I saw my first client last night!

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"P.Fritz" wrote in message
...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"'Kate" wrote in message
...
On Wed, 2 Feb 2005 10:28:59 -0500, "Tiffany"
wrote:

on what's next in life?

Ahh.... but will I be able to do this in 20 years? lol

No guarantees in any profession. I could go Alzhiemer's and what will
be 10 years of work will be for nothing.

I have looked in depth into acupuncture training. 3 years..... very
intense
schedule. I really got to think about this before I do it. I still play
around with college though..... then my bf talks about his schedule and
I
flinch.


Is that what your bf's doing? Acupuncture school? How's he enjoying
it?

'Kate




No.... elementary education. He wants to teach kids..... yes, he is
crazy. lol

Oh and Paul, there hasn't been much to say around here..... I still
read every day.

Now Tiff......I have never known you to be at a loss for words LOL




Keeping to my own crazy business.

Actually this boyfriend and I..... well, he never seems to be happy with
the amount of time we get together and this issues comes up over and over
again and I am finding it very frustrating. One night he called like 8
times, left messages and sent texts because he has issues with the fact he
feels I don't make an effort to spend time together. Now when he called a
million times, I was sound asleep and he knows I don't hear the phone
ring. When I think the issue is resolved, it comes up again. Grr. You men
are all nuts.

Hate to say this Tiff........but what you have described should be throwing
up some very red flags.



T

"P.Fritz" wrote in message
...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"P.Fritz" wrote in message
...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"'Kate" wrote in message
...
On Wed, 2 Feb 2005 10:28:59 -0500, "Tiffany"
wrote:

on what's next in life?

Ahh.... but will I be able to do this in 20 years? lol

No guarantees in any profession. I could go Alzhiemer's and what will
be 10 years of work will be for nothing.

I have looked in depth into acupuncture training. 3 years..... very
intense
schedule. I really got to think about this before I do it. I still
play
around with college though..... then my bf talks about his schedule
and I
flinch.


Is that what your bf's doing? Acupuncture school? How's he enjoying
it?

'Kate




No.... elementary education. He wants to teach kids..... yes, he is
crazy. lol

Oh and Paul, there hasn't been much to say around here..... I still
read every day.

Now Tiff......I have never known you to be at a loss for words LOL




Keeping to my own crazy business.

Actually this boyfriend and I..... well, he never seems to be happy with
the amount of time we get together and this issues comes up over and over
again and I am finding it very frustrating. One night he called like 8
times, left messages and sent texts because he has issues with the fact
he feels I don't make an effort to spend time together. Now when he
called a million times, I was sound asleep and he knows I don't hear the
phone ring. When I think the issue is resolved, it comes up again. Grr.
You men are all nuts.

Hate to say this Tiff........but what you have described should be
throwing up some very red flags.



I hear what you say, trust me. He says he just really wants to talk and I
use to take the phone to bed with me so we could talk. (Again, with kids and
schedules, sometimes late at night is when we could have extensive chats) I
explain that yes, sometimes I do and did.... .not always. He admits to being
a bit obsessive about things too. I don't feel its a control issue. Maybe I
see it wrong?

T

"'Kate" wrote in message
...
On Fri, 4 Feb 2005 14:53:10 -0500, "Tiffany"
wrote:


Keeping to my own crazy business.

hehe.. too late! You just spilled yer guts!


Actually this boyfriend and I..... well, he never seems to be happy with
the
amount of time we get together and this issues comes up over and over
again
and I am finding it very frustrating. One night he called like 8 times,
left
messages and sent texts because he has issues with the fact he feels I
don't
make an effort to spend time together. Now when he called a million times,
I
was sound asleep and he knows I don't hear the phone ring. When I think
the
issue is resolved, it comes up again. Grr. You men are all nuts.

So... this sounds like a discussion about communication and meaning.

Tellya a story about a long time ago when I was married. Don't spread
this around, ok?

:-)

My LH was that kind of guy - once was never enough nor was 10 times
when it came to ahem sex. But... he would tell me afterward that it
"wasn't enough." What it sounded like to me was that *I* wasn't
enough. What he meant was that it was so good he didn't want to stop.
I didn't know that until I told him how inadequate I felt when I
couldn't satisfy him and he surprised to say the least.

Yeah, I know.. TMI. I hope my kids don't know who I am here.

Anyway... find out what it means when he calls a million times.. what
you're supposed to understand about that. Men have strange ways of
showing affection/desire/need sometimes. Maybe he doesn't expect
anything more but to tell you he thinks of you a billion times a day.

Or... he could be obsessively posessive & controlling.

Question him.

'Kate
still blushing


LOL.... don't be embarrassed. It was a good example to share to the story.
He says he just want to see me more and more and that it seems I don't want
to see him as much as he wants to see me. He is the type of person who just
thinks he feels things more acutely then everyone else around him, in all
aspects. When he wants to talk, HE WANTS TO TALK. If he doesn't have time,
then that is just fine but why don't I have time for him when HE NEEDS
it??!?!?!? He is an insomniac, I sleep as much as I can. Yes, he is
obsessive. He admits to that. I don't sense any control issues but do wonder
if that is hiding in the background. We are holding off on sex, to be honest
and though I didn't think we had to hold off this long, I am definitely
going to postpone it for a while longer until I see how these things play
out.

The first time he called countless times in the middle of the night,
messages getting more upsetting..... he was filled with sorrow, he was sad.
(Issues related to his son being born with CP) Why wasn't I there for him?!,
Stuff like that. I became sick to my stomach listening to these messages.
(Red flag?) Second and third time, he was upset because of the above reasons
(feeling as though I don't make time for us) Sick feelings in the stomach
again. This last time was mild..... hoping he is learning to control this
urge to be obsessive. Why always the middle of the night though? He knows I
sleep. I think he isn't thinking right..... sleep deprivation and all. I
suggested possible depression but "no-no, I am happier then most people, I
just get sad sometimes."

Your opinions are eye-opening. I haven't really spoke with anyone about this
yet.

T

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"P.Fritz" wrote in message
...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"P.Fritz" wrote in message
...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"'Kate" wrote in message
...
On Wed, 2 Feb 2005 10:28:59 -0500, "Tiffany"
wrote:

on what's next in life?

Ahh.... but will I be able to do this in 20 years? lol

No guarantees in any profession. I could go Alzhiemer's and what
will
be 10 years of work will be for nothing.

I have looked in depth into acupuncture training. 3 years..... very
intense
schedule. I really got to think about this before I do it. I still
play
around with college though..... then my bf talks about his schedule
and I
flinch.


Is that what your bf's doing? Acupuncture school? How's he
enjoying
it?

'Kate




No.... elementary education. He wants to teach kids..... yes, he is
crazy. lol

Oh and Paul, there hasn't been much to say around here..... I still
read every day.

Now Tiff......I have never known you to be at a loss for words LOL




Keeping to my own crazy business.

Actually this boyfriend and I..... well, he never seems to be happy
with
the amount of time we get together and this issues comes up over and
over
again and I am finding it very frustrating. One night he called like 8
times, left messages and sent texts because he has issues with the
fact
he feels I don't make an effort to spend time together. Now when he
called a million times, I was sound asleep and he knows I don't hear
the
phone ring. When I think the issue is resolved, it comes up again.
Grr.
You men are all nuts.

Hate to say this Tiff........but what you have described should be
throwing up some very red flags.



I hear what you say, trust me. He says he just really wants to talk and
I
use to take the phone to bed with me so we could talk. (Again, with kids
and
schedules, sometimes late at night is when we could have extensive
chats) I
explain that yes, sometimes I do and did.... .not always. He admits to
being
a bit obsessive about things too. I don't feel its a control issue.
Maybe I
see it wrong?

Calling eight times in one night because he has issues is a major red flag
to me.......if some one had done that to me.....they would be hitting the
road.......but then, maybe that is why am still single................


T

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"'Kate" wrote in message
...
On Fri, 4 Feb 2005 14:53:10 -0500, "Tiffany"
wrote:


Keeping to my own crazy business.

hehe.. too late! You just spilled yer guts!


Actually this boyfriend and I..... well, he never seems to be happy
with
the
amount of time we get together and this issues comes up over and over
again
and I am finding it very frustrating. One night he called like 8 times,
left
messages and sent texts because he has issues with the fact he feels I
don't
make an effort to spend time together. Now when he called a million
times,
I
was sound asleep and he knows I don't hear the phone ring. When I think
the
issue is resolved, it comes up again. Grr. You men are all nuts.

So... this sounds like a discussion about communication and meaning.

Tellya a story about a long time ago when I was married. Don't spread
this around, ok?

:-)

My LH was that kind of guy - once was never enough nor was 10 times
when it came to ahem sex. But... he would tell me afterward that it
"wasn't enough." What it sounded like to me was that *I* wasn't
enough. What he meant was that it was so good he didn't want to stop.
I didn't know that until I told him how inadequate I felt when I
couldn't satisfy him and he surprised to say the least.

Yeah, I know.. TMI. I hope my kids don't know who I am here.

Anyway... find out what it means when he calls a million times.. what
you're supposed to understand about that. Men have strange ways of
showing affection/desire/need sometimes. Maybe he doesn't expect
anything more but to tell you he thinks of you a billion times a day.

Or... he could be obsessively posessive & controlling.

Question him.

'Kate
still blushing


LOL.... don't be embarrassed. It was a good example to share to the
story.
He says he just want to see me more and more and that it seems I don't
want
to see him as much as he wants to see me. He is the type of person who
just
thinks he feels things more acutely then everyone else around him, in
all
aspects. When he wants to talk, HE WANTS TO TALK. If he doesn't have
time,
then that is just fine but why don't I have time for him when HE NEEDS
it??!?!?!? He is an insomniac, I sleep as much as I can. Yes, he is
obsessive. He admits to that. I don't sense any control issues but do
wonder
if that is hiding in the background. We are holding off on sex, to be
honest
and though I didn't think we had to hold off this long, I am definitely
going to postpone it for a while longer until I see how these things
play
out.

The first time he called countless times in the middle of the night,
messages getting more upsetting..... he was filled with sorrow, he was
sad.
(Issues related to his son being born with CP) Why wasn't I there for
him?!,
Stuff like that. I became sick to my stomach listening to these
messages.
(Red flag?) Second and third time, he was upset because of the above
reasons
(feeling as though I don't make time for us) Sick feelings in the
stomach
again.

Well, go with the gut instinct (okay, that was a bad pun) Calling in
the middle of the night, knowing you are sleeping because he is upset is a
sign that it is 'all about him'

Are you sure his name isn't steveb? (just joking)

This last time was mild..... hoping he is learning to control this
urge to be obsessive. Why always the middle of the night though? He
knows I
sleep. I think he isn't thinking right..... sleep deprivation and all. I
suggested possible depression but "no-no, I am happier then most people,
I
just get sad sometimes."

Your opinions are eye-opening. I haven't really spoke with anyone about
this
yet.

T

"P. Fritz" wrote in message
...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"'Kate" wrote in message
...
On Fri, 4 Feb 2005 14:53:10 -0500, "Tiffany"
wrote:


Keeping to my own crazy business.

hehe.. too late! You just spilled yer guts!


Actually this boyfriend and I..... well, he never seems to be happy
with
the
amount of time we get together and this issues comes up over and over
again
and I am finding it very frustrating. One night he called like 8
times,
left
messages and sent texts because he has issues with the fact he feels I
don't
make an effort to spend time together. Now when he called a million
times,
I
was sound asleep and he knows I don't hear the phone ring. When I
think
the
issue is resolved, it comes up again. Grr. You men are all nuts.

So... this sounds like a discussion about communication and meaning.

Tellya a story about a long time ago when I was married. Don't spread
this around, ok?

:-)

My LH was that kind of guy - once was never enough nor was 10 times
when it came to ahem sex. But... he would tell me afterward that it
"wasn't enough." What it sounded like to me was that *I* wasn't
enough. What he meant was that it was so good he didn't want to stop.
I didn't know that until I told him how inadequate I felt when I
couldn't satisfy him and he surprised to say the least.

Yeah, I know.. TMI. I hope my kids don't know who I am here.

Anyway... find out what it means when he calls a million times.. what
you're supposed to understand about that. Men have strange ways of
showing affection/desire/need sometimes. Maybe he doesn't expect
anything more but to tell you he thinks of you a billion times a day.

Or... he could be obsessively posessive & controlling.

Question him.

'Kate
still blushing


LOL.... don't be embarrassed. It was a good example to share to the
story.
He says he just want to see me more and more and that it seems I don't
want
to see him as much as he wants to see me. He is the type of person who
just
thinks he feels things more acutely then everyone else around him, in
all
aspects. When he wants to talk, HE WANTS TO TALK. If he doesn't have
time,
then that is just fine but why don't I have time for him when HE NEEDS
it??!?!?!? He is an insomniac, I sleep as much as I can. Yes, he is
obsessive. He admits to that. I don't sense any control issues but do
wonder
if that is hiding in the background. We are holding off on sex, to be
honest
and though I didn't think we had to hold off this long, I am definitely
going to postpone it for a while longer until I see how these things
play
out.

The first time he called countless times in the middle of the night,
messages getting more upsetting..... he was filled with sorrow, he was
sad.
(Issues related to his son being born with CP) Why wasn't I there for
him?!,
Stuff like that. I became sick to my stomach listening to these
messages.
(Red flag?) Second and third time, he was upset because of the above
reasons
(feeling as though I don't make time for us) Sick feelings in the
stomach
again.

Well, go with the gut instinct (okay, that was a bad pun) Calling in
the middle of the night, knowing you are sleeping because he is upset is a
sign that it is 'all about him'

Are you sure his name isn't steveb? (just joking)

Running to bathroom to throw up......

lol

T

"P. Fritz" wrote in message
...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"P.Fritz" wrote in message
...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"P.Fritz" wrote in message
...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"'Kate" wrote in message
...
On Wed, 2 Feb 2005 10:28:59 -0500, "Tiffany"

wrote:

on what's next in life?

Ahh.... but will I be able to do this in 20 years? lol

No guarantees in any profession. I could go Alzhiemer's and what
will
be 10 years of work will be for nothing.

I have looked in depth into acupuncture training. 3 years.....
very
intense
schedule. I really got to think about this before I do it. I still
play
around with college though..... then my bf talks about his
schedule
and I
flinch.


Is that what your bf's doing? Acupuncture school? How's he
enjoying
it?

'Kate




No.... elementary education. He wants to teach kids..... yes, he is
crazy. lol

Oh and Paul, there hasn't been much to say around here..... I
still
read every day.

Now Tiff......I have never known you to be at a loss for words
LOL




Keeping to my own crazy business.

Actually this boyfriend and I..... well, he never seems to be happy
with
the amount of time we get together and this issues comes up over and
over
again and I am finding it very frustrating. One night he called like
8
times, left messages and sent texts because he has issues with the
fact
he feels I don't make an effort to spend time together. Now when he
called a million times, I was sound asleep and he knows I don't hear
the
phone ring. When I think the issue is resolved, it comes up again.
Grr.
You men are all nuts.

Hate to say this Tiff........but what you have described should be
throwing up some very red flags.



I hear what you say, trust me. He says he just really wants to talk and
I
use to take the phone to bed with me so we could talk. (Again, with
kids and
schedules, sometimes late at night is when we could have extensive
chats) I
explain that yes, sometimes I do and did.... .not always. He admits to
being
a bit obsessive about things too. I don't feel its a control issue.
Maybe I
see it wrong?

Calling eight times in one night because he has issues is a major red
flag to me.......if some one had done that to me.....they would be hitting
the road.......but then, maybe that is why am still single................




I am sure that isn't why you are single. Believe me, it has put a damper on
the relationship but I am (like you) very prone to just have someone hit the
road and wonder if lack of compromise (???) is a hindrance in my pursuit of
happiness.

T

On Sat, 5 Feb 2005 10:12:42 -0500, "Tiffany"
wrote:


Calling eight times in one night because he has issues is a major red
flag to me.......if some one had done that to me.....they would be hitting
the road.......but then, maybe that is why am still single................




I am sure that isn't why you are single. Believe me, it has put a damper on
the relationship but I am (like you) very prone to just have someone hit the
road and wonder if lack of compromise (???) is a hindrance in my pursuit of
happiness.

Compromise is when you both bend a little to achieve a common end
respecting each of your different methods. It's not one person getting
their way.

Be careful, Tiff.

Cele

On Sat, 5 Feb 2005 09:01:16 -0500, "Tiffany"
wrote:


"'Kate" wrote in message
.. .
On Fri, 4 Feb 2005 14:53:10 -0500, "Tiffany"
wrote:


Keeping to my own crazy business.

hehe.. too late! You just spilled yer guts!


Actually this boyfriend and I..... well, he never seems to be happy with
the
amount of time we get together and this issues comes up over and over
again
and I am finding it very frustrating. One night he called like 8 times,
left
messages and sent texts because he has issues with the fact he feels I
don't
make an effort to spend time together. Now when he called a million times,
I
was sound asleep and he knows I don't hear the phone ring. When I think
the
issue is resolved, it comes up again. Grr. You men are all nuts.

So... this sounds like a discussion about communication and meaning.

Tellya a story about a long time ago when I was married. Don't spread
this around, ok?

:-)

My LH was that kind of guy - once was never enough nor was 10 times
when it came to ahem sex. But... he would tell me afterward that it
"wasn't enough." What it sounded like to me was that *I* wasn't
enough. What he meant was that it was so good he didn't want to stop.
I didn't know that until I told him how inadequate I felt when I
couldn't satisfy him and he surprised to say the least.

Yeah, I know.. TMI. I hope my kids don't know who I am here.

Anyway... find out what it means when he calls a million times.. what
you're supposed to understand about that. Men have strange ways of
showing affection/desire/need sometimes. Maybe he doesn't expect
anything more but to tell you he thinks of you a billion times a day.

Or... he could be obsessively posessive & controlling.

Question him.

'Kate
still blushing


LOL.... don't be embarrassed. It was a good example to share to the story.
He says he just want to see me more and more and that it seems I don't want
to see him as much as he wants to see me. He is the type of person who just
thinks he feels things more acutely then everyone else around him, in all
aspects. When he wants to talk, HE WANTS TO TALK. If he doesn't have time,
then that is just fine but why don't I have time for him when HE NEEDS
it??!?!?!? He is an insomniac, I sleep as much as I can. Yes, he is
obsessive. He admits to that. I don't sense any control issues but do wonder
if that is hiding in the background. We are holding off on sex, to be honest
and though I didn't think we had to hold off this long, I am definitely
going to postpone it for a while longer until I see how these things play
out.

The first time he called countless times in the middle of the night,
messages getting more upsetting..... he was filled with sorrow, he was sad.
(Issues related to his son being born with CP) Why wasn't I there for him?!,
Stuff like that. I became sick to my stomach listening to these messages.
(Red flag?) Second and third time, he was upset because of the above reasons
(feeling as though I don't make time for us) Sick feelings in the stomach
again. This last time was mild..... hoping he is learning to control this
urge to be obsessive. Why always the middle of the night though? He knows I
sleep. I think he isn't thinking right..... sleep deprivation and all. I
suggested possible depression but "no-no, I am happier then most people, I
just get sad sometimes."

Your opinions are eye-opening. I haven't really spoke with anyone about this
yet.

Tiff, those *are* control issues. If he wanted your love and support,
and was prepared to provide the same to you, he'd respect your need
for sleep unless somebody had just *died*. His kid has had CP for
years - he doesn't need to call you up in the middle of the night,
multiple times. Doing that is likely an attempt to get you to 'prove'
yourself in some way...that is...it's an attempt to control you. Break
you out of your normal patterns (sleeping at night) to prove yourself.

Unfortunately, people who are into that kind of thing tend to never
be satisfied. You do one bit of 'proving' and they raise the
bar...endlessly. They have holes that can't be filled by other people.

Also, people don't learn to control their obsessiveness like they
learn to play piano or speak a language. If he's obsessive now, and
he's trying to court you, he's gonna get *more*, not less, obsessive,
once you have a more permanent relationship...if you do...

He sounds a little on the bipolar side to me, but what do I know?

Cele

"'Kate" wrote in message
...
On Sat, 5 Feb 2005 09:01:16 -0500, "Tiffany"
wrote:


LOL.... don't be embarrassed. It was a good example to share to the
story.
He says he just want to see me more and more and that it seems I don't
want
to see him as much as he wants to see me. He is the type of person who
just
thinks he feels things more acutely then everyone else around him, in
all
aspects. When he wants to talk, HE WANTS TO TALK. If he doesn't have
time,
then that is just fine but why don't I have time for him when HE NEEDS
it??!?!?!? He is an insomniac, I sleep as much as I can. Yes, he is
obsessive. He admits to that. I don't sense any control issues but do
wonder
if that is hiding in the background. We are holding off on sex, to be
honest
and though I didn't think we had to hold off this long, I am definitely
going to postpone it for a while longer until I see how these things
play
out.

The first time he called countless times in the middle of the night,
messages getting more upsetting..... he was filled with sorrow, he was
sad.
(Issues related to his son being born with CP) Why wasn't I there for
him?!,
Stuff like that. I became sick to my stomach listening to these
messages.
(Red flag?) Second and third time, he was upset because of the above
reasons
(feeling as though I don't make time for us) Sick feelings in the
stomach
again. This last time was mild..... hoping he is learning to control
this
urge to be obsessive. Why always the middle of the night though? He
knows I
sleep. I think he isn't thinking right..... sleep deprivation and all. I
suggested possible depression but "no-no, I am happier then most people,
I
just get sad sometimes."

Your opinions are eye-opening. I haven't really spoke with anyone about
this
yet.

T

I'm glad you're being careful. Those are all good questions.

I don't like that he makes you feel guilty. Years of that will wear
on your self esteem.

I hope that he'll talk to a doctor about the insomnia. Maybe that's
all it is but you won't know until he finds help for it. Sometimes
anxiety causes insomnia and sometimes insomnia causes anxiety.

I get insomnia sometimes........but I don't start calling people multiple
times in the middle of the night :-)

I leave it to the experts here.........maybe I am just too cynical
anymore, but I see too many red flags there.


Set limits (like not calling in the middle of the night). If he does
it again, tell him that you will take the phone off the hook at night.
If he is unable to respect your limits, then he's not ready for a
relationship.

'Kate