morals?

I didn't realise that this group was about putting down other people. Don't
you think I feel bad enough as it is. And to have you turn around and say
that I should give my kids to someone else cause I have no back bone,
please, give me a break here. Just for the record my kids have only ever
met this guy a couple of times and they know him only as mummy's friend. My
kids mean the world to me and I would do anything for them, my personal life
does not affect them. And as for not having a back bone, you know nothing
about me or what I have been through. I have been on the run from my
children's father for nearly 3yrs, I have numerous violence orders placed on
his head and protection orders for me and my children. I've gone back to
full time University while still holding down two casual jobs and raising my
kids. You really should not start running people down without knowing them
or just because they have done something that you don't agree with.
caroline

--
love you always caroline mwah
"Joelle" wrote in message
...

I love
this guy so much and we were really great together.

No you don't love him and no you weren't great together. I bet if you
think
real hard and are real honest, the sex wasn't even that great. You are
just
lonely and scared of being in the world without a man to lean on. Well
get
over it honey, your kids need you to be confident enough that you can
raise
them and take care of them without some man in your bed.

I know I should have
said no, I know that I did the wrong thing - but I also know that I would
do
it again.

Well if you are that sure that you have absolutely no control, find some
nice
relative to raise your kids for you because you are not fit to. How the
hell
are your children supposed to learn anything about self-discipline,self
respect
and self control if you can't even keep your legs together around some
fool tom
cat who obviously can't keep it in his pants?


Am I being totally immoral here or

Let's just take the whole morality question out of it and say YOU ARE
BEING
STUPID.


this just a really
complicated situation that I have to take one day at a time.

No it's not complicated. If you really are this weak, get some
counseling, get
some help or give your children to someone who has a little backbone.

I feel like
I'm losing my mind over this.

Maybe if you just stopped thinking about yourself for two seconds and
thought
of what your children need you would get a clue.

Geesh, someone tell me this is a troll.

Joelle

Thanks for the advice but I don't have a dependant personality. I am a very
strong person, I"ve had no choice but to be that way. My life revolves
around my children and doing the best I can to give them the life that they
deserve. The way that you have worded the first paragraph I don't think you
are on track. It is a very rare occurence if I happen to go out. And
drinking is something even rarer for me. I study full time, have two casual
jobs and I am raising two children, where on earth would I find the time to
go out. And besides that what is the problem with picking up occassionaly.
It's not like I would bring them home to my house with my children here, I
do have more brains than that. And as for having a lack of confidance in
myself and my abilities, no way. After what I have been through in the last
three years I have total confidence in my decisions, especially where it
concerns my children and their safety, and in my abilities as a mother. I
have goten my family from the gutter to a brand new four bedroom house by my
self. I am proud of what I have done for my kids and just because my
personal life is fckd doesnt mean that I am fckd as a human being.
caroline

--
love you always caroline mwah
"Celtic Castaway" wrote in message
...


I know that pattern.... take a look at this info, and if it reminds you of
yourself then seek some professional help and stay away from any type of
relationship until you figure it out. Focus on your kids, need them as
much
as they need you, and stay away from clubs... or any place where picking
up
men and alcohol are combined...

Good Luck
CC

People with dependant personality go beyond the normal degree of
interdependence to allowing another person to take over major areas in
their
lives. It is not unusual for people with this disorder to have another
personality disorder. They are also at a higher risk for developing major
depression, dysthymia, and anxiety disorders. There are no reliable
estimates to this disorder's prevalence. The major traits of dependant
personality disorder a

Need for others to control their lives
They have difficulty in making decisions or initiating new projects on
their
own. This is because they lack the self-confidence and trust in
themselves,
not because they lack motivation or energy.

Submissive and clinging behavior
People with this disorder have problems expressing disagreement with
others
because they fear the person will not like them or support them
afterwards.

Fears of separation and abandonment
Individuals with dependant personality disorder have a strong need to be
taken care of. They will volunteer to do undesirable tasks to keep another
person 's affection and support. After a relationship ends, they may feel
so
incapable, helpless, and alone that they will search for a new partner and
enter into a relationship with the first person to come along.

Lack of confidence in themselves and abilities
People with this disorder often belittle their own abilities and would
describe themselves as dumb or stupid. Because they doubt their own
ability
to make decisions, they feel uncomfortable and helpless when no one is
there
to take care of them. A person with this disorder will rarely initiate
projects or activities because they lack self-confidence in their
judgement
or abilities.

Treatment
Psychotherapy is the primary treatment for dependant personality disorder.
Much of the time is spent teaching assertiveness skills, decision-making,
and developing independence using behavioral and cognitive techniques.
Like
many of the personality disorders, a supportive therapeutic relationship
is
vital. Within this relationship, the person with dependent personality
disorder will begin expressing their true feelings, make decisions, and
deal
with episodes of anxiety. This will help to boost their self-esteem. Group
therapy can help them to develop supportive relationships and provide an
atmosphere to try their new social skills. Cognitive-behavioral therapy
can
help them challenge negative self-thoughts.




"caroline godfrey" wrote in message
...
My personal life just seems to be going from one bad move to another.
My
now ex boyfriend and I split up in August just after his ex girlfriend
had
their child, and obviously he went back to her. It's been 3 mths and
I've
managed to keep well and trully away from him, except for when I work (I
work at the local club that he goes to). A group of us went out and hit
the
town on Saturday night and stupid me went and slept with the guy, again.
I've been beating myself up now for two days. I even covered his ass
with
his now girlfriend (mother of his child - not married by the way). I
feel
like such a bitch. He says that he loves me and that he went back to
this
girl because of his daughter being born. The mother of his child isn't
exactly the type of person who would take this in a rational adult
fashion.
She would literally turn up at my house and belt the crap out of me,
weather
my kids (4 and 2) were here or not. Now I don't know what to do. I
love
this guy so much and we were really great together. I know I should
have
said no, I know that I did the wrong thing - but I also know that I
would
do
it again. Am I being totally immoral here or is this just a really
complicated situation that I have to take one day at a time. I feel
like
I'm losing my mind over this.





---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.537 / Virus Database: 332 - Release Date: 11/8/2003

caroline godfrey wrote in message
...
Thanks for the advice but I don't have a dependant personality. I am a
very
strong person, I"ve had no choice but to be that way. My life revolves
around my children and doing the best I can to give them the life that
they
deserve. The way that you have worded the first paragraph I don't think
you
are on track. It is a very rare occurence if I happen to go out. And
drinking is something even rarer for me. I study full time, have two
casual
jobs and I am raising two children, where on earth would I find the time
to
go out. And besides that what is the problem with picking up
occassionaly.
It's not like I would bring them home to my house with my children here, I
do have more brains than that. And as for having a lack of confidance in
myself and my abilities, no way. After what I have been through in the
last
three years I have total confidence in my decisions, especially where it
concerns my children and their safety, and in my abilities as a mother. I
have goten my family from the gutter to a brand new four bedroom house by
my
self. I am proud of what I have done for my kids and just because my
personal life is fckd doesnt mean that I am fckd as a human being.
caroline

--


It may not be a problem picking up someone, as you said but it IS a problem
for you, right? That was your reason for the original post?? I do think if
that man did love you, well, he would be with you. But I am not a
relationship expert. As for your kids, trust me, they will one day know of
your actions. It always comes back to haunt you. I tell you this because as
I got older, the sins of my parents became known to me in various ways. Live
as though you have nothing to hide.

T

And to have you turn around and say
that I should give my kids to someone else cause I have no back bone,

You are the one that said "I know I should not sleep with this guy but I'm
going to anyway." You are the one that told us you have no backbone. Do you
think that someone who doesn't even have control over her sex life should raise
children? Does that make you mad? Good. Get mad enough to get some control
over you life so that you can raise your kids.

please, give me a break here.

No. Giving you a break has not helped you or your children.

My
kids mean the world to me and I would do anything for them, my personal life
does not affect them.

Yes it does. If you have no control over your sex life, that effects them
whether they meet the guy or not.

And as for not having a back bone, you know nothing
about me

I know what you told us. You said you are going to have sex with a man even
though you don't want to. Does that sound like a backbone?

I have been on the run from my
children's father for nearly 3yrs

So this is not the first time you have given yourself to a man who is not
worthy of you.

You really should not start running people down without knowing them
or just because they have done something that you don't agree with.

So what the hell did you post for? For people to say "Oh you poor dear, you
can't help it if you sleep with men who wipe their shoes on you

I'm sure you have told your sordid tale to lots of girlfriends who have
sympathized and "supported" you. Did it stop you from getting involved with
abusive men? No. Maybe if someone tells you that if you can't control
yourself around men you should give up your children will make you FIGHT FOR
YOUR CHILDREN and show them you do have enough respect for yourself to stop
these stupid self-destructive patterns. Trust me, being weak and giving
yourself to men who are not right for you DOES effect your children.

Are you ****ed off at me? Does it **** you off that I say you are a pathetic
weak woman who cannot say no to any man that shows her a little attention?
Good. Prove me wrong. Kick that ******* out of your life.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle

"caroline godfrey" wrote in message
...
Thanks for the advice but I don't have a dependant personality. I am a
very
strong person, I"ve had no choice but to be that way. My life revolves
around my children and doing the best I can to give them the life that
they
deserve. The way that you have worded the first paragraph I don't think
you
are on track. It is a very rare occurence if I happen to go out. And
drinking is something even rarer for me. I study full time, have two
casual
jobs and I am raising two children, where on earth would I find the time
to
go out. And besides that what is the problem with picking up
occassionaly.
It's not like I would bring them home to my house with my children here, I
do have more brains than that. And as for having a lack of confidance in
myself and my abilities, no way. After what I have been through in the
last
three years I have total confidence in my decisions, especially where it
concerns my children and their safety, and in my abilities as a mother. I
have goten my family from the gutter to a brand new four bedroom house by
my
self. I am proud of what I have done for my kids and just because my
personal life is fckd doesnt mean that I am fckd as a human being.
caroline


For your sake, I hope that your casual tryst with your former boyfriend is
an isolated incident of poor choice. We know that he's fertile, given that
he is currently a new parent with some else. The last thing you need is to
get pregnant as well. That is integral in looking after your family "with
total confidence where it concerns your children, their safety and your
abilities as a mother"

Lisa

caroline godfrey wrote in message ...

Thanks Dennis. I know where you are coming from I just have to get my
head there.

Yeah, no one ever said it was easy.

Thanks for not abusing me, lecturing me or telling me that I
have a psychological problem


What! for having a shag with an ex?
Now if you had said that George W Bush is the best president the USA has
ever had then I'd give you the works ;-)

Dennis

Joelle wrote in message

The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine


A great quote, never heard it before.
Think I'm about half way through the book and Freddie is well into the third
chapter.

Dennis

"caroline godfrey" wrote in message ...
SNip
I feel like I'm losing my mind over this.

I am so sorry you have been put through this, but remember, you can
lose your mind, but not your soul or self respect.

Keep strong,
V

On Wed, 12 Nov 2003 22:57:59 -0000, "Dennis Here"
youreply wrote:


caroline godfrey wrote in message ...

Thanks Dennis. I know where you are coming from I just have to get my
head there.

Yeah, no one ever said it was easy.

Thanks for not abusing me, lecturing me or telling me that I
have a psychological problem


What! for having a shag with an ex?
Now if you had said that George W Bush is the best president the USA has
ever had then I'd give you the works ;-)

He's the best president ever appointed by the judiciary, howzat?

lm

"lm" wrote in message
...
On Wed, 12 Nov 2003 22:57:59 -0000, "Dennis Here"
youreply wrote:


He's the best president ever appointed by the judiciary, howzat?

lm

Hmmm...should I say it? Nah...

I can't help it...I have to say it

He's the best president money could buy....
Money can get you many things, but intelligence is NOT one of them

there, I said it....

*b :-)

"The folks who conducted to act on our country on September 11 made a big
mistake. They underestimated America. They underestimated our resolve, our
determination, our love for freedom. They misunderestimated the fact that
we love a neighbor in need. They misunderestimated the compassion of our
country. I think they misunderestimated the will and determination of the
commander in chief, too." --At the CIA, Langley, Virginia, September 26,
2001

and I have plenty more official quote where that came from....