If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
#11
|
|||
|
|||
Is It EVER Okay to Let your Newborn Cry?
We've never let Michael Jude (now 19 weeks) cry and reading your post reminded
me of a similar if not identical post I myself placed here a few days after he was born. We believe our main responsibility right now is to build trust with this fabulous little creature. He's new to this world and we want him to feel as secure as possible. He sleeps with us at night and I have learned and come to love nursing laying down. So does our baby. We sleep tummy to tummy and during the day he's in either a sling, my arms or a swing and basically always around one of us. Once we stopped trying to put him in a bassinet or crib (the first two weeks basically) everything got better. We've igonred all of the meddling relatives and friends who tell us we're spoiling him and he'll never leave our bed. We don't think a baby can be spoiled enough and as a junior high school teacher, I've yet to encounter any kids who still sleep with Mommy and Daddy Hope this helps. lisa |
#12
|
|||
|
|||
Is It EVER Okay to Let your Newborn Cry?
|
#13
|
|||
|
|||
Is It EVER Okay to Let your Newborn Cry?
On Mon, 05 Apr 2004 18:26:22 -0500, Phoebe & Allyson
wrote: Carol Ann wrote: Is it EVER okay to let your newborn cry in her crib? If so, for how long? I vote yes. Better to have a baby cry in her crib while mom gets it together than have a mom who doesn't have it together try to deal with screaming baby on her last nerve. Make sure she's safe, put her down, close the door, move out of earshot, take a couple of deep breaths, wait until you can deal before you go back in. She'll be fine, and hopefully you'll be better. Same applies if you need a shower, or a hot meal, or to pee. IMHO, this is much, much, much different than putting a baby in the crib at bedtime and not going in until the next morning. I agree with this completely. I've left Grace to cry for five or ten minutes while I went into the other room, put in earplugs, and took a drink of water and several deep breaths. I don't like it, and I don't do it often, but she needs a sane Mama first and foremost. I don't do it often, because I don't get to that point often and I really try not to unless I NEED it, and I don't leave her for longer than five minutes or so, both because of all the reasons everyone has given you about babies learning to give up and simply because I can't stand it for longer than that, and creep in to see what's up with her. A few times she's calmed down and is lying cheerfully gazing at her mobile, though she's never put herself to sleep that way. Most of the time she's still wailing, and is so happy when I pick her up that she stops then. Naomi mama to Grace 2/23/04 |
#14
|
|||
|
|||
Is It EVER Okay to Let your Newborn Cry?
Carol Ann wrote:
I just can't get Morgan to sleep without me holding her or having her suck on my breast constantly. I am really going crazy. Is it EVER okay to let your newborn cry in her crib? If so, for how long? This stage really sucks. When we got desperate, DH would strap Ella into the sling, tuck her in his big jumper and go for a 30 minute walk. I would recover in a silent house. More often than not, by the time he got back, she would be asleep. HTH, ROSIE Mum to Ella, 18 months |
#15
|
|||
|
|||
Is It EVER Okay to Let your Newborn Cry?
"Carol Ann" wrote in message news:WEkcc.196392$po.1013392@attbi_s52...
I just can't get Morgan to sleep without me holding her or having her suck on my breast constantly. I am really going crazy. Is it EVER okay to let your newborn cry in her crib? If so, for how long? ~Carol Ann I'd never make it a policy to let a newborn cry. They're just too little and new. They must be allowed to rule. ; ) I'm sure you feel that instinctively -- a newborn's cry is like an *order* that you are compelled to obey. The newborn period is crazy-making for many of us. It passes, perhaps not soon enough, but it does. Get as much help as you can and then proceed to cope as best you can. Give up on getting much done. If you can get her to sleep in *any* way and then she lets you put her down in a crib or bassinet or on a bed, that's success. Go do something before she wakes back up. If she is the type (as so many are) to wake back up when your warm body leaves, then try using a sling or other carrier. I discovered CNN when I had my first, and then I rediscovered it twice with each subsequent newborn. I also look back with fondness at the time I was able to spend reading when I had a newborn. In other words, I am not naturally a "sitter," but I gave up and found stuff to do *while* sitting with a newborn. Now that my youngest is a toddler, sitting is out the window. So, try to enjoy it . . .? That said, as some others have noted, it is certainly OK for a newborn to cry sometimes because you're getting something done and/or need to, really need to, put her down and walk away. But try to find longer term ways to cope, and even enjoy, your new predicament. Good luck! |
#16
|
|||
|
|||
Is It EVER Okay to Let your Newborn Cry?
there were actually days when the baby was on my boob for 19 hours!
Now he's mostly on it at night and about every three hours during the day except for naps times. I'm so happy I stuck with the nursing and the Family Bed...Much more restful. lisa |
#17
|
|||
|
|||
Is It EVER Okay to Let your Newborn Cry?
|
#18
|
|||
|
|||
Is It EVER Okay to Let your Newborn Cry?
I didn't start letting DD cry until she was around 4.5 - 5 months old. We
had a hard time too, just stick it out, things will get better! "Carol Ann" wrote in message news:WEkcc.196392$po.1013392@attbi_s52... I just can't get Morgan to sleep without me holding her or having her suck on my breast constantly. I am really going crazy. Is it EVER okay to let your newborn cry in her crib? If so, for how long? ~Carol Ann |
#19
|
|||
|
|||
Is It EVER Okay to Let your Newborn Cry?
"Carol Ann" wrote in message news:WEkcc.196392$po.1013392@attbi_s52...
I just can't get Morgan to sleep without me holding her or having her suck on my breast constantly. I am really going crazy. Is it EVER okay to let your newborn cry in her crib? If so, for how long? ~Carol Ann Depending on how crazy "crazy" is, then yes. If you're absolutely at the end of your tether then the safest place for her is in the crib until you've collected yourself back together. People have made the points about trust and newborns' needs, but at the same time children aren't so fragile that a few moments of not getting what they want (even at this age) will scar them forever. If you're reaching this point daily or more than daily you need to figure out ways of meeting both your needs that are more sustainable. But if it's every once in a while you won't undo all your other parenting efforts by letting her holler for a few minutes and meeting your own needs first. Kate and the Bug, 10 months |
#20
|
|||
|
|||
Is It EVER Okay to Let your Newborn Cry?
IMO and IME, yes it is sometimes okay to put the baby down and let them cry
for a little bit. I suspect the ones who are adamant about never letting the baby cry never had a colicky baby. My oldest was a colicky baby and would cry every night for 4-5 hours straight. I am not exaggerating one little bit. No matter what I did; held her, rocked her, fed her, changed her diaper many times, rode the dryer, and many other techniques I tried to stop her from crying helped in the least little bit. After a many hours of this, some nights I just had to put her down after I made sure that she was alright and let her cry in her crib for just a little bit. I would go outside and collect myself, get a drink of water, go to the bathroom and take some deep breaths and then I could go back and handle it some more. There are also some babies who get all touched out from all the holding and rocking and so on. I found there were some times when my daughter was all held out and overstimulated that she was more comforted by just laying on her own. This is so much different than letting your baby CIO. They are not going to feel abandoned if you just need a few minutes to collect yourself. And to make you feel a little bit better, my colicky baby that cried every night for 4-5 hours straight and was left on very few occasions to cry is an 11-year-old girl now. She is extremely happy, very outgoing, loves and trusts her family immensely and is a smart girl and has many friends. I can't see where a few minutes of crying on her own has had any detrimental effect on her at all. If it is some relief that you need, go ahead and get it. If you are trying to get your newborn on a schedule right now and wanting her to CIO so she will go to sleep, then no it's not a good idea at this point. She does need you, but she also needs a mom that can cope. Can someone else take her for awhile so you can recharge? Hang in there Carol, it can be hard at this point. ((((Hugs))) -- Sue (mom to three girls) I'm Just a Raggedy Ann in a Barbie Doll World... Carol Ann wrote in message news:WEkcc.196392$po.1013392@attbi_s52... I just can't get Morgan to sleep without me holding her or having her suck on my breast constantly. I am really going crazy. Is it EVER okay to let your newborn cry in her crib? If so, for how long? ~Carol Ann |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Chiro care of baby penises (also: Dr. Poland never sued Dr. Gastaldo) | Todd Gastaldo | Pregnancy | 6 | April 7th 04 04:58 PM |
Newborn clothing- or one size up? | Jill | Pregnancy | 35 | January 7th 04 07:22 AM |
Newborn twins with colic - please help! | Elissa | General | 8 | November 24th 03 02:27 PM |
Newborn feeding schedule | Parker T. | General (moderated) | 10 | October 18th 03 04:43 PM |
Introducing your dog to your newborn. | The Huwe Family | Pregnancy | 2 | August 12th 03 02:39 AM |