A teenager question

Wendy Marsden wrote:

toto wrote:
On Sat, 02 Aug 2003 18:32:12 GMT, Wendy Marsden
How would he be a *slacker* if he was working and paid rent?

His "job" as a 17 year old is to finish his high school education.
------------
NO person's "job" is to do something not their choice, period!
It doesn't work.


A kid
given every opportunity and three different school situations in order to
support his efforts in this area and yet does not do it - that is waht I'm
calling a slacker.
------------------
Then all you are is wrong.
Steve

On Sat, 02 Aug 2003 18:32:12 GMT, Wendy Marsden
wrote:


So, third try. Let's say he doesn't do the work. Now he's turning
18. They're not interested in running a boarding house for slacker kids
Okay so help me. If he's working and paying rent, how exactly is he a
slacker. Both my kids did not choose college after high school. They
lived at home and worked. They paid room and board. I never thought
of them as slackers even once, although I did hope tha tthings would
change, and they did. Some kids simply do know what to do with their
lives at eighteen. This doesnt make them misfits or slackers. It
makes them unique individuals. I figuired it was my job to help them
down that path, help them learn.

And as the parent paying the biills, I would certainly rather a child
lived at home and worked, that choose a schooling option they werent
comitted to. Your mileage may vary.

even if he pays rent - he just isn't that enjoyable a house-mate.
this sentence says volumes to me. He's a difficult child, perhaps not
easy to get along with, and doesnt fall into the rank and file. Sound
slike a fairly normal kid to me. Seems to me this is the biggest
issue after all is said and done.
told them to come get the lazy bum. They did and my older brother was
well-served by a stint with Uncle Sam.)
And does he still feel the same way?

Barb

Wendy

On Sat, 02 Aug 2003 22:32:47 GMT, Wendy Marsden
wrote:

toto wrote:
On Sat, 02 Aug 2003 18:32:12 GMT, Wendy Marsden
How would he be a *slacker* if he was working and paid rent?

His "job" as a 17 year old is to finish his high school education.
And I think this is an issue. I would say his job is to decide what
he wants to do with his life.
given every opportunity and three different school situations in order to
support his efforts in this area and yet does not do it - that is waht I'm
calling a slacker.
Then perhaps this is not the appropriate effort to make? Perhaps he
needs to get a minimum wage job, pay room and board, and realize for
himself the import of school?

I don't see any particular evidence that he would get a self-supporting
job and pay rent without a GED. His summer job is just that - a teen-aged
kid's summer job. It is recreation-related and won't last past Labor Day.
Then if he lived at home and paid rent and board, perhaps he would
soon realize that he had no disposable income and recognize the point
of finishing school.

I believe the issue is that the mother wants her son to finish his base
level education so that he will be ready to meet the challenges facing him
in adulthood. She is trying to bring him to the point where he will do
the work for himself. She has no wish to allow him the luxery of living
at home and partying while neglecting his responsibilities.
that there would be no talk of leaving home if he were making an effort at
doing his studies.
OKay, maybe its me. Admittedly Im a hands off, let em learn by doing
parent. But I see some REAL control issues here as far as the
parents.

Sure. In fact, I don't see why she wants him home at this point
if she doesn't think very well of him.

Wow. This woman LOVES him.
Your writing does not convey that. JUst the opposie, in my opinion.
And it sound slike she doesnt particularly think much of him, or enjoy
him as a person in his own right. Sounds to me like she has an image
of what he should be.
came to the decision to throw him out after it became clear that nothing
else was getting the kid on track. No, she doesn't think he's a paragon
of a human being - he's a particularly self-absorbed seventeen year
old.
But again, this sounds fairly normal.
doesn't think well of him it is even all the more reason to want him to
come home - so she can finish raising him.
Again, control issues. She needs to be helping him turn into an
adult. She should not be "raising" a seventeen year old in my
opinion.

Sorry If i'm misreading, but thats what I see.

Barb

In article , Barbara says...


I hope it goes well, but it would seem to me that any trust kid had in
parent would be down the tubes at this point. Hopefully thier
releationship can be repaired.


Barb

Indeed. But the lessons they're teaching their son - that adults shouldn't rely
on family, and that financial dependance means subjectation - might not create
the son they'd hope for when they're in their declining years.

Banty

On Sat, 02 Aug 2003 22:32:47 GMT, Wendy Marsden
wrote:

His "job" as a 17 year old is to finish his high school education.

That is easily accomplished with taking the GED. You don't have to be
homeschooled or attend an HS to accomplish that.

--
Daye
Momma to Jayan
EDD 11 Jan 2004

In article ,
Daye wrote:

On Sat, 02 Aug 2003 22:32:47 GMT, Wendy Marsden
wrote:

His "job" as a 17 year old is to finish his high school education.

That is easily accomplished with taking the GED. You don't have to be
homeschooled or attend an HS to accomplish that.


But, as several of us have pointed out in another thread, in some states
you CAN'T take the GED until you are 18, or until your "class" graduates
from high school.

meh
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

On Sun, 03 Aug 2003 20:51:37 GMT, dragonlady
wrote:

But, as several of us have pointed out in another thread, in some states
you CAN'T take the GED until you are 18, or until your "class" graduates
from high school.

Personally, I don't see the big deal. One test and he is done -- even
if he has to wait a few months.

In Australia, there is no such thing as a GED. If you don't finish
school, there is no test.

--
Daye
Momma to Jayan
EDD 11 Jan 2004

Daye wrote:
On Sat, 02 Aug 2003 22:32:47 GMT, Wendy Marsden
wrote:

His "job" as a 17 year old is to finish his high school education.

That is easily accomplished with taking the GED. You don't have to be
homeschooled or attend an HS to accomplish that.

Agreed, Jaye, but if you haven't done any of your school work in some
months and won't pass the GED you need to set up a program of study to
accomplish it. This is exactly what he isn't willing to do.

Wendy

On Sun, 03 Aug 2003 21:22:14 GMT, Wendy Marsden
wrote:

Agreed, Jaye, but if you haven't done any of your school work in some
months and won't pass the GED you need to set up a program of study to
accomplish it. This is exactly what he isn't willing to do.

I didn't study for my GED, and I passed in the top 5% of the test
takers at the time. I then went to Uni where I maintained a min. of a
3.6 GPA.

--
Daye
Momma to Jayan
EDD 11 Jan 2004

On Sun, 03 Aug 2003 16:56:43 -0500, toto
wrote:

Well, that's nice, but it's anecdotal and not all teens can pass
without studying.

Sure, it is anecdotal. However, everyone that I have ever known to
take and pass the GED did not study.

--
Daye
Momma to Jayan
EDD 11 Jan 2004