My turn ... 4 month old stopped sleeping

I know this has been discussed on here a few times, but it's my turn to
whine now. DS's nighttime sleeping habits have regressed to about where
he was at 5 weeks - maybe even worse than that. He had been sleeping
through the night, every night. He's 4 1/2 months right now. Around the 4
month mark, he started waking every night. His current pattern is to go to
sleep around 8 (sometimes 7 if he's really sleepy, sometimes 9 if he's
not), then wake around 2ish. I feed him and then I put him back in bed. He
seems sound asleep, but wakes up crying in a few minutes. He usually wakes
up every 15 minutes or so for an hour and then goes back to sleep
(finally) for an hour or so. If we're lucky, he'll stay asleep until I get
up at 5:30 to feed him before heading off to day care. Usually though, he
wakes again at 4 and then goes back to sleep and won't eat at 5:30 before
going to day care.

I've tried sending DH in to comfort him back to sleep thinking that maybe
he isn't really hungry. DH will get him back to sleep, but he wakes up
again minutes after he lays him down in the crib. After a couple of times
of this, I give up and go feed him. I really don't think that's the
problem though, since he wakes back up after I feed him, too. Another
reason that I don't think it's hunger thing is because when he does on
days that I don't work, he eats at 2ish and 4ish (while he's basically
asleep) and then doesn't eat again until 10.

Over the holidays, I tried bringing him into our bed. We had tried
cosleeping when he was tiny, but it didn't work because he'd immediately
spit-up all over me if I nursed him lying down and he'd wake if anything
in the bed came near him. His spit-up problem is under control now, so
after he woke the first time, I just brought him in the with me and fed
him. We both slept very fitfully because we kept waking each other up. He
doesn't comfort nurse because I have a strong letdown and he learned early
that he didn't like that. He sucks his thumb instead. Several times, I
heard him start enthusiastically sucking his thumb to soothe himself back
to sleep. However, when that didn't work, he just starts screaming and the
only way to get him back to sleep is to stand up and walk him around the
room or go to his room and rock in the glider. So, that didn't really help
much.

I don't know what else to do. I'm not really willing to let him cry. I
tried leaving in his crib and comforting him (patting his back and talking
softly). He quieted, but didn't go back to sleep. My arm went numb from
rubbing his back, but as soon as I'd stop, he's start crying.

So, there's my whine for the day. He just seems to have lost his ability
to self-soothe. We used to here him wake all the time and he'd make a
little noise and then you'd hear him sucking his thumb and he'd go back to
sleep. I don't know how to re-teach that since I didn't teach him in the
first place.

Manda

I don't have any advice, and this might not help any at all. But it is
normal for babies to go from sleeping through the night until about 4-6
months, and then start waking up.

He may be starting to teeth, even if he has no outward signs. And that's
pretty painful, so it could be why he's crying more at night. (I just
recently found out why babies cry when they teeth... I've got a tooth coming
through, probably a wisdom tooth... and boy does it HURT.)

It's usually linked to reaching new milestones or teething... and from the
experience I've had with other moms, I don't think theres much you can do to
fix it. But I'm sure someone out there will have SOME advice for you other
than crying it out.

Cadie
wrote in message ...
I know this has been discussed on here a few times, but it's my turn to
whine now. DS's nighttime sleeping habits have regressed to about where
he was at 5 weeks - maybe even worse than that. He had been sleeping
through the night, every night. He's 4 1/2 months right now. Around the 4
month mark, he started waking every night. His current pattern is to go to
sleep around 8 (sometimes 7 if he's really sleepy, sometimes 9 if he's
not), then wake around 2ish. I feed him and then I put him back in bed. He
seems sound asleep, but wakes up crying in a few minutes. He usually wakes
up every 15 minutes or so for an hour and then goes back to sleep
(finally) for an hour or so. If we're lucky, he'll stay asleep until I get
up at 5:30 to feed him before heading off to day care. Usually though, he
wakes again at 4 and then goes back to sleep and won't eat at 5:30 before
going to day care.

I've tried sending DH in to comfort him back to sleep thinking that maybe
he isn't really hungry. DH will get him back to sleep, but he wakes up
again minutes after he lays him down in the crib. After a couple of times
of this, I give up and go feed him. I really don't think that's the
problem though, since he wakes back up after I feed him, too. Another
reason that I don't think it's hunger thing is because when he does on
days that I don't work, he eats at 2ish and 4ish (while he's basically
asleep) and then doesn't eat again until 10.

Over the holidays, I tried bringing him into our bed. We had tried
cosleeping when he was tiny, but it didn't work because he'd immediately
spit-up all over me if I nursed him lying down and he'd wake if anything
in the bed came near him. His spit-up problem is under control now, so
after he woke the first time, I just brought him in the with me and fed
him. We both slept very fitfully because we kept waking each other up. He
doesn't comfort nurse because I have a strong letdown and he learned early
that he didn't like that. He sucks his thumb instead. Several times, I
heard him start enthusiastically sucking his thumb to soothe himself back
to sleep. However, when that didn't work, he just starts screaming and the
only way to get him back to sleep is to stand up and walk him around the
room or go to his room and rock in the glider. So, that didn't really help
much.

I don't know what else to do. I'm not really willing to let him cry. I
tried leaving in his crib and comforting him (patting his back and talking
softly). He quieted, but didn't go back to sleep. My arm went numb from
rubbing his back, but as soon as I'd stop, he's start crying.

So, there's my whine for the day. He just seems to have lost his ability
to self-soothe. We used to here him wake all the time and he'd make a
little noise and then you'd hear him sucking his thumb and he'd go back to
sleep. I don't know how to re-teach that since I didn't teach him in the
first place.

Manda

wrote in message ...
I know this has been discussed on here a few times, but it's my turn to
whine now. DS's nighttime sleeping habits have regressed to about where
he was at 5 weeks - maybe even worse than that. He had been sleeping
through the night, every night. He's 4 1/2 months right now. Around the 4
month mark, he started waking every night. His current pattern is to go to
sleep around 8 (sometimes 7 if he's really sleepy, sometimes 9 if he's
not), then wake around 2ish. I feed him and then I put him back in bed. He
seems sound asleep, but wakes up crying in a few minutes. He usually wakes
up every 15 minutes or so for an hour and then goes back to sleep
(finally) for an hour or so. If we're lucky, he'll stay asleep until I get
up at 5:30 to feed him before heading off to day care. Usually though, he
wakes again at 4 and then goes back to sleep and won't eat at 5:30 before
going to day care.

I've tried sending DH in to comfort him back to sleep thinking that maybe
he isn't really hungry. DH will get him back to sleep, but he wakes up
again minutes after he lays him down in the crib. After a couple of times
of this, I give up and go feed him. I really don't think that's the
problem though, since he wakes back up after I feed him, too. Another
reason that I don't think it's hunger thing is because when he does on
days that I don't work, he eats at 2ish and 4ish (while he's basically
asleep) and then doesn't eat again until 10.

Over the holidays, I tried bringing him into our bed. We had tried
cosleeping when he was tiny, but it didn't work because he'd immediately
spit-up all over me if I nursed him lying down and he'd wake if anything
in the bed came near him. His spit-up problem is under control now, so
after he woke the first time, I just brought him in the with me and fed
him. We both slept very fitfully because we kept waking each other up. He
doesn't comfort nurse because I have a strong letdown and he learned early
that he didn't like that. He sucks his thumb instead. Several times, I
heard him start enthusiastically sucking his thumb to soothe himself back
to sleep. However, when that didn't work, he just starts screaming and the
only way to get him back to sleep is to stand up and walk him around the
room or go to his room and rock in the glider. So, that didn't really help
much.

I don't know what else to do. I'm not really willing to let him cry. I
tried leaving in his crib and comforting him (patting his back and talking
softly). He quieted, but didn't go back to sleep. My arm went numb from
rubbing his back, but as soon as I'd stop, he's start crying.

So, there's my whine for the day. He just seems to have lost his ability
to self-soothe. We used to here him wake all the time and he'd make a
little noise and then you'd hear him sucking his thumb and he'd go back to
sleep. I don't know how to re-teach that since I didn't teach him in the
first place.



a great book to try is "no cry sleep solution" by elizabeth pantley. it
worked well for us. see http://tinyurl.com/2d2b4
--
elizabeth (in australia)
DS - born 20-aug-02

In article F_%Hb.70361$VB2.137486@attbi_s51,
"Mom2Aries" wrote:

I don't have any advice, and this might not help any at all. But it is
normal for babies to go from sleeping through the night until about 4-6
months, and then start waking up.

It is. I am another person it happened to. The hardest part is getting used
to waking up *again* -- it's a killer!

I don't know how helpful my experience is, because DS always went back to
sleep when bfed. Still, I expect that you will find that while his sleep
pattern is disorganised now, it will improve -- DS developed a long-term
pattern of bfing at bedtime, then waking for a feed at midnight and then at
4am. When the pattern is consistent, it is easier for you to live with.

WRT the repeated waking/crying, maybe try swaddling again? or a lovey?

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"Jeez; if only those Ancient Greek storytellers had known about the astonishing
creature that is the *Usenet hydra*: you cut off one head, and *a stupider one*
grows back..." -- MJ, cam.misc

Chookie wrote:
In article F_%Hb.70361$VB2.137486@attbi_s51,
"Mom2Aries" wrote:

I don't have any advice, and this might not help any at all. But it is
normal for babies to go from sleeping through the night until about 4-6
months, and then start waking up.

It is. I am another person it happened to. The hardest part is getting used
to waking up *again* -- it's a killer!

I don't know how helpful my experience is, because DS always went back to
sleep when bfed. Still, I expect that you will find that while his sleep
pattern is disorganised now, it will improve -- DS developed a long-term
pattern of bfing at bedtime, then waking for a feed at midnight and then at
4am. When the pattern is consistent, it is easier for you to live with.

WRT the repeated waking/crying, maybe try swaddling again? or a lovey?

Last night we decided not to feed him if he woke up since it seemed
obvious that he didn't need it the last few nights and it didn't help
anything except keep us all up longer. So, he wakes at 12:45. DH tries to
put him back down twice with no success. I rock him into a deep slumber,
but he wakes up immediately after I lay him down. We try soothing him
while leaving him in the crib, shaking the crib (they do that at day care
and it works), and talking softly. Nothing works and I just feed him after
an hour of this. Of course, the little snot eats happily and falls back
asleep for the rest of the night *sigh*! Some predictability would be
nice. So, our new strategy for tomorrow night is that I'll feed him the
first time he wakes up and put him back down. DH handles any other
awakenings.

Manda

My boy is a little over 4 months and his sleeping pattern has changed as well.
Just when he had finally fallen into a fairly predictable (and decent) schedule
of sleeping at night it changed. He was going to bed around 7:30, waking
exactly one hour later for another feed, then sleeping until 12AM or 1AM,
feeding, sleeping until 5AM, feeding, and waking up for the day around 7 or
7:30. We co-sleep, and I was in heaven with this schedule!
Now, all of a sudden, at night we do our usual bedtime routine of bath, rocking
and singing, and then lay down to breastfeed in bed. It seems that everything
is right on track but then he finishes eating, unlatches himself, and begins to
fuss , escalating into a cry. Picking him up and trying to rock to sleep would
only make the crying worse.... After a few night of close observation I
realized that he is only trying to get himself to sleep, and this night time
cry is very different than a normal cry. It is hard to lay next to a crying
baby but it truly seems this is his way of getting himself to sleep. After only
a few minutes he nods off.
The concept of crying it out truly horrifies me but I don't feel this is what I
am doing. As I lay next to him and whisper shhh shhh he is perfectly aware that
I am there and his cries never escalate to screams of bloody murder. Picking
him up seems to disturb him more.
Throughout the night he is waking more frequently and its sometimes every hour
or two. He roots around looking to nurse himself back to sleep. I am currently
reading The No Cry Sleep Solution, and using her suggestions for solving this
problem. Its hard on those groggy sleepless nights to keep at it, and then
actually remember it the morning, but it does seem to be working.
Thanks for letting me unload....... Good luck to you!
~Tracy

Just adding my own personal data points: two of my 3 kids' sleeping
patterns went to hell at about 4 months. (The other kid had a hellish
sleeping pattern from day 1 LOL) My pediatrician says it's the age
when they start having dreams and the brief wakings that we all
experience. Plus, there's usually teething.

My first (who is now 8 YO) spontaneously reverted to sleeping through
the night within a month or two of beginning to wake up. Maybe yours
will, too! The other, who is now 12 MO, has continued to be an
inconsistent sleeper since 4 months, with some periods of nightmarish
nights. (We did let her cry a bit at 9 months and this bought us about
6 weeks of good nights, but then it went to hell again.)

You seem to have good instincts about how to deal. I agree that your
child's too young to let cry. I also agree that if feeding him doesn't
help, that you should avoid feeding him. But if a feeding does buy you
a decent amount of time, then do it.

Remember (I mention this because I myself have trouble with it) that
how you handle these wakings need not become permanent. This baby is
very very young, and you need to do what you can to get all of you as
much sleep as is feasible--preferably good sleep, not constantly
interrupted or disturbed sleep. But it may be a rough few months.