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John`s temper 14 yr old boy
Sorry about not giving details on John. My name is Becka. I am
leaglly blinde. I found your group in hopes someone can give me advice on how to handle John. John has alway had a bad temper. I was always able to keep in check. When John had one of is temper attacks I call them I would say in a soft tone John you need to go to your quite space and I need to go into mine. I also have a horrriable temper. The whole family does. We have all learned to conrol it. When John feels that can control his temper he would come to me and we would talk what made you mad, how can we work together so it will not happened. John and I do alot of talking, Now he is almost 15 and I can not keep him in check. We have rules in this house. We make sure we stick these rules. But John feels he does not have to go by the rules at the house and at school. Yesterday when I wrote just got off the phone with the school John was in a fight and suspendd this is not the frist time. Last week was just horriable the boys (3) were on spring break. Like I said we have rules. I do not care how long you stay up but you have to be up and dress before 11am. I told the boys I am not having them sleep all day because they was up all night. Back to Spring break I woke the boys up.The 2 olsest woke up fine but John was in one of his moods. When John is in one of his moods Husband and I work together. We tell him in a kind voice Hey John Boy time to get up. We do that 3 times them we go just a little more hey John Boy time to get up and take his blakets off and put them on the floor. It take about 30 to 45 mins but he up. Spring break I did not have anyone so I did everything on my own like I was taught. And it totally backed fired in my face. He was so mean and hateful. he grabbed his older brothers swords that his bother collects off the wall and started to threaten me. It scare the older boys but they are scare of John. I took the sword but I did not know that is a 3 piece set. Next 2 days this waking up him up was getting worst to the point I did not know what to do So I called my Paster from church to help me. She took John for a few hours.I called his Bio. Father and told I can not handle John anymore So I think the best thing for everyone in this house is to send him back to his father. But until then what do I do? Everyone feels like they are walking on eggshells. I hate feeling this way. My husband and I all together have 7 children. I have to think about the other children also and I know in a few weeks or month John will hit me. Thank you for listening Becka |
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John`s temper 14 yr old boy
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John`s temper 14 yr old boy
wrote in message ups.com... When John had one of is temper attacks I call them I would say in a soft tone John you need to go to your quite space and I need to go into mine. I also have a horrriable temper. The whole family does. We have all learned to conrol it. I'm assuming that while you have learned to control it some, there are probably still outbursts? I'm not trying to be accusatory, only noting that it's nearly impossible for people to change their basic nature, and if you are feeling very stressed, then it would be completely understandable if you were to lose your temper now and again. Last week was just horriable the boys (3) were on spring break. Like I said we have rules. I do not care how long you stay up but you have to be up and dress before 11am. I told the boys I am not having them sleep all day because they was up all night. Back to Spring break I woke the boys up.The 2 olsest woke up fine but John was in one of his moods. Okay, so this worked for the other boys, but not for John. Do you see though, how you set him up for failure? Being given license to stay up all night, he probably did. And each day, he got progressively more behind on sleep. By the third day, his brain probably wasn't even functioning properly. It's your right to have a set wake-up time even on break, but it sounds like he needs some guidance as to what that translates to for a bedtime. and I work together. We tell him in a kind voice Hey John Boy time to get up. We do that 3 times them we go just a little more hey John Boy time to get up and take his blakets off and put them on the floor. It take about 30 to 45 mins but he up. This sounds like something to work on. My son gets up to his alarm with no problems, but my daughter would turn hers off and go back to bed, even if the alarm was across the room. So I call her to get her up. We had to have a few talks about it -- about how I needed to have her out of bed or actually speaking to me, because if she just grunted she was probably still in bed and going to go back to sleep. It took some work, but now I almost never have to call her more than once, and while she might stomp out of bed, she is no longer stomping by the time she comes downstairs. For your son -- maybe an alarm clock with a big snooze button and a tiny off button? Spring break I did not have anyone so I did everything on my own like I was taught. And it totally backed fired in my face. He was so mean and hateful. he grabbed his older brothers swords that his bother collects off the wall and started to threaten me. It scare the older boys but they are scare of John. I took the sword but I did not know that is a 3 piece set. Next 2 days this waking up him up was getting worst to the point I did not know what to do So I called my Paster from church to help me. She took John for a few hours.I called his Bio. Father and told I can not handle John anymore So I think the best thing for everyone in this house is to send him back to his father. It sounds like it's best for John too. I feel for you, really. And for your husband and the other kids. But I also feel for John. How it must feel to be him. I hope he and his dad have a better relationship? If not...well, I hope you aren't just washing your hands of him. But until then what do I do? Everyone feels like they are walking on eggshells. I hate feeling this way. My husband and I all together have 7 children. I have to think about the other children also and I know in a few weeks or month John will hit me. I gave you my suggestions in response to your first post. Did you not see them? Bizby |
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John`s temper 14 yr old boy
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