH he can go find some young
chickee if he wants to.

-- Anita --

  #13  
Old November 15th 06, 12:13 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
Sue
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Posts: 613
Default OT sort of - resuming relations after baby

"Irrational Number" wrote in message
Yeah. I've told DH he can go find some young
chickee if he wants to.


That's sad. Not a good way to continue a solid marriage.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)


  #14  
Old November 15th 06, 03:02 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
cjra
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Posts: 1,015
Default OT sort of - resuming relations after baby


deja.blues wrote:
"determined" wrote in message
. ..
I know this is going to sound just awful, but my daughter is 11 months old
now, and my husband and I have only had sex about 6 times since she was
born... I feel really horrible, but at first I was so exhausted I

couldn't
care less, and now, I've been bleeding and cramping since August when I

got
my mirena put in. My doc says it can take up to 6 months for that to

stop,
or I can just have it taken out and go with another form of bc. I really
like not having to think about bc, and I've made it this far, hoping

things
will get better soon. Something else doesn't seem to be quite right
either - I just don't want it. Like there is zero "urge".

I'm beginning to feel defective. What is wrong with me? I feel like a
horrible wife. My husband is very supportive, but I know he misses the
intimacy. I'm not sure what to do. "Just do it"?


I'm bemused that in a breastfeeding newsgroup, noone seems to be aware that
the very hormones that sustains breastfeeding also puts a huge damper on
female sexual response. Breastfeeding lowers levels of estradiol (the
hormone responsible for keeping the urogenital tract lubricated and supple)
and raises the prolactin hormone, which suppresses sexual desire and lowers
testosterone - the hormone in both genders that stokes desire. If you are
breastfeeding for a year or more, not having sex can become a way of life.
Not to mention that after having a baby hanging off of you all day (and
night) the last thing you want is a full-grown man doing the same thing.


Ok, that solidifies it. My hormones are all out of whack. I *want*
that! The nipples themselves are off limits (at least they were, now it
doesn't bother me), but I'm quite anxious for it and complaining
there's not enough.

  #15  
Old November 15th 06, 09:29 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
determined
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Posts: 66
Default OT sort of - resuming relations after baby


"Sue" wrote in message
news:KvWdnZ85i4D2a8fYnZ2dnUVZ_tidnZ2d@wideopenwest .com...
"Irrational Number" wrote in message
Yeah. I've told DH he can go find some young
chickee if he wants to.


That's sad. Not a good way to continue a solid marriage.


Um, I'm sure it's a JOKE. I joke with my husband like that too. It just
depends on your relationship and sense of humor.


  #16  
Old November 15th 06, 09:30 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
determined
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Posts: 66
Default OT sort of - resuming relations after baby


"deja.blues" wrote in message
news:2hy6h.1263$8u1.741@trndny04...
edited for grammar
"deja.blues" wrote in message
news:fLx6h.956$672.495@trndny01...
I'm bemused that in a breastfeeding newsgroup, noone seems to be aware

that
the very hormones that sustain breastfeeding also put a huge damper on
female sexual response. Breastfeeding lowers levels of estradiol (the
hormone responsible for keeping the urogenital tract lubricated and

supple)
and raises the prolactin hormone, which suppresses sexual desire and

lowers
testosterone - the hormone in both genders that stokes desire. If you are
breastfeeding for a year or more, not having sex can become a way of
life.
Not to mention that after having a baby hanging off of you all day (and
night) the last thing you want is a full-grown man doing the same thing.


Hormones rule us as switches that go on and off. Many (most) women have no
interest in sex until they stop breastfeeding. This is so common as to be
ubiquitous.


Well, I haven't been breastfeeding for over 6 months.


  #17  
Old November 16th 06, 06:33 AM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
Irrational Number
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Posts: 26
Default OT sort of - resuming relations after baby

determined wrote:

"Sue" wrote in message
news:KvWdnZ85i4D2a8fYnZ2dnUVZ_tidnZ2d@wideopenwest .com...

"Irrational Number" wrote in message

Yeah. I've told DH he can go find some young
chickee if he wants to.


That's sad. Not a good way to continue a solid marriage.



Um, I'm sure it's a JOKE. I joke with my husband like that too. It just
depends on your relationship and sense of humor.


Thank you, determined! I did put a smiley there...

-- Anita --
  #18  
Old November 16th 06, 03:48 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
Sue
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Posts: 613
Default OT sort of - resuming relations after baby

"Irrational Number" wrote in message
Thank you, determined! I did put a smiley there...


I knew you were kidding. I saw the smiley face. However, the fact remains
that many women once they become mothers is to forget about their husbands
and their relationship. Many mothers put so much time and energy into the
kids that they forget that they are separate from their kids and lose sight
of themselves. I think the best gift parents can give to their children, is
a healthy loving relationship and showing them that their marriage is
important to them. Face it, motherhood can suck the life out of us women and
it's better to create a balance than to forget about your life.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)


  #19  
Old November 16th 06, 06:16 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
emilymr
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Posts: 34
Default OT sort of - resuming relations after baby

On Nov 16, 6:48 am, "Sue" wrote:
"Irrational Number" wrote in message
Thank you, determined! I did put a smiley there...I knew you were kidding. I saw the smiley face. However, the fact remains

that many women once they become mothers is to forget about their husbands
and their relationship.


I agree with Sue... It's not like I have a fantastic sex drive (ha). I
didn't even have a fantastic sex drive *before* I had Micah. But I do
believe that not only is having sex is an important part of your
relationship with your partner, but that it's not healthy for the
relationship *not* to have sex. And sometimes that means doing it even
if it's not the top of your priority list.

Obviously I don't think people should pressure/guilt their
breastfeeding/exhausted partners into having sex. And obviously there
are ways partners can take some of the burden off mothers so we're not
so exhausted. But I think relationships are a two-way street, and those
of us who don't necessarily want to jump in the sack all the time need
to make more of an effort.

(dang, DH would be calling me miss-preachy-no-action if he read this
post...)

Em
mama to Micah, 11/14/04

  #20  
Old November 16th 06, 06:37 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
Workingmom
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Posts: 71
Default OT sort of - resuming relations after baby

emilymr skrev:
Obviously I don't think people should pressure/guilt their
breastfeeding/exhausted partners into having sex. And obviously there
are ways partners can take some of the burden off mothers so we're not
so exhausted. But I think relationships are a two-way street, and those
of us who don't necessarily want to jump in the sack all the time need
to make more of an effort.

(dang, DH would be calling me miss-preachy-no-action if he read this
post...)

Em
mama to Micah, 11/14/04


In Denmark is was once said that the best way for a man of obtaining sex
in a marriage is to grab a vacuum cleaner and do the dishes (not WITH
the VC, though)

It's not like something for something, but if you've sat on the sofa
knitting for an hour while your hubby does some of the necessary work
you'd have more energy at bedtime to think about other things than sleep.

Tine, Denmark


 




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