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Giving birth



 
 
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  #1  
Old January 27th 05, 07:26 PM
Mark & Ana Jones
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Default Giving birth

Lately I have been thinking about giving birth and became really afraid. I
have never been able to watch it on TV and always thought of it being the
worst horror pain experience ever.
I think it's got to do with the idea of baby going through small opening of
vagina and cervix. Jesus, I still can't believe it's possible!!!
So I decided to be brave and look for some pics of homebirth on the net and
boy was that a mistake.....Now I am even more scared and I suppose most of
women go through it with "no big deal" attitude so I feel like a real wimp!
I am afraid that when it comes to it I might just refuse to do any pushing
or other things I am suppose to do.It's silly, I know.
I am pleading with all to describe more positive feelings and thoughts
through out the labour.There must be some.

Thanks

EED- August 2005
We think it might be a girl!

Ana Jones




  #2  
Old January 27th 05, 07:44 PM
Elizabeth H Bonesteel
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In article ,
Mark & Ana Jones wrote:
So I decided to be brave and look for some pics of homebirth on the net and
boy was that a mistake.....Now I am even more scared and I suppose most of
women go through it with "no big deal" attitude so I feel like a real wimp!


Hi Ana,

I don't think most women go through it with a "no big deal" attitude -
maybe some do, but the first time it's not unusual to have some fears.

One thing to keep in mind is that fear actually makes pain worse. I don't
know how you best cope with fear; but for me, facts always help. Skip
the homebirth pictures and find some books on labor and delivery - what
is actually happening to your body and your baby, and what you can expect
to be feeling.

The labor experience is drastically different for everyone; but I'll tell
you that in my case being afraid simply didn't enter into it. I was so
focused on what was happening in the moment that I wasn't really thinking
about the consequences of what I was doing - that I was actually giving
birth to a baby. My body was SO clear and SO loud with its signals that
in the moment pushing or not pushing or changing positions seemed completely
logical.

Did it hurt? Yes. But it was a funny sort of pain. I think it was Ericka
who once described it as the sort of pain a marathon runner might get when
pushing her muscles to the limit - the pain of a muscle doing what it's
supposed to do to the best of its ability. I've broken bones before, and
I've always had an instant sense that something was wrong. Labor was not
like that - it hurt, but I knew all the time that my body was doing the
right thing.

Keep in mind, too, that you don't have to do without pain management. Some
people find that relaxation exercises work wonders. Others opt for pain
medication during labor. There are pros and cons to all approaches; learn
all you can. Knowledge is your friend.

Not everybody enjoys childbirth or finds it a fulfilling experience; most
of us are in it for the baby, after all, not the transient process of
bringing that child into the world! Don't be hard on yourself for being
afraid. You are human, and this is big time unfamiliar territory.

I will say that giving birth was the most astonishing, amazing, way cool
single event that's ever happened to me. But it all pales in comparison
to watching my daughter grow.

Good luck, and cut yourself some slack.

Liz
mom to Emily (5/25/04)
--

"No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings. Man's reason and
spirit have often solved the seemingly unsolvable - and we believe they
can do it again." -- John F. Kennedy, 6/10/1963
  #3  
Old January 27th 05, 07:55 PM
Melania
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I just googled pics of homebirth, too, since you made me curious, and
low and behold! Pics of Monika's homebirth of Niel! WOW. I absolutely
adore the shot of Clara approving of Niel's first nurse - that is
great. I teared up! I got excited looking forward to our baby's birth,
remembering ds's birth, just looking at these pictures.

I told my doula we didn't want pictures of me in labour and delivering,
because I always think the look (and sounds) of agony on those birth
shows and in shots afterwards are so untrue to what everyone is
actually experiencing at the time. Indeed, we had no pictures during
labour. We do have step-by-step shots of J being born, and I was so
pleased with them that I had copies made for the whole series (5 or 6
shots) and presented them to doctor, doula, and grandmother in nice red
envelopes!

Don't be misled by birth story programs (in fact, don't watch any more
of them, for your sanity's sake! They're TERRIBLE) and photos of
grunting or screaming or moaning women, taken out of context. Don't get
me wrong: it hurts. But I had never experienced much in the way of pain
before, and I did *fine.* Contractions are work toward a goal - the
birth of your child - and knowing *why* it hurts is a great
reassurance. You get to a point, or at least I did, where you go "into"
and work with the pain through each contraction, knowing that a) it
will end soon and b) you'll be one contraction closer to the end of
labour!

I should be very clear: I did have an epidural after having been in
active labour for about 13 hours, during which time I progressed from 3
to 5 cms. Active labour had followed about 18 hours of early labour,
during which time I got no sleep, so I was overtired when it came time
to work. I was put on pitocin to augment the labour, and 1.5 hours
later got the epidural, mostly to help me sleep. The epidural either
came at a coincidentally crucial time, or helped me relax enough to
dilate faster, b/c 20 minutes after it was in I was at 7-7.5 cms, and 2
hours (of blessed sleep) later I was fully dilated. Since from that
point on I wasn't feeling pain (but I WAS feeling contractions, and my
pushing was very effective, I don't feel the epi impacted that at all
for me), someone else will have to reassure you about the pain during
delivery!

I don't plan on having any meds with #2. I don't foresee the need for
another epi. Remember that your body was made to do this, and your
vagina and cervix are up for the task! Heck, they're designed for it!
So many women who have experienced bad pain from other things rank
childbirth as being not as bad, definitely not "the worst horror pain
experience ever." And the pain stops between contractions!

I'll stop rambling and let someone else do a better job of reassuring
you and explaining the childbirth experience. But try not to stress
yourself out about it!
best,
Melania
Mom to Joffre (Jan 11, 2003)
and #2 (May 21, 2005)

  #4  
Old January 27th 05, 08:13 PM
Irrational Number
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Mark & Ana Jones wrote:

Lately I have been thinking about giving birth and became really afraid. I
have never been able to watch it on TV and always thought of it being the
worst horror pain experience ever.


Totally, totally normal fears!!!

So I decided to be brave and look for some pics of homebirth on the net and
boy was that a mistake.....Now I am even more scared and I suppose most of
women go through it with "no big deal" attitude so I feel like a real wimp!


Excuse me... Most women certainly DO NOT think
it's "no big deal"!! It's unknown, something we don't
see every day, and it's perfectly all right to be scared.

And it doesn't matter in what form the birth takes. I
had a scheduled c-section and I was absolutely
terrified.

I am afraid that when it comes to it I might just refuse to do any pushing
or other things I am suppose to do.It's silly, I know.
I am pleading with all to describe more positive feelings and thoughts
through out the labour.There must be some.


I can only describe my experience, which was a scheduled
c-section. The hospital staff was wonderful, friendly,
efficient, competent. My obstetrician, in whom I trust
absolutely, was solid as a rock, as always. My husband
stayed by my side at all times and held my hand. My
parents and my mom-in-law were all waiting outside.

The birth itself was unusual; there was a lot of rocking
of the operating table and lots of pushing and grunting
from the doctors and nurses as they were getting my
Pillbug out. I will NEVER ever forget his first cries, nor
my first smell of him. They are imprinted in me forever.

Major abdominal surgery and recovery aside, it was the
most wonderful day of my life, finally getting to hold
my Pillbug.

-- Anita --
(who must have forgotten the fear, since I'm
doing it all again in May...)


  #5  
Old January 27th 05, 08:44 PM
Elle
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Mark & Ana Jones wrote:
...I suppose most of
women go through it with "no big deal" attitude so I feel like a real

wimp!

Someone might think that I have a no big deal attitude but it is
actually denial LOL.

I am afraid that when it comes to it I might just refuse to do any

pushing
or other things I am suppose to do.It's silly, I know.
I am pleading with all to describe more positive feelings and

thoughts
through out the labour.There must be some.


I worry about that too, I am worried that I will just completely lose
control and be a basket case, not able to make a decision or even get
the baby out. Like I will just give up in the middle of it. And I am
totally not that type in real life, I don't know why I am afraid I will
be that way.

One thing I found reassuring is to hear from nurses, birth attendants
etc that really it has been a long time since they have seen anything
new. They have so much expertise helping women through birth that they
will find ways to help you too if you get stuck.

Don't be afraid, take the time you have to educate yourself but don't
obssess. I will also try to take my own advice

Elle
2/16/2005

  #6  
Old January 27th 05, 09:26 PM
Cam & Shane
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Hi Ana

I too was scared but the more I learnt about my body and what hormones are
involved with labour and delivery the easier it became for me in my head.

What ever will happen will happen. You don't have a lot of control. The
experts around you will look after you and get you through this. Get to
know who will be helping you during your labour and delivery - let them know
what you don't want and do want. Remember they usually have more drugs than
you have pain. If you choose the no drug route know that no one has died
from the pain - it is only temporary.

I went through it all with no drugs. The good thing is that contractions
aren't consistent. In between you are normal :-) (at least for the first
half) My friend who stayed with me was blown away that I would go from
"aghhhhh" to holding a normal conversation in seconds. It was a wonderful
experience for me. Just let your DH know that his words during all this
make a HUGE difference how you handle it all.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy - it just gets better from here
:-)))

Camille & Aiden (almost 9 months)

"Mark & Ana Jones" wrote in message
...
Lately I have been thinking about giving birth and became really afraid. I
have never been able to watch it on TV and always thought of it being the
worst horror pain experience ever.
I think it's got to do with the idea of baby going through small opening
of
vagina and cervix. Jesus, I still can't believe it's possible!!!


That's what it's designed for....


So I decided to be brave and look for some pics of homebirth on the net
and
boy was that a mistake.....Now I am even more scared and I suppose most of
women go through it with "no big deal" attitude so I feel like a real
wimp!


I was too - the first thing I asked the doctor after I found out I was
pregnant was "Where do you get an epidural?"

I am afraid that when it comes to it I might just refuse to do any pushing
or other things I am suppose to do.It's silly, I know.
I am pleading with all to describe more positive feelings and thoughts
through out the labour.There must be some.

Thanks

EED- August 2005
We think it might be a girl!

Ana Jones






  #7  
Old January 27th 05, 09:28 PM
Wildwookie
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Hi Ana

I'm scared too.

I'm trying to be positive and have been reading up on things to help
such as positions, moving around TENS etc.

I'm due this Saturday so hopefully I can offer some advice soon, in
the meantime take note of what the people say in this group they have
so much wonderful advice to offer and have helped me throughout this,
my first pregnancy.

Denise
#1 Due in 2 days!


On Thu, 27 Jan 2005 18:26:37 -0000, "Mark & Ana Jones"
wrote:

Lately I have been thinking about giving birth and became really afraid. I
have never been able to watch it on TV and always thought of it being the
worst horror pain experience ever.
I think it's got to do with the idea of baby going through small opening of
vagina and cervix. Jesus, I still can't believe it's possible!!!
So I decided to be brave and look for some pics of homebirth on the net and
boy was that a mistake.....Now I am even more scared and I suppose most of
women go through it with "no big deal" attitude so I feel like a real wimp!
I am afraid that when it comes to it I might just refuse to do any pushing
or other things I am suppose to do.It's silly, I know.
I am pleading with all to describe more positive feelings and thoughts
through out the labour.There must be some.

Thanks

EED- August 2005
We think it might be a girl!

Ana Jones




  #8  
Old January 27th 05, 10:17 PM
Larry McMahan
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Melania writes:

: I just googled pics of homebirth, too, since you made me curious, and
: low and behold! Pics of Monika's homebirth of Niel! WOW. I absolutely
: adore the shot of Clara approving of Niel's first nurse - that is
: great. I teared up! I got excited looking forward to our baby's birth,
: remembering ds's birth, just looking at these pictures.

Hey! That's my kids! Ana, if you want to see, it is at:
http://home.comcast.net/~l.mcmahan/niel.html

I'd be glad to answer any questions.

Larry
  #9  
Old January 27th 05, 10:20 PM
Melania
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Just to say, Larry, that you have two of the most beautiful kids, the
birth story was wonderful, the pics are wonderful, and seeing Clara
there made me really reevaluate my own attitudes towards having older
siblings present for the birth.

It really made my day to see it.

All the best,
Melania
Mom to Joffre (Jan 11, 2003)
and #2 (edd May 21, 2005)

  #10  
Old January 27th 05, 10:29 PM
Larry McMahan
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Damn! you post fast! I just posted this.

Cheers,
Larry

Melania writes:
: Just to say, Larry, that you have two of the most beautiful kids, the
: birth story was wonderful, the pics are wonderful, and seeing Clara
: there made me really reevaluate my own attitudes towards having older
: siblings present for the birth.

And you should see them now. Clara is gorgeous, and Niel, who has never
cut his hair, looks like Prince Valient.

: It really made my day to see it.

: All the best,
: Melania
: Mom to Joffre (Jan 11, 2003)
: and #2 (edd May 21, 2005)

 




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