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Sibling rivalry/conflicts at school?
I have a lot of sibling pairs/groups at school, and one particular set of
boys (one in 3rd grade, one in 5th) seem to come in every morning about two steps away from major fighting. (Since I teach music, I am on cafeteria supervision every morning for the time between when the students arrive and the time the teachers pick them up for class). It can easily become a major job keeping these two apart and off each other. This is not the typical sibling pattern, in my experience. Usually siblings may absolutely detest each other outside of school, but be very supportive of each other within school. In addition, the younger seems to be the aggressor, not the older. Mother has not been responsive to attempts to contact her. Does this suggest anything from a parent standpoint? The only thing I can think of is that maybe the older bullies the younger at home, and the younger makes up for it at school because he knows we won't let things go too far? |
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Sibling rivalry/conflicts at school?
Donna Metler wrote:
I have a lot of sibling pairs/groups at school, and one particular set of boys (one in 3rd grade, one in 5th) seem to come in every morning about two steps away from major fighting. (Since I teach music, I am on cafeteria supervision every morning for the time between when the students arrive and the time the teachers pick them up for class). It can easily become a major job keeping these two apart and off each other. This is not the typical sibling pattern, in my experience. Usually siblings may absolutely detest each other outside of school, but be very supportive of each other within school. In addition, the younger seems to be the aggressor, not the older. Mother has not been responsive to attempts to contact her. Does this suggest anything from a parent standpoint? The only thing I can think of is that maybe the older bullies the younger at home, and the younger makes up for it at school because he knows we won't let things go too far? Well, the fact that the mother is not responsive might be saying something. I'm not sure I'd read too much into the boys' behavior, though. My two frequently fight like cats and dogs--can't stand to be apart, can't stand to be together! They do have times when they're wonderful together, but they can be really ornery too, including at school (though they fortunately have little time together at school). And in our case too, it's the younger one usually kicking things off. I think he opts for physicality because that's his long suit--big brother can argue him into a corner almost every time. And, for whatever reason, mornings are a challenging time for my two fairly often. Now, the situation you describe may be more serious than it is with my boys--particularly since the mother doesn't seem to be interested in talking to you (certainly, if anyone raised an issue with mine, I'd be down there fast enough to make their heads spin ;-) I just don't think that having sibling issues show up at school is *necessarily* indicative of something terribly awry, though it certainly *could* be. Best wishes, Ericka |
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Sibling rivalry/conflicts at school?
"Donna Metler" wrote in message . ..
I have a lot of sibling pairs/groups at school, and one particular set of boys (one in 3rd grade, one in 5th) seem to come in every morning about two steps away from major fighting. (Since I teach music, I am on cafeteria supervision every morning for the time between when the students arrive and the time the teachers pick them up for class). It can easily become a major job keeping these two apart and off each other. This is not the typical sibling pattern, in my experience. Usually siblings may absolutely detest each other outside of school, but be very supportive of each other within school. In addition, the younger seems to be the aggressor, not the older. Mother has not been responsive to attempts to contact her. Does this suggest anything from a parent standpoint? The only thing I can think of is that maybe the older bullies the younger at home, and the younger makes up for it at school because he knows we won't let things go too far? I've got two data points. When I was a kid, I HATED my brother in school, and barely tolerated him out of school. He felt the same way about me. Most of the time we pretended we didn't know each other, but there were times when it came to pushing and shoving. My kids are now in the same school for the first time in a couple of years, and we have had a couple of 'incidents' where they were actively trying to kill each other in school. One happened right at the beginning of the school year, when DD was trying to figure out how to fit into a crowd and she attempted to drive her brother crazy to win points. It worked on both levels, and the VP and I had a very interesting phone call. Happened a second time after school, when DD was goading DS (this is her major talent in life...she's just unbelievably good at goading) and he lost his temper on the bus. Detention all around seems to have swept this under the rug, but I'm willing to bet it will happen again. We've got plenty of time till June. I think this scenario has to do more with the level of trust siblings feel towards each other than a reflection of what is going on at home. I know what I don't tolerate at home is a lot stricter than what the school tolerates in general, so that my kids test there more than they do at home. Also, they are in a certain comfort zone knowing how strong their opponent is, as opposed to goading or baiting a kid who may be a lot stronger than s/he looks. Marjorie |
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Sibling rivalry/conflicts at school?
"Donna Metler" wrote in message . ..
I have a lot of sibling pairs/groups at school, and one particular set of boys (one in 3rd grade, one in 5th) seem to come in every morning about two steps away from major fighting. Does this suggest anything from a parent standpoint? The only thing I can think of is that maybe the older bullies the younger at home, and the younger makes up for it at school because he knows we won't let things go too far? Maybe it is indicative of tensions they don't feel comfortable showing at home. It could be that they come in every morning in a bad mood from home and the only outlet they have for that is their sibling. School may be a "safe" place for them where they feel they can act out feelings they can't express at home. Chris |
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Sibling rivalry/conflicts at school?
In article ,
Donna Metler wrote: I have a lot of sibling pairs/groups at school, and one particular set of boys (one in 3rd grade, one in 5th) seem to come in every morning about two steps away from major fighting. My boys (2.75 years apart) seem to be at one another's throats at school a lot. The teachers try to arrange to keep them separate. They can be at one another's throats at home a fair bit too However, a lot of the time, they play nicely with one another, and they do genuinely care for one another. I don't think it necessarily indicates anything in particular about their relationship or any issues at home. It's partly an issue of personalities, and the fact that they see a lot of one another, both at home and at school. What kind of help/cooperation would you like to get from the parents? Our kids' teachers informed me of the situation, for my information, but didn't think there was anything special I could/should do about it. They just try to avoid situations where one will have a chance to antagonize the other. --Robyn |
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