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#1
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How to stop the night wakings?
Am I left to resort to scream-it-out?
DD is 20 months, and though she went through a few months of 9-11 hour sleep stretches, for the past few months she's back to waking up 1-2x night. Always around 4am, and sometimes around 1am. It's getting wearing on the whole household, although DH deals with it more than I. We usually nurse to bed sometime between 7-8pm: we start bedtime process around 7, but if it's bath night bedtime is a bit later. Usually this works and she's asleep by 8:30 or so. We were all co- sleeping, but around about November I realized that the All Night Booby Buffet was keeping her up, so I moved to another room (we don't really have a room for her yet, hopefully by August). That made her start sleeping longer for awhile. If she does wake up DH will either give her some milk, water, or snuggle and she'd fall back to sleep. Lately, though, she's been having a harder time falling back to sleep. If I go in to nurse her to sleep she doesn't really sleep, she just latches on for hours - if I try to remove my nipple gently she screams, so I know she's not fully asleep, nor am I She has a 1-1.5 hour nap at daycare and is fine during the day with other kids to distract her all day, but she's really cranky when she gets home and I think that's because she's so tired. She won't take a second nap (never has). Apart from the fact I'd like my bed back, I'd like to get her to sleep! We do put her in a crib which is in our room, but to do that we have to let her cry. Usually that only takes a few minutes, but it's not something I'd like to do. Is that going to be our last resort now for the 4am wakeup? |
#2
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How to stop the night wakings?
On Mar 12, 7:22 am, cjra wrote:
Apart from the fact I'd like my bed back, I'd like to get her to sleep! We do put her in a crib which is in our room, but to do that we have to let her cry. Usually that only takes a few minutes, but it's not something I'd like to do. Is that going to be our last resort now for the 4am wakeup? let me correct this - at 9pm (which is when we resort to the crib if she hasn't already fallen asleep), it now only takes a few minutes before she goes out. But at 4am, the few times we've tried, it's been 30min+ of _screaming_ before we finally give up. So I know it'll take a long time. |
#3
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How to stop the night wakings?
On Mar 12, 9:24�am, cjra wrote:
On Mar 12, 7:22 am, cjra wrote: Apart from the fact I'd like my bed back, I'd like to get her to sleep! We do put her in a crib which is in our room, but to do that we have to let her cry. Usually that only takes a few minutes, but it's not something I'd like to do. Is that going to be our last resort now for the 4am wakeup? let me correct this - at 9pm (which is when we resort to the crib if she hasn't already fallen asleep), it now only takes a few minutes before she goes out. But at 4am, the few times we've tried, it's been 30min+ of _screaming_ before we finally give up. So I know it'll take a long time. Babies that age can have nightmares or simply startle themselves with a dream fall, as they fall quite frequently every day at this age. They can also be getting their 2-year molars, which can inflame, subside, inflame again later, etc. I'd get her ears checked if you haven't already too just to rule it out. I wouldn't let her cry it out. Move her crib to the side of your bed so that you can reach a hand in and comfort her telling her shhhh, it's okay, mama's gotchya, etc. Try some white noise like a small fan. She'll learn that whatever it is that is waking her (minus anything painful) is only temporary and nothing to worry about. My 2-y/o loves to hit his Ocean Wonders mobile button, and he has done so since before the age of 1 actually. I hear it playing sometimes 4 or 5 times a night on the baby monitor, but he is obviously able to comfort himself back to sleep with either the music or the light. |
#4
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How to stop the night wakings?
On Mar 12, 9:46 am, Chris wrote:
On Mar 12, 9:24�am, cjra wrote: On Mar 12, 7:22 am, cjra wrote: Apart from the fact I'd like my bed back, I'd like to get her to sleep! We do put her in a crib which is in our room, but to do that we have to let her cry. Usually that only takes a few minutes, but it's not something I'd like to do. Is that going to be our last resort now for the 4am wakeup? let me correct this - at 9pm (which is when we resort to the crib if she hasn't already fallen asleep), it now only takes a few minutes before she goes out. But at 4am, the few times we've tried, it's been 30min+ of _screaming_ before we finally give up. So I know it'll take a long time. Babies that age can have nightmares or simply startle themselves with a dream fall, as they fall quite frequently every day at this age. They can also be getting their 2-year molars, which can inflame, subside, inflame again later, etc. I'd get her ears checked if you haven't already too just to rule it out. We've had the ears checked often, although the last time was early Feb. No problems there. I wouldn't let her cry it out. Move her crib to the side of your bed so that you can reach a hand in and comfort her telling her shhhh, it's okay, mama's gotchya, etc. That's a good idea..let's see if I can fit the crib there, although when I sleep in the same room with her now, she knows I'm there but not as close as she'd like so she screams more. She doesn't so much when it's just my husband with her. Try some white noise like a small fan. She'll learn that whatever it is that is waking her (minus anything painful) is only temporary and nothing to worry about. My 2-y/o loves to hit his Ocean Wonders mobile button, and he has done so since before the age of 1 actually. I hear it playing sometimes 4 or 5 times a night on the baby monitor, but he is obviously able to comfort himself back to sleep with either the music or the light. We have one of these things which she loves, but to her it means 4am Dance Time. She starts laughing and singing and carrying on. It doesn't put her back to sleep |
#5
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How to stop the night wakings?
On Mar 12, 7:22 am, cjra wrote:
Am I left to resort to scream-it-out? DD is 20 months, and though she went through a few months of 9-11 hour sleep stretches, for the past few months she's back to waking up 1-2x night. Always around 4am, and sometimes around 1am. It's getting wearing on the whole household, although DH deals with it more than I. We usually nurse to bed sometime between 7-8pm: we start bedtime process around 7, but if it's bath night bedtime is a bit later. Usually this works and she's asleep by 8:30 or so. We were all co- sleeping, but around about November I realized that the All Night Booby Buffet was keeping her up, so I moved to another room (we don't really have a room for her yet, hopefully by August). That made her start sleeping longer for awhile. If she does wake up DH will either give her some milk, water, or snuggle and she'd fall back to sleep. Lately, though, she's been having a harder time falling back to sleep. If I go in to nurse her to sleep she doesn't really sleep, she just latches on for hours - if I try to remove my nipple gently she screams, so I know she's not fully asleep, nor am I She has a 1-1.5 hour nap at daycare and is fine during the day with other kids to distract her all day, but she's really cranky when she gets home and I think that's because she's so tired. She won't take a second nap (never has). Apart from the fact I'd like my bed back, I'd like to get her to sleep! We do put her in a crib which is in our room, but to do that we have to let her cry. Usually that only takes a few minutes, but it's not something I'd like to do. Is that going to be our last resort now for the 4am wakeup? As a mom to two kids (3.5 & 5yo) I empathize. My kids have never slept through the night and I've given up. They go to bed at 8pm consistently and fall asleep on their own. They come to our bed any time after 2am (time varies) and sleep there until it's morning. I've learnt to cherish the cuddles because I know pretty soon they will pretend not to recognize me in public As long as you are getting adequate sleep and you're okay with it, let her come to your bed when she wakes up in the middle of the night. Instead of you going to her, teach her to come to you. |
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How to stop the night wakings?
On Mar 12, 9:55 am, wrote:
As a mom to two kids (3.5 & 5yo) I empathize. My kids have never slept through the night and I've given up. They go to bed at 8pm consistently and fall asleep on their own. They come to our bed any time after 2am (time varies) and sleep there until it's morning. I've learnt to cherish the cuddles because I know pretty soon they will pretend not to recognize me in public I told myself that for 20 months, but it's no longer flying. As long as you are getting adequate sleep and you're okay with it, let her come to your bed when she wakes up in the middle of the night. Instead of you going to her, teach her to come to you. That's the problem. We're not getting adequate sleep and we're not ok with it, which is why I asked for some help. I can live on little, but almost 2 years of 4-6 hours per night is getting to be a problem. My husband can't manage on less than 6. We can't function during the day. I also don't think DD is getting enough sleep, because she's so cranky at night and clearly tired but won't sleep. She doesn't need to 'come to us' as 90% of the time she's already in our bed. Otherwise she's in a crib. She does know how to crawl off a bed when she's awake, but asleep she moves around so much I don't trust her in a bed by herself, so she's either with us or in the crib. |
#7
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How to stop the night wakings?
On Mar 12, 11:06�am, cjra wrote:
On Mar 12, 9:55 am, wrote: As a mom to two kids (3.5 & 5yo) I empathize. My kids have never slept through the night and I've given up. They go to bed at 8pm consistently and fall asleep on their own. They come to our bed any time after 2am (time varies) and sleep there until it's morning. I've learnt to cherish the cuddles because I know pretty soon they will pretend not to recognize me in public I told myself that for 20 months, but it's no longer flying. As long as you are getting adequate sleep and you're okay with it, let her come to your bed when she wakes up in the middle of the night. Instead of you going to her, teach her to come to you. That's the problem. We're not getting adequate sleep and we're not ok with it, which is why I asked for some help. �I can live on little, but almost 2 years of �4-6 hours per night is getting to be a problem. My husband can't manage on less than 6. We can't function during the day. I also don't think DD is getting enough sleep, because she's so cranky at night and clearly tired but won't sleep. She doesn't need to 'come to us' as 90% of the time she's already in our bed. Otherwise she's in a crib. She does know how to crawl off a bed when she's awake, but asleep she moves around so much I don't trust her in a bed by herself, so she's either with us or in the crib. Hugs to you both! I got lucky there with some sleepers. That's not to say they didn't have occasional issues, but for the most part, sleepers. lol. (not trying to rub it in). I'd try the white noise machine or a fan - I find it helps block out noise, as well as silence. My last baby was an awesome sleeper because the crib was next to me and he could probably just be soothed by our breathing/sleeping noises, but he has been in his own room since age 1 (the same room though because we converted our family room into a fourth bedroom so there was no change involved for him) with occasional difficulties. The other 2 were in their own rooms from pretty much the getgo, the only exception being the first couple of months with our first (he would crack open an eye at a week old to see if we were still there!). lol. I can tell with his cry what has probably occurred - hurting, sleeping limb with numbness or tingling, scared, etc. He is 2 years and 5 months old, and he is able to say "it hurts" or hold his sleeping arm out to me. He definitely doesn't seem to like stone silence though, hence the tabletop fan in his room pointed into the closet. All of the kids wound up, and the last one winds up, in our bed from time to time though. Good luck. Hopefully it will pass soon. You could try a dose of Tylenol or Motrin just to see if it was due to teething pain from molars too. You can't always see those ones working in during the early stages. I have known people who say they haven't slept a good night since giving birth XX years ago too though. That gives me shivers! |
#8
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How to stop the night wakings?
On Mar 12, 12:23 pm, Chris wrote:
On Mar 12, 11:06�am, cjra wrote: On Mar 12, 9:55 am, wrote: As a mom to two kids (3.5 & 5yo) I empathize. My kids have never slept through the night and I've given up. They go to bed at 8pm consistently and fall asleep on their own. They come to our bed any time after 2am (time varies) and sleep there until it's morning. I've learnt to cherish the cuddles because I know pretty soon they will pretend not to recognize me in public I told myself that for 20 months, but it's no longer flying. As long as you are getting adequate sleep and you're okay with it, let her come to your bed when she wakes up in the middle of the night. Instead of you going to her, teach her to come to you. That's the problem. We're not getting adequate sleep and we're not ok with it, which is why I asked for some help. �I can live on little, but almost 2 years of �4-6 hours per night is getting to be a problem. My husband can't manage on less than 6. We can't function during the day. I also don't think DD is getting enough sleep, because she's so cranky at night and clearly tired but won't sleep. She doesn't need to 'come to us' as 90% of the time she's already in our bed. Otherwise she's in a crib. She does know how to crawl off a bed when she's awake, but asleep she moves around so much I don't trust her in a bed by herself, so she's either with us or in the crib. Hugs to you both! I got lucky there with some sleepers. That's not to say they didn't have occasional issues, but for the most part, sleepers. lol. (not trying to rub it in). pbbbtttthhh! I'd try the white noise machine or a fan - I find it helps block out noise, as well as silence. Ah yes. I have often considered this and *I* like white noise, but have a husband who hates it. We had to search for a fan that had NO noise....I've tried convincing him to sleep in the other room (it's kind of open, no doors, as it's not really a bedroom, it's just where we have the spare bed til we finish her room, which is why I can't put her there), but he claims he can't sleep in that bed. grrrr My last baby was an awesome sleeper because the crib was next to me and he could probably just be soothed by our breathing/sleeping noises, but he has been in his own room since age 1 (the same room though because we converted our family room into a fourth bedroom so there was no change involved for him) with occasional difficulties. DD has slept with us since she came home from NICU (I sometimes wonder if she's trying to make up for those 3 weeks of not being near us!)...I had visions of moving her out at about a year but we didn't get to her room yet. We're finally starting now. She's never been a good sleeper, and I think now, being near us wakes her up more, that's why my moving out of the room helped for awhile. It's been lousy ever since she got croup, got better for awhile, but is now really lousy again. The other 2 were in their own rooms from pretty much the getgo, the only exception being the first couple of months with our first (he would crack open an eye at a week old to see if we were still there!). lol. I can tell with his cry what has probably occurred - hurting, sleeping limb with numbness or tingling, scared, etc. He is 2 years and 5 months old, and he is able to say "it hurts" or hold his sleeping arm out to me. He definitely doesn't seem to like stone silence though, hence the tabletop fan in his room pointed into the closet. All of the kids wound up, and the last one winds up, in our bed from time to time though. Good luck. Hopefully it will pass soon. You could try a dose of Tylenol or Motrin just to see if it was due to teething pain from molars too. You can't always see those ones working in during the early stages. I did think she was teething some of those nights, but tylenol or motrin don't do much for her. They seem to have no effect. I wonder if it's because she had such heavy drugs the first week of life (she was under heavy sedation) that she's too sensitized....I don't know how valid that is, but I have noticed that the effect of the meds is minor if at all - if she's really teething it'll calm her down some, but doesn't help her sleep. I have known people who say they haven't slept a good night since giving birth XX years ago too though. That gives me shivers! I had such high hopes as it was improving for awhile, but now seems to be going downhill again. She wasn't eating a lot at nights for awhile, and I thought that was it, but even when she does eat well, she's still not sleeping. |
#9
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How to stop the night wakings?
Hi -- With our kids, we approached things as follows, and had both kids pretty much sleeping through before age 2: First, deal with falling asleep at night: Feed well so the child falls asleep feeling full Never nurse all the way to sleep Consistent sleeping place (crib -- I could never sleep through the night snuffles when in the same room) Next, deal with morning: Blackout shades in bedroom Never feed right on waking. Instead, do morning routine first (diaper, dress both of us) Go to kitchen to eat and nurse Finally, deal with night wakings: Never feed at night Be boring at night -- no talking, just "shhh, shhh" Keep child in crib when he wakes, do not remove to my bed Let child cry if it doesn't last more than minutes Consider pain reliever (tylenol, etc) if you suspect teething pain causing the wakings The theory is that waking is caused partly by habits that can be changed. Ie, a child is used to eating right away on waking, so learns to waken when mildly hungry. But by age two (or earlier) the child should be able to sleep through a certain amount of hunger. In the end, we had one night with 10 minutes of crying, one night of two minutes, and that was it for crying. BUT this was after we had put all the other steps in place. Sleeping through the night is GLORIOUS. The kids are 10 and 12 now, which means we have the opposite problem: getting them out of bed in the morning. Good luck, --Beth Kevles -THE-COM-HERE http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner. NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the GMAIL one if you would like me to reply. |
#10
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How to stop the night wakings?
"Beth Kevles" wrote in message ... Hi -- With our kids, we approached things as follows, and had both kids pretty much sleeping through before age 2: First, deal with falling asleep at night: Feed well so the child falls asleep feeling full Never nurse all the way to sleep Consistent sleeping place (crib -- I could never sleep through the night snuffles when in the same room) Futher the habot and associate will feel sleepy if it is consistent. Next, deal with morning: Blackout shades in bedroom Never feed right on waking. Instead, do morning routine first (diaper, dress both of us) Go to kitchen to eat and nurse Finally, deal with night wakings: Never feed at night Be boring at night -- no talking, just "shhh, shhh" Keep child in crib when he wakes, do not remove to my bed Let child cry if it doesn't last more than minutes Consider pain reliever (tylenol, etc) if you suspect teething pain causing the wakings The theory is that waking is caused partly by habits that can be changed. Ie, a child is used to eating right away on waking, so learns to waken when mildly hungry. But by age two (or earlier) the child should be able to sleep through a certain amount of hunger. In the end, we had one night with 10 minutes of crying, one night of two minutes, and that was it for crying. BUT this was after we had put all the other steps in place. Sleeping through the night is GLORIOUS. The kids are 10 and 12 now, which means we have the opposite problem: getting them out of bed in the morning. Good luck, --Beth Kevles -THE-COM-HERE http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner. NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the GMAIL one if you would like me to reply. |
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