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#11
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Victory!
"Soprano" wrote in message ... teachrmama wrote: "Soprano" wrote in message ... Gini wrote: "Bob Whiteside" wrote "Soprano" wrote After holding on to these Child Support papers for a year, I was able to give them to my ex tonight, on his birthday, and the eve of my namesday, so he could fill his part out. Yay! Well that sure is better than handing him the papers at his mother's funeral or while he is in the hospital for major heart surgery. I will never understand how some women can celebrate being downright nasty as some sort of moral victory. == Heh--Especially when the kids are going to grow up someday and read usenet. I wasn't trying to be nasty. It os soooooo important for you to find a way to communicate with the father of your child. Your daughter is 4 years old--you are looking at a minimum of 14 years of money battles. And government control. If you were still married and either you or your husband lost his job, you would tighten your belts and get through the rough patch, and the government would say nothing about it. Since you are divorced, and filing for CS, YOU still get to tighten your belt and get through rough patches--but your ex no longer has that luxury. CSE *INSISTS* that he pay $X per month no matter what. And there are outrageous consequences if he fails--whether it is his fault or not. And YOU will not have the luxury of being kind and saying "We'll get by on less this month." It is no longer YOUR CHOICE--the government has taken over! I communicate with her father and she is 6. You chose not to comment on anything else I said. By filing for CS rather than coming to an agreement together you put your ex in a position where he can never be ill, never have an accident, never lose his job without accruing arrearages for nonpayment of child support--and if the illness, injury, or layoff lasts for too long, he will be held guilty of a felony just because he cannot pay what he does not have! In Ca, if the court orders it, payments go through the state system--and you will not have the power to say that he does not need to pay for a couple of months until he gets back on his feet. You will have put all control over that into the hands of the CS system. I am not saying that he should not support his child--but why does support have to be a certain amount of money, determined by people who neither know nor care about your child, you, or the father? If you communicate with him, sit down with him and show him what the state will take from him each month--then work out an agreement where he will pay an amount agreeable to both of you, and you wnd he will both keep records. You can always file later if he does not live up to his end of the agreement. Wh, exactly, is it that His Grace wants you to give up your power to a government agency? Doesn't he think you are capable of handling things on your own? |
#12
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Victory!
teachrmama wrote:
"Soprano" wrote in message ... teachrmama wrote: "Soprano" wrote in message ... Gini wrote: "Bob Whiteside" wrote "Soprano" wrote After holding on to these Child Support papers for a year, I was able to give them to my ex tonight, on his birthday, and the eve of my namesday, so he could fill his part out. Yay! Well that sure is better than handing him the papers at his mother's funeral or while he is in the hospital for major heart surgery. I will never understand how some women can celebrate being downright nasty as some sort of moral victory. == Heh--Especially when the kids are going to grow up someday and read usenet. I wasn't trying to be nasty. It os soooooo important for you to find a way to communicate with the father of your child. Your daughter is 4 years old--you are looking at a minimum of 14 years of money battles. And government control. If you were still married and either you or your husband lost his job, you would tighten your belts and get through the rough patch, and the government would say nothing about it. Since you are divorced, and filing for CS, YOU still get to tighten your belt and get through rough patches--but your ex no longer has that luxury. CSE *INSISTS* that he pay $X per month no matter what. And there are outrageous consequences if he fails--whether it is his fault or not. And YOU will not have the luxury of being kind and saying "We'll get by on less this month." It is no longer YOUR CHOICE--the government has taken over! I communicate with her father and she is 6. You chose not to comment on anything else I said. By filing for CS rather than coming to an agreement together you put your ex in a position where he can never be ill, never have an accident, never lose his job without accruing arrearages for nonpayment of child support--and if the illness, injury, or layoff lasts for too long, he will be held guilty of a felony just because he cannot pay what he does not have! In Ca, if the court orders it, payments go through the state system--and you will not have the power to say that he does not need to pay for a couple of months until he gets back on his feet. You will have put all control over that into the hands of the CS system. I am not saying that he should not support his child--but why does support have to be a certain amount of money, determined by people who neither know nor care about your child, you, or the father? If you communicate with him, sit down with him and show him what the state will take from him each month--then work out an agreement where he will pay an amount agreeable to both of you, and you wnd he will both keep records. You can always file later if he does not live up to his end of the agreement. Wh, exactly, is it that His Grace wants you to give up your power to a government agency? Doesn't he think you are capable of handling things on your own? His Grace cares about me and knows my circumstances. Perhaps His Grace thinks it would be better for me to let a government agency handle my ex, if you know what I mean. Again, I would be willing to discuss this in personal confidence in private email. |
#13
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Victory!
"Soprano" wrote in message ... teachrmama wrote: "Soprano" wrote in message ... teachrmama wrote: "Soprano" wrote in message ... Gini wrote: "Bob Whiteside" wrote "Soprano" wrote After holding on to these Child Support papers for a year, I was able to give them to my ex tonight, on his birthday, and the eve of my namesday, so he could fill his part out. Yay! Well that sure is better than handing him the papers at his mother's funeral or while he is in the hospital for major heart surgery. I will never understand how some women can celebrate being downright nasty as some sort of moral victory. == Heh--Especially when the kids are going to grow up someday and read usenet. I wasn't trying to be nasty. It os soooooo important for you to find a way to communicate with the father of your child. Your daughter is 4 years old--you are looking at a minimum of 14 years of money battles. And government control. If you were still married and either you or your husband lost his job, you would tighten your belts and get through the rough patch, and the government would say nothing about it. Since you are divorced, and filing for CS, YOU still get to tighten your belt and get through rough patches--but your ex no longer has that luxury. CSE *INSISTS* that he pay $X per month no matter what. And there are outrageous consequences if he fails--whether it is his fault or not. And YOU will not have the luxury of being kind and saying "We'll get by on less this month." It is no longer YOUR CHOICE--the government has taken over! I communicate with her father and she is 6. You chose not to comment on anything else I said. By filing for CS rather than coming to an agreement together you put your ex in a position where he can never be ill, never have an accident, never lose his job without accruing arrearages for nonpayment of child support--and if the illness, injury, or layoff lasts for too long, he will be held guilty of a felony just because he cannot pay what he does not have! In Ca, if the court orders it, payments go through the state system--and you will not have the power to say that he does not need to pay for a couple of months until he gets back on his feet. You will have put all control over that into the hands of the CS system. I am not saying that he should not support his child--but why does support have to be a certain amount of money, determined by people who neither know nor care about your child, you, or the father? If you communicate with him, sit down with him and show him what the state will take from him each month--then work out an agreement where he will pay an amount agreeable to both of you, and you wnd he will both keep records. You can always file later if he does not live up to his end of the agreement. Wh, exactly, is it that His Grace wants you to give up your power to a government agency? Doesn't he think you are capable of handling things on your own? His Grace cares about me and knows my circumstances. Perhaps His Grace thinks it would be better for me to let a government agency handle my ex, if you know what I mean. Again, I would be willing to discuss this in personal confidence in private email. Perhaps. I don't know you or your circumstances. I do know the pressure to have to pay when there is no money to pay destroys relationships and breeds resentments. I also know that, the vast majority of the time, children function better with both parents in their lives--and even better when the parents are able to communicate with each other without resentments clouding their relationship. Maybe you and His Grace have already sat down with dad and discussed the importance of both his presence in your child's life and his financial responsibility to her. Maybe he didn't listen. Again, I don't know. But if His Grace is one of those who thinks that a child is owed a certain lifestyle, no matter what it does to the noncustodial parent, I will have to disagree with him. And THAT is also the main disagreement I have with the CS system. A child deserves to have his/her needs met. He/She is NOT owed a life high on the hog. |
#14
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Victory!
teachrmama wrote:
"Soprano" wrote in message ... teachrmama wrote: "Soprano" wrote in message ... teachrmama wrote: "Soprano" wrote in message ... Gini wrote: "Bob Whiteside" wrote "Soprano" wrote After holding on to these Child Support papers for a year, I was able to give them to my ex tonight, on his birthday, and the eve of my namesday, so he could fill his part out. Yay! Well that sure is better than handing him the papers at his mother's funeral or while he is in the hospital for major heart surgery. I will never understand how some women can celebrate being downright nasty as some sort of moral victory. == Heh--Especially when the kids are going to grow up someday and read usenet. I wasn't trying to be nasty. It os soooooo important for you to find a way to communicate with the father of your child. Your daughter is 4 years old--you are looking at a minimum of 14 years of money battles. And government control. If you were still married and either you or your husband lost his job, you would tighten your belts and get through the rough patch, and the government would say nothing about it. Since you are divorced, and filing for CS, YOU still get to tighten your belt and get through rough patches--but your ex no longer has that luxury. CSE *INSISTS* that he pay $X per month no matter what. And there are outrageous consequences if he fails--whether it is his fault or not. And YOU will not have the luxury of being kind and saying "We'll get by on less this month." It is no longer YOUR CHOICE--the government has taken over! I communicate with her father and she is 6. You chose not to comment on anything else I said. By filing for CS rather than coming to an agreement together you put your ex in a position where he can never be ill, never have an accident, never lose his job without accruing arrearages for nonpayment of child support--and if the illness, injury, or layoff lasts for too long, he will be held guilty of a felony just because he cannot pay what he does not have! In Ca, if the court orders it, payments go through the state system--and you will not have the power to say that he does not need to pay for a couple of months until he gets back on his feet. You will have put all control over that into the hands of the CS system. I am not saying that he should not support his child--but why does support have to be a certain amount of money, determined by people who neither know nor care about your child, you, or the father? If you communicate with him, sit down with him and show him what the state will take from him each month--then work out an agreement where he will pay an amount agreeable to both of you, and you wnd he will both keep records. You can always file later if he does not live up to his end of the agreement. Wh, exactly, is it that His Grace wants you to give up your power to a government agency? Doesn't he think you are capable of handling things on your own? His Grace cares about me and knows my circumstances. Perhaps His Grace thinks it would be better for me to let a government agency handle my ex, if you know what I mean. Again, I would be willing to discuss this in personal confidence in private email. Perhaps. I don't know you or your circumstances. I do know the pressure to have to pay when there is no money to pay destroys relationships and breeds resentments. I also know that, the vast majority of the time, children function better with both parents in their lives--and even better when the parents are able to communicate with each other without resentments clouding their relationship. Maybe you and His Grace have already sat down with dad and discussed the importance of both his presence in your child's life and his financial responsibility to her. Maybe he didn't listen. Again, I don't know. But if His Grace is one of those who thinks that a child is owed a certain lifestyle, no matter what it does to the noncustodial parent, I will have to disagree with him. And THAT is also the main disagreement I have with the CS system. A child deserves to have his/her needs met. He/She is NOT owed a life high on the hog. Nope. His Grace is in Anchorage, AK, we are in Marin County, California. Its not about communication or resentments. Trying to manage it ourselves would build resentments. To each their own. I seriously doubt His Grace thinks a child is owed a certain lifestyle, His Grace has been a monk for 36 years, more years than I have been alive, and monks take a vow of poverty. I am not going to argue with the former head of Family Support Services. His Grace knows me and my ex's circumstances. I will listen to His Grace. |
#15
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Victory!
"Soprano" wrote in message ... teachrmama wrote: "Soprano" wrote in message ... teachrmama wrote: "Soprano" wrote in message ... teachrmama wrote: "Soprano" wrote in message ... Gini wrote: "Bob Whiteside" wrote "Soprano" wrote After holding on to these Child Support papers for a year, I was able to give them to my ex tonight, on his birthday, and the eve of my namesday, so he could fill his part out. Yay! Well that sure is better than handing him the papers at his mother's funeral or while he is in the hospital for major heart surgery. I will never understand how some women can celebrate being downright nasty as some sort of moral victory. == Heh--Especially when the kids are going to grow up someday and read usenet. I wasn't trying to be nasty. It os soooooo important for you to find a way to communicate with the father of your child. Your daughter is 4 years old--you are looking at a minimum of 14 years of money battles. And government control. If you were still married and either you or your husband lost his job, you would tighten your belts and get through the rough patch, and the government would say nothing about it. Since you are divorced, and filing for CS, YOU still get to tighten your belt and get through rough patches--but your ex no longer has that luxury. CSE *INSISTS* that he pay $X per month no matter what. And there are outrageous consequences if he fails--whether it is his fault or not. And YOU will not have the luxury of being kind and saying "We'll get by on less this month." It is no longer YOUR CHOICE--the government has taken over! I communicate with her father and she is 6. You chose not to comment on anything else I said. By filing for CS rather than coming to an agreement together you put your ex in a position where he can never be ill, never have an accident, never lose his job without accruing arrearages for nonpayment of child support--and if the illness, injury, or layoff lasts for too long, he will be held guilty of a felony just because he cannot pay what he does not have! In Ca, if the court orders it, payments go through the state system--and you will not have the power to say that he does not need to pay for a couple of months until he gets back on his feet. You will have put all control over that into the hands of the CS system. I am not saying that he should not support his child--but why does support have to be a certain amount of money, determined by people who neither know nor care about your child, you, or the father? If you communicate with him, sit down with him and show him what the state will take from him each month--then work out an agreement where he will pay an amount agreeable to both of you, and you wnd he will both keep records. You can always file later if he does not live up to his end of the agreement. Wh, exactly, is it that His Grace wants you to give up your power to a government agency? Doesn't he think you are capable of handling things on your own? His Grace cares about me and knows my circumstances. Perhaps His Grace thinks it would be better for me to let a government agency handle my ex, if you know what I mean. Again, I would be willing to discuss this in personal confidence in private email. Perhaps. I don't know you or your circumstances. I do know the pressure to have to pay when there is no money to pay destroys relationships and breeds resentments. I also know that, the vast majority of the time, children function better with both parents in their lives--and even better when the parents are able to communicate with each other without resentments clouding their relationship. Maybe you and His Grace have already sat down with dad and discussed the importance of both his presence in your child's life and his financial responsibility to her. Maybe he didn't listen. Again, I don't know. But if His Grace is one of those who thinks that a child is owed a certain lifestyle, no matter what it does to the noncustodial parent, I will have to disagree with him. And THAT is also the main disagreement I have with the CS system. A child deserves to have his/her needs met. He/She is NOT owed a life high on the hog. Nope. His Grace is in Anchorage, AK, we are in Marin County, California. Its not about communication or resentments. Trying to manage it ourselves would build resentments. To each their own. I seriously doubt His Grace thinks a child is owed a certain lifestyle, His Grace has been a monk for 36 years, more years than I have been alive, and monks take a vow of poverty. I am not going to argue with the former head of Family Support Services. His Grace knows me and my ex's circumstances. I will listen to His Grace. And that is a very important thing to consider, Soprano. We do not know your circumstances. His Grace has info you have not shared with us. We cannot help you make your decision. We can only contribute what we do based on our own experience, strength, and hope. I do understand better now where you are coming from. Is there any sort of support group you belong to? (It might be a good idea) |
#16
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Victory!
teachrmama wrote:
"Soprano" wrote in message ... teachrmama wrote: "Soprano" wrote in message ... teachrmama wrote: "Soprano" wrote in message ... teachrmama wrote: "Soprano" wrote in message ... Gini wrote: "Bob Whiteside" wrote "Soprano" wrote After holding on to these Child Support papers for a year, I was able to give them to my ex tonight, on his birthday, and the eve of my namesday, so he could fill his part out. Yay! Well that sure is better than handing him the papers at his mother's funeral or while he is in the hospital for major heart surgery. I will never understand how some women can celebrate being downright nasty as some sort of moral victory. == Heh--Especially when the kids are going to grow up someday and read usenet. I wasn't trying to be nasty. It os soooooo important for you to find a way to communicate with the father of your child. Your daughter is 4 years old--you are looking at a minimum of 14 years of money battles. And government control. If you were still married and either you or your husband lost his job, you would tighten your belts and get through the rough patch, and the government would say nothing about it. Since you are divorced, and filing for CS, YOU still get to tighten your belt and get through rough patches--but your ex no longer has that luxury. CSE *INSISTS* that he pay $X per month no matter what. And there are outrageous consequences if he fails--whether it is his fault or not. And YOU will not have the luxury of being kind and saying "We'll get by on less this month." It is no longer YOUR CHOICE--the government has taken over! I communicate with her father and she is 6. You chose not to comment on anything else I said. By filing for CS rather than coming to an agreement together you put your ex in a position where he can never be ill, never have an accident, never lose his job without accruing arrearages for nonpayment of child support--and if the illness, injury, or layoff lasts for too long, he will be held guilty of a felony just because he cannot pay what he does not have! In Ca, if the court orders it, payments go through the state system--and you will not have the power to say that he does not need to pay for a couple of months until he gets back on his feet. You will have put all control over that into the hands of the CS system. I am not saying that he should not support his child--but why does support have to be a certain amount of money, determined by people who neither know nor care about your child, you, or the father? If you communicate with him, sit down with him and show him what the state will take from him each month--then work out an agreement where he will pay an amount agreeable to both of you, and you wnd he will both keep records. You can always file later if he does not live up to his end of the agreement. Wh, exactly, is it that His Grace wants you to give up your power to a government agency? Doesn't he think you are capable of handling things on your own? His Grace cares about me and knows my circumstances. Perhaps His Grace thinks it would be better for me to let a government agency handle my ex, if you know what I mean. Again, I would be willing to discuss this in personal confidence in private email. Perhaps. I don't know you or your circumstances. I do know the pressure to have to pay when there is no money to pay destroys relationships and breeds resentments. I also know that, the vast majority of the time, children function better with both parents in their lives--and even better when the parents are able to communicate with each other without resentments clouding their relationship. Maybe you and His Grace have already sat down with dad and discussed the importance of both his presence in your child's life and his financial responsibility to her. Maybe he didn't listen. Again, I don't know. But if His Grace is one of those who thinks that a child is owed a certain lifestyle, no matter what it does to the noncustodial parent, I will have to disagree with him. And THAT is also the main disagreement I have with the CS system. A child deserves to have his/her needs met. He/She is NOT owed a life high on the hog. Nope. His Grace is in Anchorage, AK, we are in Marin County, California. Its not about communication or resentments. Trying to manage it ourselves would build resentments. To each their own. I seriously doubt His Grace thinks a child is owed a certain lifestyle, His Grace has been a monk for 36 years, more years than I have been alive, and monks take a vow of poverty. I am not going to argue with the former head of Family Support Services. His Grace knows me and my ex's circumstances. I will listen to His Grace. And that is a very important thing to consider, Soprano. We do not know your circumstances. His Grace has info you have not shared with us. We cannot help you make your decision. We can only contribute what we do based on our own experience, strength, and hope. I do understand better now where you are coming from. Is there any sort of support group you belong to? (It might be a good idea) For child support? Only this one. I might look and see if the child support handbook lists a support group. I lent it to my ex while he fills out the papers. Thank you for respecting His Grace's title. That is rare on Usenet. It is an honor to meet you. |
#17
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Victory!
"Soprano" wrote in message ... teachrmama wrote: "Soprano" wrote in message ... teachrmama wrote: "Soprano" wrote in message ... teachrmama wrote: "Soprano" wrote in message ... teachrmama wrote: "Soprano" wrote in message ... Gini wrote: "Bob Whiteside" wrote "Soprano" wrote After holding on to these Child Support papers for a year, I was able to give them to my ex tonight, on his birthday, and the eve of my namesday, so he could fill his part out. Yay! Well that sure is better than handing him the papers at his mother's funeral or while he is in the hospital for major heart surgery. I will never understand how some women can celebrate being downright nasty as some sort of moral victory. == Heh--Especially when the kids are going to grow up someday and read usenet. I wasn't trying to be nasty. It os soooooo important for you to find a way to communicate with the father of your child. Your daughter is 4 years old--you are looking at a minimum of 14 years of money battles. And government control. If you were still married and either you or your husband lost his job, you would tighten your belts and get through the rough patch, and the government would say nothing about it. Since you are divorced, and filing for CS, YOU still get to tighten your belt and get through rough patches--but your ex no longer has that luxury. CSE *INSISTS* that he pay $X per month no matter what. And there are outrageous consequences if he fails--whether it is his fault or not. And YOU will not have the luxury of being kind and saying "We'll get by on less this month." It is no longer YOUR CHOICE--the government has taken over! I communicate with her father and she is 6. You chose not to comment on anything else I said. By filing for CS rather than coming to an agreement together you put your ex in a position where he can never be ill, never have an accident, never lose his job without accruing arrearages for nonpayment of child support--and if the illness, injury, or layoff lasts for too long, he will be held guilty of a felony just because he cannot pay what he does not have! In Ca, if the court orders it, payments go through the state system--and you will not have the power to say that he does not need to pay for a couple of months until he gets back on his feet. You will have put all control over that into the hands of the CS system. I am not saying that he should not support his child--but why does support have to be a certain amount of money, determined by people who neither know nor care about your child, you, or the father? If you communicate with him, sit down with him and show him what the state will take from him each month--then work out an agreement where he will pay an amount agreeable to both of you, and you wnd he will both keep records. You can always file later if he does not live up to his end of the agreement. Wh, exactly, is it that His Grace wants you to give up your power to a government agency? Doesn't he think you are capable of handling things on your own? His Grace cares about me and knows my circumstances. Perhaps His Grace thinks it would be better for me to let a government agency handle my ex, if you know what I mean. Again, I would be willing to discuss this in personal confidence in private email. Perhaps. I don't know you or your circumstances. I do know the pressure to have to pay when there is no money to pay destroys relationships and breeds resentments. I also know that, the vast majority of the time, children function better with both parents in their lives--and even better when the parents are able to communicate with each other without resentments clouding their relationship. Maybe you and His Grace have already sat down with dad and discussed the importance of both his presence in your child's life and his financial responsibility to her. Maybe he didn't listen. Again, I don't know. But if His Grace is one of those who thinks that a child is owed a certain lifestyle, no matter what it does to the noncustodial parent, I will have to disagree with him. And THAT is also the main disagreement I have with the CS system. A child deserves to have his/her needs met. He/She is NOT owed a life high on the hog. Nope. His Grace is in Anchorage, AK, we are in Marin County, California. Its not about communication or resentments. Trying to manage it ourselves would build resentments. To each their own. I seriously doubt His Grace thinks a child is owed a certain lifestyle, His Grace has been a monk for 36 years, more years than I have been alive, and monks take a vow of poverty. I am not going to argue with the former head of Family Support Services. His Grace knows me and my ex's circumstances. I will listen to His Grace. And that is a very important thing to consider, Soprano. We do not know your circumstances. His Grace has info you have not shared with us. We cannot help you make your decision. We can only contribute what we do based on our own experience, strength, and hope. I do understand better now where you are coming from. Is there any sort of support group you belong to? (It might be a good idea) For child support? Only this one. I might look and see if the child support handbook lists a support group. I lent it to my ex while he fills out the papers. Thank you for respecting His Grace's title. That is rare on Usenet. It is an honor to meet you. No, Soprano, not for child support. That is just a decision you get to make and others will enforce. I have read your other writings. Believe it or not, I do know where you are coming from. It is very difficult to trust others, isn't it? You have a path that only you can walk--we all do. But there are others to help you along the way. You need to find someone that you really trust--a face to face person, because tome of voice and body language are such a huge part of communication--and really get to step 5. You cannot keep all this self doubt and fear stuffed inside. You seem to belong to any number of groups, and do a lot of internet communication--but none of it is going to make decisions for you. That is still going to be your choices. |
#18
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Victory!
teachrmama wrote:
No, Soprano, not for child support. That is just a decision you get to make and others will enforce. I have read your other writings. Believe it or not, I do know where you are coming from. It is very difficult to trust others, isn't it? You have a path that only you can walk--we all do. But there are others to help you along the way. You need to find someone that you really trust--a face to face person, because tome of voice and body language are such a huge part of communication--and really get to step 5. You cannot keep all this self doubt and fear stuffed inside. You seem to belong to any number of groups, and do a lot of internet communication--but none of it is going to make decisions for you. That is still going to be your choices. I trust a lot of people. I am solely here to deal with child support. I trust a lot of people face to face. I am on Step 8. I like to write. |
#19
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Victory!
"Soprano" wrote in message ... teachrmama wrote: No, Soprano, not for child support. That is just a decision you get to make and others will enforce. I have read your other writings. Believe it or not, I do know where you are coming from. It is very difficult to trust others, isn't it? You have a path that only you can walk--we all do. But there are others to help you along the way. You need to find someone that you really trust--a face to face person, because tome of voice and body language are such a huge part of communication--and really get to step 5. You cannot keep all this self doubt and fear stuffed inside. You seem to belong to any number of groups, and do a lot of internet communication--but none of it is going to make decisions for you. That is still going to be your choices. I trust a lot of people. I am solely here to deal with child support. I trust a lot of people face to face. I am on Step 8. I like to write. As I wrote before, Atlanta, the decision to file for governemnt enforced child support is a complex one. It would be impossible for us here to tell you "yes" or"no." We can only give advice. The decision is yours. It sounds as if your ex might realize that he needs help with his commitment to provide financially for his daughter, and is willing to have CSE help him with this. I would imagine, from some of what you have written, that he migfht belong to at least one of the organizations that you belong to--or, possibly, night need to belong. In that case, a little extra help keeping financial commitments might be exactly what he needs. Seemingly both of you agree with this course of action, so I have no problem with it. I wish you luck in overcoming your obstacles. |
#20
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Victory!
teachrmama wrote:
"Soprano" wrote in message ... teachrmama wrote: No, Soprano, not for child support. That is just a decision you get to make and others will enforce. I have read your other writings. Believe it or not, I do know where you are coming from. It is very difficult to trust others, isn't it? You have a path that only you can walk--we all do. But there are others to help you along the way. You need to find someone that you really trust--a face to face person, because tome of voice and body language are such a huge part of communication--and really get to step 5. You cannot keep all this self doubt and fear stuffed inside. You seem to belong to any number of groups, and do a lot of internet communication--but none of it is going to make decisions for you. That is still going to be your choices. I trust a lot of people. I am solely here to deal with child support. I trust a lot of people face to face. I am on Step 8. I like to write. As I wrote before, Atlanta, the decision to file for governemnt enforced child support is a complex one. It would be impossible for us here to tell you "yes" or"no." We can only give advice. The decision is yours. It sounds as if your ex might realize that he needs help with his commitment to provide financially for his daughter, and is willing to have CSE help him with this. I would imagine, from some of what you have written, that he migfht belong to at least one of the organizations that you belong to--or, possibly, night need to belong. In that case, a little extra help keeping financial commitments might be exactly what he needs. Seemingly both of you agree with this course of action, so I have no problem with it. I wish you luck in overcoming your obstacles. He should belong to one of those fellowships. That is up to him. Pray for him. He's struggling. And yes, that's the issue. After one year I have made the decision to file these papers. That is the advice. It is a complicated issue. But it is for our daughter, not me. I don't want to do this. I didn't want to divorce him. But this is life. This is adulthood. This is maturity. This is motherhood. This is responsibility. I had no idea our marriage would end in divorce after 5 years and 9 months. Its a great sorrow and a great tragedy. But that's the way it goes. |
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