Worried Mom

Not in Rhonda's case, see chooses to remain blind to what she is doing to
her kids by her own lifestyle choices.

"Paul Griffiths" wrote in message
...
"Paul Fritz" wrote in message
...

Just keep wearing those blinders.......it will get you so far in life.

The more I think about it, the more I think they should be issued at
birth.
Ah well.


--
Paul Griffiths

That bad boy reminds me of a loser boyfriend I made the mistake of
dating in high school. Your son's friend might be connecting your son up
with some girls. If so, he will lie to hide he is still hanging out with
him. Sixteen is the age when girls consume boys. Ask your son about it
because getting protection is another problem you might have to worry
about. Troubled girls are the type who might carry it. You'll have to
figure out a way to make not being with those troubled kids as much fun
as with being with them. Kids go where they have fun. Dangerous or not.
Until he has something better to do expect him to lie to you.


Rhonda wrote:

I'm sitting here on a Saturday night, worried about my almost 16 year
old son. Maybe it's because I've had a worst nightmare come true when
my mother was killed in a car accident that I worry a lot.

I'm the type of mom who makes my kids feel comfortable about having
friends come over to our house. If they show up with friends after
school or on the weekend, they always know that I'll be okay with
that. I like to know who they're hanging out with and I feel good
knowing that they're safe. If they aren't home, they know that I need
to know where they are, who they're with and approximately what time
they'll be home. They also know what I consider reasonable regarding
hometime.

There's only one thing I don't accept. My older son used to have a
group of friends that were just troubled kids. It got to the point
where I made it clear that I didn't want them around the house and I
didn't want him hanging around with them. I won't go into some of the
things they did or were into but whatever it was was totally
unacceptable.

Anyway, my son has continued communicating with one of the group on
MSN but he knows how I feel about this boy and he knows that I don't
want him getting together with him. This kid smokes (more than
cigarettes as far as I know), drinks, lies and talks in a crude
manner.

There's one thing that I always felt confident about until today. I
always believed that both of my sons were honest with me. But, today,
my older son lied to me and told me that he was going out with a
certain friend and it turns out he's with this kid I disapprove of.
He felt that lying would be better than telling me the truth. I went
out for about an hour. Before I left, I asked him what his plans were
for the day...I asked him if he was planning on just staying home and
he said he was. I came back and he was out and he left me a message
telling me that he'd be with a different friend. Later on, I called
that friend and he told me that he wasn't with him all day. Now, it's
going on 10 pm and he's not home and I know he's with that boy. I
found out. So, here I sit....worrying. I just want him to come home.
I'd rather know the truth even if I don't like it, than be lied to.

But there isn't any greater pleasure than sex for a 16 year boy but more
of it. I dated as many as three boys at a time just because I was
pretty. I learned at an early age nothing controls young men more than
lust. They cause their own problems.

nancy wrote:

That bad boy reminds me of a loser boyfriend I made the mistake of
dating in high school. Your son's friend might be connecting your son up
with some girls. If so, he will lie to hide he is still hanging out with
him. Sixteen is the age when girls consume boys. Ask your son about it
because getting protection is another problem you might have to worry
about. Troubled girls are the type who might carry it. You'll have to
figure out a way to make not being with those troubled kids as much fun
as with being with them. Kids go where they have fun. Dangerous or not.
Until he has something better to do expect him to lie to you.

Rhonda wrote:

I'm sitting here on a Saturday night, worried about my almost 16 year
old son. Maybe it's because I've had a worst nightmare come true when
my mother was killed in a car accident that I worry a lot.

I'm the type of mom who makes my kids feel comfortable about having
friends come over to our house. If they show up with friends after
school or on the weekend, they always know that I'll be okay with
that. I like to know who they're hanging out with and I feel good
knowing that they're safe. If they aren't home, they know that I need
to know where they are, who they're with and approximately what time
they'll be home. They also know what I consider reasonable regarding
hometime.

There's only one thing I don't accept. My older son used to have a
group of friends that were just troubled kids. It got to the point
where I made it clear that I didn't want them around the house and I
didn't want him hanging around with them. I won't go into some of the
things they did or were into but whatever it was was totally
unacceptable.

Anyway, my son has continued communicating with one of the group on
MSN but he knows how I feel about this boy and he knows that I don't
want him getting together with him. This kid smokes (more than
cigarettes as far as I know), drinks, lies and talks in a crude
manner.

There's one thing that I always felt confident about until today. I
always believed that both of my sons were honest with me. But, today,
my older son lied to me and told me that he was going out with a
certain friend and it turns out he's with this kid I disapprove of.
He felt that lying would be better than telling me the truth. I went
out for about an hour. Before I left, I asked him what his plans were
for the day...I asked him if he was planning on just staying home and
he said he was. I came back and he was out and he left me a message
telling me that he'd be with a different friend. Later on, I called
that friend and he told me that he wasn't with him all day. Now, it's
going on 10 pm and he's not home and I know he's with that boy. I
found out. So, here I sit....worrying. I just want him to come home.
I'd rather know the truth even if I don't like it, than be lied to.

Rhonda wrote in message

All in all, I believe he's sensible and responsible but I'm
just being a mother and having teenage growing pains a little.


Yeah, it can be difficult to come to terms with little ones becoming adults.
Needs a broader outlook and lots of two way communication. You have to
listen and take on board what he is saying.

Dennis

"Dennis Here" youreply wrote in message ...
Rhonda wrote in message

All in all, I believe he's sensible and responsible but I'm
just being a mother and having teenage growing pains a little.


Yeah, it can be difficult to come to terms with little ones becoming adults.
Needs a broader outlook and lots of two way communication. You have to
listen and take on board what he is saying.

Dennis

Thanks for thoughtful advice, Dennis. I think I learned something
that day. There are just certain things that don't work...and my
attempt at stopping my son from hanging around with that guy was one
of them.

Open communication in a non-threatening way is the best bet. My son
was surprised that I wasn't angrier with him than I was.....but I
realize that anger won't stop him, it will just encourage him to do
things behind my back.

He knows how I feel and I've expressed to him that I can't be behind
him to watch his every move. I really do believe deep down that he's
pretty sensible and I hope it stays that way.

Of course he wants to experience sex, however. He's 16 with raging
male hormones. I believe he'd pursue it if the opportunity presented
itself. So, I hope that he doesn't run into any permissive girls in
the near future. A couple of years ago, he and a friend went into
the convenience store and bought a package of condoms as a joke....I
guess that means he wouldn't be embarrassed to buy them again if need
be. There are certain things he just won't talk to me about...but,
nevertheless, when I get the opportunity, I bring up the subject in a
non-threatening way. I also know that his doctor asks him personal
questions to keep things in check. I do my best to stay aware of
what's going on and to remain approachable.

Dennis, thanks for being there. It feels good to know that not
everyone is calling me names. I really do appreciate it and I wanted
to let you know.

Rhonda

"kim" wrote in message ...

But there isn't any greater pleasure than sex for a 16 year boy but more
of it.

I'd say that depends a great deal on the individual boy.

I dated as many as three boys at a time just because I was pretty.

???

I learned at an early age nothing controls young men more than lust.

Oh yes?

They cause their own problems.

Well this bit I agree with, so far as it goes.


--
Paul Griffiths

"kim" wrote in message ...
But there isn't any greater pleasure than sex for a 16 year boy but more
of it. I dated as many as three boys at a time just because I was
pretty. I learned at an early age nothing controls young men more than
lust. They cause their own problems.


I guess that is because you hung out with boys as shallow as yourself

Paul Fritz wrote:

"kim" wrote in message ...
But there isn't any greater pleasure than sex for a 16 year boy but more
of it. I dated as many as three boys at a time just because I was
pretty. I learned at an early age nothing controls young men more than
lust. They cause their own problems.


I guess that is because you hung out with boys as shallow as yourself


Give her a break will you? I didn't know anyone at that age who didn't
like to party. You never made a fool of yourself over a girl Paul?

"dorisP" wrote in message
...
Paul Fritz wrote:

"kim" wrote in message
...
But there isn't any greater pleasure than sex for a 16 year boy but
more
of it. I dated as many as three boys at a time just because I was
pretty. I learned at an early age nothing controls young men more than
lust. They cause their own problems.


I guess that is because you hung out with boys as shallow as yourself


Give her a break will you? I didn't know anyone at that age who didn't
like to party. You never made a fool of yourself over a girl Paul?

She obviously had not learned from "making a fool of herself" if she is
still painting all 16 Y.O with such a broad brush.

BTW, no, didn't even bother to date in H.S. I was focused on saving money
and getting grades for college. I wasn't the only one either.

Paul, "BTW, no, didn't even bother to date in H.S. I was focused on
saving money
and getting grades for college. I wasn't the only one either."

You sound all ego to me. Chances are no girls wanted to date you.
'Didn't bother to date in HS' conveys you were somehow above the hormone
urges almost all boys suffer from at 16. I dated the smarter boys in my
class. All had decent grades and all loved making out. She never painted
all 16 Y.O. with the same brush. You may of studied a lot, and might be
book smart, but your intuition of what people are trying to tell you is
missing. And you're not nice, your attitude shows it. A tiny mistake and
you jump on it like a jackal. Were you so above it all Paul? Or did you
reject those who were rejecting you?


Paul Fritz wrote:

"dorisP" wrote in message
...
Paul Fritz wrote:

"kim" wrote in message
...
But there isn't any greater pleasure than sex for a 16 year boy but
more
of it. I dated as many as three boys at a time just because I was
pretty. I learned at an early age nothing controls young men more than
lust. They cause their own problems.


I guess that is because you hung out with boys as shallow as yourself


Give her a break will you? I didn't know anyone at that age who didn't
like to party. You never made a fool of yourself over a girl Paul?

She obviously had not learned from "making a fool of herself" if she is
still painting all 16 Y.O with such a broad brush.

BTW, no, didn't even bother to date in H.S. I was focused on saving money
and getting grades for college. I wasn't the only one either.