A Parenting & kids forum. ParentingBanter.com

If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Go Back   Home » ParentingBanter.com forum » alt.support » Single Parents
Site Map Home Authors List Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read Web Partners

I'm back, but not in spirit.



 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old April 24th 05, 09:44 AM
CME
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default I'm back, but not in spirit.

I just got home from Melbourne, we actually ended up staying another week.
I'm seriously considering a move, but I'm struggling with how much of an
adjustment that would be for the boys, as well as myself. Although I was
given many opportunities to stay, uprooting to the other side of the world
is a huge step. I'll give it a few months, let them finish school and look
at making an informed decision then, instead of flying by the seat of my
pants... but part of me just wants to run and do it.

Any thoughts/advice?

Christine


  #2  
Old April 24th 05, 04:25 PM
Cele
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

On Sun, 24 Apr 2005 08:44:17 GMT, "CME"
wrote:

I just got home from Melbourne, we actually ended up staying another week.
I'm seriously considering a move, but I'm struggling with how much of an
adjustment that would be for the boys, as well as myself. Although I was
given many opportunities to stay, uprooting to the other side of the world
is a huge step. I'll give it a few months, let them finish school and look
at making an informed decision then, instead of flying by the seat of my
pants... but part of me just wants to run and do it.

Any thoughts/advice?


When we went to live in Australia for a year, the girls were 12 & 14.
They were initially not at all keen, because it was unfamiliar and
they didn't know anything about Oz. Suffice it to say, ever since we
went, they've wanted to go back. Both talk of living there some day.

If you decide to do it, give them lots of information about what Oz is
like. Talk about Little Athletics, if they're into sports. Talk about
the beaches and the sun. Warn them about school uniforms (mine were
vehemently opposed and now think that uniforms are the only way to
go). Get them on the web, looking at pictures. Show them the websites
for attractions in the area you want to go to.

Also, consider that the Aussie dollar is smaller than ours. While
you're there on Canadian money, you feel richer. If you moved there,
you'd be earning their dollars, and it can be hard to get back to
Canada if you don't think that one through.

Be aware of the Australian-Canadian Association. I'm too lazy to look
for links right now 'cause I'm off to church, but if you surf it
you'll find it. Those guys are friendly and can help you settle in.

And be grateful it's olympic year here instead of there. I was there
for theirs, and now I'm here for ours. [sigh]

Good luck, and keep us posted!

Cele
  #3  
Old April 24th 05, 05:38 PM
P. Fritz
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"CME" wrote in message
news:B%Iae.1580$tg1.422@edtnps84...
I just got home from Melbourne, we actually ended up staying another

week.
I'm seriously considering a move, but I'm struggling with how much of an
adjustment that would be for the boys, as well as myself. Although I

was
given many opportunities to stay, uprooting to the other side of the

world
is a huge step. I'll give it a few months, let them finish school and

look
at making an informed decision then, instead of flying by the seat of my
pants... but part of me just wants to run and do it.

Any thoughts/advice?


Yeah.....if you do go, you have to get a place with a spare bedroom for us
visitors :-)


Christine




  #4  
Old April 25th 05, 09:14 AM
steveb
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

On Sun, 24 Apr 2005 08:44:17 GMT, "CME"
wrote:

Any thoughts/advice?


Christine, none of us can offer any certainty about how you and your
family will react to such a move. By any measure, it's awesome. Paul
Griffiths can tell you how it is for him, to be moving continents, and
I can tell you a little of my experience.

In the end tho, you have to accept that you will never do anything
else more daunting, or more exciting.

Moving from the UK to the United States is proving rewarding and
frustrating in equal measure. I have found that all the solutions to
problems we found in the UK, are just different enough here to be
confusing. All the more because you would think that nearly sharing a
language should make it easy. It's kinda like permenant *brain fog*.
The bonus is that travel really does broaden the mind. You will find
that accepting the fact that the answers to problems can be different,
in different countries, helps you to realise that your own ideas
aren't necessarily the ONLY ideas, and may not even be the best ideas.
It's liberating.

Australia is almost an English speaking country, and I imagine you
will have some of these feelings yourself.

For my part, I treasure them. The whole thing is a voyage of discovery
that leaves me feeling *more* than I was before ... and priviledged
too.

The biggest single issue for me is the people I have left behind.
Parents, siblings, friends and my children (it's a long story, best
told another time)

So having decided to put 5000 miles between us, the single most
important issue was how to shorten the distance. In our case, it's a
reasonable plane ride (10 hours incl. one change) and is affordable,
so the kids can visit regularly. The journey to Aus. is a much longer
and pricier one.

We have set up a phone link so the boys (and anyone else) can call for
the cost of a local call in the UK, and I can call them free.

Email accounts help too .... but we are doing other things as well. I
started an on-line journal which both kids, and the rest of the family
enjoy reading and commenting on. Old fashoined letters and regular
small parcels help .... I gave Tom an mp3 player, and he sends me the
SD card to change the music for him .... we also set up a *Geocaching*
Travel Bug (ask) to get from them to me.

It all helps. In your case, do it your own way, but keep the
communication open.

To give the move a fair chance to work, I found I had to commit to it
100%, that is .... no going back. This doesn't mean I couldn't go
back, simply that I abandoned any idea of doing so. None of that
implies one needs to give up family and friends, nor to lose contact
with them ..... but enjoy your new friends too. Don't allow
*homesickness* any houseroom .... you ARE home

In the end, as well as asking whether or not you should do this, ask
yourself too how you will feel if you don't do it. If your answer is
that you are, and should remain, happy in Canada, then stay and have
no regrets. If not ...... hang on and enjoy the ride.

hth

steveb
  #5  
Old April 26th 05, 03:24 AM
CME
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"Cele" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 24 Apr 2005 08:44:17 GMT, "CME"
wrote:

I just got home from Melbourne, we actually ended up staying another week.
I'm seriously considering a move, but I'm struggling with how much of an
adjustment that would be for the boys, as well as myself. Although I was
given many opportunities to stay, uprooting to the other side of the world
is a huge step. I'll give it a few months, let them finish school and
look
at making an informed decision then, instead of flying by the seat of my
pants... but part of me just wants to run and do it.

Any thoughts/advice?


When we went to live in Australia for a year, the girls were 12 & 14.
They were initially not at all keen, because it was unfamiliar and
they didn't know anything about Oz. Suffice it to say, ever since we
went, they've wanted to go back. Both talk of living there some day.

If you decide to do it, give them lots of information about what Oz is
like. Talk about Little Athletics, if they're into sports. Talk about
the beaches and the sun. Warn them about school uniforms (mine were
vehemently opposed and now think that uniforms are the only way to
go). Get them on the web, looking at pictures. Show them the websites
for attractions in the area you want to go to.

Also, consider that the Aussie dollar is smaller than ours. While
you're there on Canadian money, you feel richer. If you moved there,
you'd be earning their dollars, and it can be hard to get back to
Canada if you don't think that one through.

Be aware of the Australian-Canadian Association. I'm too lazy to look
for links right now 'cause I'm off to church, but if you surf it
you'll find it. Those guys are friendly and can help you settle in.

And be grateful it's olympic year here instead of there. I was there
for theirs, and now I'm here for ours. [sigh]

Good luck, and keep us posted!

Cele


Well I took them with me for the 3 weeks I was there and although they liked
it, the things that are important to 9 year old boys, Oz lacked. The
insignificant things like the cheese tastes different, granola bars, chicken
noodle soup... you name it, it's different. I find Canada alot easier to
live in, with conveniences like Superstores etc but I adjusted just fine,
for a vacation... permanently... oi that's another matter I think. And
dollar for dollar, it's roughly the same because I found items to be just as
expensive if not more because instead of tipping and tax, they worked it in
the final price. But what an exciting place to live, the weather, the
nightlife, the traffic, the 4 million people, I had so much fun I'm just
itching to go back. lol

Christine



  #6  
Old April 26th 05, 03:27 AM
CME
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"P. Fritz" wrote in message
...

"CME" wrote in message
news:B%Iae.1580$tg1.422@edtnps84...
I just got home from Melbourne, we actually ended up staying another

week.
I'm seriously considering a move, but I'm struggling with how much of

an
adjustment that would be for the boys, as well as myself. Although I

was
given many opportunities to stay, uprooting to the other side of the

world
is a huge step. I'll give it a few months, let them finish school and

look
at making an informed decision then, instead of flying by the seat of

my
pants... but part of me just wants to run and do it.

Any thoughts/advice?


Yeah.....if you do go, you have to get a place with a spare bedroom for
us visitors :-)


Christine


Most definitely. I ended up staying with a friend for a couple weeks and it
was so neat to see how they really live down under. I don't know if my gf's
family was any real indication but they're so laid back and uncaring about
the small stuff. Whereas I grew up in a household of organization, and to
do lists. lol But yes if I do move, I'm a great host.

Christine


  #7  
Old April 26th 05, 03:42 AM
CME
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"steveb" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 24 Apr 2005 08:44:17 GMT, "CME"
wrote:

Any thoughts/advice?


Christine, none of us can offer any certainty about how you and your
family will react to such a move. By any measure, it's awesome. Paul
Griffiths can tell you how it is for him, to be moving continents, and
I can tell you a little of my experience.

In the end tho, you have to accept that you will never do anything
else more daunting, or more exciting.

Moving from the UK to the United States is proving rewarding and
frustrating in equal measure. I have found that all the solutions to
problems we found in the UK, are just different enough here to be
confusing. All the more because you would think that nearly sharing a
language should make it easy. It's kinda like permenant *brain fog*.
The bonus is that travel really does broaden the mind. You will find
that accepting the fact that the answers to problems can be different,
in different countries, helps you to realise that your own ideas
aren't necessarily the ONLY ideas, and may not even be the best ideas.
It's liberating.

Australia is almost an English speaking country, and I imagine you
will have some of these feelings yourself.

For my part, I treasure them. The whole thing is a voyage of discovery
that leaves me feeling *more* than I was before ... and priviledged
too.

The biggest single issue for me is the people I have left behind.
Parents, siblings, friends and my children (it's a long story, best
told another time)

So having decided to put 5000 miles between us, the single most
important issue was how to shorten the distance. In our case, it's a
reasonable plane ride (10 hours incl. one change) and is affordable,
so the kids can visit regularly. The journey to Aus. is a much longer
and pricier one.

We have set up a phone link so the boys (and anyone else) can call for
the cost of a local call in the UK, and I can call them free.

Email accounts help too .... but we are doing other things as well. I
started an on-line journal which both kids, and the rest of the family
enjoy reading and commenting on. Old fashoined letters and regular
small parcels help .... I gave Tom an mp3 player, and he sends me the
SD card to change the music for him .... we also set up a *Geocaching*
Travel Bug (ask) to get from them to me.

It all helps. In your case, do it your own way, but keep the
communication open.

To give the move a fair chance to work, I found I had to commit to it
100%, that is .... no going back. This doesn't mean I couldn't go
back, simply that I abandoned any idea of doing so. None of that
implies one needs to give up family and friends, nor to lose contact
with them ..... but enjoy your new friends too. Don't allow
*homesickness* any houseroom .... you ARE home

In the end, as well as asking whether or not you should do this, ask
yourself too how you will feel if you don't do it. If your answer is
that you are, and should remain, happy in Canada, then stay and have
no regrets. If not ...... hang on and enjoy the ride.

hth

steveb


Fabulous post, thanks so much. You're dead on about those cultural
differences even though it's an English speaking country. It took a full
week and a bit of tears on my part because I felt like a fish out of water
but after I got my bearings and stuck to it like a good little Canadian, I
fell in love with the place and my thoughts are consumed with going back.

However I need to think about my kids. I'd be ripping them away from family
and friends and a whole way of life so I want to do what's right not only
for myself but for them. Anyways, I have a couple months to make a decision
but it's going to be huge if I do decide to move. I'd have to sell most of
my belongings, which to some isn't such a big deal but to a single Mom, it's
a big part of me. Oi.

Christine


  #8  
Old April 26th 05, 03:11 PM
P.Fritz
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"CME" wrote in message
news:IUhbe.557$0X6.473@edtnps90...

"steveb" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 24 Apr 2005 08:44:17 GMT, "CME"
wrote:

Any thoughts/advice?


Christine, none of us can offer any certainty about how you and your
family will react to such a move. By any measure, it's awesome. Paul
Griffiths can tell you how it is for him, to be moving continents, and
I can tell you a little of my experience.

In the end tho, you have to accept that you will never do anything
else more daunting, or more exciting.

Moving from the UK to the United States is proving rewarding and
frustrating in equal measure. I have found that all the solutions to
problems we found in the UK, are just different enough here to be
confusing. All the more because you would think that nearly sharing a
language should make it easy. It's kinda like permenant *brain fog*.
The bonus is that travel really does broaden the mind. You will find
that accepting the fact that the answers to problems can be different,
in different countries, helps you to realise that your own ideas
aren't necessarily the ONLY ideas, and may not even be the best ideas.
It's liberating.

Australia is almost an English speaking country, and I imagine you
will have some of these feelings yourself.

For my part, I treasure them. The whole thing is a voyage of discovery
that leaves me feeling *more* than I was before ... and priviledged
too.

The biggest single issue for me is the people I have left behind.
Parents, siblings, friends and my children (it's a long story, best
told another time)

So having decided to put 5000 miles between us, the single most
important issue was how to shorten the distance. In our case, it's a
reasonable plane ride (10 hours incl. one change) and is affordable,
so the kids can visit regularly. The journey to Aus. is a much longer
and pricier one.

We have set up a phone link so the boys (and anyone else) can call for
the cost of a local call in the UK, and I can call them free.

Email accounts help too .... but we are doing other things as well. I
started an on-line journal which both kids, and the rest of the family
enjoy reading and commenting on. Old fashoined letters and regular
small parcels help .... I gave Tom an mp3 player, and he sends me the
SD card to change the music for him .... we also set up a *Geocaching*
Travel Bug (ask) to get from them to me.

It all helps. In your case, do it your own way, but keep the
communication open.

To give the move a fair chance to work, I found I had to commit to it
100%, that is .... no going back. This doesn't mean I couldn't go
back, simply that I abandoned any idea of doing so. None of that
implies one needs to give up family and friends, nor to lose contact
with them ..... but enjoy your new friends too. Don't allow
*homesickness* any houseroom .... you ARE home

In the end, as well as asking whether or not you should do this, ask
yourself too how you will feel if you don't do it. If your answer is
that you are, and should remain, happy in Canada, then stay and have
no regrets. If not ...... hang on and enjoy the ride.

hth

steveb


Fabulous post, thanks so much. You're dead on about those cultural
differences even though it's an English speaking country. It took a full
week and a bit of tears on my part because I felt like a fish out of water
but after I got my bearings and stuck to it like a good little Canadian, I
fell in love with the place and my thoughts are consumed with going back.

However I need to think about my kids. I'd be ripping them away from
family and friends and a whole way of life so I want to do what's right
not only for myself but for them. Anyways, I have a couple months to make
a decision but it's going to be huge if I do decide to move. I'd have to
sell most of my belongings, which to some isn't such a big deal but to a
single Mom, it's a big part of me. Oi.

Christine


Moving with your kids to try to provide a better life for them is far
different from abandoning them and moving an ocean away.





  #9  
Old April 26th 05, 04:46 PM
steveb
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

On Tue, 26 Apr 2005 10:11:37 -0400, "P.Fritz"
wrote:

Moving with your kids to try to provide a better life for them is far
different from abandoning them and moving an ocean away.


I don't recall anywhere in Christine's post her mentioning she was
abandoning her kids.

steveb -- off to re-read
  #10  
Old April 26th 05, 05:03 PM
CME
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"P.Fritz" wrote in message
...

"CME" wrote in message
news:IUhbe.557$0X6.473@edtnps90...

"steveb" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 24 Apr 2005 08:44:17 GMT, "CME"
wrote:

Any thoughts/advice?

Christine, none of us can offer any certainty about how you and your
family will react to such a move. By any measure, it's awesome. Paul
Griffiths can tell you how it is for him, to be moving continents, and
I can tell you a little of my experience.

In the end tho, you have to accept that you will never do anything
else more daunting, or more exciting.

Moving from the UK to the United States is proving rewarding and
frustrating in equal measure. I have found that all the solutions to
problems we found in the UK, are just different enough here to be
confusing. All the more because you would think that nearly sharing a
language should make it easy. It's kinda like permenant *brain fog*.
The bonus is that travel really does broaden the mind. You will find
that accepting the fact that the answers to problems can be different,
in different countries, helps you to realise that your own ideas
aren't necessarily the ONLY ideas, and may not even be the best ideas.
It's liberating.

Australia is almost an English speaking country, and I imagine you
will have some of these feelings yourself.

For my part, I treasure them. The whole thing is a voyage of discovery
that leaves me feeling *more* than I was before ... and priviledged
too.

The biggest single issue for me is the people I have left behind.
Parents, siblings, friends and my children (it's a long story, best
told another time)

So having decided to put 5000 miles between us, the single most
important issue was how to shorten the distance. In our case, it's a
reasonable plane ride (10 hours incl. one change) and is affordable,
so the kids can visit regularly. The journey to Aus. is a much longer
and pricier one.

We have set up a phone link so the boys (and anyone else) can call for
the cost of a local call in the UK, and I can call them free.

Email accounts help too .... but we are doing other things as well. I
started an on-line journal which both kids, and the rest of the family
enjoy reading and commenting on. Old fashoined letters and regular
small parcels help .... I gave Tom an mp3 player, and he sends me the
SD card to change the music for him .... we also set up a *Geocaching*
Travel Bug (ask) to get from them to me.

It all helps. In your case, do it your own way, but keep the
communication open.

To give the move a fair chance to work, I found I had to commit to it
100%, that is .... no going back. This doesn't mean I couldn't go
back, simply that I abandoned any idea of doing so. None of that
implies one needs to give up family and friends, nor to lose contact
with them ..... but enjoy your new friends too. Don't allow
*homesickness* any houseroom .... you ARE home

In the end, as well as asking whether or not you should do this, ask
yourself too how you will feel if you don't do it. If your answer is
that you are, and should remain, happy in Canada, then stay and have
no regrets. If not ...... hang on and enjoy the ride.

hth

steveb


Fabulous post, thanks so much. You're dead on about those cultural
differences even though it's an English speaking country. It took a full
week and a bit of tears on my part because I felt like a fish out of
water but after I got my bearings and stuck to it like a good little
Canadian, I fell in love with the place and my thoughts are consumed with
going back.

However I need to think about my kids. I'd be ripping them away from
family and friends and a whole way of life so I want to do what's right
not only for myself but for them. Anyways, I have a couple months to
make a decision but it's going to be huge if I do decide to move. I'd
have to sell most of my belongings, which to some isn't such a big deal
but to a single Mom, it's a big part of me. Oi.

Christine


Moving with your kids to try to provide a better life for them is far
different from abandoning them and moving an ocean away.


Ooo I missed reading that part. Eek.

Christine


 




Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
misc.kids FAQ on Breastfeeding Past the First Year [email protected] Info and FAQ's 0 September 29th 04 05:17 AM
debunking the hysterical lies and downright deceit of the anti-circumcision cult. decurian Pregnancy 0 September 1st 04 04:42 AM
misc.kids FAQ on Breastfeeding Past the First Year [email protected] Info and FAQ's 0 August 29th 04 05:28 AM
Slouching relieves back pain? Todd Gastaldo Pregnancy 0 August 6th 04 02:55 PM
misc.kids FAQ on Breastfeeding Past the First Year [email protected] Info and FAQ's 0 December 15th 03 09:42 AM


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 10:10 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ©2004-2024 ParentingBanter.com.
The comments are property of their posters.