OT - Separation Anxiety?

Any ideas for THAT behavior? He really doesn't want me out of his
sight. Do we just wait for this to pass, or is there a method to this
madness?

KD & G

When my daughter went through this (she'll 11 months now), I just drank
a lot of chamomile tea and allowed her all of the reassurance she
needed. It was really aggravating, to be honest, but for whatever
reason, she needed more reassurance that I wasn't going away.

My suggestion is to be gentle with him and allow him the extra time for
him to know that you aren't going away permanently -- and will never be
too far away. I would always tell Lily, "The thing about mommies is
that we're never too far away!" So, when she would become upset, I'd
always at least make it a point to talk to her -- even if I was in the
other room. I also always tell her what I'm doing so she knows why I'm
leaving the room. "Mommy needs to go put up laundry."

This stage went on for about 2 weeks or so. The result of the
gentleness that I gave was that she plays independently really well.
She'll play for a lot longer than her cousins (one of whom is exactly
the same age as she) whose parents let them CIO.

I did notice that sometimes she was more clingy (if that was possible)
when I got too busy to play with her in a one-on-one setting. When she
was at her clingiest, sometimes me just stopping what I was doing and
sitting with her for 10 minutes playing blocks or dolls would give her
the closeness she was craving and when she was engaged by herself, I
would continue on with housework.

We co-sleep and sometimes, after a long day of clingy behavior, she
would continue to cling to me while going to sleep. It made me realize
that better than any thing I could possibly give her to play with, she
just wanted me.

KD wrote:

Last night he slept from 8:30 p.m. till 1 a.m. That part was good. The
part that wasn't good was when he refused to go back to sleep at that
point. I'd nurse or rock him, he'd fall asleep, put him in the crib
and the eyes would be wide open. Or he'd doze for 10 minutes, just
as I was getting back to sleep he'd be crying again.

After going back and forth between his bed and mine in a sleepwalking
state an unknown number of times, I finally gave in at 3 a.m. and put
him in bed with us. He settled after a short period of fidgeting. I
*think* he turned to me to nurse at least once, but I didn't have to
do anything to facilitate that, he finds it himself.

This was the point at which we gave up on the cot and had a mattress on
the floor of the nursery. When YoungBloke woke up, which was three or
four times a night between 10pm and 6am, I went into his room, lay down
with him and nursed him. If I was still awake when he'd finished I went
back to my own bed. Otherwise, I'd wake up later on and go back to bed
then. It was the only way I could function and be sure that OldBloke got
enough sleep. Not because he was working - we're both employed - but
because he does all the driving and I don't want him falling asleep at
the wheel!

YoungBloke didn't properly sleep through the night till he was almost
two, but because we could co-sleep in his room it was less of a problem
than it might otherwise have been.

Chookie wrote:
In article .com,
" wrote:

It will pass -- he's just figuring out Object Permanence. He really
*isn't* sure that you don't vanish when he can't see you. Just pick
him up and carry him into the room you're going to. Ignoring him will
not shorten (or lengthen) this stage, but IMO it's rather rude and
unkind to ignore a request for help.

Sometimes that just isn't possible. For example, we moved when ds 3
weeks old and the kitchen is just not safe. There are few cupboards,
mostly open shelving and the floor is laid with hard concrete tiles.
The one time we did let ds in there when he was smaller he fell over
and cracked his head. Until we get the kitchen redone next year it just
isn't safe.

Rocker. Bouncy seat. High chair. Playpen. Sling. Or pop him down just on
the other side of the gate.

They used to work when he was the same age as the OP's baby, but at
nearly 17 months he wouldn't tolerate any of those. He does sit the
other side of the gate and as I say, is mostly ok, it's just sometimes
nothing will help.

We do our best to co-ordinate it so one of us is with ds,
and he can see us through the gate to the hall and hatch to the living
room, but sometimes there is no choice but to leave for a little bit.

True, sometimes there isn't, and you've just gotta do what you've just gotta
do. Try to keep the screaming to a minimum, particularly if it is wearing on
your nerves (which, of course, it is meant to do!) -- for your sake, I mean,
not his!

At the moment his crying is morphing into mini-tatrums where he runs
away from you (how did he learn to run from crawling in one month!) or
sits down with his back to you but looking round at you purposefully. I
think his terrible twos are coming early!

You might also want to try talking to him when you are moving out
of his field of vision so that he knows that you are still there.

We do that, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

It will stop soon, I promise!

That's what I keep telling dp since day 1! So far ds is not making a
good case for having a no.2. Well except that he can be super cute when
he wants to be, as can't they all

Jeni