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  #11  
Old December 2nd 03, 08:26 AM
CME
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Default Dr. Phil


'Kate wrote in message news
On Mon, 01 Dec 2003 22:50:48 GMT, "CME"

'Kate wrote in message

...
On 1 Dec 2003 06:42:46 -0800, (Vickychick)
I saw a Dr. Phil the other night. It was a mother they revisited who
has been in therapy. Her own daughter called her a monster, due to her
horrible parenting style. But there was hope and she found it. It was
amazing to see mom taking time out for herself. I think doing too much
makes mothers more prone to fussiness and breakdowns. Any thoughts?
Vicky
(who takes time outs when "I" am angry.)

Mothers are judged to a different standard than fathers. Because we
expect less from fathers, even the word "fathering" means fewer things,
fewer expectations than the word "mothering", then mothers will feel as
if there aren't enough hours in the day. Until the responsibilities of
the roles are truly equal with respect to responsibilities (income,
childcare, and housework), then mothers will continue to forego taking
time out for themselves. Fathers seem to be more able to do this. They
take the time that they need and then give to others. Perhaps it's
because of the way that we think of fathers. Their traditional role is
as income producer whereas mothers have traditionally taken care of
everything else regarding home and family. I can only theorize that

the
idea of motherhood and fatherhood must change to catch up to the
economic changes in the operation of the family.

'Kate


I'm with you on this one Kate. I found that living with someone else
created more problems than helped ease them. I found I was doing even

more
work, whereas that other person could have helped out more. I think when
it's just me, I have only myself to count on, and when I was living with
someone else, their expectations weren't in line with mine (clean house,
laundry done, the basics really). *sigh* I want to be in a relationship
where it's based on equality. I find that typically, even though I was
working or going to school full-time that *I* was still responsible for

the
household duties and let me tell you, that didn't fly for very long. lol

Christine


I know what you mean. That was typical of my marriage. When I worked, I
still had the same household and childcare responsibilities. I don't
remember getting more than 4-5 hours of sleep per night because my day
ended somewhere around midnight and started at 5 am. Weekends were
spent doing the major cleaning, cooking for part of the week, and the
general laundry (towels and sheets). It was awful.

I think that men, in general, have changed from generation to
generation. I hear different attitudes from the younger men. Many of
them were raised in single-mother households and know how to take care
of more than their older, more traditional counterparts.

There are, of course, exceptional men and women who shared duties from
the start or have adopted non-traditional roles by choice.

'Kate


Yeah and where can I meet them??? lol

Christine


  #12  
Old December 2nd 03, 09:57 AM
kat
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Default Dr. Phil


"CME" wrote in message
news:[email protected]

'Kate wrote in message

news
On Mon, 01 Dec 2003 22:50:48 GMT, "CME"

'Kate wrote in message

...
On 1 Dec 2003 06:42:46 -0800, (Vickychick)
I saw a Dr. Phil the other night. It was a mother they revisited who
has been in therapy. Her own daughter called her a monster, due to

her
horrible parenting style. But there was hope and she found it. It

was
amazing to see mom taking time out for herself. I think doing too

much
makes mothers more prone to fussiness and breakdowns. Any thoughts?
Vicky
(who takes time outs when "I" am angry.)

Mothers are judged to a different standard than fathers. Because we
expect less from fathers, even the word "fathering" means fewer

things,
fewer expectations than the word "mothering", then mothers will feel

as
if there aren't enough hours in the day. Until the responsibilities

of
the roles are truly equal with respect to responsibilities (income,
childcare, and housework), then mothers will continue to forego

taking
time out for themselves. Fathers seem to be more able to do this.

They
take the time that they need and then give to others. Perhaps it's
because of the way that we think of fathers. Their traditional role

is
as income producer whereas mothers have traditionally taken care of
everything else regarding home and family. I can only theorize that

the
idea of motherhood and fatherhood must change to catch up to the
economic changes in the operation of the family.

'Kate


I'm with you on this one Kate. I found that living with someone else
created more problems than helped ease them. I found I was doing even

more
work, whereas that other person could have helped out more. I think

when
it's just me, I have only myself to count on, and when I was living

with
someone else, their expectations weren't in line with mine (clean

house,
laundry done, the basics really). *sigh* I want to be in a relationship
where it's based on equality. I find that typically, even though I was
working or going to school full-time that *I* was still responsible for

the
household duties and let me tell you, that didn't fly for very long.

lol

Christine


I know what you mean. That was typical of my marriage. When I worked, I
still had the same household and childcare responsibilities. I don't
remember getting more than 4-5 hours of sleep per night because my day
ended somewhere around midnight and started at 5 am. Weekends were
spent doing the major cleaning, cooking for part of the week, and the
general laundry (towels and sheets). It was awful.

I think that men, in general, have changed from generation to
generation. I hear different attitudes from the younger men. Many of
them were raised in single-mother households and know how to take care
of more than their older, more traditional counterparts.

There are, of course, exceptional men and women who shared duties from
the start or have adopted non-traditional roles by choice.

'Kate


Yeah and where can I meet them??? lol

Christine



I found one, although we're on the rocks, somewhat...
He's the one bitching about laundry getting backed up, or washed and folded
and left in baskets outside rooms, beside closets or dressers or on the
couch (and yes, I do realize it's not hard to put it all away) and it's him
I hardly ever see without a vacuum in his hand, although I do go overboard
with washing the floors... He's the one who finally gives up and does the
dishes in the sink, as I don't see any point in washed 3 glasses, a spoon
and a plate when you can save it all til the end of the day and do a bit
more to make it worthwhile...


  #13  
Old December 2nd 03, 11:55 AM
Andrew
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Posts: n/a
Default Dr. Phil


"Tiffany" wrote in message
...


the man is more
likely to take time for himself then the women.



moms tend to think the family will cease to
exist without them there to control it?

T



Ahhh marriage, the coming together of a male idle b*stard and a female
egotistical maniac. Sheer bliss.
;-) LOL

(its humor, so any and all attacks will be completely ignored)

Andrew


  #14  
Old December 2nd 03, 11:59 AM
Andrew
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Posts: n/a
Default Dr. Phil


"HanK" wrote in message
...
as well.I have scheduled a recharge for Dec 12th and I am going to a
function with some people I used to work with on a large project five or

six
years ago. Intend to seriously let loose,


Have it large. Screw some bint. get over the hang over and subsequent
remorse, eat some carbs and do it all again next week!


re carbs
Reminder to self. I can eat a greasy, chilli doner kebab at one in the
morning if I want. I have missed them!

Andrew


  #15  
Old December 2nd 03, 01:07 PM
Tiffany
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Posts: n/a
Default Dr. Phil


Andrew wrote in message
...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...


the man is more
likely to take time for himself then the women.



moms tend to think the family will cease to
exist without them there to control it?

T



Ahhh marriage, the coming together of a male idle b*stard and a female
egotistical maniac. Sheer bliss.
;-) LOL

(its humor, so any and all attacks will be completely ignored)

Andrew



You say its humor but I think you know its true. lol... just kidding also.


T


  #16  
Old December 2nd 03, 01:50 PM
Joelle
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Posts: n/a
Default Dr. Phil

There are, of course, exceptional men and women who shared duties from
the start or have adopted non-traditional roles by choice.

'Kate


Yeah and where can I meet them??? lol


My husband did more housecleaning than me.

He was older - 35 and had to live on his own and clean his own house. I think
that makes a difference.

Being somone that doesn't care if the bathtub gets disinfected every day or
even every week, I think Paul has a point about how a lot of women have higher
standards about housekeeping than men. So they don't give men credit for what
they do, or they complain and criticize what they do and so they don't do it.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle
  #17  
Old December 2nd 03, 01:50 PM
Tiffany
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Posts: n/a
Default Dr. Phil


Joelle wrote in message
...
There are, of course, exceptional men and women who shared duties from
the start or have adopted non-traditional roles by choice.

'Kate


Yeah and where can I meet them??? lol


My husband did more housecleaning than me.

He was older - 35 and had to live on his own and clean his own house. I

think
that makes a difference.

Being somone that doesn't care if the bathtub gets disinfected every day

or
even every week, I think Paul has a point about how a lot of women have

higher
standards about housekeeping than men. So they don't give men credit for

what
they do, or they complain and criticize what they do and so they don't do

it.

Joelle



That is very true. So many of my friends complain about how the husband
can't clean right or do laundry right. If someone else is cleaning, how can
it be wrong? lol


  #18  
Old December 2nd 03, 06:32 PM
CME
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Dr. Phil


"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

Joelle wrote in message
...
There are, of course, exceptional men and women who shared duties from
the start or have adopted non-traditional roles by choice.

'Kate

Yeah and where can I meet them??? lol


My husband did more housecleaning than me.

He was older - 35 and had to live on his own and clean his own house. I

think
that makes a difference.

Being somone that doesn't care if the bathtub gets disinfected every day

or
even every week, I think Paul has a point about how a lot of women have

higher
standards about housekeeping than men. So they don't give men credit

for
what
they do, or they complain and criticize what they do and so they don't

do
it.

Joelle



That is very true. So many of my friends complain about how the husband
can't clean right or do laundry right. If someone else is cleaning, how

can
it be wrong? lol


EXACTLY! I mean hey, if he was contributing, why bitch? I remember I
*used* to be alittle anal when it came to things, but after having kids oh
boy have my standards relaxed. If I have dishes in the sink, who cares...
if the laundry's pilled up over the week, oh well... I just like things to
be somewhat tidy, so I draw the line at garbage strewn around the house, or
if food is left out... basic housekeeping standards.

Christine


  #19  
Old December 2nd 03, 06:34 PM
CME
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Dr. Phil


"Andrew" wrote in message
...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...


the man is more
likely to take time for himself then the women.



moms tend to think the family will cease to
exist without them there to control it?

T



Ahhh marriage, the coming together of a male idle b*stard and a female
egotistical maniac. Sheer bliss.
;-) LOL

(its humor, so any and all attacks will be completely ignored)

Andrew


Hey... that's Ms. Ego Maniac to you.

Christine


  #20  
Old December 2nd 03, 07:45 PM
HanK
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Dr. Phil


"CME"

Its funny I was thinking of you lot last Saturday night when some bint was
trying to remove my tonsels whilst telling me how much she loved her husband
and kids. women are like female spiders. Still another enemy diffused

HanK


 




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