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#61
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Etiquette Question - wedding invites
Anne Rogers wrote: If it's genuinenly not at all practical for whatever reason to leave the peanut with a sitter for four hours, then a simple one line response to the invitation is all that's warranted; something along the lines of "It is with sincerest regret that I am unable to attend your wedding celebration" and make sure to follow up with a card or a gift card/present from off their registry. is that etiquette in the US? I don't think it is here, at least not for friends, family maybe, the usual thing is for them to send a card for the best man to read out during the speeches and again that would be only a small number of people, I think we had 4. This wedding we didn't go they had a list from a well-known department store where they actually wrap it and deliver it to the couple without you ever seeing it. We did send a card on later. I find that idea of the guests not even wrapping and bringing their own presents really clinical myself, but each to their own. Jeni |
#62
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Etiquette Question - wedding invites
This wedding we didn't go they had a list from a well-known department
store where they actually wrap it and deliver it to the couple without you ever seeing it. We did send a card on later. I find that idea of the guests not even wrapping and bringing their own presents really clinical myself, but each to their own. me too, I've only done it once, other times, I've tried to do something a little different! Anne |
#63
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Etiquette Question - wedding invites
wrote in message
This wedding we didn't go they had a list from a well-known department store where they actually wrap it and deliver it to the couple without you ever seeing it. We did send a card on later. I find that idea of the guests not even wrapping and bringing their own presents really clinical myself, but each to their own. According to the etiquette books, you are not supposed to bring your present to the wedding. You are supposed to have it shipped to the couple's house or bride's mother's house that way the bride and groom don't have to worry about transporting the gifts. When you are at the reception, you give cards to the best man or parents, but not to the couple directly. You may find it cynical, but it's the proper way to do it, according to the etiquette gurus. -- Sue (mom to three girls) |
#64
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Etiquette Question - wedding invites
Sue wrote: wrote in message This wedding we didn't go they had a list from a well-known department store where they actually wrap it and deliver it to the couple without you ever seeing it. We did send a card on later. I find that idea of the guests not even wrapping and bringing their own presents really clinical myself, but each to their own. According to the etiquette books, you are not supposed to bring your present to the wedding. You are supposed to have it shipped to the couple's house or bride's mother's house that way the bride and groom don't have to worry about transporting the gifts. When you are at the reception, you give cards to the best man or parents, but not to the couple directly. You may find it cynical, but it's the proper way to do it, according to the etiquette gurus. I find it clinical because it's completely not the way it's normally done in the UK. What happens is you turn up with your pressie and card and they all get put on a big table at the reception. I don't know who does it but it's not usually the bride and groom that arranges to have the gifts sent to the house for them to open later. I think what I find most clinical is that the guests don't even get to wrap the presents which to me just seems to be an by-product of wedding lists - a feature which again wouldn't be my choice either. I want romance and celebration, not organisation up to the ying yang.Which is why if I ever got married it would be utter chaos Jeni |
#65
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Etiquette Question - wedding invites
"Anne Rogers" wrote:
If it's genuinenly not at all practical for whatever reason to leave the peanut with a sitter for four hours, then a simple one line response to the invitation is all that's warranted; something along the lines of "It is with sincerest regret that I am unable to attend your wedding celebration" and make sure to follow up with a card or a gift card/present from off their registry. is that etiquette in the US? I don't think it is here, at least not for friends, family maybe, the usual thing is for them to send a card for the best man to read out during the speeches and again that would be only a small number of people, I think we had 4. What's not good etiquette in the UK? Responding to an invitation? I don't get it. People who don't come to the wedding send a card to be read at the reception? I've never heard of that. Shouldn't you let them know in advance? As to gifts, anyone who is invited to a wedding should send a gift to the couple. You should not take gifts to the wedding anyway, although many people do. -Patty, mom of 1+2 |
#66
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Etiquette Question - wedding invites
I can't imagine ending friendships because
they don't have kids, nor did we skip out on our single friends when we got married. I'm not responding to anyone in particular here, but I have an observation.... I believe the OP of this sub-thread said that she wouldn't stay close to friends who did not *like* children, not those who did not *have* children. I have friends without children, but I don't think I know anyone who doesn't like children. If I did, I wonder if we could have a friendship? Being a mom is a huge part of my identity, and I don't know if we could relate to each other. -Patty, mom of 1+2 |
#67
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Etiquette Question - wedding invites
PattyMomVA wrote: I can't imagine ending friendships because they don't have kids, nor did we skip out on our single friends when we got married. I'm not responding to anyone in particular here, but I have an observation.... I believe the OP of this sub-thread said that she wouldn't stay close to friends who did not *like* children, not those who did not *have* children. I have friends without children, but I don't think I know anyone who doesn't like children. If I did, I wonder if we could have a friendship? Being a mom is a huge part of my identity, and I don't know if we could relate to each other. My dp's sister doesn't like children but she is very fond of William and is one of his 4 non-god parents. She is always interested in how he is getting on and is really pleased when he grins at her lamby noises. We always got on really well and whilst at first I was quite miffed that she wasn't as keen to coo over William when he was born as everyone else was, it hasn't affected our friendship in the least. We were friends for 8 years before he was born so I couldn't imagine chucking that away because she doesn't like children. If she made it a problem then it might be different but we are both adult enough to accept we have made different choices in life and to respect each others feeling on kids. Jeni |
#68
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Etiquette Question - wedding invites
PattyMomVA wrote: I can't imagine ending friendships because they don't have kids, nor did we skip out on our single friends when we got married. I'm not responding to anyone in particular here, but I have an observation.... I believe the OP of this sub-thread said that she wouldn't stay close to friends who did not *like* children, not those who did not *have* children. I have friends without children, but I don't think I know anyone who doesn't like children. If I did, I wonder if we could have a friendship? Being a mom is a huge part of my identity, and I don't know if we could relate to each other. I have friends who don't like children. Some people just don't have that instinct. It's ok if they don't go gaga over our kid, they're friends for reasons other than the kid. |
#69
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Etiquette Question - wedding invites
) writes:
I don't know how to say this politely (to those who invited you), but I certainly agree with you. Simply tell them that your are nursing, you can't leave your baby for long, and if he is not welcome, you cannot come. end of story. I agree with the other poster who says you must express genuine regret: let them know that you really want to come to the wedding and are really sorry to have to say no. Just "I'm sorry" is often said lightly, so you need to use more words than that to get across the degree of regret. |
#70
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Etiquette Question - wedding invites
Sue wrote: wrote in message This wedding we didn't go they had a list from a well-known department store where they actually wrap it and deliver it to the couple without you ever seeing it. We did send a card on later. I find that idea of the guests not even wrapping and bringing their own presents really clinical myself, but each to their own. According to the etiquette books, you are not supposed to bring your present to the wedding. You are supposed to have it shipped to the couple's house or bride's mother's house that way the bride and groom don't have to worry about transporting the gifts. When you are at the reception, you give cards to the best man or parents, but not to the couple directly. You may find it cynical, but it's the proper way to do it, according to the etiquette gurus. Though proper etiquette in the US, what's customary varies by region, and I suspect the same is true in the UK. The weddings I've been involved with in the UK (and in Ireland followed a similar procedure) - gifts were *not* brought to the wedding itself, but mailed to the couple directly. Or cards with cash were given to the best man, very similar to standard US etiquette. However most of the US weddings I've been to have had gift tables because people bring their gifts to the wedding. The gift list idea seems to be relatively recent in the UK, whereas it has been the norm for awhile now in the US. FWIW - at our Swiss wedding, most people brought gifts to the wedding. But I have no idea if that's standard behaviour. It was a very casual wedding. |
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