instant single parent of my 18 year old son!

Hi,
~
my 18 year old son came from overseas less than 2 months ago
~
He wanted to come to the idea that he had about "America". He
occupies his mind with a great deal of hip-hop and reggaeton.
~
I had been noticing how much different his personality is from mine
even before he got here, but I never expected for things to go out of
control so fast so soon
~
Basically he doesn't listen to what you are trying to tell him and I
am not so good at being persuasive. Just trying to make him understand
that he may not go to dancing places/where they sell alcoholic
beverages till he is 21 and that he is not supposed to go to school
wearing his oversize earrings has been tough to me
~
Just taking about these matters to me is incredibly taxing now
imagine talking about it to your own son and in a persuasive way
without losing your temper/getting angry at some point
~
How do people cope with these issues? Any manuals for "instant
daddies"?

Thanks
lbrtchx

He's 18...an adult according to the law. Write down the house rules as
you wish them to be. Discuss them with him...3 strikes, he's out if he
breaks them..period. I'm one of those parents who totally believes in
tough love when it's needed. The person paying the mortgage is the one
in control, not the one who abuses the priviledge of living there.

here, here

I agree with that one, you are NOT legally bound to provide him with
anything let alone a place to live.

My father was an alcholic for many years and refused to pay for squat of
mine, (he passed away 3 yrs ago)
I am 38 yrs old and all a man really ever looks back at about his father is
how much time he was willing to commit to a relationship.
My father even though I do not remember a day when he was solber he was
always there to talk to. I just wish he would have been there solber is all
I would change.

(along with him not smoking - he died of cancer at age 61 - he smoked from
the time of 14 on 3 packs of pall malls a day!)

I now am on the other end of things and am the father of a daughter that is
about to turn 18 in 2 months, I keep tellng her that she needs to get her
stuff together and figure out what it is she wants to do, now I am not
saying she goes out and gets into trouble actually the opposite she would be
content just being in her room 24/7 playing on the computer!! She graduated
this past school year with honors but seems to be stuck in a rut with what
she wants to do I told her she has till xmas to figure something out, get
a job, start college do SOMETHING or MOVE out as I wont support a free
loader..

So far it looks like she wants to go to job core for electronics after she
is 18 (since my income is to high for her to qualify until after 18) since
college loans are scaring her especially when she does not know what else to
take.

Robert


"Laura" wrote in message
...

He's 18...an adult according to the law. Write down the house rules as
you wish them to be. Discuss them with him...3 strikes, he's out if he
breaks them..period. I'm one of those parents who totally believes in
tough love when it's needed. The person paying the mortgage is the one
in control, not the one who abuses the priviledge of living there.