"Just a Taste" of Solids

Gorgon Park wrote:

If your parents and in-laws are willing to feed your child food you
have not approved, what other things will they do with out asking you?
For instance, my parents put my child in a vehicle without a carseat
and drove it. Yes it was only a short distance (not out of the
driveway), but they did it KNOWING that I would not approve and not
allow it, had they asked. And then they wouldn't acknowledge that they
had done anything wrong - I got the whole "you didn't have a carseat
when you were a baby and you are fine" spiel.

So, the food issue is really the first time that grandparents can do
something with the child that the parents might not approve of. I
would think about what precedents are being set.

That's a very good point, and exactly what I'm trying to consider. My
MIL and mother and our relationships are good, and I'm fairly confident
in asking/telling them not to do certain things with DS _when it's in
DS's best interests_. They have fed him these tastes in front of me, and
I'm glad they're comfortable to do so... after all, I'm right there, I'm
the mum, and if I didn't want them to do it it's my responsibility to
ask them not to.

But I also have to realise that he will be in their care at times,
however briefly, and the danger is that I might dilute the _important_
instructions (e.g. no honey, no nuts, rear-facing carseat) with a whole
lot of minor things (e.g. always use a nappy liner, don't sing to him
quite so loudly, don't give him carrot until NEXT week).

Thanks for your thoughts!

...oo00OO LoopyNZ OO00oo..

Sarah Vaughan wrote:

Sorry for the ramble - just got back from a verrrry long busy weekend
away, and my brain probably isn't on full power. ;-)

And yet it's STILL functioning better than 95% of other brains!! Thanks
very much for your thoughts, they sound like they make a lot of sense.

...oo00OO LoopyNZ OO00oo..

My grandmother was irate that I waited over 6 months to start my DD on
solids ("That baby won't ever learn to eat a variety!"). Lily wasn't
interested in solids on her 6 month birthday and I refused to make food
an issue or to do the whole shoving-in-the-mouth thing.

So, when I visited her and had my little container of steamed veggies
that Lily was allowed, my GM was ecstatic... and almost immediately
into dinner, my GM started to plop a big pile of potato salad onto her
tray. Nonchalantly, I caught the pile in my hand before it landed and
tossed it onto an empty plate. The look of shock and the silence that
filled the room was priceless. I felt that the combination of
ingredients had not been 'tested' on her and, given Lily's severe
reactions to dairy and vinegar, I KNEW it was highly likely to be a
problem for her. I delicately explained this and while my GM was very
angry with me in the moment, she got over it after she had time to
think on it.

You know your son better than anyone and you likely have a good idea as
to what he can and cannot tolerate. It is tricky, though, to not break
down relationships or hurt anyone's feelings. Your MIL loves your son,
too and might be offended at the slightest suggestion that you feel you
must protect him from her, or that she would harm him on purpose. For
that reason, I would involve your MIL in the 'what do you think'
conversations... even if you don't take her advice, at least she will
know what's on your mind.

The only thing about the butter is if your son is sensitive to dairy.
My daughter would break out in rash, spit up profusely, and have
indigestion when I ate a minimal amount of dairy. I don't know what
her reaction would be if she had it directly... but, then again, I'm
not in a hurry to find out!



LoopyNZ wrote:
Hi there,

My six-month-old DS has just started solids. I'm just experimenting at
the moment, so he's having a few spoonfuls of sweet potato each day this
week, maybe potato then apple in the weeks to come.

My question is about my parents and in-laws. Now that he's "on solids",
I'm a bit concerned that they're taking it as free reign to give him
tastes of anything and everything. For example MIL gave him a piece of
apple to play with/suck on (he has no teeth) today (which is probably
fine), and she gave him a tiny (tiny!) taste of butter on toast (is this
fine?).

I don't want to be paranoid and over-protective about it or make them
uncomfortable around him, but I do want to know what I should stop them
doing for DS's welfare. Is a _taste_ of anything really something I
should worry about?

Thanks,
..oo00OO LoopyNZ OO00oo..

"LoopyNZ" wrote in message
...
Hi there,

My six-month-old DS has just started solids. I'm just experimenting at the
moment, so he's having a few spoonfuls of sweet potato each day this week,
maybe potato then apple in the weeks to come.

My question is about my parents and in-laws. Now that he's "on solids",
I'm a bit concerned that they're taking it as free reign to give him
tastes of anything and everything. For example MIL gave him a piece of
apple to play with/suck on (he has no teeth) today (which is probably
fine), and she gave him a tiny (tiny!) taste of butter on toast (is this
fine?).

I don't want to be paranoid and over-protective about it or make them
uncomfortable around him, but I do want to know what I should stop them
doing for DS's welfare. Is a _taste_ of anything really something I should
worry about?

Well, since he's six months old now, and being breastfed, the chances of him
developing an allergy are lower as his gut should have closed. That said, I
started my daughter on solids slowly and kept dairy, wheat and peanuts out
of her diet for the majority of her first year at least. My brother had a
dairy intolerance as a child, and a cousin and her daughter are gluten
intolerant so it made sense to me. I also tried to keep her intake of added
sugar and salt and artificial additives to a minimum.

It probably didn't occur to them that you might want to keep certain foods
out of his diet. Perhaps you can casually mention that "DS is only eating
blah & blah at the moment" so that they realise that just because he's
eating it isn't the green light to give him anything they feel like. Things
were likely different in their day, and it was so long ago they probably
need gentle reminders as to what is and isn't appropriate. In my daughter's
two years of life her paternal grandmother has given her small glass
teddybears from christmas crackers, a purse with beads on it that she got
off, and as a baby, a balloon stick to play with. She was dying to give her
solids and 'tastes' of icecream and marshmallows and all manner of things
from a young age. It terrifies me every time she has her for the day. But
anyway, I digress.

If someone goes against my express wishes as a parent, I'm pretty p-ssed
off, as it shows a general lack of respect for my parenting choices, however
irrational they may seem to others. I expect a grandparent will use their
common sense though, and if they made an honest mistake I'm not going to
tear them apart for it.


--
Amy
Mum to Carlos born sleeping 20/11/02,
& Ana born screaming 30/06/04
http://www.freewebs.com/carlos2002/
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/ana%5Fj%5F2004/
My blog: http://spaces.msn.com/members/querer-hijo-querer-hija/

Anne Rogers wrote:
FWIW two babies/toddlers in my area choked to death on chunks of apple
- one given by a mum and one by a nursery. DS will eat big chunks of
banana and will shove a whole rice cake in his face until it dissolves,
but even a small bit of apple makes him gag.

I was thinking the same, but then realised it was you and it was the same
area! One of these incidents happened the very same day we first gave Ada
apple pieces, gave us a bit of a fright, but in the end we decided she had
to learn and we'd have to cut out more than just apple if we wanted to
protect her. I also went on a pediatric first aid course at the next
opportunity.

We thought the same and continued to give him apple, but he's not not
bothered about it and even when we tried again two days ago he coughed
with every piece, so we gave up. He does love the steamed apple they
cook at nursery though, so I might have to relearn how to make apple
pie.

We generally took the approach you did Sarah. We would do the same
again except not give eggs before a year. Ds is allergic to eggs but
because none of the literature warned against giving eggs before a year
so we didn't realise what it was making him sick until a few really
horrible vomiting episodes later.

hmm, I had it pretty clear in my mind that the advice as far as allergens
was concerned was egg yolk 9 months, egg white 12 months, no idea where I
read that and it always amused me the way they separated the two, it seems
to be true in terms of how allergenic they are, but how do you reliable
separate them, particularly as it's the white you want to cut out!

When his egg allergy issue came up I reread all 3 cookbooks and the
Bounty booklet I had and all they said eggs were ok after 7 months as
long as they were well cooked. They did note some babies may have a
reaction but as he was fine after his first taste we didn't realise
for a while they were the problem. He can't even eat a bite of cake
with egg in it. Still, most childrengrow out of it after 5 years at the
most so fingers crossed.

Jeni

But I also have to realise that he will be in their care at times,
however briefly, and the danger is that I might dilute the _important_
instructions (e.g. no honey, no nuts, rear-facing carseat) with a whole
lot of minor things (e.g. always use a nappy liner, don't sing to him
quite so loudly, don't give him carrot until NEXT week).

nappy liners, instead of providing the bits to create the nappy, send them
ready folded with the liner in situ.

car seats, install them yourself in their car, presuming you are using one
fixed in position, or if you are taking it in and out, a gentle, do you
remember how to install the car seat will help remind them.

Anne

wrote:

When his egg allergy issue came up I reread all 3 cookbooks and the
Bounty booklet I had and all they said eggs were ok after 7 months as
long as they were well cooked. They did note some babies may have a
reaction but as he was fine after his first taste we didn't realise
for a while they were the problem. He can't even eat a bite of cake
with egg in it. Still, most childrengrow out of it after 5 years at
the most so fingers crossed.

My son has an egg allergy, too. The reaction never happens with the first
exposure, because that's the one that sensitizes them. He reacted the
second time he had eggs--scrambled eggs in that case. The next time was
when he had some custard that had egg yolk as an ingredient. This happened
when he was a little over a year old. Then we managed to keep him egg free
for a little over two years. This summer, we let him have a dinner roll
which, we only realized later, must have had egg. Like your son, DS vomits
(and vomits and vomits and vomits) when he has egg. And we really have to
watch when other people want to offer him food--like my Dad forgetting and
handing him a cookie, which I had to snatch away.

As you say, there is a very good chance they're grow out of it--so fingers
crossed like you.

To the OP, in my opinion "a taste" is the same as introducing the food, and
I would avoid it until you are ready to do the usual trial run of the
food--three days in a row where you introduce the new food without any other
new ones (though of course you'd discontinue if your baby reacted to a new
food). If your baby does have an allergic reaction, you don't want to have
to guess what was causing it--trust me!

--
Belphoebe

LoopyNZ wrote:
Sarah Vaughan wrote:

Sorry for the ramble - just got back from a verrrry long busy weekend
away, and my brain probably isn't on full power. ;-)

And yet it's STILL functioning better than 95% of other brains!! Thanks
very much for your thoughts, they sound like they make a lot of sense.

Glad they helped - and thank you so much for the lovely comment on my blog!


All the best,

Sarah
--
http://www.goodenoughmummy.typepad.com

"That which can be destroyed by the truth, should be" - P. C. Hodgell