You're Not My Dad!

"toypup" wrote in message
t...
I was thinking of having DS take a safety course, but I'm pretty sure
they'll teach this phrase. I just don't think it is a very good
recommendation. When I'm in a panic, I lose my voice. It's hard to even
come up with a sound, much less an entire sentence. I propose that the
recommendation be "Help!" It's so simple. I wonder why that wasn't the
recommended phrase to begin with. If there was anything that would come
naturally for a child to scream, it would be that.

Now, I understand the reason for, "Your're not my dad!" A child who is
being dragged screaming out of a store may look like s/he's throwing a
tantrum. But "help!" would work much better. I've yet to see a
tantruming child yell "Help!" It would definitely get my attention and I
would know something is wrong.

Coupled with my observations, I've yet to hear a story of a child saving
him/herself by yelling, "He's not my dad!" I have, however, heard of
children saving themselves by yelling "Help!" In fact, one story that
stands out in my mind, the child was being hauled from the bathroom out of
the store when he yelled, "Help!" and a woman who was part of the rescue
said she knew he was being abducted, because a child doesn't normally yell
"Help!" when it's his own parent.

So, what do you all think?
I was thinking about this last night when there was an incident outside our
house.
I could hear a (guess) teenage girl screaming something along the lines of
"get off". Actually this sort of thing (particularly Friday/Saturday) is
reasonably common, and when you look out it's something like a group of
"youth" messing around-obviously friendly. I looked out of the window and
could see a group behind the bus stop, but couldn't see what they were
doing. As there was still screaming going on (saying the same thing) I
reached for the phone to call 999, but then someone came round got into a
car and drove off, and the screaming stopped.
On the basis that all then looked calm I didn't phone, but judging from the
police presence half an hour later, something had happened.
I was trying to work out what would have got my attention enough to get me
immediately phoning for the police. "Help" certainly wouldn't have-I guess I
hear that frequently enough not to react. Nor would just the cry of "police"
as again, the teenagers that hang out round there use that frequently.
"He's got a knife" was the most likely for me to react I decided, although
that may be because I've been in a situation where that was used for real.
"Someone get the police" would get more reaction from me than just "police"
I think.
Certainly what the person was screaming was ambiguous enough to be put with
just fooling around.
So really you need to find something that an adult would react to quickly.
Part of the problem with "get off" was it didn't sound important enough to
phone the police without seeing what was happening.
Debbie

"Clisby" wrote in message
nk.net...


Stephanie wrote:
"toypup" wrote in message
t...

I was thinking of having DS take a safety course, but I'm pretty sure
they'll teach this phrase. I just don't think it is a very good
recommendation. When I'm in a panic, I lose my voice. It's hard to even
come up with a sound, much less an entire sentence. I propose that the
recommendation be "Help!" It's so simple. I wonder why that wasn't the
recommended phrase to begin with. If there was anything that would come
naturally for a child to scream, it would be that.




If it were me, I wonder if I wouldn't teach my child to yell "Fire!" I
remember reading somewhere that if a woman is being raped and needs help
that is what she should yell, since no one is afraid to intervene ... say
call the fire department, where for some reason people won't intervene in
a rape. The same thing seems to apply to children in staged (which is the
only ones I have seen) abductions.



But I think that was for the case where you heard someone screaming, but
couldn't actually see what was happening. I'm picturing being in a public
place, and seeing an adult hauling away a child, who is screaming, "Fire!"
I can see there's no fire, so I'm certainly not going to call the fire
department. I'm not sure it would occur to me to think, "Abduction!" as
opposed to "Brat!"

True.

"Welches" wrote in message
...
On the basis that all then looked calm I didn't phone, but judging from
the police presence half an hour later, something had happened.
I was trying to work out what would have got my attention enough to get me
immediately phoning for the police. "Help" certainly wouldn't have-I guess
I hear that frequently enough not to react. Nor would just the cry of
"police" as again, the teenagers that hang out round there use that
frequently.
"He's got a knife" was the most likely for me to react I decided, although
that may be because I've been in a situation where that was used for real.
"Someone get the police" would get more reaction from me than just
"police" I think.
Certainly what the person was screaming was ambiguous enough to be put
with just fooling around.
So really you need to find something that an adult would react to quickly.
Part of the problem with "get off" was it didn't sound important enough to
phone the police without seeing what was happening.
Debbie

I've called for help for people on a number of occasions. Tone of voice
works for me, but I've called when I wasn't sure but it was possibly
serious. Better safe than sorry.

"toypup" wrote in message
m...

"Welches" wrote in message
...
On the basis that all then looked calm I didn't phone, but judging from
the police presence half an hour later, something had happened.
I was trying to work out what would have got my attention enough to get
me immediately phoning for the police. "Help" certainly wouldn't have-I
guess I hear that frequently enough not to react. Nor would just the cry
of "police" as again, the teenagers that hang out round there use that
frequently.
"He's got a knife" was the most likely for me to react I decided,
although that may be because I've been in a situation where that was used
for real. "Someone get the police" would get more reaction from me than
just "police" I think.
Certainly what the person was screaming was ambiguous enough to be put
with just fooling around.
So really you need to find something that an adult would react to
quickly. Part of the problem with "get off" was it didn't sound important
enough to phone the police without seeing what was happening.
Debbie

I've called for help for people on a number of occasions. Tone of voice
works for me, but I've called when I wasn't sure but it was possibly
serious. Better safe than sorry.
Yes, but if I called every time I heard a teenager sreaming by the bus stop
then I'd probably call on average more than once a week. This is the first
time (in 6 years) that I haven't called and it looked like maybe I should
have.
Debbie

Clisby wrote:


Stephanie wrote:

If it were me, I wonder if I wouldn't teach my child to yell "Fire!" I
remember reading somewhere that if a woman is being raped and needs
help that is what she should yell, since no one is afraid to intervene
... say call the fire department, where for some reason people won't
intervene in a rape. The same thing seems to apply to children in
staged (which is the only ones I have seen) abductions.



But I think that was for the case where you heard someone screaming, but
couldn't actually see what was happening. I'm picturing being in a
public place, and seeing an adult hauling away a child, who is
screaming, "Fire!" I can see there's no fire, so I'm certainly not
going to call the fire department. I'm not sure it would occur to me
to think, "Abduction!" as opposed to "Brat!"

Also, how would it help if you did call the fire department? By the
time they arrive, the abductor is going to have dragged the kid away if
that's what they're doing. What you want is something that would get
people to come in and help immediately (and, no, I don't have any
brilliant ideas either!).


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http://www.goodenoughmummy.typepad.com

"That which can be destroyed by the truth, should be" - P. C. Hodgell

"Sarah Vaughan" wrote in message
...
Clisby wrote:


Stephanie wrote:

If it were me, I wonder if I wouldn't teach my child to yell "Fire!" I
remember reading somewhere that if a woman is being raped and needs help
that is what she should yell, since no one is afraid to intervene ...
say call the fire department, where for some reason people won't
intervene in a rape. The same thing seems to apply to children in staged
(which is the only ones I have seen) abductions.



But I think that was for the case where you heard someone screaming, but
couldn't actually see what was happening. I'm picturing being in a
public place, and seeing an adult hauling away a child, who is screaming,
"Fire!" I can see there's no fire, so I'm certainly not going to call
the fire department. I'm not sure it would occur to me to think,
"Abduction!" as opposed to "Brat!"

Also, how would it help if you did call the fire department? By the time
they arrive, the abductor is going to have dragged the kid away if that's
what they're doing. What you want is something that would get people to
come in and help immediately (and, no, I don't have any brilliant ideas
either!).


I guess for some reason having something going on other than what is
expected might trigger an actual thought in the on-looker rather than the
filters through which we apply things? I know it was a wacky thought. Which
is why I used words like wonder and such. In the world I live in, abduction
is such a small risk compared to other things.


--
http://www.goodenoughmummy.typepad.com

"That which can be destroyed by the truth, should be" - P. C. Hodgell