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#1
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what age for sleepovers?
At what age did you feel OK letting your kids go on sleepovers at the
houses of their friends (as opposed to the houses of your friends or of family)? I know all my kids' friends parents to talk to, and I have a good feeling about them -- I think they're nice, decent human beings who have approximately the same standards I do about really crucial parenting issues, like safety. But my feelings are not enough for my husband (who really doesn't know them, as he is working while I do pickups and dropoffs etc.). He isn't comfortable with either our 8 YO or our 5 YO, but especially the latter, going on sleepovers with anyone who isn't an old old friend of ours or a family member. His concerns are abuse and lack of safety/supervision. Thanks! |
#2
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what age for sleepovers?
In article , Nevermind wrote:
At what age did you feel OK letting your kids go on sleepovers at the houses of their friends (as opposed to the houses of your friends or of family)? My son's first sleepover was around age 5 1/2. He hasn't had many in the two years since then (his best friend moved 1000 miles away), but we'd have no problem if he requested one. I don't think he'd want to spend the night with any of his friends that we'd worry about---he has good judgement about who to play with and who to be close friends with. -- Kevin Karplus http://www.soe.ucsc.edu/~karplus life member (LAB, Adventure Cycling, American Youth Hostels) Effective Cycling Instructor #218-ck (lapsed) Professor of Computer Engineering, University of California, Santa Cruz Undergraduate and Graduate Director, Bioinformatics Affiliations for identification only. |
#3
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what age for sleepovers?
Kevin Karplus wrote:
In article , Nevermind wrote: At what age did you feel OK letting your kids go on sleepovers at the houses of their friends (as opposed to the houses of your friends or of family)? My son's first sleepover was around age 5 1/2. He hasn't had many in the two years since then (his best friend moved 1000 miles away), but we'd have no problem if he requested one. I don't think he'd want to spend the night with any of his friends that we'd worry about---he has good judgement about who to play with and who to be close friends with. DD started sleepovers with a great friend at age 3 or so -- when they were both potty trained. She's been on them periodically since. DS has never been on a sleepover. He didn't have a great friend pre-kindergarten, and now the friends he has aren't likely to want to do sleepovers. We'd let him go, however, if he wanted to. So this does vary with the kid. My big problem with DD going on sleepovers is her wretched behavior the next day induced by sleep deprivation. In her case, they are sleepovers in name only, and should really be called stayovers. scott DD 10 and DS 7 |
#4
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what age for sleepovers?
"Nevermind" wrote in message om... At what age did you feel OK letting your kids go on sleepovers at the houses of their friends (as opposed to the houses of your friends or of family)? We started letting DS sleep over at age 5. But, we only let him sleep over in the homes of families we know very well and had no concerns about supervision, parenting and judgment in general. We have hosted several sleep over for several of his friends, including the famous seventh birthday party sleep over where we had *five* little boys lined up like cord wood in sleeping bags on his bedroom floor. We have not, however, run into a situation where someone whom we do not know well is inviting him over. We have also learned, based on the responses of the parents of those we invite, that different children are ready to sleep away from family at different ages, based on everything from bladder maturity to ability to comfortably separate from the parental units for long periods of time while it is dark outside. This is very individual and patience is best applied. -Aula --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.502 / Virus Database: 300 - Release Date: 7/18/03 |
#5
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what age for sleepovers?
Nevermind wrote:
At what age did you feel OK letting your kids go on sleepovers at the houses of their friends (as opposed to the houses of your friends or of family)? I know all my kids' friends parents to talk to, and I have a good feeling about them -- I think they're nice, decent human beings who have approximately the same standards I do about really crucial parenting issues, like safety. But my feelings are not enough for my husband (who really doesn't know them, as he is working while I do pickups and dropoffs etc.). He isn't comfortable with either our 8 YO or our 5 YO, but especially the latter, going on sleepovers with anyone who isn't an old old friend of ours or a family member. His concerns are abuse and lack of safety/supervision. Thanks! DD went to a friend's house for a sleepover when she was about 3 years old. I knew the parents very well - our daughters had a standing weely playdate. DD, now 5, loves sleepovers, but they're pretty rare and they involve only one friend at a time. Usually by the time the kids want a sleepover, we know and like the parents. If we don't particularly like the parents or child, we strongly discourage the idea of a sleepover. Jeanne |
#6
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what age for sleepovers?
Nevermind wrote:
At what age did you feel OK letting your kids go on sleepovers at the houses of their friends (as opposed to the houses of your friends or of family)? My oldest was 7 the first time she slept away. It was with a long standing friend, and we knew the parents well, so we were very comfortable. Well, as comfortable as I can be with one of my babies out of my reach. My youngest was invited to two slumber parties when she was in kindergarten. We had never met either set of parents and they weren't special friends (I think they invited all the girls in the class), so she didn't go. She's gone on a couple of sleepovers since, with close friends where we know the parents. Lesley |
#7
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what age for sleepovers?
What do you mean by "know" here -- you see them when picking the kids
up, have a little chat, see them at the pool occasionally? When my DD was about 5 1/2, she was allowed to sleep over at houses that I had personally spent time in-- where I knew the parents well enough to have been to dinner at their place.. that sort of thing. It meant that I had spent enough time with them that I knew basically how they felt about discipline, that the house seemed safe, etc. I felt that sleepovers and slumber parties where the parents were only aquaintances of mine were more appropriate at about 8yrs old-- 3rd grade. IMHO 5yr olds don't need to sleep at friend's houses (unless it's more of a babysitting issue.) Sleepovers at Grandma's are more appropriate. - Blanche |
#8
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what age for sleepovers?
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#9
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what age for sleepovers?
In article ,
dragonlady wrote: It isn't so much that I was afraid that the people could be dangerous to my kids; it was more a question of what level of supervision was considered appropriate, and what kind of judgement the parents have, and I think that is easier to ascertain if you spend some time in each other's homes. For example, in one home that I declined to allow my daughter to spend the night, while I was there the kids were invited to watch an HBO movie that I considered entirely inappropriate for a 5 year old, and when I questioned it the mother laughed and said her kids watched things like that "all the time". How did you handle that situation? I'd have a hard time telling a parent that I didn't think her home was a suitable environment for my child. I guess I'm lucky that my kids have not yet been invited for sleepovers at homes where I would be uncomfortable allowing them to stay over. Frankly, though, I think 95% of the same issues apply equally to playdates as to sleepovers. Any time you let a child spend time in someone else's supervision, whether overnight or not, you need to trust those people's judgement... --Robyn |
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