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OT - Potty training - can it be child-led? (xpost)



 
 
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  #1  
Old November 19th 03, 05:37 PM
Cathy Weeks
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Default OT - Potty training - can it be child-led? (xpost)

Hi all,
My daughter is almost two, and all of a sudden has started asking to
sit on the potty. She prefers to do it fully clothed, and while one
of her parents are sitting on the toilet, but I figured it was time to
start reading up on the topic.

My guess is that she's still a bit young for this - she is starting to
show some signs of readiness: She tells me when she poops, and is
asking to be changed (a huge change from 18 months of HATING to be
changed), but she isn't showing other signs - she doesn't hold her pee
consciously as far as I can tell, or even understand the concept of
waiting. My guess is that she's starting to be aware of the function
of the toilet and is copying us. I got the potty out because she
*asked* to poop on the potty (I about fell over in shock!).

She's sat on the potty (mostly because she follows one of the adults
into the bathroom several times, a couple of times with no diaper (at
bath time) but hasn't actually gone in the toilet. She even "wiped"
and threw the toilet paper into the potty!

Now, long ago, after watching a family member go through a difficult
potty training, where using the toilet turned into a power struggle
(and as soon as they gave up - she decided to use the toilet), Chris
and I decided that we would let Kivi train herself. When she was
ready, she would ask US to train. The reasons go back further than
that - Chris's mom had a lot of difficulty potty training him, and we
decided that potty training should be child-led.

However, that doesn't mean we know what we are doing with regard to
the topic! My stepson trained easily when he was about 2 years 8
months, but his Mom did it while we were on our honeymoon, much to our
relief. She just told us what to do when we got back.

Are there any good potty training books or resources out there that
follow our philosophy?

Cathy Weeks
Mommy to Kivi Alexis 12/01
  #2  
Old November 19th 03, 05:50 PM
Cheryl S.
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Default OT - Potty training - can it be child-led? (xpost)

Cathy Weeks wrote in message
om...
My daughter is almost two, and all of a sudden has started asking to
sit on the potty. She prefers to do it fully clothed, and while one
of her parents are sitting on the toilet, but I figured it was time to
start reading up on the topic. snip
She's sat on the potty (mostly because she follows one of the adults
into the bathroom several times, a couple of times with no diaper (at
bath time) but hasn't actually gone in the toilet. She even "wiped"
and threw the toilet paper into the potty!


You're right, she is copying you, because she's interested in learning
this new behavior. This sounds just like what Julie did. Don't expect
Kivi to start actually using the toilet anytime soon, but encourage her
interest. Julie went through several phases of interest starting when
she was 18 months old where she would practice each component of toilet
use (pants down, sit, get toilet paper, drop in, pants up, flush, wash
hands) over and over for a while, then lose interest completely for a
while. Then one day when she was two-and-five-months old, she simply
said, "I want to wear underwear" one morning so I gave it to her. She
had two days of no success, one day of fifty-fifty, and by the end of
the week was completely dry. So potty training can definitely be
child-led. I felt at a complete loss as to what to do, as it sounds
like you feel, but it turned out I didn't really need to do anything but
model the behavior and provide positive reinforcement whenever she tried
it herself. No gimmicks like sticker charts or M&Ms.
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 7 mo.
And Jaden, 2 months

Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.


  #3  
Old November 19th 03, 07:15 PM
Dawn Lawson
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Default OT - Potty training - can it be child-led? (xpost)



Cathy Weeks wrote:

Hi all,
My daughter is almost two, and all of a sudden has started asking to
sit on the potty. She prefers to do it fully clothed, and while one
of her parents are sitting on the toilet, but I figured it was time to
start reading up on the topic.

My guess is that she's still a bit young for this - she is starting to
show some signs of readiness: She tells me when she poops, and is
asking to be changed (a huge change from 18 months of HATING to be
changed), but she isn't showing other signs - she doesn't hold her pee
consciously as far as I can tell, or even understand the concept of
waiting. My guess is that she's starting to be aware of the function
of the toilet and is copying us. I got the potty out because she
*asked* to poop on the potty (I about fell over in shock!).


Good grief,exactly WHAT would indicate readiness if not all this??? Why
is she too young? Plenty of kids have historically been at least
partially trained by this age.


However, that doesn't mean we know what we are doing with regard to
the topic!


It's not as big a deal as soooo many people seem to make it. If she's
copying you, then talk about it, and when you go in to the bathroom to
use the toilet, let her mirror you, take her undies off, sit her on the
potty, and chat about putting pee and poop into the potty or toilet and
"go through the motions" with her. Take her after meals, or when she
ordinarily poops, even if you "miss" it, and just sit her there after a
poop, and put the poop into the potty for her to see.

Let her go nude if you want, it helps them gain awareness of what the
feelings lead to and what happens.


  #4  
Old November 19th 03, 07:24 PM
Shannon
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Default OT - Potty training - can it be child-led? (xpost)

Yes.

DS pretty much trained himself by the time he was 2 and a half. We just
followed his lead, put him on the potty when he asked or pointed, and had
the underpants ready. We also let him watch us (privacy? What privacy?) so
that it would seem normal to him. When I had taken nothing but dry diapers
off him for about 2 weeks solid, we asked him if he wanted Bob the Builder
underwear, and he said yes.

We had a few accidents here and there, and a few incidents of him wanting to
imitate the dog and poop in our back yard (we moved a potty out there :-) ),
and we did use a positive reinforcer for making it to the potty in time
(jelly beans), but within a month he was dry all the time, even at night.

We didn't use a book, we just followed his lead, but I've heard people
reccomend "Once Upon a Potty". Sounds like you're doing just what we did,
and I imagine it will work similarly.

-Shannon

"Cathy Weeks" wrote in message
om...
Hi all,
My daughter is almost two, and all of a sudden has started asking to
sit on the potty. She prefers to do it fully clothed, and while one
of her parents are sitting on the toilet, but I figured it was time to
start reading up on the topic.

My guess is that she's still a bit young for this - she is starting to
show some signs of readiness: She tells me when she poops, and is
asking to be changed (a huge change from 18 months of HATING to be
changed), but she isn't showing other signs - she doesn't hold her pee
consciously as far as I can tell, or even understand the concept of
waiting. My guess is that she's starting to be aware of the function
of the toilet and is copying us. I got the potty out because she
*asked* to poop on the potty (I about fell over in shock!).

She's sat on the potty (mostly because she follows one of the adults
into the bathroom several times, a couple of times with no diaper (at
bath time) but hasn't actually gone in the toilet. She even "wiped"
and threw the toilet paper into the potty!

Now, long ago, after watching a family member go through a difficult
potty training, where using the toilet turned into a power struggle
(and as soon as they gave up - she decided to use the toilet), Chris
and I decided that we would let Kivi train herself. When she was
ready, she would ask US to train. The reasons go back further than
that - Chris's mom had a lot of difficulty potty training him, and we
decided that potty training should be child-led.

However, that doesn't mean we know what we are doing with regard to
the topic! My stepson trained easily when he was about 2 years 8
months, but his Mom did it while we were on our honeymoon, much to our
relief. She just told us what to do when we got back.

Are there any good potty training books or resources out there that
follow our philosophy?

Cathy Weeks
Mommy to Kivi Alexis 12/01



  #5  
Old November 19th 03, 07:26 PM
Larry McMahan
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Default OT - Potty training - can it be child-led? (xpost)

Cathy,

In response to your subject line: YES!

I have raised 4 kids, and I must say that the difficulty of potty
training is the most overrated part of child raising. We NEVER
made any attempt to have our kids spend time sitting on the potty.
Our earliest potty trained at 22 months. Latest at about 30.

We had a potty available, and they would ask to go in the potty,
but not at our urging.

However, there are some things that we did do that I think were
VERY important and made it a lot easier. The main think was to
let them run around completely naked when we thought they were
ready to toilet train. This gave them an idea of their bodily
functions, and what was going on.

At first they would start announcing that they had to go before
doing it. They they would squat down in the back yard or whatever.
It was not long before they would actually run to the potty when
they felt the need.

As soon as they were completely in control naked, then we knew
we could put their clothes back on them (without the diaper) and
that they would ask and not have an accident.

When we reached this part, we went to the nightime diaper only
routine. We continued this until the child ASKED to not go to
bed with a diaper. At that point we would insist that the child
go to the potty immediately before bed. This was the point at
which we considered him/her completely trained.

Of course there would be an occasional wet bed incident, but we
never made a big deal of it.

Hope this helps,
Larry
  #6  
Old November 19th 03, 07:29 PM
Rosie
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Default OT - Potty training - can it be child-led? (xpost)

"Dawn Lawson" :

It's not as big a deal as soooo many people seem to make it.


Why HAS it become such an enormous deal? I can't help wondering who's
funding the research I keep reading about that shows toddlers aren't ready
until they are 2.5-3 years old. It's not Proctor and Gamble is it by any
chance? Or am I too cynical?

ROSIE



  #7  
Old November 19th 03, 08:01 PM
Tine Andersen
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Default OT - Potty training - can it be child-led? (xpost)


"Rosie" skrev i en meddelelse
...
"Dawn Lawson" :

It's not as big a deal as soooo many people seem to make it.


Why HAS it become such an enormous deal? I can't help wondering who's
funding the research I keep reading about that shows toddlers aren't ready
until they are 2.5-3 years old. It's not Proctor and Gamble is it by any
chance? Or am I too cynical?


I think it differs very much. DD left the diaper at 27 mos, DS somewhat
later. They have both had difficulties (still have at 11 yo and 6 yo) in
always reaching the toilet in time. DS left his night diaper between 5 and
6. It would have been ridicilous before.

Tine, Denmark


  #8  
Old November 19th 03, 08:03 PM
LisaBell
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Default OT - Potty training - can it be child-led? (xpost)

On 19 Nov 2003 08:37:37 -0800, (Cathy Weeks)
wrote:

My daughter is almost two, and all of a sudden has started asking to
sit on the potty. She prefers to do it fully clothed, and while one
of her parents are sitting on the toilet, but I figured it was time to
start reading up on the topic.


This absolutely sounds like she is going to lead her potty training,
although don't expect it to happen too soon. My youngest did the same
thing at around 22 months, beginning with sitting on the potty clothed
and progressing to removing her diaper and sitting, but producing
nothing in the potty for quite a while.

We just let her be and do what she wanted (which was harder than it
sounds at the stage where she was constantly stripping off and having
accidents on the floor) and one day she managed to pee in the potty,
to her (and our) great excitement, and it was like a light went on.
She was just shy of 30 months and was daytime trained for both pee
and poop from that day on.

So I say yes, child led training can definitely happen and if you're
going that route I don't think you need a book... just let your child
do her own thing and provide the opportunity (available potty which
she may sit on whenever she choses) and support (encourage without
initiating, else it ceases to be led by her). The only book I ever
read on training was the one about "training in less than a day" which
had me bottle feeding peeing dolls and filling DD (my eldest) with
endless cups of juice - all to no avail. She found the doll play
amusing but wasn't interested in reproducing it herself until she was
ready, just before her 3rd birthday.

--Lisabell
Mom to Gabriella (5) and Michaela (3.5)
  #9  
Old November 19th 03, 08:09 PM
Sophie
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Default OT - Potty training - can it be child-led? (xpost)

My 2 potty trained when they were ready - at just before 3 and just after 3.

Both showed interest at various ages before then, but never for long. You
could say Lewis is interested now. He loves to flush

The idea of trying to potty train Lewis now is just well, nuts really.

Good luck if you think Kivi is ready and keep us updated.

Sophie
#4 due 7/18/04



  #10  
Old November 19th 03, 09:57 PM
Welches
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Default OT - Potty training - can it be child-led? (xpost)


Cathy Weeks wrote in message
om...
Hi all,
My daughter is almost two, and all of a sudden has started asking to
sit on the potty. She prefers to do it fully clothed, and while one
of her parents are sitting on the toilet, but I figured it was time to
start reading up on the topic.

I don't think it's too early. Dd#1 asked for the potty and I followed her.
She was trained in about a week at 21 months. Would have been quicker I
think if I hadn't gone out on the second day and put her in pull-ups.
She had been asking for the potty for 2-3 months before I thought I'd give
training a try, because she had older friends who used it.
Debbie


 




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