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  #1281  
Old August 6th 04, 09:15 PM
Gini
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Deadbeats

In article outparenting.com,
Pammie1 says...
.......................

Well Teachrmama it's like this. He is ordered to pay $600 a month. I
can't get him to make regular payments. I filed a Civil Contempt against
him and he made a $2600 payment to keep from going to jail or being put on
probation. I am still fighting for the probation. That's the only way I
can be guaranteed payments.


It's not my fault he decided to have so many
kids by so many different women.

=====
The one you have is your fault.
=====

Just to update you he had me and another
girl pregnant at the same time.

=====
He didn't "have" any of you pregnant. "You chose" a loser to father your child
and are now attempting to play the victim of this man, when in fact you are a
victim only of your own bad choices.
=====

Our kids are only 3 months apart. He had
another one like a year and a half later. I just found out that he wants
to take me to court to reduce his support. He never showed up or
responded to any of the child support papers when I first filed against
him. Now he is wanting to beg the court to lower his amount. He need to
get a second job.

=====
How many jobs do you have, Pammie? Perhaps you should go back to school so *you*
can provide better for your child. Many single mothers choose to do that. Tracy
did. So did I.
=====
=====

  #1282  
Old August 6th 04, 11:17 PM
AZ Astrea
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Deadbeats


"Pammie1" southerngirl@The Real Thing wrote in message
lkaboutparenting.com...
I think putting money away for college is a great idea.
Do you not know that child support can be extended an extra 4 years if

the
child decides to go to college? So that's a total of 22 years of child
support.

------------
Not all states have this written into their laws.
-----------
Support money is used for college anyway thank you very much.
-------------
Cs is NOT supposed to be used for college unless and until it is ordered
for
college. Using cs 'for college' when a kid is 10 or whatever is wrong.
And
the biggest wrong about forcing a ncdad to pay for adult children in
college
is that there is nothing similar, (at all), for kids from intact
families.
Why should a kid from a broken family be provided with a college
education
when there is no law requiring intact families to pay for their kids
college
education? A law that not only forces a dad to pay but does so under
threat
of prison!
--------------
-----------
I
think spending $40 at a fun park is better than spending it at a casino

or
trips around the world. Since the dad isn't here to entertain the kid

the
fun park makes up for that.

-------------
Say it as much as you want but that doesn't change the way cs is set up.
So
you see, you are one of those women using cs in ways it is not intended.

~AZ~
-------------

Why are you making a big issue over a CP saving for her kid education?

------------
In reality I couldn't care less about whether your kid ever goes to college
or ends up flipping burgers at McFlys.
----------------
It's no law stating that a CP will be put in jail if she decides to put CS
money away for her kid future.

---------------
No, no one will put the moommy in jail if she doesn't spend the money the
way it's supposed to be spent. They won't even do it if she doesn't spend a
dime on the kid because their is no accountability!
--------------
Regardless it's the kids money now or
later.

--------------
It's supposed to be for the kids expenses now. Even the gov can't see into
the future. Suppose your kid decides not to go to college or dies? How is
that the kids money then?
------------------
So get the thorns out of you butt and get over it.
----------------
Kiss my rumpled, red ass and be damned.
----------------
I don't think
that's misusing the money at all. I am not blowing it on some sorry man,
or the casino.

--------------
Technically is no different than blowing it at the casino.
-------------
The money is going into her saving for her future.
------------
And if she has no future?
-----------
Why are you wanting to deprive a kid from getting a college education just
because they came from a single parent household?

-----------------
I couldn't care less. But the point is that college is not something that
should be ordered by the court, forcing the dad to pay for it. And cs is
not meant to be spent on saving for the future.
-----------------
Wow cares about that.
An education is important period. If a married couple can't put their kid
through college then that's their mismanagement of money.

------------------
It's more like lack of money. Most college kids go to school using
scholarships, student loans and working their way through school. If the
parents are able to help financially great. But for the court to order a
man to pay and if he is unable to, jail him is unfair at the least.
-------------------
I am going to
do it as a single parent. I am not going to let anyone discourage me from
it.

--------------
Great! I'm sure that will make things a lot easier on your kid.
-----------
I don't care where the funds come from.
----------
Of course you don't because it's not your money. You are stealing from your
kid for some possibly unrealisable disant goal. If you want to save money
for the kids future, use your own money.

~AZ~


Pammie1




  #1283  
Old August 7th 04, 01:49 AM
Pammie1
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Deadbeats

Well Teachrmama it's like this. He is ordered to pay $600 a month. I
can't get him to make regular payments. I filed a Civil Contempt

against
him and he made a $2600 payment to keep from going to jail or being put

on
probation. I am still fighting for the probation. That's the only way

I
can be guaranteed payments.


It's not my fault he decided to have so many
kids by so many different women.

=====
The one you have is your fault.
=====

Just to update you he had me and another
girl pregnant at the same time.

=====
He didn't "have" any of you pregnant. "You chose" a loser to father your
child
and are now attempting to play the victim of this man, when in fact you
are a
victim only of your own bad choices.
=====

Our kids are only 3 months apart. He had
another one like a year and a half later. I just found out that he

wants
to take me to court to reduce his support. He never showed up or
responded to any of the child support papers when I first filed against
him. Now he is wanting to beg the court to lower his amount. He need

to
get a second job.

=====
How many jobs do you have, Pammie? Perhaps you should go back to school
so
*you*
can provide better for your child. Many single mothers choose to do that.
Tracy
did. So did I.

-------------------
DUMMY the subject was CHILD SUPPORT not KIDS. It's not my fault that he
has so many (support orders). Do I have to spell everything out for you.
If you would follow the subject matter you would understand my point. I
admit I made some bad choices. I have said this over and over. You just
was not reading all my responses. I did choose a loser. Notice how many
men are loser? I made one mistake I don't plan to make another one. This
is my last time saying this, I am providing for my household. I don't
care if I had a million dollars sitting in my bank account, I would still
file for support. It's both parties responsibility to take care of their
kid. I am doing my part. So you need to get your facts straight. I am
sick and tired of hearing you worthless people in the world protect these
old dead beat dads. In case you didn't know, it's hard being a single
parent. The amount of money that he has to pay does not even begin to
touch the work single moms put into playing the mom and dad role. I am my
own person. I don't go around doing what you and Tracy do. My kid's dad
need to get a second job it's not like his extra time is being spent with
his kid. I have ONE job and I will only have ONE job. Raising a kid on
your own is like having another full time job. I don't feel sorry for any
dead beat. I really don't give a darn how upset you get at hearing that.
If you don't want him to pay then you pay me $600 a month. If you have a
problem with that then shut your mouth. I am enforcing child support not
matter what anyone does or say.

Pammie1


  #1284  
Old August 7th 04, 02:03 AM
Pammie1
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Deadbeats

That's a very unkind thing to say, Pammie. It is not necessarily
mismanagement of money that keep a married couple from putting their kids
through college. Some people are actually living from paycheck to
paycheck
with no way of putting any money aside. These parents are not forced by
the
government to put their kids through college. But a divorced/never
married
dad might be forced to take out loans up the wazoo just to sent his child
to
college and pay on those loans the rest of his life. *That* is the
unfairness AZ is talking about.

Are you saying that, at this point in time, even though you are only
receiving $100 per month from you child's father in CS, you are able to
put
money away for college?

--------------

I thought it was more unfair for AZ so say that my kid shouldn't go to
college just because married people can't send their kid to college. I
didn't write the laws. If they want the dad to help pay for college then I
am all for it. I can't tell them to change their law to give the dad a
break.
It's not my fault that people with 2 incomes can't manage their money. I
have seen how married people live in today's world. Your money is your
money, my money is my money. I see this all the time here. If you live
like that, it's no way you can get ahead. You can't live like roomates.

I do have a saving for my child, but the $100 a month is just going
towards the household. When he starts paying the full amount then I will
start back putting into her savings. You know if I was a mean person I
could modify and raise his amount, but I am being nice. I didn't set the
current amount the court did. He should have had his butt in court to
defend himself. That was his choice not to show. He never even responded
to paternity papers. The court decided that the kid was his because he
didn't respond. Well now that he is over $12,000 behind on my case and
$11,000 behind on his other case he needs to get a second job.

Pammie1

  #1285  
Old August 7th 04, 02:11 AM
Pammie1
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Deadbeats

It might be that the married couple can't afford to put their kids through
college because dad is paying so much CS for earlier born children.
====

Some people are actually living from paycheck to paycheck
with no way of putting any money aside. These parents are not forced by

the
government to put their kids through college.

====
Not even permitted to put money in savings for later born kids--The money
must
go to older ones' mother to spend as she wishes.
====
-----------

That's why I have learned that's you should always do a background check
on anyone. I will not marry anyone or get involved with anyone who has a
lot of support cases against him. I have seen how marriages fall apart
because of so much cs money being paid out by the NCP.

Pammie1

  #1286  
Old August 7th 04, 02:30 AM
Pammie1
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Deadbeats

No, no one will put the moommy in jail if she doesn't spend the money the
way it's supposed to be spent. They won't even do it if she doesn't
spend
a
dime on the kid because their is no accountability!
--------------
Regardless it's the kids money now or
later.

--------------
It's supposed to be for the kids expenses now. Even the gov can't see
into
the future. Suppose your kid decides not to go to college or dies? How
is
that the kids money then?
------------------
So get the thorns out of you butt and get over it.
----------------
Kiss my rumpled, red ass and be damned.
----------------
I don't think
that's misusing the money at all. I am not blowing it on some sorry

man,
or the casino.

--------------
Technically is no different than blowing it at the casino.
-------------
The money is going into her saving for her future.
------------
And if she has no future?
-----------
Why are you wanting to deprive a kid from getting a college education

just
because they came from a single parent household?

-----------------
I couldn't care less. But the point is that college is not something
that
should be ordered by the court, forcing the dad to pay for it. And cs is
not meant to be spent on saving for the future.
-----------------
Wow cares about that.
An education is important period. If a married couple can't put their

kid
through college then that's their mismanagement of money.

------------------
It's more like lack of money. Most college kids go to school using
scholarships, student loans and working their way through school. If the
parents are able to help financially great. But for the court to order a
man to pay and if he is unable to, jail him is unfair at the least.
-------------------
I am going to
do it as a single parent. I am not going to let anyone discourage me

from
it.

--------------
Great! I'm sure that will make things a lot easier on your kid.
-----------
I don't care where the funds come from.
----------
Of course you don't because it's not your money. You are stealing from
your
kid for some possibly unrealisable disant goal. If you want to save
money
for the kids future, use your own money.

~AZ~

----------

Okay AZ since you are not getting it. Let's just put it in terms you may
understand. CS money goes towards basic needs, my own money goes towards
savings account. Now how in the world can you tell the diffence? Does
child support money have the letters "CS" on the bills? The money goes
into my account,ONE account. I then transfer money to my kid account.
It's no form asking me if this is CS money or my personal money. You
don't have a case. You can't prove who's money is going into the savings.
Whye try to separate the monies? So if I decide to put money away for
college that my prerogative.
Tomorrow is never promised to anyone, but I am not going around thinking
"okay I am going to die tomorrow so I don't have to put any savings away."
Only an idiot would have such negative thoughts. I don't know, if she
doesn't decide to go to college in the future, we will just have to cross
that bridge when we get there, but for now the plan stands. I don't want
18 years to pass and she decide to go to college and I don't have any
money. I refuse to use student loans. That's a rip-off in itself. 20
years later you are still paying on student loans. That's just crazy.
You can keep your own advice.

Pammie1

  #1287  
Old August 7th 04, 02:35 AM
Phil #3
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Deadbeats


"Gini" wrote in message
...
In article .net, Phil

#3
says...


"Pammie1" southerngirl@The Real Thing wrote in message
alkaboutparenting.com...
Okay Phil #3 I can see why you would be upset. That is totally wrong
how
she is using her Child Support money. She is a leech. I think she

can
live off $400 a month or less. It's not like she is has
responsibilities.
She is living large at your expensive. That's not good. Have you
tried
to modify? I am just curious if you can have your support lowered.

Pammie1

When it mattered most, I could not afford to even take off of work long
enough for a hearing, much less hire an attorney or even research it
myself.
Now I'm down to less than a year so it would likely cost me as much or
more
than I could save, not to mention I am temporarily stationed 1000 miles
from
the state of origin.
Besides, I've learned to live without it, soon we'll see if SHE can
Phil #3
------------
I don't think she would be able to survive without that extra income
coming in. That would be interesting to see. Less than a year to
go...wow your time will be up before you know it. Are you planning a

big
get away when that time comes?

Pammie1


I don't know what I'll do. It will be like getting a big raise, though.
Phil #3

====
It surely will. But, in our case, they found an "error" that resulted in

us
having to pay another couple grand. We accepted that because we were

concerned
they'd find more "errors" if we didn't. Now that it is completely over,

however,
we feel we have a real life.
====
====


I'm not too worried about 'errors' as our divorce decree states that I pay
her, not some screwed-up branch of the gummit. I'm glad I missed that
experience by being divorced before garnishments became a matter of course.
Of course, she's never drawn any form of welfare, so the gummit doesn't
really care. Of course, our case is probably one of those counted as
uncollected because they don't get to put their hands on it first, even
though I am current and always have been.
Phil #3


  #1288  
Old August 7th 04, 02:40 AM
Phil #3
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Deadbeats


"Bob Whiteside" wrote in message
link.net...

"Phil #3" wrote in message
link.net...

"Pammie1" southerngirl@The Real Thing wrote in message

lkaboutparenting.com...
Okay Phil #3 I can see why you would be upset. That is totally wrong
how
she is using her Child Support money. She is a leech. I think she

can
live off $400 a month or less. It's not like she is has
responsibilities.
She is living large at your expensive. That's not good. Have you
tried
to modify? I am just curious if you can have your support lowered.

Pammie1

When it mattered most, I could not afford to even take off of work

long
enough for a hearing, much less hire an attorney or even research it
myself.
Now I'm down to less than a year so it would likely cost me as much or
more
than I could save, not to mention I am temporarily stationed 1000

miles
from
the state of origin.
Besides, I've learned to live without it, soon we'll see if SHE can
Phil #3
------------
I don't think she would be able to survive without that extra income
coming in. That would be interesting to see. Less than a year to
go...wow your time will be up before you know it. Are you planning a

big
get away when that time comes?

Pammie1


I don't know what I'll do. It will be like getting a big raise, though.
Phil #3


I sent my ex an Excel spreadsheet detailing all of the payments for CS,
alimony, attorney fees, and other expenses I was required to pay broken

down
by year.

I thought she would thank me for being so generous and taking care of my
responsibilities. And tell me she couldn't have been the CP without my
financial contributions and relate how much she appreciated my willingness
to be so liberal in helping out with extra visitations. /s/

As usual her response was she never got that much money. But she got the
point - it was a major amount she no longer would get.


Funny you should mention that. I have an Excel spreadsheet showing the C$
payments, when due, when paid, of course the amount and total paid. Mine
counts down the number of payments left, how many months (or fractions
thereof) remaining. I never thought of sending it to her but I think I will

Thanks for the idea.
I also have a countdown clock showing the exact years, months, weeks, days,
hours, minutes and seconds left before Independence Day
When I installed it, I had several years left. Slowly, I have watched the
years tick by; it seemed like it would be forever when I started counting in
1995.
Phil #3


  #1289  
Old August 7th 04, 02:50 AM
teachrmama
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Deadbeats


"Pammie1" southerngirl@The Real Thing wrote in message
lkaboutparenting.com...
Well Teachrmama it's like this. He is ordered to pay $600 a month. I
can't get him to make regular payments. I filed a Civil Contempt

against
him and he made a $2600 payment to keep from going to jail or being put

on
probation. I am still fighting for the probation. That's the only way

I
can be guaranteed payments.


It's not my fault he decided to have so many
kids by so many different women.

=====
The one you have is your fault.
=====

Just to update you he had me and another
girl pregnant at the same time.

=====
He didn't "have" any of you pregnant. "You chose" a loser to father your
child
and are now attempting to play the victim of this man, when in fact you
are a
victim only of your own bad choices.
=====

Our kids are only 3 months apart. He had
another one like a year and a half later. I just found out that he

wants
to take me to court to reduce his support. He never showed up or
responded to any of the child support papers when I first filed against
him. Now he is wanting to beg the court to lower his amount. He need

to
get a second job.

=====
How many jobs do you have, Pammie? Perhaps you should go back to school
so
*you*
can provide better for your child. Many single mothers choose to do that.
Tracy
did. So did I.

-------------------
DUMMY the subject was CHILD SUPPORT not KIDS. It's not my fault that he
has so many (support orders). Do I have to spell everything out for you.
If you would follow the subject matter you would understand my point.


You get so angry when you talk to people, Pammie! Gini actually makes some
very good points--try reading what she writes without all that anger. She
is a very positive person, and has helped many people in this newsgroup!
(more below)

I admit I made some bad choices. I have said this over and over. You

just
was not reading all my responses. I did choose a loser. Notice how many
men are loser?


I think that, probably, there are about equal numbers of "loser" men and
"loser" women, Pammie.

I made one mistake I don't plan to make another one. This
is my last time saying this, I am providing for my household. I don't
care if I had a million dollars sitting in my bank account, I would still
file for support.


This is where I don't understand you. If you have enough money to take care
of your daughter, why do you want to keep the annoyance of forcing him to
bow to your will (and your opinion) in front of you all the time? If he is
not *being* a father to your daughter, why put her through the hurt of his
rejection? Are you sure you are not still dealing with the hurt of the
scummy way he treated you?

It's both parties responsibility to take care of their
kid. I am doing my part. So you need to get your facts straight. I am
sick and tired of hearing you worthless people in the world protect these
old dead beat dads. In case you didn't know, it's hard being a single
parent. The amount of money that he has to pay does not even begin to
touch the work single moms put into playing the mom and dad role.


There is no amount of money that could pay for the work of being a parent.
Nor is there any amount of money that would get me to give up the joy of
raising my own children. Money doesn't enter into the "parenting" part of
raising a child. I, personally, do not feel that people who are
single-parents-by-choice deserve any more credit than intact home parents.
Being a *parent* is a full time job--single or married.

I am my
own person. I don't go around doing what you and Tracy do. My kid's dad
need to get a second job it's not like his extra time is being spent with
his kid. I have ONE job and I will only have ONE job. Raising a kid on
your own is like having another full time job. I don't feel sorry for any
dead beat. I really don't give a darn how upset you get at hearing that.


I don't feel sorry for true deadbeats, who walk out on their children and
never look back. There are, as mentioned earlier, some truly pathetic
people out there. I do, however, sympathize with those who are labeled
deadbeats because they are unable to jump through the hoops that the CSE has
decided they "must" be able to jump through because "it's in the
guidelines."

If you don't want him to pay then you pay me $600 a month. If you have a
problem with that then shut your mouth. I am enforcing child support not
matter what anyone does or say.


And that is your choice, Pammie. But you sound so very angry. And carrying
anger around with you is like carrying a rattlesnake in you purse--if it
ever gets out, it is just as likely to bite you as the one you're mad at.


  #1290  
Old August 7th 04, 02:52 AM
Phil #3
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Deadbeats


"Pammie1" southerngirl@The Real Thing wrote in message
lkaboutparenting.com...
Well Teachrmama it's like this. He is ordered to pay $600 a month. I
can't get him to make regular payments. I filed a Civil Contempt

against
him and he made a $2600 payment to keep from going to jail or being put

on
probation. I am still fighting for the probation. That's the only way

I
can be guaranteed payments.


It's not my fault he decided to have so many
kids by so many different women.

=====
The one you have is your fault.
=====

Just to update you he had me and another
girl pregnant at the same time.

=====
He didn't "have" any of you pregnant. "You chose" a loser to father your
child
and are now attempting to play the victim of this man, when in fact you
are a
victim only of your own bad choices.
=====

Our kids are only 3 months apart. He had
another one like a year and a half later. I just found out that he

wants
to take me to court to reduce his support. He never showed up or
responded to any of the child support papers when I first filed against
him. Now he is wanting to beg the court to lower his amount. He need

to
get a second job.

=====
How many jobs do you have, Pammie? Perhaps you should go back to school
so
*you*
can provide better for your child. Many single mothers choose to do that.
Tracy
did. So did I.

-------------------
DUMMY the subject was CHILD SUPPORT not KIDS. It's not my fault that he
has so many (support orders). Do I have to spell everything out for you.
If you would follow the subject matter you would understand my point. I
admit I made some bad choices. I have said this over and over. You just
was not reading all my responses. I did choose a loser. Notice how many
men are loser? I made one mistake I don't plan to make another one. This
is my last time saying this, I am providing for my household.


Perhaps it is you who is missing the point. I believe Gini is pointing out
that whining about his needing to get an education or a second job to enable
him to send you money is likely not to happen or not with any regularity, at
least.
That being the case, it is time to move on and support your children with,
or without his help. If you want more and better for your children, it is up
to you since he is apparently not likely to sent your support as ordered.

I don't
care if I had a million dollars sitting in my bank account, I would still
file for support. It's both parties responsibility to take care of their
kid. I am doing my part. So you need to get your facts straight. I am
sick and tired of hearing you worthless people


Are you calling Gini "worthless" or everyone here that disagrees with you?
Either way, you are wrong, and prejudiced...

in the world protect these
old dead beat dads. In case you didn't know, it's hard being a single
parent. The amount of money that he has to pay does not even begin to
touch the work single moms put into playing the mom and dad role.


As if you want to be paid to parent your own children. I've heard that said
here many times.
Didn't you expect you'd be putting in the work whether you stayed together
or not? I know, I know, you didn't expect to do both jobs but what if you'd
stayed together and he worked hard, became a wonderful dad and got injured
on the job to the point he became paralyzed or comatose? What then?

Phil #3


I am my
own person. I don't go around doing what you and Tracy do. My kid's dad
need to get a second job it's not like his extra time is being spent with
his kid. I have ONE job and I will only have ONE job. Raising a kid on
your own is like having another full time job. I don't feel sorry for any
dead beat. I really don't give a darn how upset you get at hearing that.
If you don't want him to pay then you pay me $600 a month. If you have a
problem with that then shut your mouth. I am enforcing child support not
matter what anyone does or say.

Pammie1




 




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