OT FEAR

"Fear leads to Anger. Anger leads to Hate. Hate leads to
suffering." So true... So true! Think about it the next time you
are fearful of a situation. You will see it quickly turns to
anger! If the intensity is great it will quickly turn to hate,
(" I hate so & so!"). Other times it will slowly turn to hate.
Next comes the suffering! I am sure everyone has suffered one
time or another after having an argument with a loved one.
Master Yoda (or George Lucas) was very wise and insightful when he
said this!
I can't think of a better way to describe what these children are
feeling! I think everyone would agree with me when I say these
children are full of anger, hate, and suffering! Everyone knows
these children live in anger. Yes, that means they really live in
a constant state of suffering! Which also means that the root of
their anger, hatred, and suffering is really fear! Fear from the
first time they were left alone, fear from the first time they
were hit, etc. By now their fear is everywhere and past fears are
buried very deep, it will be hard to see and difficult to find as
the anger protects it and keeps it safe. It is too scary to even
look at that fear! Follow Yoda's words backwards to find the fear.
Next time your child is angry, say to him/her, "I can see you
are really suffering, it must be very painful." Or "You are really
suffering, aren't you?" Again follow the words backwards. In time
you will find the fear. The key to success is seeing the fear and
making an environment in which his fears can be alleviated. At
that point the child will begin to calm and start recognizing his
own fears. Be careful though, you can't do it for him, you can
only support him and make it safe for him to realize his fear.
They don't feel safe enough to see their fear. Use your efforts
to make him/her feel safe enough to see his/her own fears. Stop
yourself and think, what is this child afraid of right now (fear
of being wrong, fear of acceptance, fear of looking dumb, fear of
being called a bad name, fear of being hurt, fear of not having
his/her way etc.).

Test this out on yourself first, I believe you will find that it
is true. Think of something you are angry about, something you
hate, or something you are suffering over and follow it back until
you figure out what you are fearful about (fear that people won't
understand, fear of acceptance, fear of not being normal, fear of
failure, afraid it won't work, afraid of what will happen next,
etc. etc!)

Remember the "Nothing but Cash" story on this website? Scared was
more dangerous than mean! In otherwords fear is the most
dangerous of all. Think about times when something is fearful to
you, your instinct tells you to stay away from whatever it is. No
one can convince you that it is ok and safe cuz inside you know it
is horrid and you will get hurt. So you avoid it at all costs.
Now think, what could someone do when you are feeling that way to
calm you down and help you see that what you are afraid of most is
the fear and that the situation probably isn't as bad as you
perceive it at the moment? Whatever it is, it is going to take
time and patience before you can calm down enough and build up
strength to get near the situation.

At the beginning of that statement, Yoda said "Fear is the path to
the dark side." So true... So true!!!

Master Yoda said this when he refused to train Anakin, stating the
boy had too much fear in him. The entire quote goes as follows:

"Fear is the path to the dark side.
Fear leads to anger.
Anger leads to hate.
Hate leads to suffering."

As we watch episode I and II, we see that Anakin has a tremendous
amount of suffering and turmoil. Which eventually is the path and
foundation for Darth Vader. In later episodes, it becomes obvious
that Darth Vader is cold, uncaring, and evil. He ends up using the
evil to cover all the pain and suffering he endured in the past.
In the last Episode, Luke finally breaks through the wall, but
only right before Vader's death.

You have the power to make a new path for your child. Look, find
the fear and alleviate it and start building a new foundation and
path for your child. Otherwise the fear will lead to the dark side.