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frustrated with nurse advice VENT & question (long)



 
 
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  #1  
Old February 11th 04, 03:48 AM
toypup
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Default frustrated with nurse advice VENT & question (long)

I just got off the phone with the L&D nurse. Some of those nurses have been
very helpful, but this last one really got on my nerves.

Background: With DS, I had contractions beginning at 28 weeks. He was born
preterm at 35 weeks. My water broke, which is how I knew to go in. He was
a quick delivery. I wasn't dilated when I came in. It was about 8 hours
from when my water broke to when I had DS. It was about 2 1/2 hours from
the time I was 4 cm dilated.

I've been having contractions this pg since 26 weeks. Early on, they were
about once or twice an hour. Maybe once or twice a day I'd get a slew of
them that were every 5 to 10 minutes that lasted about 2 hours.

As I've been nearing the due date, the contractions have been getting worse.
I went in last week (34 weeks) with contractions every 10 minutes for 4
hours. They sent me home. Doc said come back when they are every 5
minutes.

Yesterday, I came in when they were every 8 minutes for 4 hours. I know,
they weren't every 5 minutes, but I had been having contractions all day.
When I'm there, the contractions are every 6 minutes. They sent me home.
(For the record, I'm okay with going home, no complaint there.)

I've been having contractions all day yesterday, all night, all day today.
The contractions went from every 8 minutes yesterday to every 4 minutes
today. Very regular contractions, but I can talk through them fine. I
don't want to go in too early, but I am alone, so I'm thinking it will be
difficult to drive if I get to the point of not being able to talk through
my contractions. I call back to see if I should go in yet, given my
predicament and got this not so helpful nurse.

VENT: I believe this is the same nurse I saw just last week. She must
think I like to go around crying wolf. She told me to drink lots of water.
I told her I'm doing that. She apparently doesn't believe me. I told her
my urine is clear, it can't get any clearer. She insists I'm a special case
and insists I tell her how much I'm drinking. I didn't count how many
glasses I've had and I didn't care to argue that point with her. She her
story about how she waited for contractions to get so bad, she knew they
wouldn't turn her away from L&D, she just told her DH to drive and don't
stop at the lights. I told her I was alone and that's why I'm asking her if
there was a way to tell when I need to go in before that point. I won't be
able to drive myself otherwise. She was incredulous. She couldn't believe
I didn't have family here, no friends? "Who's taking care or you son?"
Umm, daycare. I don't have anyone, it's not for her to decide that I do. I
told her I wasn't interested in coming in too early, but I won't be able to
drive myself in if I get to the point of not being able to talk through my
contractions. Her reaction, I can come whenever I want, they'll just send
me home after they check my cervix. Otherwise, take 2 Tylenol and a warm
shower and wait until the contractions are really bad. She said I should
know when to come in, since I had one child already. If my water breaks,
lady. Yeah, helps a lot. I could always call an ambulance.

Question: How do I know when to come in so that I can make the 20 minute
drive safely? Is there a way to know? I can understand if there is no
answer. My contractions have been regular all day, getting progressively
closer. They were 5 minutes apart at 1:30pm and now at 6:45pm, just as I'm
typing, they are 3 minutes apart. They've never been this close before. I
can still talk through the contractions.




  #2  
Old February 11th 04, 04:05 AM
Leanne
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Default frustrated with nurse advice VENT & question (long)

Maybe you should just go down there, get them to check you and tell them you
wont be leaving because you have no other way to get there when the
contractions are bad, that way you wont have to explain over the phone, and
maybe you'll be able to talk to a different nurse?

just my 2 cents

I just got off the phone with the L&D nurse. Some of those nurses have

been
very helpful, but this last one really got on my nerves.

Background: With DS, I had contractions beginning at 28 weeks. He was

born
preterm at 35 weeks. My water broke, which is how I knew to go in. He

was
a quick delivery. I wasn't dilated when I came in. It was about 8 hours
from when my water broke to when I had DS. It was about 2 1/2 hours from
the time I was 4 cm dilated.

I've been having contractions this pg since 26 weeks. Early on, they were
about once or twice an hour. Maybe once or twice a day I'd get a slew of
them that were every 5 to 10 minutes that lasted about 2 hours.

As I've been nearing the due date, the contractions have been getting

worse.
I went in last week (34 weeks) with contractions every 10 minutes for 4
hours. They sent me home. Doc said come back when they are every 5
minutes.

Yesterday, I came in when they were every 8 minutes for 4 hours. I know,
they weren't every 5 minutes, but I had been having contractions all day.
When I'm there, the contractions are every 6 minutes. They sent me home.
(For the record, I'm okay with going home, no complaint there.)

I've been having contractions all day yesterday, all night, all day today.
The contractions went from every 8 minutes yesterday to every 4 minutes
today. Very regular contractions, but I can talk through them fine. I
don't want to go in too early, but I am alone, so I'm thinking it will be
difficult to drive if I get to the point of not being able to talk through
my contractions. I call back to see if I should go in yet, given my
predicament and got this not so helpful nurse.

VENT: I believe this is the same nurse I saw just last week. She must
think I like to go around crying wolf. She told me to drink lots of

water.
I told her I'm doing that. She apparently doesn't believe me. I told her
my urine is clear, it can't get any clearer. She insists I'm a special

case
and insists I tell her how much I'm drinking. I didn't count how many
glasses I've had and I didn't care to argue that point with her. She her
story about how she waited for contractions to get so bad, she knew they
wouldn't turn her away from L&D, she just told her DH to drive and don't
stop at the lights. I told her I was alone and that's why I'm asking her

if
there was a way to tell when I need to go in before that point. I won't

be
able to drive myself otherwise. She was incredulous. She couldn't

believe
I didn't have family here, no friends? "Who's taking care or you son?"
Umm, daycare. I don't have anyone, it's not for her to decide that I do.

I
told her I wasn't interested in coming in too early, but I won't be able

to
drive myself in if I get to the point of not being able to talk through my
contractions. Her reaction, I can come whenever I want, they'll just send
me home after they check my cervix. Otherwise, take 2 Tylenol and a warm
shower and wait until the contractions are really bad. She said I should
know when to come in, since I had one child already. If my water breaks,
lady. Yeah, helps a lot. I could always call an ambulance.

Question: How do I know when to come in so that I can make the 20 minute
drive safely? Is there a way to know? I can understand if there is no
answer. My contractions have been regular all day, getting progressively
closer. They were 5 minutes apart at 1:30pm and now at 6:45pm, just as

I'm
typing, they are 3 minutes apart. They've never been this close before.

I
can still talk through the contractions.






  #3  
Old February 11th 04, 04:19 AM
toypup
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Posts: n/a
Default frustrated with nurse advice VENT & question (long)


"Leanne" wrote in message
...
Maybe you should just go down there, get them to check you and tell them

you
wont be leaving because you have no other way to get there when the
contractions are bad, that way you wont have to explain over the phone,

and
maybe you'll be able to talk to a different nurse?


Thanks. I called DH. He said he'll be coming home soon. It takes him
about 20 minutes to get home. If I don't go into labor today, I'll have the
same problem tomorrow.

I'm not really interested in hanging around in the hospital if I'm not
actually in labor. After all, this may go on for who knows how long. If I
insisted on staying, they'd probably discharge me and let me hang around the
waiting room. Not my idea of fun. I just wanted to know if they had any
way of predicting if this was it, ya know? My contractions are now 2 1/2
minutes apart, very regular. I can still talk through them. Heck, I can
still type. They've only been this close together before when I was in
labor with DS. So, I think I will be there tonight. Not really looking
forward to that nurse. Last time I was there, she was supposed to be
helping the doctor record stuff in my chart, but the doc had to go find her.
She was busy watching tv.


  #4  
Old February 11th 04, 04:35 AM
Leanne
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Posts: n/a
Default frustrated with nurse advice VENT & question (long)

Oh I see, can you DH take tomorrow off just incase you don't end up in
tonight but end up having to go in tomorrow?

I havent even had my first yet, but my MW said that once contractions have a
regular pattern, i'm supposed to come in... and since i'm a first timer they
will usually stick you in hospital if your too scared to go home.

Isn't there a way you can check your own cervix??? I have no idea, but i
think i read a thread about it somewhere.

I hope everything works out well for you.

Leanne


Maybe you should just go down there, get them to check you and tell them

you
wont be leaving because you have no other way to get there when the
contractions are bad, that way you wont have to explain over the phone,

and
maybe you'll be able to talk to a different nurse?


Thanks. I called DH. He said he'll be coming home soon. It takes him
about 20 minutes to get home. If I don't go into labor today, I'll have

the
same problem tomorrow.

I'm not really interested in hanging around in the hospital if I'm not
actually in labor. After all, this may go on for who knows how long. If

I
insisted on staying, they'd probably discharge me and let me hang around

the
waiting room. Not my idea of fun. I just wanted to know if they had any
way of predicting if this was it, ya know? My contractions are now 2 1/2
minutes apart, very regular. I can still talk through them. Heck, I can
still type. They've only been this close together before when I was in
labor with DS. So, I think I will be there tonight. Not really looking
forward to that nurse. Last time I was there, she was supposed to be
helping the doctor record stuff in my chart, but the doc had to go find

her.
She was busy watching tv.




  #5  
Old February 11th 04, 04:50 AM
Fer
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default frustrated with nurse advice VENT & question (long)

toypup wrote:
|| "Leanne" wrote in message
|| ...
||| Maybe you should just go down there, get them to check you and tell
||| them you wont be leaving because you have no other way to get there
||| when the contractions are bad, that way you wont have to explain
||| over the phone, and maybe you'll be able to talk to a different
||| nurse?
||
|| Thanks. I called DH. He said he'll be coming home soon. It takes
|| him about 20 minutes to get home. If I don't go into labor today,
|| I'll have the same problem tomorrow.
||
|| I'm not really interested in hanging around in the hospital if I'm
|| not actually in labor. After all, this may go on for who knows how
|| long. If I insisted on staying, they'd probably discharge me and
|| let me hang around the waiting room. Not my idea of fun. I just
|| wanted to know if they had any way of predicting if this was it, ya
|| know? My contractions are now 2 1/2 minutes apart, very regular. I
|| can still talk through them. Heck, I can still type. They've only
|| been this close together before when I was in labor with DS. So, I
|| think I will be there tonight. Not really looking forward to that
|| nurse. Last time I was there, she was supposed to be helping the
|| doctor record stuff in my chart, but the doc had to go find her. She
|| was busy watching tv.

My 0.02
That hospital seems to be full of idiots. You said last week you were 34
wks so I am assuming you are only at 35 weeks along. How can they not be
more concerned about stopping your labor?! Have they put you on bed rest?
Do they plan on giving you any steriods to help the baby's lungs or are you
against that?
--?

Jenn*full of questions*
-WAHM
-DS Feb'92
-DD Feb'97
-Jellyfish due June 25/04


  #6  
Old February 11th 04, 05:49 PM
sher
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Default frustrated with nurse advice VENT & question (long)

"toypup" wrote in message news:rKgWb.274320$xy6.1395306@attbi_s02...

snip
VENT: I believe this is the same nurse I saw just last week. She must
think I like to go around crying wolf.


I remember being very worried to go in if I wasn't truly in labor. I
didn't want the nurses to think I was crying wolf either. In the end,
I decided that it doesn't matter what they think, if there's any
question, I don't want to take any chances. Especially because my
labors tend to go quickly.

She was incredulous. She couldn't believe
I didn't have family here, no friends? "Who's taking care or you son?"


That is so rude. It's none of her business.

She said I should
know when to come in, since I had one child already. If my water breaks,
lady. Yeah, helps a lot. I could always call an ambulance.


Now this is really stupid. All three of my labors have been very
different and it wasn't blatantly obvious to me that I was in labor
for the last two. If I have another, I think I still will be unsure
when to go in. My water broke for my first, so I was very paranoid
that I wouldn't recognize labor with my second if my water didn't
break again. When I did go into labor, it took me awhile to figure it
out and I ended up making it to the hospital only 30 minutes before he
was born. It was an unusually quick labor (under 2 hours), so I don't
mean to scare you. With my third, I started going into labor 6 hours
before I was supposed to go in for an induction, but again, I wasn't
really sure I was in labor. We only went in because we knew we'd be
going there eventually.

Question: How do I know when to come in so that I can make the 20 minute
drive safely? Is there a way to know? I can understand if there is no
answer.


Unfortunately, I don't think there is an answer that I can give, since
I have a hard enough time figuring it out for myself. I would be very
nervous about trying to drive while in labor though. With my last
two, I was fine at home, but sitting in a car in labor is very
uncomfortable and made my contractions a lot worse. I know I could
not have been a capable driver at that point.

Hopefully this baby will stay put for a few more weeks and when he/she
does decide to arrive, your DH will be at home.

Good luck!

~ Sher
  #7  
Old February 12th 04, 06:24 PM
Hillary Israeli
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default frustrated with nurse advice VENT & question (long)

In rKgWb.274320$xy6.1395306@attbi_s02,
toypup wrote:

*Question: How do I know when to come in so that I can make the 20 minute
*drive safely? Is there a way to know? I can understand if there is no
*answer. My contractions have been regular all day, getting progressively
*closer. They were 5 minutes apart at 1:30pm and now at 6:45pm, just as I'm
*typing, they are 3 minutes apart. They've never been this close before. I
*can still talk through the contractions.

IMO there is no way to know. If I were you I'd probably go. The worst that
can happen is being sent home. I know that with my second child, I went
from being not 100% sure that I was even going to have a baby that day
(and at that point we did leave for the hospital) to being unable to speak
or move during contractions in the space of about ten minutes. Luckily
when that phase hit my husband was driving and we were only about five
minutes from the hospital

--
hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net
"uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
not-so-newly minted veterinarian-at-large
  #8  
Old February 15th 04, 10:53 PM
toypup
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default UPDATE: frustrated with nurse advice VENT & question (long)

DH came home and I got to the L&D at 8:30pm. The doc said I was smiling way
too much to be having the baby. I got a different nurse from the one I had
on the phone. She said the same thing. Doc sent me home saying I wouldn't
be having the baby that night. I got home at 11pm. All the way back, I
told DH they made a mistake sending me home. He offered to turn around and
take me back, but I didn't want him to, because they wouldn just send me
home again. Contractions kept getting stronger and more painful.

Finally, at 2:30am, DH asked if I wanted to go in and I said yes, so we got
back to the hospital at 3:05am. The same doc that sent me home told me I
was 8cm dilated and then promptly broke my water, even though I emphatically
told him not to. That is something I never believed could happen. I admit,
before this happened, I had a hard time believing it when people write about
it on this ng. I felt violated. DD's heart rate plumetted immediately
afterwards from a nuchal chord. It remained at 60 for nine minutes. I was
frightened and confused because no on would answer my questions or tell me
anything. Everything the doc did hurt. I did not know there was an
emergency until a kind nurse told me the baby's heart rate was 60 and I
*had* to push. At that point, I cleared my mind of everything and pushed.
It only took two pushes. I could have done that sooner if only they'd have
told me what was going on. The good thing is labor went quickly. I had DD
at 3:17am at 35 weeks 2 days. I wish I knew who the nurse was who told me
what I needed to know. I really want to thank her.



  #9  
Old February 15th 04, 11:22 PM
toypup
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Posts: n/a
Default UPDATE: frustrated with nurse advice VENT & question (long)


"Nan" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 15 Feb 2004 21:53:49 GMT, "toypup"
wrote:

I had DD
at 3:17am at 35 weeks 2 days. I wish I knew who the nurse was who told

me
what I needed to know. I really want to thank her.


Congrats!
That doc sounds like a real jerk.


TBH, when I was more relaxed, he was very nice. Even afterwards, he was
friendly. I think he has good bedside manners, except when I was in labor.
Of course, that's when it counts. It just seemed to me that he doesn't
think someone who is screaming in pain and agony is sane and knows what she
wants. I'm sure I must have looked pretty insane. To all my questions and
even to my refusal of the breaking of my bag of waters, he kept repeating
that I needed to let them do what they needed to do. I plan on talking to
my ob about it so she could bring it up at their next meeting that a woman
in pain & agony of childbirth still has the right to refuse medical
intervention. Also, they need to let a patient know what's going on,
especially when a patient asks. I don't expect a detailed discussion in an
emergency. The nurse's answer was all I needed to know. My appreciation of
the state of emergency is what got me to focus. Maybe the doctor thought it
would have had the opposite effect.

BTW, at the time my water was broken, there was no emergency. I had told
the doc I did not want him to break my bag of waters and asked him why
immediately afterwards to make sure there was no emergency. He said he
wanted to put on an internal monitor. I asked him afterwards if there was
an emergency at the time he broke my water and that's when he told me the
sequence of events. The emergency came immediately after my water was
broken.


  #10  
Old February 15th 04, 11:48 PM
toypup
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Posts: n/a
Default UPDATE: frustrated with nurse advice VENT & question (long)


"Nan" wrote in message
...
As long as you're comfortable with how things get handled, that's all
that matters, though.


No, I'm not comfortable with how it went. I like to concentrate more on the
outcome, though, because I don't like the memory of my child's birth to be
unhappy. I do plan to talk to my ob. She delivered DS. He also had a
nuchal chord. She wanted to do an episiotomy. When I refused, she
explained he was having trouble and he needed to come out now. I consented.
I like how she handled it. She understood me very well. I want her to
bring it up in their next meeting so that all the docs understand that a
woman in labor has the right to refuse treatment and no one else has to
undergo what I went through. I was planning to talk the the doc who
delivered DS, but I decided against it, because I don't think he would
understand. Maybe having his colleagues and higher ups explain it to him
would help.


 




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