Kids & sleep (mini-vent)

Im just wondering what the "norm" is around here for bedtimes/waking times.
I have 3 kids ages 8, 5 and 8 mos. The baby goes to bed last - between 8:30
and 9:00. The middle child goes to bed first at 8:00, my oldest at 8:30.

I ask because even though this seems like enough sleep for them for their
ages, it's not for me! By the time I get the baby in bed, Im exhausted and
dont make it much past 10. That's usually spent cleaning up the kitchen or
doing a load of laundry.

Then, the baby is up at 5:30, sometimes around 5 for the day. Just when he
starts getting cranky and tired, I have to get the my oldest up for school.
So Xander has to wait for his nursing session until I get Kaylie off to
school (8:15)

Anyway, Im exhausted and I have no time to myself it seems. While the baby
naps (twice a day, about 2 hrs each nap) Is my time with Noah and my time to
get stuff done. Evenings are shot with practices, shopping, errands, etc. I
forgot what it's like to do anything alone. When I mention to my mom, my
sister they say something like "and you want more?" Whatever.

I'd just like a system or schedule that works, it seems like everything I
try lasts for about a day and it's total chaos around here.

Kari
mom to 3

"Kari" wrote in message
...
Im just wondering what the "norm" is around here for bedtimes/waking
times.
I have 3 kids ages 8, 5 and 8 mos. The baby goes to bed last - between
8:30
and 9:00. The middle child goes to bed first at 8:00, my oldest at 8:30.

My kids go to bed earlier The boys at 7 pm and Charlotte at 8 pm.
Starting at 6 months old even the baby has an earlier bedtime - 7 pm. I
would just get her/him when she/he woke up again to eat. But I had to have
an earlier bedtime for all of them.

I ask because even though this seems like enough sleep for them for their
ages, it's not for me! By the time I get the baby in bed, Im exhausted and
dont make it much past 10. That's usually spent cleaning up the kitchen or
doing a load of laundry.

Why do you wait so late to clean the kitchen? I do it while the kids are
eating, or after they're done, or while they're in the tub. What do you
mean by *doing* laundry? I put laundry on in the AM, fold it at night while
watching TV.

Then, the baby is up at 5:30, sometimes around 5 for the day. Just when he
starts getting cranky and tired, I have to get the my oldest up for
school.
So Xander has to wait for his nursing session until I get Kaylie off to
school (8:15)

I put the baby in a bouncy chair on the floor in the living room, and I got
on the couch and went back to sleep till it was time to get up with the next
kid.

Anyway, Im exhausted and I have no time to myself it seems. While the baby
naps (twice a day, about 2 hrs each nap) Is my time with Noah and my time
to
get stuff done.

I remember that, no more "nap when the baby naps", huh?

Evenings are shot with practices, shopping, errands, etc.

Can't you do the errands in the day?

I
forgot what it's like to do anything alone. When I mention to my mom, my
sister they say something like "and you want more?" Whatever.

Ugh, so helpful.

I'd just like a system or schedule that works, it seems like everything I
try lasts for about a day and it's total chaos around here.

Kari
mom to 3

I wouldn't be too thrilled to not have a schedule and the baby is already 8
months old. I *have* to have a routine too.
Even though mine is about to change, I'll still have one.

Kari wrote:

Im just wondering what the "norm" is around here for bedtimes/waking times.
I have 3 kids ages 8, 5 and 8 mos. The baby goes to bed last - between 8:30
and 9:00. The middle child goes to bed first at 8:00, my oldest at 8:30.

That's about par for the course around here, with kids
9, almost 7, and 11 months.

I ask because even though this seems like enough sleep for them for their
ages, it's not for me! By the time I get the baby in bed, Im exhausted and
dont make it much past 10. That's usually spent cleaning up the kitchen or
doing a load of laundry.,

Cram the housework earlier in the day. I know--not easy,
but it's the only way to be able to carve some of that evening
time out for yourself.

Then, the baby is up at 5:30, sometimes around 5 for the day. Just when he
starts getting cranky and tired, I have to get the my oldest up for school.
So Xander has to wait for his nursing session until I get Kaylie off to
school (8:15)

Hmm... that's earlier than mine get up. The boys
usually haul out around 6:30, and Genevieve at 7:00. What's
your DH doing? Is he able to help out with the morning scene?
Can you make Kaylie more responsible for her own morning
routine? You may need to trim Xander's naps a little so that
he sleeps in a little (if that works).

Anyway, Im exhausted and I have no time to myself it seems. While the baby
naps (twice a day, about 2 hrs each nap) Is my time with Noah and my time to
get stuff done. Evenings are shot with practices, shopping, errands, etc. I
forgot what it's like to do anything alone. When I mention to my mom, my
sister they say something like "and you want more?" Whatever.

We get by largely by DH helping a lot and making use
of others to give us some couple time. Here's our basic
schedule:

Morning:
Don't hate me, but DH does most of the morning routine.
The boys get up around 6:30-7:00. They're responsible for
making their bed, getting dressed, making their own
breakfast, and brushing their teeth. I grab the baby when
she wakes and take care of her and referee any outbursts
from the boys while DH showers. DH takes the boys to the bus
stop.

Daytime:
Genevieve does one or two naps during the day, for
a total of 3-4 hours (two usually, but she's heading towards
just one nap). I try really hard to get as much done as
possible during the day. I do not spend all her waking time
playing with her. I shoot for having specific times that
are me concentrating 100 percent on playing with her, other
times while she's "helping" me do things around the house,
and other times while she plays nearby on her own while I
work. I do also make sure to get out a couple times a week,
even if it's only to run errands. I try to do the bulk of
the housework I do during the day, either during her naps
or while she's awake. Evenings are a lost cause for that
sort of thing, so daytime is much better. Obviously, you
have an older child at home to entertain as well, which
complicates things, but won't he be going off to school
next year? That might give you a wee bit of breathing
room. What about preschool?

After school:
When the boys get home from school, the busiest
part of the day starts. It's all homework, activities,
trying to get dinner going, etc. We eat out a lot, or
I do meals that either require little prep or can be
prepared mostly during the day before the kids get home.
DH helps when he gets home by ferrying kids around,
procuring dinner, or getting as many kids out of my hair
as possible. If Mom's home and available, she'll often
take the kids who don't have activities (e.g., she'll take
Colin and Genevieve while I take Adrian to his piano
lesson so that I can relax during his lesson instead of
wrangling kids). Often, both boys are in the same activities,
so I only need to wrangle Genevieve. On Fridays, when they
have back to back dance classes (4-5:15 and 5:15-6:45),
DH shows up by 5:15. One of us takes Colin out to dinner
and the other stays and then takes Adrian out when he's
done. We, uh, discuss who's going to take the baby ;-)
I used to always take her, but it's a more even distribution
now.

Bedtime:
DH does the bedtime routine and gets everyone
ready for bed and in bed. He hollers when G. is ready
and I go up and nurse her before bed. Generally, I've
done the housework I'm going to do before then, but
sometimes I have to play catchup. I use the evening
time to do work or to relax a little. I'm usually in
bed by 11-11:30, though I'm trying to move that a little
earlier because I'm too tired.

Weekends:
We each try to schedule some personal time during
the weekend and juggle it around things that have to be
done and getting kids to activities. We only have weekend
activities (aside from church) during soccer season. Frankly,
I hate it, but the boys love soccer and I think it's good
for them, so we suck it up. Usually DH handles soccer, but
this season especially we have a lot of overlap, so I have
to take one to practice or a game.

We also try very hard to regularly get out with just the
two of us, with either my parents or the babysitting co-op
babysitting.

I don't know if that helps at all, but that's what we do.
I'm tired (especially since I'm still doing nighttime
feedings), but not unmanageably so. I figure in another
six months, I'll be perkier. I guess the things that
stand out to me in your schedule are the early wakeup
(can you get him to sleep longer if you shorten some
naps?) and wondering whether your DH can pick up some
of the work.

Best wishes,
Ericka

"Kari" wrote in message
...
Im just wondering what the "norm" is around here for bedtimes/waking
times.
I have 3 kids ages 8, 5 and 8 mos. The baby goes to bed last - between
8:30
and 9:00. The middle child goes to bed first at 8:00, my oldest at 8:30.

I ask because even though this seems like enough sleep for them for their
ages, it's not for me! By the time I get the baby in bed, Im exhausted and
dont make it much past 10. That's usually spent cleaning up the kitchen or
doing a load of laundry.

Then, the baby is up at 5:30, sometimes around 5 for the day. Just when he
starts getting cranky and tired, I have to get the my oldest up for
school.
So Xander has to wait for his nursing session until I get Kaylie off to
school (8:15)


Well, one thing I would do is see if a feed and back to sleep at 5:30 is
possible.

Anyway, Im exhausted and I have no time to myself it seems. While the baby
naps (twice a day, about 2 hrs each nap) Is my time with Noah and my time
to
get stuff done. Evenings are shot with practices, shopping, errands, etc.
I
forgot what it's like to do anything alone. When I mention to my mom, my
sister they say something like "and you want more?" Whatever.

I'd just like a system or schedule that works, it seems like everything I
try lasts for about a day and it's total chaos around here.

Kari
mom to 3



I know nothing about the 8 and 5. I can tell you what my kids do.

Baby 8 months. Bedtime up 'till recently 7:00. Seems to be moving to 7:45.
One wake up in the night ~1:00 or 2:00 then sleep till 6:00-7:00. One am nap
and one pm nap that varies.

Son 3.5 years. Bedtime 7:30 - 8:00. One pm nap at 1:00 which varies from 1-2
hours.

The one thing that might make me think the 5 is not getting enough sleep is
if you consistently have to wake HIM. But that may be just my quirk.

S

"Kari" wrote in message
...
Im just wondering what the "norm" is around here for bedtimes/waking
times.
I have 3 kids ages 8, 5 and 8 mos. The baby goes to bed last - between
8:30
and 9:00. The middle child goes to bed first at 8:00, my oldest at 8:30.

I ask because even though this seems like enough sleep for them for their
ages, it's not for me! By the time I get the baby in bed, Im exhausted and
dont make it much past 10. That's usually spent cleaning up the kitchen or
doing a load of laundry.

Then, the baby is up at 5:30, sometimes around 5 for the day. Just when he
starts getting cranky and tired, I have to get the my oldest up for
school.
So Xander has to wait for his nursing session until I get Kaylie off to
school (8:15)

Anyway, Im exhausted and I have no time to myself it seems. While the baby
naps (twice a day, about 2 hrs each nap) Is my time with Noah and my time
to
get stuff done. Evenings are shot with practices, shopping, errands, etc.
I
forgot what it's like to do anything alone. When I mention to my mom, my
sister they say something like "and you want more?" Whatever.

I'd just like a system or schedule that works, it seems like everything I
try lasts for about a day and it's total chaos around here.

Kari
mom to 3



I cannot remember if you are a SAHM or WOHM. In either case, if you want a
schedule, have you considered Flylady.com? Yeah heay, everyone says that and
it is not for everyone. But what I have found is that small things help.
Keeping on top of the kitchen rather than facing a big mess after dinner.
Having little routines that maximize the use of small chunks of time....
Then, when a big (ish) chunk of time comes, like the hour after yoru baby's
bedtime, you can get a little more done, or you can chill. And STILL go to
bed earlier.

Just a thought.

S

Kari wrote:
Im just wondering what the "norm" is around here for bedtimes/waking times.
I have 3 kids ages 8, 5 and 8 mos. The baby goes to bed last - between 8:30
and 9:00. The middle child goes to bed first at 8:00, my oldest at 8:30.

Mine (8 and 2) go to bed between 8:30 and 9, now that it's daylight
savings time. Before DST, it was 7:30-8. They usually get up somewhere
beteen 6 and 7 a.m.


I ask because even though this seems like enough sleep for them for their
ages, it's not for me! By the time I get the baby in bed, Im exhausted and
dont make it much past 10. That's usually spent cleaning up the kitchen or
doing a load of laundry.


I go to bed as soon as they do. I try to get up by 4 a.m., so I can do
some work while everybody else is sleeping.

Clisby

In article , Kari says...

Im just wondering what the "norm" is around here for bedtimes/waking times.
I have 3 kids ages 8, 5 and 8 mos. The baby goes to bed last - between 8:30
and 9:00. The middle child goes to bed first at 8:00, my oldest at 8:30.

I ask because even though this seems like enough sleep for them for their
ages, it's not for me! By the time I get the baby in bed, Im exhausted and
dont make it much past 10. That's usually spent cleaning up the kitchen or
doing a load of laundry.

Then, the baby is up at 5:30, sometimes around 5 for the day. Just when he
starts getting cranky and tired, I have to get the my oldest up for school.
So Xander has to wait for his nursing session until I get Kaylie off to
school (8:15)

Anyway, Im exhausted and I have no time to myself it seems. While the baby
naps (twice a day, about 2 hrs each nap) Is my time with Noah and my time to
get stuff done. Evenings are shot with practices, shopping, errands, etc. I
forgot what it's like to do anything alone. When I mention to my mom, my
sister they say something like "and you want more?" Whatever.

I'd just like a system or schedule that works, it seems like everything I
try lasts for about a day and it's total chaos around here.

Kari
mom to 3



Hmmm - sounds like you're getting no help.

What's the sleep schedule for the big baby that sleeps in the master bedroom?

Banty

Clisby wrote:

Mine (8 and 2) go to bed between 8:30 and 9, now that it's daylight
savings time. Before DST, it was 7:30-8. They usually get up somewhere
beteen 6 and 7 a.m.

Ugh. Don't you hate DST? I do.

The twins (2 1/2 yo) go to bed between 8:00-8:30 and goof around for
about an hour before falling asleep. I have to go in and "tuck" them in
once or twice. The are usually asleep by 9:30.

Isabella really wants to be asleep between 8:30-9:00. She doesn't get
long naps in the day (the twins keep waking her), she just gets cat
naps, so she's tired and falls asleep very easily.

All of them wake up between 6:00-7:00 am.

--
Brigitte aa #2145
http://ca.geocities.com/bironmonger/
Please excuse the quality. It is under construction and I am still
learning. :-)

"To repeat what others have said, requires education; to challenge it,
requires brains."
~ Mary Pettibone Poole

Kari wrote:
Im just wondering what the "norm" is around here for bedtimes/waking
times.

Mine are 3yo and 5yo. They go to bed at 9-9:30pm. The 3yo usually gets up
with me at 7am and the 5yo usually sleeps until 8am. The 3yo naps a couple
hours in the afternoon.

Im
exhausted and don't make it much past 10.

5am is a darn early start to the day though!! A 10pm bedtime is reasonable
if you are getting up at 5!! What about offering to feed Xander right before
you get Kaylie up even if he isn't asking?

Evenings are shot with practices,
shopping, errands, etc.

OH - I usually send dh if there is something we need in the evening (hardly
ever though). I've only had one evening practice. Hunter had swim lessons.
It did really mess things up so I don't know how I'll deal with that when
they are bigger.

I'd just like a system or schedule that works, it seems like
everything I try lasts for about a day and it's total chaos around
here.

I can share my day.

Weekdays

7am - wake up. Get ready, let dog out, spend time with Luke, get his
breakfast. Make sure there is something for lunch for the babysitter and
kids on Tues and Thurs. Make all the beds I can.
8am - I go to work. Sometimes Hunter is up, sometimes not. Zero commute -
home office.
8-4/5 - I'm at work. Dh and the sitter don't do much but hang out with the
kids and feed them :-)
4/5pm - greet the kids, put dishes away, load lunch dishes in dishwasher,
plan for and fix supper. Dh will sometimes do supper and then I have more
time with the kids. Maybe go to the park or something.
6pm - Eat supper.
6:30 - clean up from supper usually, including putting away anything that
shouldn't be in the kitchen.
7pm - play outside if nice, play inside, read to kids, or watch TV. We go
for walks or bike rides often. We'll probably go to the pool some this
summer.
8pm - Bath if its a bath night or the kids might stay out a while longer.
If bath night I clean the bathroom and pick up upstairs. If it is no bath I
pick up the living room (doesn't take long). Dh does bath if I need to work
in the evening at all. Some days we just sit around in front of the TV
getting annoyed with the boys being wild :-) I hate winter, lol.
8:45 or so - eat if anyone wants to and then brush teeth and into bed. I
tuck Hunter in is all but I have to sit with Luke. I read a magazine or
book for 30-40 minutes and am back downstairs by 9:45.
9:45- I'll do a chore that didn't get done earlier if it is killing me (like
sweep the floor) otherwise I do whatever I want. I have to do garbage's and
cat box on Wed. night or Thursday morning as that is when the garbage truck
comes. I usually go to bed around midnight - give or take. You'll notice a
lot of give or takes. Schedules and routines are very hard for me. I'm not
to disciplined in that area. I have a home office so I do some paperwork at
night to make up for newsgrouping during work hours :-) I do my bills at
night.

I get groceries, do errands and laundry, floors, and any deep cleaning on
the weekends. I have the kids do more chores on the weekends that I can't
manage during the week. Things like having the kids make their bed and pick
up their rooms etc. I pick the weekends because I work during the day but I
think I'd pick a day for those big jobs anyway because it is more my style
do do things all at once versus trying to do little bits of them all the
time and never feeling done or like I have any free time. We visit family
on weekends. We go places as a family on weekends when we can (dh works
every other). I get overwhelmed if I don't have a down weekend from time
to time. Not down from chores but down from going places or entertaining
other people. You might consider declaring 2-3 days a month days that you
have no commitments, nothing scheduled or planned, no shopping etc.

I think the key to making daily maintenance more manageable is to
de-clutter, have a place for everything, and keep on top of it. If I spend
5 minutes (and often less!) every day putting away things that do not belong
in the kitchen - it is easy. I can do it on my way to the bathroom. Wait a
month and it is a monumental task and it makes daily clean up more difficult
because I've got tons of junk in the way, plus I feel scattered. Everything
needs a home. Without a home, you can't put it away, and you can't find it
when you need it. If you can't think of a home, most likely it should be
pitched away, lol Same with the living room. The kids have a toy grocery
cart and a toy wheelbarrow for toys. All toys downstairs are put in their
each night and they are emptied back to their rooms on the weekends. I
don't clean the basement or the garage - dh does those - or not ;-) but I
don't bother with them.

I'm sure that having a baby makes it harder and having such an age spread
might be more difficult too. Mine are no longer babies and closer in age to
boot!

--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (5) and Luke (3)

On 4 Jun 2004 08:43:52 -0700, Banty wrote:
Hmmm - sounds like you're getting no help.
What's the sleep schedule for the big baby that sleeps in the master bedroom?

Good question. Gave me a giggle for the day.
Marie