items to cover in parenting plan?

I'm wondering if anyone can give me ideas as to items that are
generally covered in a parenting plan. Our DD is 4yo.

So far I've got:
(1) a decently outlined schedule for day-to-day (with provisions for
normal deviations - sick, work, etc.) and for holiday split,
(2) 50/50 split of out-of-pocket medical over $150.00,
(3) both provide health insurance unless private purchase is required
(unless both of us don't have work-related access to it and then of
course one of us will have to provide it if at all possible),
(4) minimum of quarterly scheduled meeting of parents (bio and step)
to keep communication lines open with a plan for calling an
'emergency' meeting,
(5) everyone is invited and welcome at holiday programs,
extracurricular activities, etc.,
(6) mediation before attorneys in case of disagreement,
(7) ... ??? ... ???

It seems (and I know) there is so much that should be covered, but I
am at a loss in coming up with a list that feels anywhere near
complete.

Any assistance is greatly appreciated!!
Paula

"Paula" wrote

I'm wondering if anyone can give me ideas as to items that are
generally covered in a parenting plan. Our DD is 4yo.

So far I've got:
(1) a decently outlined schedule for day-to-day (with provisions for
normal deviations - sick, work, etc.) and for holiday split,
(2) 50/50 split of out-of-pocket medical over $150.00,
(3) both provide health insurance unless private purchase is required
(unless both of us don't have work-related access to it and then of
course one of us will have to provide it if at all possible),
(4) minimum of quarterly scheduled meeting of parents (bio and step)
to keep communication lines open with a plan for calling an
'emergency' meeting,
(5) everyone is invited and welcome at holiday programs,
extracurricular activities, etc.,
(6) mediation before attorneys in case of disagreement,
(7) ... ??? ... ???

It seems (and I know) there is so much that should be covered, but I
am at a loss in coming up with a list that feels anywhere near
complete.

Any assistance is greatly appreciated!!
==
Wow! Adults acting like adults--Don't see that much around here.
My ex and I had no custody/child support orders when we split because
neither of us felt
we wanted the government micromanaging our kids. I remarried and he had a
live-in. The
most significant thing that maintained our relationships is that the
step/live-ins didn't discipline
our kids. My ex and I continued to do that just as before. This was not
always easy during the teen
years but we were commited to it. We also didn't sweat the small stuff
that others seem to blow out of proportion. Last minute plans were always
accomodated when possible.
None of us were afraid to go out of our way to maintain peace. We had a
primary interest in not screwing up
our kids' childhood. We simply refused to allow that to happen no matter the
issues between the parents.
We were all greeted warmly in the other's home and the subsequent children
were respected as siblings and were
also greeted warmly in the other's home. My DH never complained about the
extra financial burdon he carried
and never spoke negatively of my boys' dad. In fact, none of us ever spoke
negatively of the other adults. The kids'
childhood goes by very quickly--It just doesn't make sense to make it
miserable for anyone. Good luck with your plan.
You will all be great role models for your kids/grandkids.

On Mar 3, 9:37�am, Paula wrote:
I'm wondering if anyone can give me ideas as to items that are
generally covered in a parenting plan. *Our DD is 4yo.

So far I've got:
(1) a decently outlined schedule for day-to-day (with provisions for
normal deviations - sick, work, etc.) and for holiday split,
(2) 50/50 split of out-of-pocket medical over $150.00,
(3) both provide health insurance unless private purchase is required
(unless both of us don't have work-related access to it and then of
course one of us will have to provide it if at all possible),
(4) minimum of quarterly scheduled meeting of parents (bio and step)
to keep communication lines open with a plan for calling an
'emergency' meeting,
(5) everyone is invited and welcome at holiday programs,
extracurricular activities, etc.,
(6) mediation before attorneys in case of disagreement,
(7) ... ??? ... ???

It seems (and I know) there is so much that should be covered, but I
am at a loss in coming up with a list that feels anywhere near
complete.

Any assistance is greatly appreciated!!
Paula

Religious stuff, school stuff, also, if somehow, someway, whatever,
both of you die, who gets the kids..

It's a great attitude you and your ex have Paula and it's going to do
wonders for your kids future development...good going..

Gini wrote:
"Paula" wrote

(3) both provide health insurance unless private purchase is required
(unless both of us don't have work-related access to it and then of
course one of us will have to provide it if at all possible),

This seems like a waste of money unless you are both already paying for
full family coverage. And even if that's the case, it seems like an
invitation for headaches; your medical providers are not going to want
to have to be dealing with going back and forth between two different
insurers for your accounts, and insurance companies are notorious for
trying to get out of paying anything at all when there's a coinsurance
situation. Why not just have one party carry the insurance and the other
party reimburse for half the increase in premiums, if any?


(7) ... ??? ... ???

If you're going to go into this level of detail, it might also be good
to specify how things like extracurricular activities will be paid for.
It seems like a common bone of contention where one parent feels the
other parent should pay for half of Petunia's dance lessons, and the
other parent doesn't want to pay because it wasn't their idea to sign
Petunia up for dance lessons. This is multiplied tenfold when Petunia is
14 and one parent decides she is talented enough to attend the
$20,000/year High School Academy of the Performing Arts and the other
parent thinks its just fine to attend the public school.

On Sat, 03 Mar 2007 09:37:13 -0600, Paula
wrote:


I'm wondering if anyone can give me ideas as to items that are
generally covered in a parenting plan. Our DD is 4yo.

So far I've got:
(1) a decently outlined schedule for day-to-day (with provisions for
normal deviations - sick, work, etc.) and for holiday split,
(2) 50/50 split of out-of-pocket medical over $150.00,
(3) both provide health insurance unless private purchase is required
(unless both of us don't have work-related access to it and then of
course one of us will have to provide it if at all possible),
(4) minimum of quarterly scheduled meeting of parents (bio and step)
to keep communication lines open with a plan for calling an
'emergency' meeting,
(5) everyone is invited and welcome at holiday programs,
extracurricular activities, etc.,
(6) mediation before attorneys in case of disagreement,
(7) ... ??? ... ???

It seems (and I know) there is so much that should be covered, but I
am at a loss in coming up with a list that feels anywhere near
complete.

Any assistance is greatly appreciated!!
Paula

You will want to address how to split the income tax dependency. Bear
in mind that medical expenses (item 2 above) cannot be deducted on
your return or legally reimbursed from a cafeteria plan without tax
consequences if the child is not your dependent on your federal
return.
Beverly

.. My DH never complained about the
extra financial burdon he carried

Just curious... why was It He who had the extra financial burdon?

DrLith wrote:

Gini wrote:

"Paula" wrote


(3) both provide health insurance unless private purchase is required
(unless both of us don't have work-related access to it and then of
course one of us will have to provide it if at all possible),


This seems like a waste of money unless you are both already paying for
full family coverage. And even if that's the case, it seems like an
invitation for headaches; your medical providers are not going to want
to have to be dealing with going back and forth between two different
insurers for your accounts, and insurance companies are notorious for
trying to get out of paying anything at all when there's a coinsurance
situation. Why not just have one party carry the insurance and the other
party reimburse for half the increase in premiums, if any?

If there is duplicate insurance, the party whose birthday comes first in
the calendar year is the #1 insurance.




(7) ... ??? ... ???


If you're going to go into this level of detail, it might also be good
to specify how things like extracurricular activities will be paid for.
It seems like a common bone of contention where one parent feels the
other parent should pay for half of Petunia's dance lessons, and the
other parent doesn't want to pay because it wasn't their idea to sign
Petunia up for dance lessons. This is multiplied tenfold when Petunia is
14 and one parent decides she is talented enough to attend the
$20,000/year High School Academy of the Performing Arts and the other
parent thinks its just fine to attend the public school.

Paula wrote:

I'm wondering if anyone can give me ideas as to items that are
generally covered in a parenting plan. Our DD is 4yo.

So far I've got:
(1) a decently outlined schedule for day-to-day (with provisions for
normal deviations - sick, work, etc.) and for holiday split,
(2) 50/50 split of out-of-pocket medical over $150.00,
(3) both provide health insurance unless private purchase is required
(unless both of us don't have work-related access to it and then of
course one of us will have to provide it if at all possible),
(4) minimum of quarterly scheduled meeting of parents (bio and step)
to keep communication lines open with a plan for calling an
'emergency' meeting,

No reason for any steps to be involved.

(5) everyone is invited and welcome at holiday programs,
extracurricular activities, etc.,
(6) mediation before attorneys in case of disagreement,

dump the attorneys, get a mutually selected phychologist to mediate.

(7) ... ??? ... ???

It seems (and I know) there is so much that should be covered, but I
am at a loss in coming up with a list that feels anywhere near
complete.

Any assistance is greatly appreciated!!
Paula

"Relayer" wrote in message
ups.com...
On Mar 3, 9:37?am, Paula wrote:
I'm wondering if anyone can give me ideas as to items that are
generally covered in a parenting plan. Our DD is 4yo.

So far I've got:
(1) a decently outlined schedule for day-to-day (with provisions for
normal deviations - sick, work, etc.) and for holiday split,
(2) 50/50 split of out-of-pocket medical over $150.00,
(3) both provide health insurance unless private purchase is required
(unless both of us don't have work-related access to it and then of
course one of us will have to provide it if at all possible),
(4) minimum of quarterly scheduled meeting of parents (bio and step)
to keep communication lines open with a plan for calling an
'emergency' meeting,
(5) everyone is invited and welcome at holiday programs,
extracurricular activities, etc.,
(6) mediation before attorneys in case of disagreement,
(7) ... ??? ... ???

It seems (and I know) there is so much that should be covered, but I
am at a loss in coming up with a list that feels anywhere near
complete.

Any assistance is greatly appreciated!!
Paula

Religious stuff, school stuff, also, if somehow, someway, whatever,
both of you die, who gets the kids..

Also, a lot of people include some kind of "move away" clause - how to
handle it if one party wants to move more than X miles away. Some people
have handled by saying "if you move farther away than this amount, you
become responsible for transportation to and from the other parent". You
may want a clause that specifies that any move outside the school district
requires the consent of both parents, or something of the sort.

"Paula" wrote in message
...

I'm wondering if anyone can give me ideas as to items that are
generally covered in a parenting plan. Our DD is 4yo.

So far I've got:
(1) a decently outlined schedule for day-to-day (with provisions for
normal deviations - sick, work, etc.) and for holiday split,
(2) 50/50 split of out-of-pocket medical over $150.00,
(3) both provide health insurance unless private purchase is required
(unless both of us don't have work-related access to it and then of
course one of us will have to provide it if at all possible),
(4) minimum of quarterly scheduled meeting of parents (bio and step)
to keep communication lines open with a plan for calling an
'emergency' meeting,
(5) everyone is invited and welcome at holiday programs,
extracurricular activities, etc.,
(6) mediation before attorneys in case of disagreement,
(7) ... ??? ... ???

It seems (and I know) there is so much that should be covered, but I
am at a loss in coming up with a list that feels anywhere near
complete.

Any assistance is greatly appreciated!!

Here is a link to a suggested format for a Parenting Plan in Oregon. You
might want to check your state's CS administration site for what your state
law says about how these plans are approved and implemented.

http://www.ojd.state.or.us/osca/cpsd...w/documents/Pa
cketParentingPlanVer03_6-07-06.pdf