Question for religious parents

On Tue, 21 Feb 2006 04:02:26 GMT, dragonlady
wrote:

In article .com,
wrote:

I remember that. I think most of it was the parents' doing. They
encouraged it, but only of their sons. The girl was not allowed to do it
because it was the boys' job. Their DD just stood behind the boys and
handed out leaflets. They had the poor kids on the talk shows, using
.language I doubt most kids understood.

Seriously? Geeze, that girl is going to have issues left and right for
the rest of her life.


As will her brothers.

Anyone from the south carolina coastal area or maybe even savannah may
remember the big hullaballo about ten to fifteen years ago in the
resort town of Beaufort (SC not north). They had truly unbelievable
man stand at on the streetcorner of the old town on sundays and hurl
words at the tourists and Sunday afternoon walkers. He included a
couple of his kids. There was a court case, I dont know how it was
resolved

On 21 Feb 2006 04:57:23 -0800, "hedgehog42"

Thank you, you have put this very well.

wrote:
No, of course not. How else do we get to make converts? :-)

I assume by your smiley that you are mostly teasing right? Because that
is another thing I worry about, not just for my daughter but for
myself. I just want to live my life, I don't want religious pressures
from anyone at all.

I don't want to take your words out of context but, comments like these
make a lot of atheists angry because it's almost a threat that
translates into "we'll get you yet"...I dunno.

Well, depending on how you define "religious pressures," you may want
to consider whether you and your daughter should be open to friendships
with folks of any religious bent.

The high school youth group from my church take an annual service trip
to Appalachia to help repair houses during spring break. They often
invite friends to accompany them. There is no dissection of the guests'
beliefs, no urging anyone to "give your life to Jesus," no "friendly
reminder" about now the time to choose between eternal salvation and
eternal damnation. There are brief prayers as a group before meals, and
my guess is that they play Christian rock in the van on the way down
(my daughter didn't go; my sons aren't yet old enough).

A friend whom I believe may be athiest (we've not discussed this, over
the 12 years I've known her) told me last summer that her daughter had
accompanied the group the previous year. My friend had nothing but
good things to say about her daughter's experience. Her daughter has
since not joined, nor has anyone pressured the family to attend.
Similarly, my kids might invite your kids for jr. high youth group not
to "save their souls" but to play games and eat pizza.

And if we became good friends, I might mention over a potluck dinner
that I'd got the recipe out of our church cookbook; or, if you ask
about good nursery schools or day cares in the area, respond with the
names of those our church operates; or, if I got indications that you
were looking for a way to establish more connections in the community,
invite you (once!) to come with us to a service. I don't consider that
pressure any more than I considered it pressure to ask other moms of
toddlers to our playgroup. I have felt in-your-fact, high-pressured
tactics in some faith communities that I disliked, as many people have,
and so our church deliberately keep things low key. But perhaps those
who regard any mention of religion as "pressure" wouldn't want to know
my family or me -- it is part of who we are.

Lori G.
Milwaukee

Lori

Those are all things I have no problem with. And invitation to a church
function, a recipe out of a church cook book, a multi religious service
project. Those things are all fine. My issue would just be at the point
where someone started to tell me about the direction my everlasting
soul is bound. I have a live and let live hippy attitude about life for
the most part. Religious people can do thier thing, I can do my thing,
gays can marry, all that...I draw the line at someone trying to convert
me. It's condecensing, as if I haven't put thought, ENORMOUS thought
into my choices.

On Tue, 21 Feb 2006 03:59:55 GMT, "toypup"
wrote:

I live in a religious area. I kid you not. Within a two block area near my
house, there are five churches. If I drive from here to the freeway, there
are even more.

Evanston, IL where my kids grew up has churches all over the town,
but that doesn't mean that everyone in the town is religious.


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits

Evanston, IL where my kids grew up has churches all over the town,
but that doesn't mean that everyone in the town is religious.

(I typed this once before but something weird happened, sorry if a
similar message shows up.)

I don't think she was saying everyone was religious, just the
overwhelming majority is. Churches are supply and demand as are
businesses.

wrote:
Barbara, no one called you a "liar", we are just saying your
experiences are the exception to the rule, that's all. It might be
where you live that makes the difference.

Well, when I describe an experience and someone says that doesn't
happen, they're calling me a liar. I certainly don't discount the
possibility that there are more issues relating to religious
prostelytizing in other areas of the country (and certainly the world)
than where I live. At the same time, please don't dismiss the notion
that I get harrassed for being religious.

But I give up here. I'm trying to provide some information you
requested, but I have the feeling that few want to hear it.

I do have a couple of questions for you, since you're the OP. Would
you welcome your child's friendship with the children of religious
people? Would you feel put off by the other child's casual mention of
things that are important in his or her life, such as attending
religious school, religious services, or celebrating religious holidays
at home? Would you be upset by another child's curiousity (eg, many
years ago, when we were less observant, One had a haircut on Saturday.
A religious friend of his asked how his hair could possibly have gotten
shorter, since we all KNOW that you can't have a haircut on Shabbat)?
Would you be upset if another child asked your child why s/he doesn't
attend religious services, or celebrate certain holidays as a matter of
curiousity, rather than in a confrontational manner?

Barbara

On 21 Feb 2006 12:13:32 -0800, wrote:

I don't think she was saying everyone was religious, just the
overwhelming majority is. Churches are supply and demand as are
businesses.

Church attendence even where there are lots of churches as in
Evanston is still going down. We had one church recently that
ended up consolidating its congregation with another church of
the same denomination which was down the block. The Church
itself has been sold.


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits

Would you welcome your child's friendship with the children of religious
people?

Absolutely as I've stated before.

Would you feel put off by the other child's casual mention of
things that are important in his or her life, such as attending
religious school, religious services, or celebrating religious holidays
at home?

Absolutely not, as I've also stated before.

Would you be upset by another child's curiousity (eg, many
years ago, when we were less observant, One had a haircut on Saturday.
A religious friend of his asked how his hair could possibly have gotten
shorter, since we all KNOW that you can't have a haircut on Shabbat)?

Nope, curiousity is one of the best things about children.


Would you be upset if another child asked your child why s/he doesn't
attend religious services, or celebrate certain holidays as a matter of
curiousity, rather than in a confrontational manner?

Nope, diversity is the spice of life. I firmly believe that religion
has done a lot of positive things for the world and we all can learn
from each other.

Barbara, you do seem to be a tad sensitive about this topic. Maybe you
have had some rough experiences, and that's too bad. I certainly wish
that people could all just live and let live. But don't get so
defensive that it prevents you from having an interesting conversation.
You took several things out of context, no on here has tried to offend
you dilerberatly.

In article , toto says...

On 21 Feb 2006 12:13:32 -0800, wrote:

I don't think she was saying everyone was religious, just the
overwhelming majority is. Churches are supply and demand as are
businesses.

Church attendence even where there are lots of churches as in
Evanston is still going down. We had one church recently that
ended up consolidating its congregation with another church of
the same denomination which was down the block. The Church
itself has been sold.

Church attendance doesn't even equate to particularly religious. Many people go
for the fellowship; others go because it's part of being in the community where
they grew up (I think many Catholics are in like this).

Banty

hedgehog42 wrote:

The high school youth group from my church take an annual service trip
to Appalachia to help repair houses during spring break. They often
invite friends to accompany them. There is no dissection of the guests'
beliefs, no urging anyone to "give your life to Jesus," no "friendly
reminder" about now the time to choose between eternal salvation and
eternal damnation. There are brief prayers as a group before meals, and
my guess is that they play Christian rock in the van on the way down
(my daughter didn't go; my sons aren't yet old enough).

A friend whom I believe may be athiest (we've not discussed this, over
the 12 years I've known her) told me last summer that her daughter had
accompanied the group the previous year. My friend had nothing but
good things to say about her daughter's experience. Her daughter has
since not joined, nor has anyone pressured the family to attend.
Similarly, my kids might invite your kids for jr. high youth group not
to "save their souls" but to play games and eat pizza.

Just out of curiosity, are children invited on the trips or to the
youth group if they already self-identify with belonging to a religion
that isn't yours? (Say, Hindi, or Zostrarian). The reason I ask is that
my SIL's church was very service-oriented (great thing), and also
heavily inclined to 'reach out' to children and young adults who could
be interested in learning more about SIL's church/religion.

The thing that she truly believed was that if someone was an atheist
(or not religious) it was reasonable to invite them, whereas if someone
was a practicing Muslim/Catholic/Name Your Established Religion, it
wasn't reasonable to invite them, especially since some of their
'activities' (e.g., their prayers at the meeting opening and closing)
would contradict Another's religious beliefs.

Caledonia