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#1
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Kids purchasing Christmas gifts
Should I give my SS (13 this month) money to buy something for his dad? For
his sister who lives in Florida? What about for his biomom (also in Fla)? Or for his friend? Or, should he save up his allowance ($16 a week) and buy those himself? At what age did/will your own kids start buying gifts for friends and relatives out of their own money? -- ColoradoSkiBum |
#2
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Kids purchasing Christmas gifts
"ColoradoSkiBum" wrote in message ... Should I give my SS (13 this month) money to buy something for his dad? For his sister who lives in Florida? What about for his biomom (also in Fla)? Or for his friend? Or, should he save up his allowance ($16 a week) and buy those himself? At what age did/will your own kids start buying gifts for friends and relatives out of their own money? At 13 my youngest has pocket money or money which others have gven her as gifts, she's too young to earn money. Even my older daughter who does have a part time job and earns, doesn't have that much money. She no longer gets pocket money though, so her own income goes for all her entertainment needs, and lots of items like clothing. I give both girls £100 for Christmas shopping. It's their responsibility to draw up a plan of how many people that's got to cover and to budget for gifts, with the proviso that it covers family first and then firiends. This is the first year that Louise has had enough income that she can contribute towards the gifts from that to increase what she spends, but I still intend to give it to her. It comes out of child support which both my ex and I pay and which I don't use for buying presents, just as buying birthday presents for family and friend's birthdays throughout the rest of the year does. Wendy |
#3
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Kids purchasing Christmas gifts
In a previous article, "ColoradoSkiBum" said:
Should I give my SS (13 this month) money to buy something for his dad? For his sister who lives in Florida? What about for his biomom (also in Fla)? Or for his friend? Or, should he save up his allowance ($16 a week) and buy those himself? I am a real soft touch and when my kids were 13 I paid for their family gifts. They paid for gifts for friends. Personally, I do think you should make sure that he gets something for his mom, but there are people here who will say that it's not your job, his father should be doing that. There is something to that. At what age did/will your own kids start buying gifts for friends and relatives out of their own money? They just sort of segued into it. My older daughter went out and got a job the day she turned 16. My younger one is 16 now, but feels that a job would interfere with her studies. Since she's taking very challenging courses (three Advanced Placement courses including chemistry, and other courses including pre-calculus) and she's getting extremely good grades, I support that decision. She gets an allowance of $60 a month (which isn't a lot) and budgets herself very well. Vicki -- Just to think I used to worry about things like that. Used to worry 'bout rich and skinny 'til I wound up poor and fat. -Delbert McClinton |
#4
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Kids purchasing Christmas gifts
In article ,
ColoradoSkiBum wrote: Should I give my SS (13 this month) money to buy something for his dad? For his sister who lives in Florida? What about for his biomom (also in Fla)? Or for his friend? Or, should he save up his allowance ($16 a week) and buy those himself? At what age did/will your own kids start buying gifts for friends and relatives out of their own money? -- ColoradoSkiBum I still help my son (who will be 17 on Monday) with gifts for family members, including his dad & SM, his grandmothers, his uncles (on my side only). He doesn't have a job, and not much allowance to save. I can't really afford to pay him for jobs around the house, either (that is *if* I could even get him to do them). He pays for any gifts for his girlfriend, or his friends. He does photography, so my contribution (besides paying for his photography classes) is frames to put the pictures in (they're pretty inexpensive, so I'm willing to help out this way). I want to make sure that these family members are not forgotten by him on Christmas since they always think of him. On the other hand, I don't really want to do the whole thing for him--he at least has to have a hand in it by choosing and printing the photographs for each person. When he was younger, I gave him money to buy gifts for family members or we sat down together and made things. He always liked Fimo, so he made some pretty interesting Christmas ornaments for people. Is making things an option for your SS? Is he crafty at all? Craft stores sell supplies for soap making, candle making, candy making--all kinds of ideas. If he is crafty, maybe you could contribute the money for supplies if he made the gifts. All that being said, it's still an uphill battle to get him to think about other people. He still thinks the world revolves around him and he'd much rather spend whatever money he has on himself than on Christmas presents for his family. I guess that's why I insist that he not be empty handed at Christmas, and I'm willing to help out. I am hoping the lesson will sink in eventually, and I think it might be--he's been sneaking people into his room to get their approval on what he bought me for Christmas--with his own money. I'd draw the line at gifts for friends, and let him know that he has to save his allowance for those. Deb R. |
#5
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Kids purchasing Christmas gifts
"Vicki Robinson" wrote in message ... She gets an allowance of $60 a month (which isn't a lot) and budgets herself very well. Vicki Vicki, do you give her the entire $60 to budget through the month, or do you allocate it per week? My BS15 fritters money away, and I have thought about giving him a larger sum less often so that he can see how much he really has. Karen |
#6
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Kids purchasing Christmas gifts
In a previous article, "Karen" said:
Vicki, do you give her the entire $60 to budget through the month, or do you allocate it per week? My BS15 fritters money away, and I have thought about giving him a larger sum less often so that he can see how much he really has. I have, for years, mailed my kids a monthly allowance check, and then cash it for them. My older daughter used to be completely profligate with money. (She was **much** younger then.) She would spend her allowance immediately, on whatever was close to hand, and then bug me for an advance when she saw something she wanted more. So I finally decided that this had to be more formal, to help them respect the process, so I mailed them allowance checks, once a month, taught them how to endorse them, and then we'd go to the bank to cash them. It was like a paycheck, and of course they couldn't have an advance because you get your allowance once a month in a check that we cash at the bank. How can you get an advance on that? If I run short of money at the end of a pay period, can I ask my boss for an advance? Don't be silly! Now they're in our automatic bill paying system, and the bank sends them a check once a month. Well, the younger daughter is. Come to think of it, I'm 6 days late with the elder daughter's monthly allotment! Anyway, though, it worked just fine. Vicki -- Just to think I used to worry about things like that. Used to worry 'bout rich and skinny 'til I wound up poor and fat. -Delbert McClinton |
#7
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Kids purchasing Christmas gifts
On Fri, 5 Dec 2003 21:16:13 -0700, "ColoradoSkiBum"
wrote: Should I give my SS (13 this month) money to buy something for his dad? For his sister who lives in Florida? What about for his biomom (also in Fla)? Or for his friend? Or, should he save up his allowance ($16 a week) and buy those himself? At what age did/will your own kids start buying gifts for friends and relatives out of their own money? AS I've mentioned before, my kid has an allowance that includes clothing and everything else. However, this is brand new in September and t hi syear at least we will certainly add to that. So my answer would be, if you didnt discuss before, exactly what his allowance would cover, then yes, you should add funds. In our case we review allowances quarterly, discuss what they cover and what we cover (ie prior we paid for lunches bt now his allowances includes lunches and so on). Give him more warnign that you expect him to pay for gifts. At this late date if he has not saved anything its kind of late. My kids by gifts for immediate family (which would include bio mom and sister) and one or two very close friends. Barb |
#8
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Kids purchasing Christmas gifts
ColoradoSkiBum wrote:
Should I give my SS (13 this month) money to buy something for his dad? For his sister who lives in Florida? What about for his biomom (also in Fla)? Or for his friend? Or, should he save up his allowance ($16 a week) and buy those himself? At what age did/will your own kids start buying gifts for friends and relatives out of their own money? I think it depends on your family approach. I think if you want him to do gifts out of his allowance money, then he probably needs a bigger allowance. Otherwise, he'd likely have to spend nothing for weeks to manage a few gifts. On the other hand, I don't think there's anything wrong with giving him a budget for Christmas gifts. Or maybe you can adopt a combined approach where you provide a budget for family gifts and he handles friends' gifts out of his allowance. I do think it's important that he be able to give gifts, budget for them, and choose them for the people close to him. I just don't think that it's essential that the money be his allowance money or money he earned by working for it to be a valid experience. Depending on how responsible he is, you may have to exercise some oversight or help him budget. Best wishes, Ericka |
#9
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Kids purchasing Christmas gifts
"Vicki Robinson" wrote in message ... They just sort of segued into it. My older daughter, Louise, said out of the blue tonight that she really didn't expect me to give her money to do her Christmas shopping, but that she was grateful for the money if I was sure I could afford it. It's thinks like that that tell you they're growing up. On Friday, I had a job interview and had to do a presentation for it which I'd been working on all week. She sent me a text message in the morning to wish me luck and rang at lunch time to ask me how it went. It made me so happy that she cared enough to think about me. Wendy |
#10
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Kids purchasing Christmas gifts
ColoradoSkiBum wrote in message ... Should I give my SS (13 this month) money to buy something for his dad? For his sister who lives in Florida? What about for his biomom (also in Fla)? Or for his friend? Or, should he save up his allowance ($16 a week) and buy those himself? At what age did/will your own kids start buying gifts for friends and relatives out of their own money? Dh says that his parents always paid half of all presents from when they first got pocket money (age 5). I think that's a good compromise. I didn't get pocket money, but when I managed to convince my parents (age ~10) that I wanted to buy the presents myself, they used to give I think £10 for me to do this. I think discussing it with your ss might be a good idea, as he might want to feel the presents were from him not you. I would have at that age. Debbie |
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