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Husband is not excited expecting twins
My husband and I had been trying for a couple of years to get
pregnant. i recently found out I am pregnant, and in fact am expecting twins. My husbnad seems to think the world has ended. He is no longer excited at all about hvaing children. He has no interest in participating and seems to be unhappy when I mention anything regarding the pregnancy. He never wanted more than one child and is pretty upset we are habing two. Is this normal? What can I do to help him? He is worried he will resent the babies once they are born. I am worried he will resent me, little less the kids. |
#2
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Husband is not excited expecting twins
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#3
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Husband is not excited expecting twins
wrote in message oups.com... My husband and I had been trying for a couple of years to get pregnant. i recently found out I am pregnant, and in fact am expecting twins. My husbnad seems to think the world has ended. He is no longer excited at all about hvaing children. He has no interest in participating and seems to be unhappy when I mention anything regarding the pregnancy. He never wanted more than one child and is pretty upset we are habing two. Is this normal? What can I do to help him? He is worried he will resent the babies once they are born. I am worried he will resent me, little less the kids. I think it is a little normal. My husband wasn't all that excited about my first pregnancy and we planned it and it was just one. He got a little bit crazy and irresponsible (well more so then usual, lol) and I was worried. He got more excited about it as I began to grow but even then he wasn't really *into* it. He was totally in love with e baby as soon as he was born however. As you know, twins is a heck of a big shock. I imagine it is even more amplified in a first pregnancy and it sounds as if you are still in the first trimester?? I think you should just give him some time to mull the thought of being a daddy of twins over. I know for me personally I want to talk of nothing but the babies when I'm pregnant but my husband - well not so much. Give him some space. I bet he'll warm up to the idea and as your tummy begins to grow, he'll warm up to the idea. The ultrasounds are kind of cool for dad's if he'll go to one. I've only been able to drag my dh to one. With our twins we didn't know until 20wks so the shock of the pregnancy was already over before the shock of twins. It wasn't our first either or we may have totally flipped out. If he continues to have trouble with the idea for the duration, counseling may be in order but I wouldn't worry about that yet. So - anyway. Twins are great. Lots of fun, so exciting, CONGRATS Twins magazine has a message board that is great for twin mom's and dad's. http://www.twinsmagazine.com/ -- Nikki, mama to Hunter 4/99 Luke 4/01 Brock 4/06 Ben 4/06 |
#4
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Husband is not excited expecting twins
You husband is correct.
Put one up for adoption or kiss your marriage goodbye. wrote in message oups.com... My husband and I had been trying for a couple of years to get pregnant. i recently found out I am pregnant, and in fact am expecting twins. My husbnad seems to think the world has ended. He is no longer excited at all about hvaing children. He has no interest in participating and seems to be unhappy when I mention anything regarding the pregnancy. He never wanted more than one child and is pretty upset we are habing two. Is this normal? What can I do to help him? He is worried he will resent the babies once they are born. I am worried he will resent me, little less the kids. |
#5
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Husband is not excited expecting twins
He's probably in flat out shock.
My husband and I married in our 30's and had our first at 34, and we really, really, REALLY wanted children - and even so, when we found out we were having our first, we both had a sobering period of....omigod, this is real, can we do this, are we going to screw this poor kid up for life, how will our lives change, how can we adapt, whats ahead, what if something goes wrong, what if the baby has problems etc. Most of us have trepidations - the looming physical reality of pregnancy, the lifelong commitment, all the fears and worries - you'd be a little strange if you weren't at least a little scared of the unknown, particularly when you don't have much control over the process (i.e. you can take good care of yourself, but its a biological crapshoot). We now have three kids, and yeah, I think having two at once the first time out would have been even scarier - I know my husband was as worried about ME as he was about becoming a father when pregnancy became real. He was scared of the whole process, of the birth, could he handle me in pain, etc. etc. Pregnancy is also very abstract for a lot of men. After all, its not happening in their body, and the whole idea is very strange (in the early stages I think a lot of women have a hard time believing in it either). It takes a while to get your head around the whole notion. Give the guy some space. He'll be alright. Its like reactions after the birth. Even people who really want kids and totally love them as they grow can be kind of shocked or detatched when they get handed their baby. Doesn't mean they won't be adoring and terrific parents. Plus not everyone is a "baby" person. I think my husband started really bonding with our kids once they turned into toddlers and he could see the interesting little people they were growing into. He was a stellar father of babies, but wasn't quite sure what to make of them in the very early months. M |
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