After school activities - am I over doing it?

My first grader is doing ballet (45 mins/wk), tap (45 mins/wk),
classical vocal music (1 hr/wk), girls scout brownies (45 mins/wk),
swimming (2 hrs/wk), violin (45 mins/wk), soccer (1 hr/wk), kumon math
and reading (4 hrs/wk), painting (30 mins/wk) and bible school (2 hrs/
wk).

We are able to manage all these each week along with a play date or
two, and trips to library. I work outside the home but between me and
her dad, we are managing fairly decently all these activities. She's
asking me for tennis lessons now. With the exception of kumon math,
she's doing everything else out of her own interest. Are we doing too
much too soon? As a parent, what should I do - encourage or limit her
activities? Since she's not complaining, tiring out, or bored with any
of these, should we just continue on? Other moms and dads out there
with small kids in big schedules? How do you keep up?

Thanks for taking time to share your opinions!

AM

In article .com,
"AM" wrote:

My first grader is doing ballet (45 mins/wk), tap (45 mins/wk),
classical vocal music (1 hr/wk), girls scout brownies (45 mins/wk),
swimming (2 hrs/wk), violin (45 mins/wk), soccer (1 hr/wk), kumon math
and reading (4 hrs/wk), painting (30 mins/wk) and bible school (2 hrs/
wk).

We are able to manage all these each week along with a play date or
two, and trips to library. I work outside the home but between me and
her dad, we are managing fairly decently all these activities.

Um -- how??

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"Parenthood is like the modern stone washing process for denim jeans. You may
start out crisp, neat and tough, but you end up pale, limp and wrinkled."
Kerry Cue

AM wrote:
With the exception of kumon math,
she's doing everything else out of her own interest. Are we doing too
much too soon? As a parent, what should I do - encourage or limit her
activities? Since she's not complaining, tiring out, or bored with any
of these, should we just continue on? Other moms and dads out there
with small kids in big schedules? How do you keep up?


Does she have any *unscheduled* time for free play or relaxing?
I'd be concerned that she's eventually going to burn out from all
of this.

Laura

"AM" wrote in message
oups.com...
My first grader is doing ballet (45 mins/wk), tap (45 mins/wk),
classical vocal music (1 hr/wk), girls scout brownies (45 mins/wk),
swimming (2 hrs/wk), violin (45 mins/wk), soccer (1 hr/wk), kumon math
and reading (4 hrs/wk), painting (30 mins/wk) and bible school (2 hrs/
wk).

Are you homeschooling? I can't imagine a first grader being in school 30
hours a week, then having approx 14 hours a week of other activities and not
totally falling apart. Heck, I'D fall apart on that schedule! Not to mention
that almost every activity on the list is something which requires practice
to progress. One violin lesson a week won't teach a child to play violin. It
takes daily practice to do that. Based on her activities, she probably
should be practicing at home about 3 hours a day (usually a child should be
practicing at least 15-30 minutes a day for a dance class, music class, or
most sports if not longer, I know Kumon has daily home activities, she
should be reading or being read to daily, plus school homework), and I'm
guessing she doesn't have the time and energy to do so.

I'd seriously suggest picking a few favorite activities and focusing on
them. She'll progress faster and enjoy the classes more if she has time to
practice, and I suspect that she could really use some downtime and time
with friends in less structured settings. It will also help reduce your
stress. Yes, it's good for children to have things to do and lots of
exposure, but it's also good to have time to do nothing.

On Mar 29, 2:06 am, "AM" wrote:
My first grader is doing ballet (45 mins/wk), tap (45 mins/wk),
classical vocal music (1 hr/wk), girls scout brownies (45 mins/wk),
swimming (2 hrs/wk), violin (45 mins/wk), soccer (1 hr/wk), kumon math
and reading (4 hrs/wk), painting (30 mins/wk) and bible school (2 hrs/
wk).

We are able to manage all these each week along with a play date or
two, and trips to library. I work outside the home but between me and
her dad, we are managing fairly decently all these activities. She's
asking me for tennis lessons now. With the exception of kumon math,
she's doing everything else out of her own interest. Are we doing too
much too soon? As a parent, what should I do - encourage or limit her
activities? Since she's not complaining, tiring out, or bored with any
of these, should we just continue on? Other moms and dads out there
with small kids in big schedules? How do you keep up?

Thanks for taking time to share your opinions!

AM

I have small kids with small schedules, so I'm not able to answer
anything about how to manage a schedule of 1 activity/day (our
bugagoo has been practice times outside of class, my own desire to
limit time spent in a car to 1 hour/day, and ensuring some amount of
equity between sibling activities).

Is your second child equally involved in activities?

Caledonia

AM wrote:
My first grader is doing ballet (45 mins/wk), tap (45 mins/wk),
classical vocal music (1 hr/wk), girls scout brownies (45 mins/wk),
swimming (2 hrs/wk), violin (45 mins/wk), soccer (1 hr/wk), kumon math
and reading (4 hrs/wk), painting (30 mins/wk) and bible school (2 hrs/
wk).

We are able to manage all these each week along with a play date or
two, and trips to library. I work outside the home but between me and
her dad, we are managing fairly decently all these activities. She's
asking me for tennis lessons now. With the exception of kumon math,
she's doing everything else out of her own interest. Are we doing too
much too soon? As a parent, what should I do - encourage or limit her
activities? Since she's not complaining, tiring out, or bored with any
of these, should we just continue on? Other moms and dads out there
with small kids in big schedules? How do you keep up?

I think it depends. How much time per week does she
have that is unscheduled, where she engages in free play,
socializing with the family, etc. She needs a substantial
chunk of time devoted to that sort of thing. If she doesn't
have it, then she's overscheduled now. And when is she
going to bed on school nights?
If she's got plenty of free play time (though I'm
having a hard time seeing how), then she might be fine
right at this moment, but you may find challenges down
the road. Most of those activities ramp up in intensity
as she gets older, plus homework is likely to get significantly
more intense. If and when that happens, she can drop activities.
That can be difficult for some, however, so you should be
prepared for how you're going to handle it. You may be
creating expectations in her that will become difficult
to fulfill in the future.

Best wishes,
Ericka

My first grader is doing ballet (45 mins/wk), tap (45 mins/wk),
classical vocal music (1 hr/wk), girls scout brownies (45 mins/wk),
swimming (2 hrs/wk), violin (45 mins/wk), soccer (1 hr/wk), kumon math
and reading (4 hrs/wk), painting (30 mins/wk) and bible school (2 hrs/
wk).

That's 10 activities!

I really think that is too much. I've come across some places recommending 1
activity, which I suspect is restrictive for most kids, but I'd guess 3ish
would be reasonable. She's probably not getting the best out of her
activities at the current rate, is she practicing outside of class? For some
of those activities the practice is essential, particularly violin, in my
mind, the class is wasted if the practice isn't being done. I would
seriously cut down, what does she show most interest in, I like the mix you
have, but I'd do dance, or soccer, not both and I might hold off on multiple
music things and stick with one (probably violin, it's harder to pick up
later).

Cheers

Anne

Ericka Kammerer wrote:

AM wrote:
My first grader is doing ballet (45 mins/wk), tap (45 mins/wk),
classical vocal music (1 hr/wk), girls scout brownies (45 mins/wk),
swimming (2 hrs/wk), violin (45 mins/wk), soccer (1 hr/wk), kumon math
and reading (4 hrs/wk), painting (30 mins/wk) and bible school (2 hrs/
wk).

We are able to manage all these each week along with a play date or
two, and trips to library. I work outside the home but between me and
her dad, we are managing fairly decently all these activities. She's
asking me for tennis lessons now. With the exception of kumon math,
she's doing everything else out of her own interest. Are we doing too
much too soon? As a parent, what should I do - encourage or limit her
activities? Since she's not complaining, tiring out, or bored with any
of these, should we just continue on? Other moms and dads out there
with small kids in big schedules? How do you keep up?

This sounds a little bit like a troll to me because I don't really see
how a first grader could do all these things. My children had
activities out the wazoo, and even WE did not do so many things and
not in the first grade.

We had (in 2nd to 5th grade), ballet after school (one or two years),
gymnastics after school (two years, and both were at school and once a
week), 4H (after school where they went on the bus from school), swim
team three days a week, piano lessons (which they did start early),
Girl Scouts (on Sat), and ice skating (weekends and one week night
after piano and swim team). And except for coaching the swim team, I
was basically a SAHM.

My kindergarten child did the swimming with her sisters (because my
husband was military and was away), but she was too young for Brownies
or 4-H. She started piano fairly early, and did sometimes ride
(horses) in the summer with them, and she did 4H and horses later on,
but by that time gymnastics and ballet were not available to her.

I think it depends. How much time per week does she
have that is unscheduled, where she engages in free play,
socializing with the family, etc. She needs a substantial
chunk of time devoted to that sort of thing. If she doesn't
have it, then she's overscheduled now. And when is she
going to bed on school nights?
If she's got plenty of free play time (though I'm
having a hard time seeing how), then she might be fine
right at this moment, but you may find challenges down
the road. Most of those activities ramp up in intensity
as she gets older, plus homework is likely to get significantly
more intense. If and when that happens, she can drop activities.
That can be difficult for some, however, so you should be
prepared for how you're going to handle it. You may be
creating expectations in her that will become difficult
to fulfill in the future.

I'd let her do one of each type of activity. That is - one kind of
dancing (either tap or ballet), one kind of music, and one sport
(sports seem to take the most amount of time although I'm not sure if
the swimming is lessons [which I would continue] or a swim team
thing), and Brownies. And then one other thing she could try to see
if she likes it.

Because as Donna points out - music requires a practicing commitment.
My grandson who was doing trumpet, violin and guitar has dropped
trumpet because he really likes the guitar and didn't have enough time
to practice all three instruments.

My dd#2's kids are into a lot of things and they do the kumon too (but
just the math). They've done about all the sports there are, and have
had a lot of private lessons for sports. But I don't think they were
that active in first grade.

There are some things that are good to start early. Instrumental
music is one, because it takes so long to get competant. And some
types of sports or physical activities, because if you do not start
them early, then you will be behind all your contemporaries and will
not have the skills to compete. Some types of physical activity like
gymnastics, figure skating or dancing are in that category. But some
other activities will not suffer if left until later, and I put art
into that category.

Hi All:

I really appreciate your input. Right now, with the exception of kumon
(15-20 mins. a day) and occassionally violin, I don't make her
practice anything else. She gets it easily without trying too hard.
Anyway, she has time after school -- she does not get any homework.
She is made to sit in second-grade for language arts, spanish,
reading, and math, so I don't try to teach her much else at home. I
don't know what to do with her -- if she's not doing activities
outside of home, she gets too creative playing by herself -- one time
she set up a middle-age style laundry with a bucket, bat to pound
clothes, some salt+candle bits+oil mix (??) for soap of sorts, then
one time she was playing spa with peanut butter mask, and one time
made a sculpture with paper mache (made out of newspaper, glue,
glitter, flour, sugar and God knows what else), and what I am to do?
Instead of saying no to everything, I am trying to keep her busy...
well if she is not making these the out-of-the-world creative wonders
then she starts throwing amazing tantrums. What am I to do? May be I
am the one who's feeling the burn-out keeping up with her. You know,
even an uneventful trip to the park sparks something in her -- she
wanted to build a monkey bar contraption on laundry drying racks jsut
like the one in park -- it is hard, maybe I am avoiding the real issue
here by keeping her super busy. I don't know what to do. Thanks for
listening.

LOL,
AM

Rosalie B. wrote:

Ericka Kammerer wrote:

AM wrote:
My first grader is doing ballet (45 mins/wk), tap (45 mins/wk),
classical vocal music (1 hr/wk), girls scout brownies (45 mins/wk),
swimming (2 hrs/wk), violin (45 mins/wk), soccer (1 hr/wk), kumon math
and reading (4 hrs/wk), painting (30 mins/wk) and bible school (2 hrs/
wk).

PS - I wonder about whether a child of this age should be doing
classical vocal music at all.

How age appropriate is that?.

We had (in 2nd to 5th grade), ballet after school (one or two years),
gymnastics after school (two years, and both were at school and once a
week), 4H (after school where they went on the bus from school), swim
team three days a week, piano lessons (which they did start early),
Girl Scouts (on Sat), and ice skating (weekends and one week night
after piano and swim team). And except for coaching the swim team, I
was basically a SAHM.

My kindergarten child did the swimming with her sisters (because my
husband was military and was away), but she was too young for Brownies
or 4-H. She started piano fairly early, and did sometimes ride
(horses) in the summer with them, and she did 4H and horses later on,
but by that time gymnastics and ballet were not available to her.

I don't think I would even count Bible school if the parents are
going to church along with her


I think it depends. How much time per week does she
have that is unscheduled, where she engages in free play,
socializing with the family, etc. She needs a substantial
chunk of time devoted to that sort of thing. If she doesn't
have it, then she's overscheduled now. And when is she
going to bed on school nights?
If she's got plenty of free play time (though I'm
having a hard time seeing how), then she might be fine
right at this moment, but you may find challenges down
the road. Most of those activities ramp up in intensity
as she gets older, plus homework is likely to get significantly
more intense. If and when that happens, she can drop activities.
That can be difficult for some, however, so you should be
prepared for how you're going to handle it. You may be
creating expectations in her that will become difficult
to fulfill in the future.

I'd let her do one of each type of activity. That is - one kind of
dancing (either tap or ballet), one kind of music, and one sport
(sports seem to take the most amount of time although I'm not sure if
the swimming is lessons [which I would continue] or a swim team
thing), and Brownies. And then one other thing she could try to see
if she likes it.

Because as Donna points out - music requires a practicing commitment.
My grandson who was doing trumpet, violin and guitar has dropped
trumpet because he really likes the guitar and didn't have enough time
to practice all three instruments.

My dd#2's kids are into a lot of things and they do the kumon too (but
just the math). They've done about all the sports there are, and have
had a lot of private lessons for sports. But I don't think they were
that active in first grade.

There are some things that are good to start early. Instrumental
music is one, because it takes so long to get competant. And some
types of sports or physical activities, because if you do not start
them early, then you will be behind all your contemporaries and will
not have the skills to compete. Some types of physical activity like
gymnastics, figure skating or dancing are in that category. But some
other activities will not suffer if left until later, and I put art
into that category.