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Bleak over a baby (semi-OT)



 
 
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  #1  
Old March 1st 04, 06:53 AM
Beth
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Default Bleak over a baby (semi-OT)


Hi,

Just thought I'd unload about the gathering I went to the other day. A
friend's 2-month-old was there and I came away feeling so odd after seeing
how he was handled. He was asleep in a bouncy seat when we got there, then
was laid on a blanket after a few minutes' dandling when he awoke. From
there Grandma held him for ten minutes and then he was placed in a swing for
an hour or so. After some cooing and hinting, I got to feed him a bottle,
and he was so into it, rolling his eyes back and sucking down the formula so
lustily that my own milk let down. Made me laugh. But at the same time I
felt so sad for him, sucking on plastic, cradled by plastic. I changed his
diaper after that and it was sodden with yellow urine.

Now I know for a fact that this baby was planned, wanted, and his folks love
him deeply. He's a happy little fellow who smiles promiscuously! I just
can't help but feel a little bleak about all the faux stuff. I fed
thousands of bottles to my niece and nephews and figured out all kinds of
ingenious ways to keep them out of my teenaged hair, but after having my own
son and raising him without many props, things seem different. Do any of
you feel this way about other parenting styles, or am I just particularly
insufferable? :-)

Beth



  #2  
Old March 1st 04, 07:27 AM
CY
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Default Bleak over a baby (semi-OT)

I'm with you all the way. Seems like I am out of the mainstream these days
and people are constantly (still) telling me how my, happy, well-adjusted
(thankfully, she's back to her normal self these days - if you follow my
previous posts!) DD is going to be spoiled if I keep letting her
nurse/co-sleep/be picked up and cuddled on demand. Makes me sad. Oh well,
can't save 'em all...
"Beth" wrote in message
...

Hi,

Just thought I'd unload about the gathering I went to the other day. A
friend's 2-month-old was there and I came away feeling so odd after seeing
how he was handled. He was asleep in a bouncy seat when we got there,

then
was laid on a blanket after a few minutes' dandling when he awoke. From
there Grandma held him for ten minutes and then he was placed in a swing

for
an hour or so. After some cooing and hinting, I got to feed him a bottle,
and he was so into it, rolling his eyes back and sucking down the formula

so
lustily that my own milk let down. Made me laugh. But at the same time I
felt so sad for him, sucking on plastic, cradled by plastic. I changed

his
diaper after that and it was sodden with yellow urine.

Now I know for a fact that this baby was planned, wanted, and his folks

love
him deeply. He's a happy little fellow who smiles promiscuously! I just
can't help but feel a little bleak about all the faux stuff. I fed
thousands of bottles to my niece and nephews and figured out all kinds of
ingenious ways to keep them out of my teenaged hair, but after having my

own
son and raising him without many props, things seem different. Do any of
you feel this way about other parenting styles, or am I just particularly
insufferable? :-)

Beth





  #3  
Old March 1st 04, 03:29 PM
All4meUC
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Default Bleak over a baby (semi-OT)

Sometimes I feel the same way. Although part of it may be envy. DS never like
his swing, and sleeping in a bassinet or crib.. FORGET it. Only recently has he
started to enjoy being in the stroller. Before 5 months of age he was all about
mommy's arms. In the very early months I heard countless "He's going to be
spoiled" "He needs to be socialized" remarks. Now, I am happy to say that
whenever we go somewhere we here "He's such a happy baby" and "What a good
baby, does he EVER cry!"
Tracy
  #4  
Old March 1st 04, 03:46 PM
Dagny
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Default Bleak over a baby (semi-OT)

Nope, this absolutely depresses me too. Strollers for little babies and
baby buckets (car seats carried into stores) depress me. I don't know why
the mom doesn't like her kid enough to put her in a sling/carrier. I hope
they all have bad backs.

I do make some use of various paraphenalia but not NEARLY to the extent of
my peers.






  #5  
Old March 1st 04, 04:16 PM
Anne Rogers
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Default Bleak over a baby (semi-OT)

Nope, this absolutely depresses me too. Strollers for little babies and
baby buckets (car seats carried into stores) depress me. I don't know why
the mom doesn't like her kid enough to put her in a sling/carrier. I hope
they all have bad backs.


I cannot understand that, I do it very very occassionally when ds has
fallen asleep in the car seat and I haven't got the wheels with me, I only
do it because picking him up and transferring him to a sling has about a
99% chance of waking him and then he'll be grumpy if he is still tired.
Other times it's a sling, or sometimes we just carry him in out arms. We
rarely used the stroller in the first 3 months, but there where times it
was very useful, like once at a wedding and also if I was shopping and I
knew I was buying quite a few things and I could stash them underneath. I
can understand that if the baby is heavier, carrying them is much more
uncomfortable, my mum said she rarely carried me as it always made her
back sore and she couldn't do it for very long (I was an 8lber). Or if the
baby is like my friends baby and hates carriers, she'd have prefered to
carry the baby and push the toddler, but ended up having to borrow a
tandem buggy to baby could sleep in that.

  #6  
Old March 1st 04, 04:24 PM
Buzzy Bee
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Default Bleak over a baby (semi-OT)

On Mon, 01 Mar 2004 14:46:06 GMT, "Dagny" wrote:
but then again I might just have mucked up the snipping as usual!
Nope, this absolutely depresses me too. Strollers for little babies and
baby buckets (car seats carried into stores) depress me. I don't know why
the mom doesn't like her kid enough to put her in a sling/carrier. I hope
they all have bad backs.


I'll be one of these bad mothers. I have rheumatological problems and
whilst I'll carry just the baby happily in a sling around the house
(the best option for me), any venturing outside the house will be in
the pram, the baby bucket probably will go into stores and I'm pretty
much praying that a carry cot is acceptably to any future children for
naps, for the sake of my own health.

There's worse things to do to a child.

Megan
--
Seoras David Montgomery, 7 May 2003, 17 hours: sunrise to sunset (homebirth)

To e-mail use: megan at farr-montgomery dot com
  #7  
Old March 1st 04, 04:32 PM
zeldabee
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Default Bleak over a baby (semi-OT)

Dagny was all, like:
Nope, this absolutely depresses me too. Strollers for little babies
and baby buckets (car seats carried into stores) depress me. I don't
know why the mom doesn't like her kid enough to put her in a
sling/carrier. I hope they all have bad backs.

I do make some use of various paraphenalia but not NEARLY to the
extent of my peers.


I'll use whatever works, but not as a substitute for holding my baby when he
wants to be held. He hated his swing, so I didn't use it, he loves his
exersaucer, so I use that, he likes being in his high chair for x minutes at
a time.

When Sprogly was about 3 months old, my co-workers gave me a stroller, and I
tried it, and he hated it--he started to scream after a block and a half. I
couldn't manage the big heavy thing on the subway stairs, so I hated it.
Now, at nearly 6 months, he's been out in a stroller with Daycare Lady a few
times, and he's really enjoyed himself. I've just ordered a lightweight
stroller, and we'll see how it goes. Right now, the sling's still working
for us, but Bloke won't use it and neither will Daycare Lady, so if
anything, they'll use the stroller even if I don't.

I do feel a bit sad for those babies who spend most of their time in plastic
devices, as so many people remark on what a happy baby Sprogly is, and he's
a sling baby all the way. But with my back, he probably won't be in the
future when he gets bigger. The only slings that are working for me are the
ones where he's carried in the center, high up, and that means I can't see
where my feet are going. I've taken two falls, the most recent one being
last Friday...that makes me nervous. (Sprogly wasn't hurt, but I turned my
ankle both times.)


  #8  
Old March 1st 04, 05:31 PM
nina
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Posts: n/a
Default Bleak over a baby (semi-OT)

My own baby does about 2 hours/day in the swing so I can cook and clean and
shower. She also has a bouncy seat. But she spends most of her time in my
arms.
Perhaps because it was a gathering, they were being alittle more hands off
than usual.
My stepsons GF props her baby's bottle and lets him sit in his car seat all
day, that bugs me But Im sure some people would think Im spoiling my baby
rotten because I never let her cry and always hold her. FWIW, she rarely
cries when put down, but plays and whenshe is tired of playing and begins to
fuss, I go get her. Everyone says she is a very pleasant baby, I think its
because all her needs are met immediately so she has no need to fuss when
alone, her needs having been more than adequately met.
So, while I am really into holding babies etc, I also realize there are
times when a baby may get less attention than usual, and thats ok. And also
that some people are just NOT into AP and thats kinda ok too.
"Beth" wrote in message
...

Hi,

Just thought I'd unload about the gathering I went to the other day. A
friend's 2-month-old was there and I came away feeling so odd after seeing
how he was handled. He was asleep in a bouncy seat when we got there,

then
was laid on a blanket after a few minutes' dandling when he awoke. From
there Grandma held him for ten minutes and then he was placed in a swing

for
an hour or so. After some cooing and hinting, I got to feed him a bottle,
and he was so into it, rolling his eyes back and sucking down the formula

so
lustily that my own milk let down. Made me laugh. But at the same time I
felt so sad for him, sucking on plastic, cradled by plastic. I changed

his
diaper after that and it was sodden with yellow urine.

Now I know for a fact that this baby was planned, wanted, and his folks

love
him deeply. He's a happy little fellow who smiles promiscuously! I just
can't help but feel a little bleak about all the faux stuff. I fed
thousands of bottles to my niece and nephews and figured out all kinds of
ingenious ways to keep them out of my teenaged hair, but after having my

own
son and raising him without many props, things seem different. Do any of
you feel this way about other parenting styles, or am I just particularly
insufferable? :-)

Beth





  #9  
Old March 1st 04, 05:35 PM
nina
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Posts: n/a
Default Bleak over a baby (semi-OT)

I use the car seat in the stores because its COLD here and Im not going to
take an 11 lb baby out of her seat, wake her when she is snuggled and warm.
.. Plus, there is no way I can grocery shop with her in a snugli, tried it
and it DID NOT work. AND my back is messed up from pregnancy and the
csection, I am not physically able to carry her for long. BUT, at home she
spends most of her day in my arms adn sleeps with me. I wouldnt be depressed
about a child's fate based on seeing them in a carseat or stroller, without
knowing the whole picture.
I was always anti-baby carrier, until I had a 5 lb baby in 10 degree
weather. Now I appreciate having a way to keep her totally covered and warm
when I have to take her out.

"Dagny" wrote in message
link.net...
Nope, this absolutely depresses me too. Strollers for little babies and
baby buckets (car seats carried into stores) depress me. I don't know why
the mom doesn't like her kid enough to put her in a sling/carrier. I hope
they all have bad backs.

I do make some use of various paraphenalia but not NEARLY to the extent of
my peers.








  #10  
Old March 1st 04, 05:37 PM
nina
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Posts: n/a
Default Bleak over a baby (semi-OT)


"Buzzy Bee" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 01 Mar 2004 14:46:06 GMT, "Dagny" wrote:
but then again I might just have mucked up the snipping as usual!
Nope, this absolutely depresses me too. Strollers for little babies and
baby buckets (car seats carried into stores) depress me. I don't know

why
the mom doesn't like her kid enough to put her in a sling/carrier. I

hope
they all have bad backs.


I'll be one of these bad mothers. I have rheumatological problems and
whilst I'll carry just the baby happily in a sling around the house
(the best option for me), any venturing outside the house will be in
the pram, the baby bucket probably will go into stores and I'm pretty
much praying that a carry cot is acceptably to any future children for
naps, for the sake of my own health.

There's worse things to do to a child.


I agree. For whatever reasons my back problems are getting worse and now my
knees hurt. I have problems bending over topick the baby up, quite
distressing because I was once in VERY GOOD shape. I took the baby to the
mall in her front carrier once and I couldnt do much for the next 2 days, so
I wasnt much good for her. Better to use what you need judiciously than to
poopoo it all together. For a baby to be more spoiled and attended to than
mine, it would have to live in a pouch on its mothers tummy.


 




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