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On Sat, 02 Apr 2005 00:39:07 +0800, Rambler
"'Kate" wrote in message
All this because I agreed that being called a deadbeat dad was a
problem and that the media created the problem by perpetuating the
stereotype. Evidently, he feels that I'm responsible for the term.
That wasn't rational. If I had received a rational argument in
response (more than the one time), it might have been an interesting
thread. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. It degenerated at a rapid
He is just looking for a reason to **** and moan.
Fooey on him.
Let's get back to better things ......
Lol ... and it seems that you are just looking for an excuse to continue
to trip the night fantastic. Reality must suck for you ... clashing as
it does with anything that you think, see, say or do. Must be really
convenient to be able to dismiss anything that contradicts you as
'****ing and moaning.' A simple explanation for a simple mind.
But Rambler, this is a characteristic of todays femminists! If you
disagree with them, you are dismissed as either insignificant or
If you do not "go away", then you are labeled a misogynist.
Definition of misogynist: Any man who is winning an arguement with a
Warren Farrell makes a distinction in Femminists. There is the
"Mature" feminist that seeks true equality and balance between men and
women (very uncomon), and the "Immature" femminist - generally wanting
superiority for women, and who are quite happy to man-bash (all too
What I have seen in this thread was no surprize. That is why I simply
"refused to play". You cannot "win" an arguement with such people.
When other parties to a conversation are not willing to consider other
points of view, and simply shut out other possibilities, then you
can't even approach concensus, or anything meaningful. So the
discussion reverts into a childlike state where nothing is
I have met a number of "femminists", and I must say that most fo them
have a very deep hatered in them. The hate is commonly directed at
men. I have NOT been able to determine why this hatered exists, but it
seems to me that men are being used as scape goats for the hate. I
think most of them foolish because if men disappeared tomorrow, their
hate would still be there! By bashing men, they damage much and solve
nothing. The actions of subverting and oppressing men are simply used
as a quick fix. It feels good at the time, but it does not last long,
and it solves nothing.
Don't sweat it bro! Let'em have their "fun". They don't have a clue,
and we are not going to change that - at least not today. They make
their own beds, and will have to lay in them - more than likely ALONE.
The sad thing is that this just fuels the anger that they feel towards
men! which just makes the situation worse.
Amusing. Now I can see why people come out against women. Were the two
of you my experience with women, I would certainly understand how men
would want nothing to do with them. Thank goodness my experience has
been with the intelligent variety.
Continue ****ing and moaning. You cheapen all women in that way.
Interesting ... the very first girl I had a crush on was a V ... Verity
in fact. Shudder to think that you all are one and the same.
Very nice information to have. Do you have a link to these stats?
"Rambler" wrote in message
"Rambler" wrote in message
Father of the Year wrote:
new to group. What is a deadbeat dad?
it is usually somebody who has been flailed to a ninch of their life by
being accused of being insensitive to their child's needs while in fact
they are struggling to put food on the table for themselves whilest
commanded to make good sized (for their incomes) support payments.
No, not always. That sure might be the case sometimes, but other times
deadbeat parent could be just that. Sometimes a deadbeat parent just
doesn't feel they need to live up to their parenting responsibilities.
That's not always meaning money wise. I would consider a deadbeat
someone who just does nothing. I'm sorry, it doesn't take much money to
spend some time with your own child and show them love and that they
fact, a human being. There's a lot of 'parents' - both mothers AND
fathers - who just don't give a damn. It goes both ways, but it seems
you just hear about the dads more than the moms. There's selfish
both ways, and it's not fair to say that every parent who cannot afford
support their children is a deadbeat. It does go so much further than
because there's also lots of parents who choose not to help with their
children and have more than enough means to survive well, while helping
financially with their children.
Support payments are only a part of a child's needs.
I typically refer to it as "Beat Dad Dead" in my affidavits, and yes,
ex has thrown that term around to everybody, kids included.
I don't agree with that. I, personally, believe whatever I think and
negatively about my ex stays to myself, or to the ears of MY
without the ears of my children around. I have never once said a single
negative word about my sons' father for them to hear, nor have I ever
anything negative to someone who would pass my words on to them. There
a lot of parents, as well, who do the same, and then on the other hand,
there are some who have no problem insulting their child's other parent
vocalize whatever anger they may have. I do believe, in every way
that this is so wrong and unfair to the child, even more to the other
of that child.
Always two sides to a coin. My ex would evidently be the opposite side
of the coin to you.
but leaving you and me out of it, the studies that I have heard of and
read indicate that a very small minority of fathers don't pay the child
support ordered when they fully have the means to. The vast majority of
no-payors are those that cannot afford it due to either unemployment,
health or an order being set outside of their earning potential. Those
that pay what they can *are still* labeled deadbeat dads.
Flip that around a second, not according to you and me, but according
again to the studies I have read and heard of. The vast majority (89%?)
of custody decisions go to mothers, which means the vast majority (89%)
of child maintenance payors are fathers. Out of the 11% of mothers who
are supposed to be paying child support, a much greater number (over 30%
comes to mind) are "dead beat Mom's" than are the fathers (1 to 2%) who
are "dead beat Dads," yet you don't hear the phrase "Dead Beat Mom" do
But those are just the studies.
"Oh, and if I recall correctly, aren't the majority of voters women?"
True or not, these oppressed fathers have mothers,sisters, girlfriends, and
grandmothers and friends witnessing these attrocities and VOTING. Remind
your politicians that pander to the fems of this little fact.
"Rambler" wrote in message
Given that the greatest number of non-payers (by a wide margin) are
fathers, why go after the mother?
This is a serious comment, yes? The reason why the greatest numbers of
non-payers, on a strictly numerical basis, are fathers *is because* the
greatest number of *all* payers, by a whopping margin are men. Take one
percent of a billion and you are going to come up with a larger number
than 50% of a thousand.
Now, switch those figures around, and all of a sudden, where custody
situations and child maintenance equal, you'd have, statistically
speaking, a population of 500 million non-payers as opposed to the
100,000 that you have now. The *reason* for this is that it has been my
personal experience that women are treated far more gently then men are
in this process.
Take a look at child access interference. Were that prosecuted to the
same extent that child maintenance is prosecuted, heck we'd have kids
growing up without parents, because both Mom and Dad would be in jail.
But aside from that, mothers are
listed in the non-payers listings when they are on websites and in the
papers in many areas. If I were a NCF, I would be fighting the media
to get rid of the term. Most of the people working in media who are
in positions of power are men. Start writing them and telling them
that you will refuse to buy their sponsor's products if they continue
to malign NCF's.
Been there, doing that. The term is perhaps widespread by the media,
but it is consistently placed forward by advocate groups to keep the
terms in front of people. Take the term 'lesbianism.' Absolutely great
pr work on the group that advocated that. On the one hand, you've got
'gays' which are maligned because they are male homosexuals. On the
other you've got 'lesbians,' who in reality are merely female gays, but
the perception is much different, because their pr machine was better.
Take the Dead Beat Dad 'concept.' Again, a better pr machine. And it's
not the media. The system is continually reinforced through domestic
violence issues, child support issues. Oh, and if I recall correctly,
aren't the majority of voters women?
it is a gender thing only because a small part of one gender has made it
a gender thing. One can either evolve back to the centre which takes
time and pain, or revolt back to the centre. That's why you get people
making it into a *huge* gender thing, to push it back to the centre.
The problem with that is that a 'revolution' has an amazing tendancy of
pushing too far in the opposite direction.
Just my two kopeks worth.
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